"Then I guess I'll have to try really hard to get there. Thank you for being honest with me, for treating me with respect."
"You're more than welcome." She blew out a breath, feeling like she'd gotten the worst behind her. "I can come back this afternoon if Dr. Clarke discharges you. I can take you to my apartment. You can stay there as long as you want."
"You only have one bedroom."
"I'll sleep on the couch; it's not a big deal."
"No. I'm going home. To my house."
"It will only be your house for a year, Mom. The trust specifies after that time, it has to be sold."
"Then I have a year. I'm going to take it. That will give me time to figure out where I want to be and what I want to do." She paused. "I wonder who will get Victoria's job."
"I have no idea."
"Well, I'll find out soon enough. Hopefully it will be someone I like. Because I enjoy that job. And maybe I'm being overconfident about my ability to walk back into that building after what happened, but I'm going to try. I can't keep running away inside my head, because, frankly, that's an even scarier place to be at times."
She was blown away by how rational her mother was being. She could hardly believe this was the same woman she had brought in five days earlier. "You really are doing so well, Mom. I'm proud of you."
"I'm proud of me, too. Now, tell me what's happening with that very attractive FBI agent?"
"Oh, that's a story for another day," she said with a sigh.
"Or we could all just spend some time together, so I can get to know him, and he can get to know me when I'm not hysterical."
"I'm not planning to spend any more time with him."
"Why not? Don't tell me you're going to push him away like you've done with everyone else?"
"I haven't done that with everyone else."
"Of course, you have. You never allow yourself to get too close to a man. When things get serious, you run away. I'm sure I'm partly to blame for your lack of commitment. But I can't change that—only you can."
"I can commit. I've been in the same job for five years."
"Because it gives you the security to take care of me."
"That's not the only reason."
"And you haven't introduced me to a boyfriend in almost two years. You always say you haven't met the right man, but I think you hold back because you just don't have it in you to take care of anyone else. I'm already too big of a burden. And, by the way, I told Dr. Clarke that, and he could see my point."
"You and Dr. Clarke have been talking about me?"
"Yes, about our relationship—how you became the mom, and I became the daughter. But that has to switch back. You have to live your life."
"Well, maybe there's some truth to what you say, but Flynn and I aren't a couple. It was just a fling in a whirlwind of adrenaline and danger. Now we go back to our real lives, and they don't sync up. Anyway, that's enough of that." She got to her feet. "I'll check in with you later."
"Okay. But Callie…"
She paused at the door. "What?"
"Love is a wonderful thing, no matter how long it lasts. Don't turn your back on it."
Her mother's words rang through her head all the way back to her car. She sat in the driver's seat for a long few minutes, thinking not only about how wise and self-aware her mother had suddenly become but also about Flynn.
Had she been a coward to leave without a good-bye? Last night had been so incredibly amazing. She'd never felt so happy.
But Flynn didn't love her. And she didn't love him. It was just sex—fabulous, over-the-top, break-your-heart kind of sex.
Tears pooled in her eyes. She was a terrible liar. She was mad about Flynn, which was why she hadn't said good-bye. Because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to get the word out. And maybe she hadn't wanted to hear him say good-bye, either.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Three days had passed since he'd seen Callie, and it felt like a lifetime. Flynn paddled through the ocean on Sunday morning, wondering how he would get through another twenty-four hours. He'd kept busy wrapping up Arthur's case, but most of that was done. Come tomorrow, it would be time to move on to something new. He was more than ready to do that, but he wasn't ready to face the fact that Callie was no longer in his life.
He'd picked up the phone to text her or call her a bunch of times. But he kept coming back to the fact that she hadn't said good-bye, that she hadn't reached out to him. She'd just disappeared, like so many other people in his life.
Frowning at that reminder, he concentrated on picking a wave, on letting the ocean chase away his pain. It felt good to get up on the surfboard, to battle the sea, to ride to victory, but he still couldn't shake the melancholy that had settled over his soul.
He paddled out to the break, keeping his distance from the other surfers as he waited for his next run. But the ocean had settled down. The waves not coming as fast or as big. The wind had died, too. It was almost eerily calm.
He sat on his board, dragging his hand through the water as another surfer came toward him. There was something familiar about him, but it wasn't until he was five feet away that he realized it was his father. He was truly stunned.
"I thought you'd be back in Europe by now." His gaze moved to his dad's injured arm, but it was covered by the sleeve of his wetsuit.
"I wanted to see you one more time."
"How did you know I'd be here?"
"Because it's where you come on Sunday mornings, unless a woman keeps you occupied elsewhere. But it seems like you've lost your woman."
He gave his father a dark look. "Have you been following me again?"
"I like to keep an eye on you."
"You almost got me fired."
"Almost?"
"No one wanted to come down on me too hard since I'd just brought them not only Arthur's killer but a serial killer," he admitted.
"I was hoping that was the way it would play out."
"What are you really doing here?"
His dad gave him a long look. "I don't know. I should have left. I told myself to go a dozen times. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was. I'm not sure I ever said that. I tried to explain myself. I tried to make you understand. But I don't think I actually apologized."
"Sorry doesn't mean anything."
"I figured it wouldn’t, but I had to say it at least once. Will you tell your mother you saw me?"
"She's happy now, Dad. She has moved on. I don't think she needs to know any more than she already does." The more he'd thought about his dad's publishing company scheme, the more he'd come to think that his mom had known his dad was behind it all along. Maybe he'd ask her one day, or perhaps he wouldn't. He didn't need to screw up her life by bringing up the past.
"You're a fine man, Flynn. That's not due to me, but I want you to know I'm proud of you."
"I don't care," he said automatically.
His father nodded. "All right. I just have one more thing to say."
"Somehow, I doubt that," he said dryly.
His father smiled, and in that moment, the years in-between, the anger and the pain, faded away. He was with his dad again, someone he'd looked up to, the person who'd first brought him to the ocean and taught him how to surf.
"We had some good times when you were young, especially out here," his father said, obviously going down the same memory lane.
"It felt like it was just the two of us," he murmured. "It was our thing."
"Every time I go into the water, wherever I am in the world, I think about you, Flynn. I hope you can have a happy life, a better life than I ever had. I hope you won't hide yourself from love, from people who could hurt you if you open your heart up to them. That would be my worst legacy to you."
"I'll live my life on my own terms. I won't make my choices because of anything you did."
"Good. One last ride together?"
He should have said no, but when his father started paddling, so did he. They stood up on their boar
ds within seconds of each other and rode the wave all the way into the shore.
When he hit the ground, he jogged out of the water, with his surfboard under his arm.
And this time, he was the one who didn't look back.
Sunday night, Flynn drove to Callie's apartment a little past eight. He felt more nervous than he'd ever felt in his life. He could face down a bullet or a bomb. He could freefall from a skyscraper. He could jump out of a plane. But facing love…that was absolutely terrifying.
Callie's car was in her garage, and her lights were on. That was a good sign. He knew Juliette had been discharged from the hospital and had gone home a few days ago. Savannah had stopped by to speak to her and had reported that she was doing very well, and that Arthur's funeral was scheduled for next Tuesday. He probably should have waited until after that to speak to Callie, but after talking to his dad, he'd wondered if he was waiting because he had a good reason or because he was a coward.
After his father had left, after Olivia had died, he'd never allowed himself to deal in the word love. He'd lusted after women. He'd liked and respected previous girlfriends. He'd felt fondness and affection. He'd cared about them. But using the word love had not been part of his vocabulary. He'd never let himself go there, until Callie.
They might not have spoken of love, but they'd definitely shared it. They'd opened themselves up to each other in every possible way. They'd been honest. They'd been vulnerable. They'd trusted each other, even when they had no reason to.
She was the one. And he was damned if he was going to be too afraid to accept that, to act on it. He'd lived his life being fearless with everything but love. Now he was going to walk up to the edge of that cliff, and he'd either survive, or it would be a hell of a ride on the way down. But he wouldn't regret what he hadn't done.
Striding up to her door, he punched her buzzer with an impatient hand.
Her voice came over the speaker. "Hello?" she asked on a wary note.
"It's Flynn. Can I come up?"
She hesitated. "All right." She hit the buzzer.
He moved into the building before she had a chance to change her mind. He jogged up the stairs, and when he got to her door, she was waiting for him. She was dressed for a night at home, lounging leggings and a fuzzy, soft purple sweatshirt. Her brown hair fell loose about her shoulders. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes sparkling, her lips slightly parted, and he wanted so much to kiss her. But first…
He handed her the bouquet of red roses he'd picked up on his way over.
"This is probably cheesy," he said. "But what the hell. I'm going all in."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I don't want this to end, Callie."
"You haven't called me in days."
"And you didn't say good-bye after the incredible night we had together."
"I wasn't sure I could," she admitted. "But I knew I should. What we had was fueled by adrenaline, danger, and passion. It wasn't real life. I'm actually pretty boring in real life."
"There's no way that's true."
"It is true. I work a lot."
"So do I."
"I just feed people. I don't solve crimes or save the world."
"Who cares about our jobs?"
"I have my mom, who can sometimes be a full-time job."
"I have people I care about, too. None of that matters. We go together, Callie." He put his arms around her, crushing the flowers between them. He pushed her back into her apartment, kicking the door shut.
"Ow," she yelped. "These roses have thorns."
"Sorry," he said with a laugh, taking the bouquet out of her hands and tossing it onto the couch. "We'll get to those later." He lowered his head and took the kiss he'd been hungering for.
She kissed him back for a long minute, then broke away with a breathless smile. "This is crazy, Flynn."
"Isn't that what love is?"
Her gaze darkened. "You're going there? You're using the L word?"
"I'm already there, babe."
"It's so fast. How can we fall in love in a week?"
"I don't know, but it happened. Can you tell me I'm wrong?"
"I don't want to tell you that. I want to believe it. But I'm scared. I usually push people away long before I feel like this."
He smiled into her eyes. "So do I. And maybe that's why I didn’t call you."
"And maybe that's why I didn't say good-bye."
Her eyes grew a little misty, and his heart squeezed tight with emotion. "We can be scared together," he said.
"You're not afraid of anything, Flynn."
"I wish that were true, but I've kept my heart under wraps for a long time. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to screw up the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't care if it's fast or it's crazy; I just know it's right. We can slow down. We can try to be rational, but we're going to get to the same place. I know it. I have no doubts." He realized how true his words were as he finally said them out loud.
"You're being so sweet. You're going to make me cry."
"I want to make you happy. I want to take some of the weight off your shoulders. You will never have to choose between your mother and me. I'll be right there with you, whatever happens, whatever you need."
"It can be a lot, Flynn. She's doing great now, but who knows how long that will last? She might have to live with me."
"Then she can live with us. I know better than anyone how important family is. I respect your fight, your loyalty. You have a tremendously big heart, Callie Harper, and if you're willing to give me even a piece of it, I would be forever happy."
"Oh, my God, that's the most incredible thing anyone has ever said to me."
"I meant every word. I want to be the person in your life you can count on, the one who'll hold you up when you feel like you can't stand. I want to share everything, the good, the bad, and the boring."
She gave him a sweet smile. "I want that, too, Flynn. I love the way you protect me, fight for me, stand by me. I also love the way you take care of your friends, how your team is your family. And I love that you could forgive your father enough to save my life."
"Forgive might be a big word, but I've let go of some of my anger toward him. I believe I can finally move on in my life."
"Will your dad go free? Did you get into trouble? I've been wanting to ask you so many things."
"I'll fill you in on everything. Bottom line, my dad is still a free man and the bureau is happy that we solved several murders, including Arthur's, so we're good."
"I'm so glad you didn't have to lose your job for him. That would have been too much."
"No. Because he helped me save you, and that's the only thing that mattered then and now."
"Do you really think we can make this work, Flynn?"
He smiled. "We are two of the most stubborn and determined people I know."
"Well, that's true," she said with a laugh.
"Then I have something important to ask you."
"What's that?" she asked, a breathless note in her voice.
"Will you go on a date with me?"
Her eyes filled with happiness. "I will. But not tonight. Tonight, I just want to be with you and only you."
"That sounds perfect," he said, feeling an overwhelming rush of love. "Can we start now?"
She tightened her arms around his neck and looked deep into his eyes. "I think we've already started."
"I agree. Let's keep it going."
"Forever," she murmured. "I've always been afraid of that word, but now I like it."
"I like it, too, as long as forever includes you."
# # #
COMING SOON…
Want more thrilling romantic suspense? Savannah’s story is up next in CRITICAL DOUBT!
* * *
Preorder CRITICAL DOUBT
Release Date: February 11, 2020
* * *
Have you read my romantic suspense trilogy: LIGHTNING STRIKES? If not, continue reading for an
excerpt from BEAUTIFUL STORM.
BEAUTIFUL STORM - EXCERPT
One
The clouds had been blowing in off the ocean for the last hour, an ominous foreboding of the late September storm moving up the Miami coast. It was just past five o'clock in the afternoon, but the sky was dark as night.
Alicia Monroe drove across Florida's Rickenbacker Causeway toward Virginia Key Park, located on the island of Key Biscayne. Most of the traffic moved in the opposite direction as the island had a tendency to flood during fierce storms. According to the National Weather Service, the storm would bring at least six inches of rain plus high winds, thunder and lightning.
Alicia pressed her foot down harder on the gas. As her tires skidded on the already damp pavement, a voice inside her head told her to slow down, that a picture wasn't worth her life, but the adrenaline charging through her body made slowing down impossible.
She'd been obsessed with electrical storms all her life. She'd grown up hearing her Mayan great-grandmother speak of lightning gods. Her father had also told her tales about the incredible blue balls of fire and red flaming sprites he'd witnessed while flying for the Navy and later as a civilian pilot.
Their stories had enthralled her, but they'd been an embarrassment to the rest of the family, especially when her father had begun to tell his stories outside the family. Neither her mother nor her siblings had appreciated the fact that a former Navy hero was now being referred to as Lightning Man.
A wave of pain ran through her at the memories of her father and the foolish nickname that had foreshadowed her dad's tragic death years later in a fierce electrical storm.
She'd been sixteen years old when he'd taken his last flight. It was supposed to be a typical charter run to drop a hunting party in the mountains and then return home, but after dropping the men at their destination, her father's plane had run into a massive storm. When the rain stopped and the sun came back out, there was no sign of her father or his plane. He'd quite simply disappeared somewhere over the Gulf of Mexico.
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