Faithless

by Amanda Bennett

  I held my hands clasped in my lap and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't look at Mr. Rollins. I understood what he was saying, but I just wasn't sure I was at that point in my life just yet. I was fine facing my demons with him, but with an entire room of people, well that was a whole other story. "I'll think about it."

  "That's all I ask. Well, looks like that's our time for today. Try to have a nice relaxing weekend, and I'll see you again on Monday. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call."

  "Thank you, Mr. Rollins. I'll see you Monday."

  While walking to my car, it suddenly dawned on me just how much of an influence my story could have on other women who have thought about suicide. I had the potential to save a life, and I wasn't willing to give that up because of my own insecurities. I decided to wait and talk to London about it when I got home and see what his take on all of this was.

  I pulled into the driveway about a half an hour later and was surprised to see London outside, pulling weeds of all things. I gathered my purse and made my way over to the side of the yard where he was.

  "What are you doing out here?" I laughed.

  "I was going stir crazy. I had to do something."

  "Well, you want to come hang out on the beach with me for a bit?"

  "Yeah, let me just wash my hands and then I'll meet you out there."

  I shook my head at the thought of London actually doing yard work as made my way through the side gate. The beach had a few more people on it then yesterday, but I grabbed two chairs and made my way out by the water. A few minutes later, London was joining me and he had brought two glasses of wine. Ah, he was my savior. I have never been a big drinker, but wine was definitely a must today.

  He handed me my glass and took the seat next to me. "Thanks, you read my mind."

  London smiled and took a very awkward sip from his glass. It was crazy watching him trying to eat or drink when his mouth could barely open. I glanced out at the ocean, secretly looking for Tristan. Now that I knew he lived so close, I was always on the lookout for him when I was outside.

  "How was your session today?"

  "It was good, actually. Mr. Rollins wants me to attend this gala thing for abused children. He wants me to get up and talk about my story." I watched London's face trying to look for any reaction, but it was very complacent. "He seems to think I can make a difference somehow. I just don't know. I told him I would think about it. What do you think?" I took a sip from my glass as I waited for his opinion.

  "I guess it could help. I don't know your entire story, but if he seems to think it'll help, then maybe it will."

  "That's all you've got for me? Helpful as always, London." I laughed.

  "Well, I don't know. You could always go and see what it's all about before you decide to speak."

  "Would you go with me?"

  London practically choked on his wine when I asked. "Why me?"

  "I need someone there who can support me and not judge me. The only way I'll go is if you go."

  "Will Mr. Rollins be there?"

  I was a little confused as to why that would matter, but I answered him anyway. "Yeah, he's one of the key speakers."

  "Okay, yeah I'll go with you."

  "Really?" I squealed. "Oh my god, London that means so much to me." I stood up and practically ran into his lap. I sat on him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I whispered against his neck where my head was resting.

  "You're very welcome, Riley."

  "Oh, and you have to wear a tux." I quickly jumped out of his lap and darted for the house, laughing the entire way.

  London caught up with me a few minutes later and practically tackled me to the couch. "You should've told me that part first. My answer would probably have been different."

  "And that's precisely why I didn't you." London's face was mere inches from mine. I could feel my heart practically pounding out of my chest and there was definitely something between us. I could feel it just by looking at the way he was looking at me. His face moved a little bit closer to mine and I let my eyes flutter shut. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to kiss me, but I was open to the possibility right now. When I opened my eyes seconds later, London's body language had changed entirely. He moved off of me and sat on the opposite end of the couch.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah, I'm sorry. I never should've let that happen."

  "Nothing happened, London. It's okay. I swear."

  "Okay."

  The vibe in the room had quickly gone from fun and flirty to somber and uncomfortable. "Hey, so what do you want to do for dinner?" I playfully slapped his thigh and you would've thought I just punched him, by how quickly he jumped off of the couch.

  "I don't care. Whatever can go in a blender." He chuckled.

  "London, can we talk for a minute?"

  "Sure. What's up?"

  "I actually wanted to get to know you a little bit better. Tell me about your family." I swear the room just froze over. He was giving me a death glare and I was suddenly wishing I hadn't said anything at all.

  "There's not much to tell. My father was a bastard that cheated on my mom and left us without saying good-bye."

  "I'm sorry, London. I didn't mean to pry."

  "It's okay, Riley. You didn't know."

  He made his way back over to the couch to sit next to me. I placed my hand on his and gave it a small squeeze. "You can trust me London. I would never tell your secrets or ever judge you. That's just not who I am."

  "I know, Riley. It's a complicated story really. My dad was an amazing father, until I turned fifteen. He started cheating on my mom with his much younger secretary. When my mom found out, she threatened to leave him and take me with and well...he pretty much lost it. He became physically and mentally abusive and then six months later, he killed my mother."

  I let out an audible gasp and quickly covered my mouth trying not to look too shocked. "Oh my god, London. I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

  "Nobody does."

  "What happened? I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable talking about it."

  "That's the thing, Riley. I always feel so comfortable around you. You're the only person I feel like I can tell anything to."

  "I'm glad." London's hand wrapped around mine as he started to continue to tell me his story.

  "I called the cops. My father didn't know I was there, let alone witnessed the entire thing. When the cops showed up, I came out of my room and walked right past my father. They arrested him, took my statement and then took me to stay at my aunt's house that night. Within forty-eight hours, my father was released and coming after me. He had gotten off because of the people he knew and he knew I was his one loose end. I went into witness protection shortly after that with my aunt and now here I am."

  I was in shock. Complete and utter shock. I was at a loss for words and I wasn't even sure how to comfort him. I climbed into his lap just as I had outside on the beach and hugged him tightly. I didn't want to let go. I needed him to know that I was here for him, no matter what he told me.

  "Is your father still, around?"

  "Last I heard he was still living in California."

  "So, is London not your real name?"

  He let out a strangled laugh, "No, it's my real name. I came out of witness protection about three years ago. If he wants to come after me, I'm ready."

  I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Looking at London, I never would've thought anything bad had ever happened to him. He had it all so put together. I envied him for what he had done with his life given the circumstances he had grown up in. He was a lot stronger than I was. Although I wasn't one to judge somebody else, I almost felt as though London was holding something back, something important. I looked up at him and wondered how he could talk about something so horrible with barely any emotion in his voice. When he looked down at me, I slowly moved my lips over his. It wasn't a long passionate kiss, but it was something, and I could feel hi
s hardened exterior soften when our lips touched.

  There was suddenly a knock on the front door and I jumped out of his lap and practically ran to get it. I cursed myself for doing so the minute I saw who stood on the other side. I pulled back the door, with a scowl on my face.

  "Can I help you, Nancy?

  "Oh hi there, Riley. I just wanted to come by and check on you. You know, see how you're settling in and all that jazz."

  "I'm settling in fine, thanks. Well now that you've checked on me, I guess I'll see you later." I went to close the door, but her perfectly manicured hand flew up preventing me from doing so. "Was there something else?" I growled.

  "Actually, I had a quick question for you." This should be good. "Do you happen to know Tr-" Her sentence trailed off and I looked behind me to see what had caught her attention. Of course it was London, who was able to shut her up.

  "Well hello there. I'm Nancy, it's nice to meet you." She extended her hand out not to shake his, but for him to kiss hers. She really was a snotty little princess.

  "Hi, I'm London?" He lightly shook her hand, and then dropped it in absolute confusion.

  "Oh my gosh, what happened to you?"

  "A little scuffle gone wrong."

  "I should say so. You look like you're in pain."

  "Nope, not at all. Are you a friend of Riley's?"

  I quickly glanced between Nancy and London and answered for him. "Um, no she most definitely is not my friend. She was my mother's lawyer."

  "Sorry." He whispered in my ear. This caught her attention and now she had the scowl and I was wearing the smile.

  "Well it looks like you two are busy, so I'll be on my way. See you soon London."

  "I hope not." He said under his breath and I let out a small giggle. "See you later, Nancy." I slammed the door quite a bit harder than necessary, but I wanted her to get the point that she was no longer welcome here.

  London and I made our way into the kitchen to figure out dinner, when my cell phone started ringing. Nobody had my number except for the hospital and Mr. Rollins, so I quickly ran to grab it off of the couch.

  "Hello?"

  "Hi, Riley."

  "Tristan?"

  "Yeah, sorry I got your number from Tony at the hospital. I hope that's okay?"

  "I guess so." I quietly told London I would be right back and went out to the deck to finish my phone call. "Tristan, why are you calling me?"

  "I just wanted to talk to you. It's been hard not seeing you everyday or talking to you. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay." I could hear the sincerity in his voice, but it still didn't change the fact that I was helping the very guy whom he had hurt.

  "I'm actually doing great, Tristan. I'm even going to a gala in a couple of weeks for abused children. I've been asked to be one of the speakers actually." I don't know why I said it. Maybe I was just trying to make him hurt like he had hurt me. I wanted him to know that I could be okay without him.

  "That's amazing, Riley. I'm so happy for you. And how is London doing?"

  "Do you really care?"

  "Of course I do. I said I was sorry Riley, and I meant it."

  "I know you did. He's doing fine. Thanks for asking."

  "Alright, well I have to go for now. Remember, you can call if you ever need anything. Anything at all."

  "I know, Tristan. Thank you."

  "I'll talk to you soon, Riley."

  "Good-bye, Tristan."

  I hung up the phone and went back to tend to London. We eventually decided on macaroni and cheese for dinner, his blended of course. After dinner, we snuggled up on the couch and watched a movie. Within twenty minutes, London was passed out and I was officially bored. I glanced at the clock on the wall and blew out a big breath realizing it was only eight thirty at night. I moved myself off of the couch, covered London with a blanket and then grabbed one for myself as I headed out to the beach.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Tristan

  The minute Riley told me about the gala, I ran back into the condo in search of my sister. She was sitting on the couch like usual, and I went running over to her, practically knocking her over.

  "So I'm going to guess the conversation went well?"

  "She's going to the gala. She's going, Grace. This is the perfect chance for me to get her alone and talk to her, to win her back."

  "I agree. There's just one little thing you're forgetting."

  "What?"

  "Now you have to call dear old mom and see if she can get you in. And don't forget, you have to sit and chat with her." Grace started laughing hysterically.

  "Not funny, Grace. Keep laughing and I'll tell dear old mom that you're here."

  She immediately went serious, "You wouldn't?"

  "Oh, but I would baby sister. Now shush so I can make a call."

  Grace sat with her arms crossed over her chest pouting, and I couldn't help but laugh at how big of a baby she was being. "Hello?"

  "Hi Mom, it's Tristan."

  "Well how did I get so lucky, huh? Twice in two days. Everything okay?"

  "Yeah. I was actually wondering, I wanted to know if the offer to go to your gala thingy was still open?"

  "Of course it is. Oh Tristan, that's wonderful that you're coming. I can't wait to see you. Oh and don't forget, it's black tie."

  Add that to the list of reasons I didn't want to go. "Okay, sounds good. When is it and what is the address?"

  "It's on the twenty fourth. I'll email you the address. Oh I can't wait. Talk to you soon, son."

  "Bye Mom."

  "So...when is the big day?" Grace chimed in.

  "Ha ha very funny. It's in a week. Oh and it's black tie."

  "Nice! Looks like we will be going shopping." Grace clapped her hands and jumped off of the couch.

  "Where are you going?"

  "We are going shopping. Come on, we have a tux to buy."

  "Grace it's eight thirty at night, there are no tux shops open right now. We will go tomorrow morning before I go to work, okay?"

  "Fine."

  "I'm going to head out to the beach and get some air."

  "You mean check on Riley?"

  "Maybe. I'll be back in a little bit." I left my sister sitting on the couch as I walked out onto the sand. I started making my way down the beach, in the direction of Riley's place, not expecting to see her, but I got lucky when I noticed a dark shadow sitting in a lounge chair right by the water. I wasn't sure if she would speak to me, but I took my chances.

  I made my way over to her slowly and quietly as not to frighten her. When I was close enough to know it was definitely her, I cleared my throat to let my presence be known. "Hi Riley."

  "Tristan. What are you doing here?"

  "Well, I was actually just taking a walk and I saw you sitting out here. I guess I figured I would try my luck and see if you wanted to talk for a bit."

  "Um, sure. You want to sit?" She pointed at the chair next to her. I didn't hesitate to take the seat before she changed her mind.

  "So what are you doing out here?"

  "I was bored. London fell asleep and I had nothing else to do. Thought I would come out here and try to relax, or think, I don't know."

  "I see. You feel like talking about it?"

  "Actually...Tristan I have to tell you something."

  "You can tell me anything, Riley. You know that." When her amazingly blue eyes met mine, all reason and thought went right out the window. I was finding it hard to concentrate on her words, but I needed to know what it was she needed to tell me.

  "I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. I guess I just needed you to know that."

  My heart began to race. "I miss you too. Riley, I want us to be friends. I want us to be able to talk to each other without worrying that we might scare the other off. I want to be one hundred percent honest with you all the time, no matter the consequences."

  "I agree. I need you in my life, Tristan. If friends is all I can have, then I'll take it."

&n
bsp; Damn it. That's not what I meant. It was too late to take it back now, but I guess if her friendship would keep her in my life for good, then I was willing to take that as well. "So are you excited about the gala you're going to?"

  "I am actually. I wasn't at first, but I guess I just feel like I can make a difference. I want to try and help someone deal with their abuse, and if sharing my story helps at least one person with that, then I guess it'll all be worth it."

  "I think so too. I'm excited for you."

  "Thanks, Tristan. I'm glad you ran into me, and I'm glad we talked. I feel better about where we are now."

  "Me too. Well, I'm going to head home and let you relax. I'll talk to you soon though." Disappointment was written all over her face, but I didn't want to push my luck with her. It was going to take time for her to fully trust me again, and I needed her to trust me.

  "Oh, okay. Well, have a good night."

  "You too, Riley. Sweet dreams."

  I turned around at least three times on my walk back, just to see if she had turned to look at me. When I turned the last time, I caught her staring at me with a giant smile swept across her face. At least I could sleep well knowing that I still had an affect on her.

  When I got back to my condo, my sister was passed out on the couch. I tucked a blanket around her and headed to bed myself. For whatever reason, I was suddenly extremely exhausted and I knew come tomorrow morning, I was going to be thankful that I had some rest.

  The next week and a half flew by with minimal run-ins with Riley, which left me disappointed and pining for her. It wasn't for a lack of trying though. I went surfing practically all day every day, just to try and catch a glimpse of her. The few times I had been out running past her place, she had come out to say a quick hello. I asked how London was, just so I appeared to be the nice and caring guy she had once fallen for, but it didn't seem to be working. I wasn't sure if maybe she had really moved on, or if she was just having a hard time seeing me.