Faithless

by Amanda Bennett

  "Why wouldn't I? It's not like you provoked him or anything." I slid my hand into one of his and gave it a tight squeeze. "You almost ready to go?"

  "Yes, please get me the hell out of here. I'm going insane." We both shared a laugh at the irony of it all, and then we were on our way. I was given a list of instructions of how to take care of him, until the home nurse could make it out to check on him in a couple of days. I grabbed all of his paperwork and tried to grab his bag, but he quickly stopped me and threw it over his shoulder shaking his head at me.

  "I'm just trying to help."

  "I know." He took my hand again as we walked towards the elevators and I was happy he did.

  We said our goodbyes to Mr. Rollins and made our way to my car. When he saw what we were getting in to, it sounded almost like he started choking. "This yours?"

  I nodded. "Well, it was my mother's, I think. It's a long story."

  "I've got nothing but time, sweetheart."

  We both smiled at each other and climbed into the car. When we reached the house, London had the same look on his face that he had when he saw my car. "Mom's too?" He asked.

  "Yeah. She left me everything in her will."

  "I see."

  "Well I think you'll recuperate here nicely. Just wait until you see the inside, oh and the back."

  "It would've been fine even if it was a shack somewhere, Riley. Thank you so much for this."

  "You're welcome. Speaking of houses, where do you live?"

  "I've been staying with a friend for the last couple of months. I don't make much working with Mr. Rollins, so I make do."

  "Well that's nice of him to let you stay there."

  "Yeah, she's cool like that."

  "Oh sorry, I just assumed."

  "It's okay, most people do. Let's go in."

  We came in through the garage and I led London into the living room, where I told him to throw his bag anywhere he wanted. Then I walked over to the wall of glass and pulled the curtains back, allowing the sunshine to shine right through. I unlocked the doors and slid them back. "Isn't it just breathtaking?"

  He nodded in response as he made his way out back. I stayed back a little bit in case he wanted some privacy as he took in the view, but he was quickly turning and motioning for me to come stand next to him.

  "This place is amazing, Riley."

  "I know, right?"

  After we hung out outside for a little bit, London said he was getting tired, so I showed him to the extra bedroom on the main floor. I helped him take his stuff in there and get comfortable before I left him to nap. I made my way up to the kitchen and started getting some stuff together to make dinner. I didn't have a whole lot in the way of meals for more than one person, so I settled on spaghetti.

  I was going a little bit stir crazy, so I decided to grab a book off of one of the many bookcases downstairs and made my way out back. I grabbed one of the folded up lounge chairs and went down to the beach. I placed my chair in just the right spot so the water would wash over my feet but nothing else. It was so peaceful. I could've stayed in this exact spot for forever. And that's pretty much what I did. I must've fallen asleep, because a strong hand on my shoulder was waking me up. I jumped up out of my chair a little surprised and scared, to say the least. When London's face came into view in the light of the setting sun, I let out an audible sigh of relief.

  "Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya."

  "It's okay. Guess I was more tired than I thought." I laughed. "You ready to eat something? I was going to make spaghetti." Just as the words came out of my mouth, I realized that he wouldn't be able to eat much of anything for the next two weeks. "Oh god, sorry. I totally spaced it. I can run out and grab some soup or something?"

  "It's okay. Do you have a blender?"

  "Um, that I'll have to check on. I still don't know where everything is around this place."

  "Alright, well let's go explore that kitchen then."

  We started to walk up to the house when I realized I had forgotten my chair and book. If I left it out over night, the tide would sure take it out with it later. As I reached the chair and folded it back up, I caught sight of a surfer not too far out, just bobbing up and down while he sat on his board. I didn't have to look hard to know who it was. I could feel him around even if he wasn't. I thought about giving a small wave, but the angry part of me opted to just clean up and head inside. I didn't even look back as I headed inside, and trust me, I desperately wanted to.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Tristan

  I wish I could say that I was surprised to see London at her house, but really I wasn't. I knew London's type and I knew his game. He was going to use her for everything he could and then leave her high and dry. As much as I wasn't okay with that, there really was nothing I could do. I stayed out in the water a little bit longer. When I realized that she wasn't coming back out, that's when I decided to head home.

  Grace was in the kitchen making us dinner when I came strolling in looking like a drowned rat.

  "Waves not so good today?"

  "No, they were fine. London's at Riley's house."

  "What? Are you serious? When will that asshole ever learn? I'm sorry, Tristan. Don't worry about that now. We have a plan remember?"

  "I know. It just sucks. That's supposed to be me with her."

  "I know, big brother. Soon you'll have her all to yourself. I promise. Just trust me."

  "I do. I'm going to jump in the shower real quick. You got everything out here under control?"

  "Yep, but hurry up. Dinner will be done in about ten minutes."

  I nodded and headed towards the bathroom. I took a quick shower and got dressed to join my sister for dinner. She had made lasagna, my favorite and if I had known any better I would've said it tasted just like our mom's. For a brief second I missed the way our family used to be and I suddenly had a yearning to speak with my mother. It had been far too long and was way overdue, but if anything I just wanted to hear her voice. I grabbed my phone off of the table and found my mother's name in my contacts list. Just as I clicked on her number, Grace walked over to me and held her finger to her mouth.

  "Don't you dare tell her I'm here."

  "Calm down, Gracie. I won't tell her. I promise." Grace leaned down and kissed my forehead, then made her way out back.

  After a third ring, my mother's voice broke through the line. "Tristan? Is it really you?"

  Her voice was soft and comforting and the fear of speaking with her started to dissipate. "Hi mom. Yes, it's me. How are you?"

  "I'm good, Tristan. Really good, now that you're calling me again. How have you been?"

  I could sense the worry in her tone. "I'm really good, Mom. Things are looking up."

  "Are you still with the force?" She was starting to ask too many questions and I wasn't comfortable with it.

  "Yes Mom. Anything new around your parts?" My mother only lived about forty-five minutes away from me, but she was alone and I worried about that.

  "No, nothing new I suppose. I've just been working really hard putting together a huge gala for abused children that's coming up in a couple of weeks. It's been quite interesting getting to know so many young people who were abused as a child. It's very eye opening. You know, you should come. I would love to see you and catch up. I miss you terribly, Tristan."

  I should've seen that one coming. "I don't think that would be the best idea, Mom. Besides, you won't have time to sit around and catch up with me. It's a gala Mom, which you're putting on. So for now, I think I'll just say no thank you."

  "Okay Tristan, I understand. If you change your mind though, please let me know."

  "I will. Well, I just wanted to say hello and let you know I'm still alive and well."

  "That's not funny, Tristan. I'm glad you are well though. Please keep in touch more often."

  "I'll try Mom. I have to go now. I'll call again soon."

  "Love you."

  "Love you too."

  The line
went dead and I sat back staring at the screen on my phone. "Well at least that conversation went better than the last one."

  "I guess so. I swear she just brushes everything under the rug still. She invited me to some big gala she is throwing for abused children."

  "I guessed as much. Oh my god, Tristan." Grace jumped up, slapping my bicep.

  "Ouch, Grace. What is your deal?"

  "I'll bet you any money, Mr. Rollins will be trying to convince Riley to go to that gala, and that's way better than the plan we came up with. He strikes me as a pusher."

  "A pusher?" I laughed.

  "Yeah. You know, someone who pushes other people to do shit. Whatever. You should tell Mom you'll go and then casually bump into Riley there."

  "Even if Mr. Rollins "pushes" her to go, doesn't mean she'll actually show up."

  "True, but maybe London will convince her to go. Oh, sorry I said the "L" word."

  "I guess it could work out. It is a better plan than ours. I'll think about it."

  Well don't think about it too long or you'll talk yourself out of it."

  "Okay Grace, I promise I'll make a decision in the next day or so."

  "Did she say when it was?"

  "No, she just said in a couple of weeks."

  "Okay perfect. That's plenty of time to get her to go. I have a plan."

  "Great, another plan! Now do you want to fill me in on it?"

  "Not really." She chimed as she patted me on top of my head.

  After my sister disappeared into the other room, I decided to try and get some sleep before I put my own plan into action tomorrow morning. As much as I trusted my sister, I needed to make sure I had a back up plan just in case hers didn't work out.

  ~~~~

  I woke the next morning feeling renewed and refreshed. I quickly jumped into the shower and got ready for my first day back at work. I wasn't exactly looking forward to being back around everybody after what had happened, but I guess now was as good a time as any. My sister must've still been sleeping because there was no coffee waiting in the pot. She was notorious for waking up early and having a fresh pot waiting for me, but today not so much. I finished my first cup in record time and got a second one to go.

  Driving to the local police station was something I never thought I would do again, but here I was, going back. I was just thankful that the chief understood enough to hold my job for me as I readjusted to, well life. I parked in my usual spot and took a deep breath before heading into the station. I didn't get the sympathetic stares that I was expecting to get and that calmed my nerves a bit.

  "Well, well if it isn't Tristan Hayes in the flesh."

  "Good morning, sir. Thanks for having me back."

  "You're a good cop Tristan and I'm glad that you have found this to be your home once again. So, we are going to put you with Christiansen for a while and see how you guys do together. I know it's not the same, but with everything that happened with Miller, I think this will be a good fit."

  Just the mention of my old partner had my stomach in knots. We had been partners straight out of the academy and friends before that. When he was involved in a car accident with his wife about a month before I met Riley's mother, the doctors had said that his outlook looked great. Two days later, Miller passed away. It hit me harder than it would have if I had lost my own mother, that's how close we were. I managed to keep myself in control of my emotions during the funeral and for at least a week after, but the chief knew exactly what I was going through, so he forced me to take some time. That's when I started working for Riley's mom. I wasn't a stay at home and deal with your emotions type of guy, so I threw myself into my side work.

  "Tristan, you okay?" I could hear the concern in his voice.

  "Yeah, sorry I was just thinking about something. Go on, sir."

  "We'll start you out easy. You guys can take day patrol and then we will go from there. Any questions?"

  "Nope. None that I can think of. Thanks for this opportunity, sir." I stood and shook his hand before leaving his office.

  I walked over to the only open desk in the room and ran into my new partner. "Hey there, I'm Tristan Hayes. Looks like you're my new partner." I held out my hand for him to shake it.

  "I know who you are. I'm Brandon Christiansen. Nice to meet you man."

  We shook hands and I sat at the desk that faced his.

  "I'm really sorry about your old partner, man. If you ever need anything just let me know."

  "Thanks man, I appreciate it."

  "Well, whenever you're ready we can head out."

  "Let me just go change into my uniform and then I'll be good to go."

  "Sounds good. I'll meet ya down at the cruiser."

  I waited for Brandon to head out first so I could do a little detective work before I went to change. I booted up my computer and quickly typed in London's name. I wasn't sure of his date of birth or his parent's names, so I ended up with limited results. I quickly printed the page out, snatched it off of the printer and made my way down to the locker rooms. I changed as fast as I could, stashed the printout in my jeans and headed out to work.

  The day was long and boring. Not a whole lot happens in the middle of the day in Malibu that was one thing I was for sure about. When we got back to the station at the end of the day, I was in a hurry to get out of there. I needed to go home and check in on what was happening at Riley's house down the street. I also needed to call some of my contacts to see if they could dig up some more stuff on London.

  I said my good-byes to all the guys and headed home. I did a quick drive by to see if Riley was home, but her car must've been parked in the garage or they weren't there. God, it made me sick to my stomach to even think about them together. This was going to kill me if it got drug out much longer.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Riley

  "So Riley, how's it going having London at your house?" Mr. Rollins voice broke through my thoughts like a wrecking ball.

  "Good, I guess. He can't talk for too long with his jaw wired shut, so conversations are held to a minimum."

  "I bet. So tell me, did anything new happen last night that you would like to talk about?"

  I was really starting to loathe coming here. I was never one to want to talk about my feelings and now, that's all I seemed to do. It was exhausting. "Actually, I ran into Tristan on the beach last night. Well not so much ran into, as I just saw him. He must've just gotten done surfing, because he still had on his board shorts. I thought about waving at him, but we just exchanged an awkward stare instead, and then I went inside. I know, now you want to know how I feel about that, right?"

  "You said it, not me."

  "I don't know how to feel about it. I feel safe and secure knowing he's close by, I suppose. But on the other hand, I feel like I'm under constant scrutiny now. Of course part of me still wants him to want me, but I'm just not sure I'm ready for that. I'm still mad at him for what he did to London. Even though he apologized, I still feel like he doesn't get it."

  "Well okay then. How did you sleep last night?"

  "I slept okay. I slept in what I can only assume was my room, and it felt nice to have a place where I felt I belonged."

  "That's good. Right now you need a place like that. A sanctuary of sorts. So how did this morning go with London?"

  "It went fine. We talked for a little bit and it was nice to actually get to know a part of him that I never knew was there."

  "That's good that you two are connecting on a deeper level. I think you need more people in your life that you can depend on."

  "I do too. It's nice having someone around that I can talk to. I feel less, alone. Mr. Rollins, do you know much about London's parents?"

  "No. You know, London is also quite reserved. He doesn't like to talk much about his personal life, but once when I asked about his father, he seemed to get rather enraged. He never acted on it, I could just tell by his response that he and his father don't get along well."

  "I see. Oka
y then I guess I'll steer clear of that subject." We both exchanged a small laugh before Mr. Rollins was delving right back into my life.

  "Riley, what happened, specifically, that made you want to take your life that night?"

  This was the question I never wanted to have to answer, but I'm pretty sure I didn't have a choice. "That day I was out running errands before heading into work. Everything had been going okay; I was actually having a really good day. When I got to the drugstore to pick up a prescription, I ran into Gavin. I'm almost positive he didn't know it was me, but I could never forget that face. He was with his wife and he now had two kids of his own. I couldn't help but wonder the entire time if he had been doing the same thing to his girls. I never pressed charges. I basically just let it go when I left their house and never looked back. I ended up in a really nice family after that and I stayed there until I was eighteen and could take care of myself."

  "Do you blame yourself for him having a family and not knowing how he treats his kids?"

  "Everyday. I watched them the entire time I was at the drugstore. I must've looked insane to anyone who noticed what I was doing. He was very loving with his girls, and I couldn't help but notice just how affectionate he was with the youngest. She couldn't have been any older than six or seven. Suddenly I became consumed with guilt. I thought back to all the times he had done those horrible things to me, and I knew he was most likely doing the same to her or both of them. When I left, I called into work. I just couldn't imagine being around people while I was feeling that way. That's when I decided to go to the cliff where my father had taken me. I sat there all day, just listening to the ocean beneath me. I tried to picture myself being happy and being able to enjoy my life, but then I saw his daughter's face again and I knew what needed to be done. I needed to rid myself of the guilt and I could only think of one way to do that."

  "So you jumped?"

  I nodded in his direction. "Riley, do you still feel that guilt?"

  "I don't think so. I think I've come to terms with the fact that I can't go back and change the past, but I do wonder about his daughters everyday."

  "Riley, I have an idea. Just hear me out before you say no. There's this gala in about two weeks for abused children. They are looking for people like you, who have survived abuse, to speak about what has happened. Now before you say no, just think about it. This could be the exact thing that helps with the guilt you still feel. Telling your story and getting it out there, may help some women who still are unable to come to terms with their own abuse. I think it would be greatly beneficial to you and your outlook on your new life. What do you think?"