"Then don't think Riley. For the next thirty minutes, just don't think." I whispered in ear before placing small featherlike kisses to her neck.
Her only response was a muffled moan, so I took that as a sign to continue. My lips slowly made their way down her neck, across her collarbone and eventually to her perfect breasts. I slid my finger between the thin lace bra that was still covering them and her skin, pulling it back just enough to expose her nipple. Her body shuttered beneath me as I took her nipple into my mouth. As my tongue repeatedly flicked across her hardened nipple, I could feel my arousal growing. My need to be inside of her was beyond my control at this point and I was trying everything I could to keep from skipping straight to just burying myself deep inside her.
As if she could read my mind, her hand swiftly moved down to my waistband. I could tell she needed this as much as I did, when she made quick work of unbuttoning my pants, setting my erection free. I let out a loud moan as her hand wrapped around my length, and as she began stroking my hard cock, I literally felt myself melting around her.
I quickly pulled a condom from my wallet and sat back as I pulled her pants from her body. My fingers found their way to her hardened nub and circled it until she was on the brink of falling over the edge. Riley took me by complete surprise when she ripped the condom wrapper from my hand and rolled it down me. I glanced down into her beautiful eyes, waiting for the okay from her. I wasn't about to ruin the moment by doing anything she wasn't prepared to do. She slightly nodded her head and a smile formed on my lips.
Without another thought, I gently started pushing myself inside of her. She was so wet that my cock hardened even more with the contact. Once I was fully inside of her, I didn't waste another minute being gentle. Something inside of me took over and the overwhelming need and want for her pushed me harder and faster into her.
With every thrust I could feel her legs tighten around my waist. Her hands flew up to my back, her nails raking across the skin. Her warm breath caressed my skin as my eyes fluttered shut. Every thought was of how perfect her and I felt together and how much of my heart this girl had already stolen away from me. Now I had her, completely. She was mine and I never wanted to let her go. I could feel myself getting closer, but couldn't do it alone. I wanted her to come with me. I wanted to feel our bodies succumb to the pleasure together.
"I'm close, sweetheart." I had slowed just a tad, to make sure she was right there with me.
"I am too." She whispered back, and within seconds we were both falling into ecstasy.
My body gently fell to hers. Our breathing was erratic and heavy. In that very moment, I knew that this was who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. There was no longer a question or single doubt in my mind. I rolled my body to her side, caressing and stroking her dewy skin. Her skin felt amazing beneath my fingers and I don't think I would ever get enough of her. When my eyes made their way up to hers, I noticed the smile that had formed on her face. It was just as beautiful as her. Her perfectly straight, white teeth were noticeable and I couldn't help but smile in return.
"What are you smiling about?" She giggled.
"You. You're amazing Riley, and by the way, that smile makes you even more beautiful. You should wear it more often." I laughed.
"Well, maybe I will." That beautiful smile stayed plastered to her face the entire time we both dressed ourselves. Not once did I see it waver or look uncomfortable. It suited her, and I felt proud that I was the one that helped put it there.
"So there's something I wanted to tell you."
"Oh really?" When she sat down on the edge of the bed her smile faded and was once again replaced with her scowl. "What is it, Riley?"
"Well, I've decided to leave this place. I'm moving into my mom's house. She left it to me in her will. She actually left me everything she has ever owned."
I pulled my shirt over my head and ran my hands through my unruly hair before making my way over to her. I sat down next to her and took her hands in my own. "Are you sure that's the best idea? I mean, here you have help and people to talk to and you're not alone."
"I know, but I think it's time. Mr. Rollins agrees with me. We've already decided that I would start individual sessions with him every week, even twice if needed. I haven't seen my mother's place yet, but I'm sure it's livable."
I dropped my head in defeat. There were reasons I liked Riley being here, and not worrying about her safety was the biggest one. I was proud of her for all that she had accomplished so far, but I didn't want to see her throw it all away without thinking this through.
"Are you going to live alone?"
"Well, yeah I was planning on it. I'll be okay, Tristan. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I promise."
I stood and started pacing in front of her. "I believe you, Riley. That's not what I'm worried about. There are a lot of things that can affect you out there. I'm just not sure you're ready for all of this." Judging by the look on Riley's face, I instantly knew that, that was the wrong thing to say. "Riley, wait. That's not what I meant."
She turned quickly and stood right in my face, "That is exactly what you meant to say. That's what you honestly believe. Well I've got news for you sweetheart, I don't need you or anybody else. I've survived this long on my own. I'm ready to do whatever needs to be done to make myself happy, and if you can't accept that, well then I guess this is where we part ways."
She flung open the bedroom door and went storming down the hall. Before I could make it to her, London was wrapping her in his arms. I could see her body shaking as the tears were finally breaking free, and it was killing me that I was the one who caused them. Worse than that, London was the one that was comforting her.
I pulled my shoes on and stormed down the hallway, purposefully bumping into them as I passed by. Just when I thought we could possibly make this work, I found myself questioning just how such a volatile relationship could ever last. I glanced over my shoulder just before I turned the corner to leave the ward, and noticed that London had turned her so only he could see me. I half expected him to do so, but when he gave me that sly piece of shit grin, I knew I had my work cut out for me. The doors slammed shut behind me and I half ran out to my car.
"Tristan!" Shit, I had totally forgotten about my sister.
"Grace, I'm not really in the mood right now. Can we please just go?" I unlocked the doors and threw myself into the drivers seat.
"Man, what the hell happened up there?"
"Not now, Grace. I'm begging you."
"Okay."
We both buckled our seat belts and headed back to my condo. I wasn't sure what was going to happen with Riley and myself now, but I had only one idea on how to deal with it all. As soon as we pulled into my carport, I shut the car off and took the stairs two at a time to get to my room. I pulled on my board shorts, grabbed my wetsuit and board and headed out to the beach.
The stretch of beach in front of my condo was completely desolate and for the first time in my life, I was thankful. I usually loved to be around other people, have others to surf with, but today I just needed one thing. I paddled out as far as I could before getting tired. I sat up on my board and took in the magnificent scenery around me. I let my eyes fall shut as the midday sun hit my face with such amazing warmth. I wasn't worried about catching the perfect wave at the moment; I was only worried about finding my peace.
When I opened my eyes, I could barely see the shoreline and I decided to start paddling back in a little ways. As I started getting closer to shore, the waves were more than I could ever ask for. I caught a few and rode them for longer than I thought. By the time I actually started making my way in, I saw my sister sitting on the beach, obviously waiting for me. The sun had started to dip below the horizon and I realized that I had been out here most of the day.
"How long have you been sitting here?" I shook the water from my hair and unzipped my wetsuit, pulling it half way down before taking a seat next to Grace.
"A while." She was
drawing in the sand with a stick like she always used to when we would come out here as kids.
"What's wrong, Gracie?"
"I don't know, Tristan. Everything just seems like it's all fading away. I feel lost."
I put my arm around my sister's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Everything is going to be fine, Grace. I promise I won't let things get bad again."
"I know you won't."
Grace and I sat in that same spot and in that position until long after the sun had set. We never spoke a word and we never had to. We had a bond that was as if we would've been twins. Neither one of us ever had to express our feelings too often, because the other one was already taking the steps to fix whatever was wrong. I trusted Grace more than anybody in this world and I would do everything in my power to make sure she always knew that.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Riley
The day had come and gone and now it was almost midnight, and Tristan hadn't returned once. Not that I expected him to come back, begging me to forgive him, but a small part of me wished that he would have. Even though I had found comfort in London's embrace, it wasn't what I had wanted or even needed at the time. I wanted Tristan. London had never been anything but kind and understanding, but our relationship was different than Tristan’s and mine.
Soon after Tristan had left, I pushed back from London asking him to just give me some time to sort things out. He was understanding and accepting, but was still lingering around the hallways. I wasn't sure if I had pushed Tristan away for good with my over reacting, but I wasn't willing to let London ruin any chance of that. Now that I was aware of London's feelings, I found myself being more cautious with the things I said and did.
I had been staring at the same spot on the ceiling for the last hour, contemplating my next move as far as Tristan was concerned. Earlier today had been amazing. It was something I never imagined feeling. I was used to being forced to do the things that should have been enjoyable and Tristan had been so gentle and loving with me. I now understood what people meant when they would say that making love was much different than just having sex.
In that moment, I had realized that what I felt for Tristan was love and not just some emotion I couldn't explain. Although the fear I felt was an overwhelming feeling, I was suddenly looking forward to actually living my life. I got up to go to the bathroom one last time before finally laying down and forcing myself to get some sleep. Unfortunately the situation wasn't going to be resolved tonight, so I may as well rest up for my big day tomorrow. As much as I knew I was ready to be on my own again, I was deathly afraid of failing. My eyes began to get heavy and the last thought I had before I finally succumbed to sleep was one of Tristan and I, and we were happy, truly happy.
I woke with the rising sun the next morning. I rolled over towards the window that held the most amazing views of the Pacific Ocean and tucked the blanket tightly around myself. I watched as the sun slowly rose above the horizon, bringing a new day and a new sense of hope for my new life and myself. Today was the day that I became an independent woman, and there wasn't anything or anybody who could stop me.
I glanced at the small alarm clock next to me realizing that I had been awake a lot longer than I had first thought. I only had about twenty minutes to get ready for group and today; I was actually looking forward to it. I was about to force myself out of bed when Blake's voice echoed through the room, causing me to startle.
"Morning Riley." Her voice was lower than usual and seemed a bit off.
I rolled over so I now had a straight view of her. She was still tucked in tightly into her bed with a sadness in her eyes.
"You okay, Blake?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just going to be a hard day."
I sat myself up and locked eyes with Blake, "Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean we won't ever see each other again. You know that right?"
"I know. I'm just so happy for you, Riley. Did you and Tristan work your "stuff" out?"
I let out a small giggle as she made quotation around stuff. "Honestly Blake, I think we have bigger issues than we first believed. We had an amazing day together though and that counts for something, right?" I knew she would see right through my questionable thoughts, but that's what I liked most about Blake. She knew exactly what I was really saying, without me having to say it. I think that's why I trusted her so much.
Blake stretched her body the entire length of the bed before she got up and made her way over to my bed. I pulled the covers back for her to slide in next to me. She linked her arm through mine and laid her head on my shoulder. Before I ended up in this place, I couldn't even stand to be touched. Now that I had learned to love myself and put the past behind me, well let's just say I have warmed up to physical contact.
"That counts for a lot, Riley. Just the fact that you have let him in and he's letting you in, is a huge step. I'm proud of you Riley. I only want good things to happen for you from now on."
"I know you do, Blake. You were a good thing. I like that I have a girlfriend I can actually talk to without feeling judged or uncomfortable. I know I gave you a hard time when we first met, but I'm so grateful for your persistence. I feel like I could tell you anything and you will always have my best interest at heart."
"I always will Riley. All you ever have to do is call, and I'll be there. Well, as soon as I get out of this hell hole at least."
I laid my head on top of Blake's. "Blake, are you sure you're going to be okay?"
"I promise. Don't you worry about me girl, I'm a survivor."
"I know you are, but it's okay to ask for or need help. Just promise me you'll keep in touch."
"Promise. Now enough of this lovey dovey bullshit. Get your ass out of bed so you can go say your goodbyes."
I let out a loud heartfelt laugh, "Yes ma'am."
We both quickly dressed and started making our way down the long desolate hallway to group. The place was quieter than it had ever been before and I had a bad feeling in my stomach. Something just seemed, off. When we got to the doors that opened up to the vast room where group was always held, a forlorn feeling nestled into my gut. As much as I hated to admit it, I was going to miss this place. Tristan was right in a sense. I needed these people. I needed the feeling that I belonged. Blake reached down to grab my hand and gave it a tight squeeze.
"You ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."
Seconds later, Blake was pushing the doors open and the entire group was yelling surprise. My hands flew up to my mouth in shock and surprise. All of these people were here, for me. I slowly started making my way over to everyone when I noticed all the work that they had put into setting up this place. A huge banner hung high on the wall across the room that read, 'Good luck in your new life, Riley'. There were pink and white streamers hanging from every ledge and wall in the room and a giant cake sat at the far end of the room on a table with coffee and soda. No one had ever thrown me a party before, let alone a surprise party and I couldn't stop myself from getting a little bit emotional.
Everyone stood there staring at me, waiting for some sort of response, but I was at a loss for words. "Tha..Thank you all, so very much. This means so much to me." Everyone smiled and gave small waves in my direction as some other people came over to give me awkward hugs. I glanced around the room looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Instead my eyes stopped on London, who was looking at me in a way that wasn't just friendly anymore. As much as I thought it would make me uncomfortable, it didn't and that in itself surprised the shit out of me.
I slowly made my way over to him and Mr. Rollins. London's arms were stretched out to his sides just waiting for me to hug him. As much as I didn't want to, I did, and it felt nice. "Thank you for all of this." I whispered as I stood on my tiptoes to plant a small chaste kiss to his cheek.
"You're very welcome, Riley."
I stayed in London's embrace until Mr. Rollins cleared his throat from beside me. "Riley, can I speak with you for a moment a
lone?"
"Of course." My arms instantly dropped to my sides and I followed him to the other side of the room.
"I just wanted to take a minute to say how proud of you I am. You've made some really good progress here and I look forward to helping you along the rest of the way to healing. You're a very strong person and I find that to be a very admirable trait in a young lady such as yourself. Now don't forget, you need to meet with me first thing tomorrow morning and then once a week after that. You can always come and see me more often if you'd like to, but once a week is mandatory."
"I remember." I crossed my arms over my chest as I was starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable by the close proximity of our bodies. There had always been something a little weird about Mr. Rollins and I had always played it off to it just being the way that he was as a person, but lately I was starting to think maybe it was more.
His hand went up and settled on my shoulder and I pulled back a bit. "Riley, if you ever need anything, anything at all, here is my office and cell phone number. Please don't ever hesitate to call. Do you have your living situation all sorted out yet?"
"I'm going to my mother's house as soon as I get released from here. I guess I'll just have to take it from there."
"Okay well, make sure you don't do it alone. You never know what you may find yourself faced with when you get there."
"I know. I'll have someone with me."
"Good. Well, let's get back to your party, shall we?"
He gave me a crooked smile, making the hairs on the back of my neck stick up. Something wasn't right. I could feel it deep down. A lot of people were here to celebrate with me, so I pushed my uneasiness away for now. I joined everybody from group who were standing in a small circle by the back windows. London of course was in the thick of it and making himself the center of attention. He was never arrogant about it, but he somehow had everybody flocking to him, interested in every word that came out of his mouth. I nudged Blake in the side and she turned to look at me, her smile fading when she saw the look on my face.
Faithless Page 10
