With my newfound bravery, I walk into the apartment, my head held high, and I make that motherfucker dinner.
I’m not a chef, by any means. The few classes that I took online being all I really know, I can make do. That’s exactly what I do tonight. I make tacos, guacamole, and chips. Then I keep the beers coming to Valerius.
After about the sixth beer, he’s no longer pissed off at me or anyone else. In fact, he’s tolerable. He reminds me much of the Valerius that was my guard and I’m lulled into a sense of security for just a moment.
When I bring him his seventh, he doesn’t know that I’ve dissolved a few sleeping aids inside. I wish that I had something stronger, something that would end him as my problem for good. But then again, I don’t know that I could really kill someone. The guilt would probably consume me in seconds and last a lifetime.
I mean, I’m pretty positive Gavino ended my Aunt Irene. I know Courtney is dead, and so are Miguel and Juarez, whoever they were. Because I highly doubt they were who they said they were. Not after everything that went down at that warehouse. But me actually doing it? No way, I couldn’t live with myself.
I don’t know what is the truth or what to believe anymore. I never knew Miguel, never even knew his first name, so I’ve already decided that this baby was an immaculate conception. It will never know about the events that led up to or shortly after it was conceived.
Nobody else needs to know anything. It’s done and over and as soon as this fucker is passed out—I am gone. Three men in and out of my life in just a few months. I sure do know how to pick them, apparently.
It doesn’t take long for my plan to start taking flight. Valerius is snoozing a few minutes after he’s finished that seventh beer. I bang and clang around the apartment, making tons of noise, keeping one eye on him the entire time, and he doesn’t even flinch.
Taking a bag out, I pack what I can and grab what little cash I have on hand. I don’t have much and I won’t be able to get any more at this point, so I’m going to have to get creative.
I know that I can’t go to Pippa, that will be the first place he looks. I can’t put Pippa and my nieces and nephews in danger that way. And as much as I know that Massimo can protect them, I can’t put him in danger either.
Salvatore will be the second. I don’t have any other friends that aren’t famiglia that I could go to right now. Courtney had ended up being my closest friend by the time I graduated from college, and now I realize what she did. The manipulative bitch isolated me.
So, with zero plans, I leave my apartment. I’m virtually penniless. I have a few clothes thrown into the bag, and I don’t have a phone. But I leave, anyway. There is no safety net this time. Not really, anyway.
There is nobody to catch me when I fall, at least not in New York. There is one more person I can count on, one more family member that I can run to for help, and I just hope that they welcome me, at least so that I can get my feet on the ground.
The famiglia was my safety net and I’ve just fucked that all up, so I leave with nothing and no plan. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. But staying would have been dumber, staying and hoping to be saved in time.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
SALVATORE
I’m not sure if she’s brave or stupid. I think the words at the same time Massimo says them aloud. Renzo snorts next to us as we watch Rosana leave her apartment. She’s practically running down the sidewalk, her destination unknown, at least to me. Valerius is sitting on the couch, not moving.
“Do you think she killed him?” Massimo mutters.
We’re all on the rooftop, have been since I left her apartment a few hours ago. If she thought that I was going to leave her and not have an eye on her until I fixed this shit, she thought absolutely wrong. And judging by the way she’s booking it down the street and out of sight, that’s exactly what she thought.
“No, he’s breathing, but it’s shallow. I think she drugged him,” Renzo mutters, his eye looking into his scope.
“Fuck, she’s smart,” Massimo grumbles.
“She’s stupid too. Where is she going? I told her I would come for her,” I grind out.
“Do you not know who she is? C’mon Sal, you’re smarter than that, aren’t you? Rosana is a lot of things, but patient is not one of them. She’s not going to sit around and wait for someone to get their shit together, not when he’s made it clear he doesn’t want her.”
Grinding my teeth together, I refuse to speak for a moment, knowing that I’m going to say something that I may regret. Rosana needed to keep her ass right where I told her to. It doesn’t matter though, what’s done is done and now I have to figure out how to fix the mess that I made.
There is a moment of silence, and I curse Gavino for taking more family time than usual. He hasn’t returned my call, so I can’t tell Renzo to end this fuck right here and now.
I know Gavino needs the time with his family. I know that this whole near-death shit really fucked him up and he needs his people around him. But this is kind of a big fucking deal and he’s the only one who can give the official go-ahead.
“She can’t go far,” Massimo says. “I had Pippa freeze her bank accounts. I was afraid the jackass would try to take her money, or that she would get a wild hair.”
“Bellarosa,” I breathe. Turning to look at Massimo, I know my eyes look wild as fuck. “That’s the only place she could go, where he wouldn’t dare look for her, or probably even know existed as a safe place.”
Shifting my gaze back to her form walking down the street, my breath hitches when I watch her hail a cab and sink inside of the back seat. Fuck. I waited too goddamn long.
Fuck me.
Fuck.
“End him, now,” I demand.
Renzo snorts. “Sorry, cugino. Though I’m certain Gavino will give the green light, I can’t pull the trigger until he does.”
He’s right. I’m just going off of emotions right now. I want my woman. I want her in my arms. I want to apologize for being a fucking cocksucker. I want everything to go back to the way it was where we were building something beautiful together.
And I want it goddamn now.
Taking my phone out of my pocket, I call Gavino again, and he picks up on the second ring instead of letting it go to voice mail.
“The fuck?” he barks. “I’m eating dinner.”
I don’t ask any questions, I get right to the point.
“Valerius has been keeping Rosana under lock and key. I haven’t been able to get much out of her, but enough to know that she doesn’t want him at her place. She just drugged him with something and took off in a cab.”
“Fuck,” Gavino groans.
“I got Renzo, end this?”
I’m asking, but only as a form of respect. If it were up to me, the fuck would be dead. Would have been dead minutes after Massimo came to my office to tell me about the whole situation. About him moving his ass into my wife’s place. Even though I thought she wanted him there, I still would have killed him with no hesitation.
“Warehouse is up and running, yeah?” Gavino asks.
I know what he’s going to say, and I don’t want him to. He wants me to take him there, keep him alive, question him, and figure everything out. I know enough to know that I don’t give a fuck anymore.
Kill first, ask questions later, handle business. That’s all I want to do anymore. Fuck this talking bullshit. It doesn’t work.
“It is,” I say through gritted teeth.
He chuckles, obviously knowing I’m annoyed as fuck. “Bring him in. I got my cleanup crew in the city busy tonight. Don’t want a mess.”
“Your permission to end him when he’s at the warehouse?” I ask.
He chuckles. “Granted, cugino. You bringing your wife home?”
“As soon as I find her.”
His roar of laughter booms through the phone. Obviously, this is funny as shit to him, but it isn’t to me, not in the goddamn slightest. With a growl, I end the
call. Turning to Renzo, I start to tell him, but he holds up his hand.
“Heard him. Let’s get the fucker out of here before he wakes up and makes us cause a mess and violate the Boss’s orders,” he grumbles.
So that’s what we do. We gather Valerius’ limp body and take him to the Zanetti famiglia warehouse, but we don’t kill him immediately.
Massimo and I both decide that we want to hear him out. We’re curious as fuck as to why he wanted to control Rosana of all people. Did he just have a hard-on for her, or was it more?
“Fuck you,” Valerius grinds out as soon as he gains consciousness.
He’s hanging from a hook in the middle of the warehouse. The same place Courtney died, coincidently.
“Why Rosana?” I bark.
He doesn’t say anything and I’m in no mood to torture him, so instead, I lift my gun from my side, point it at his knee and pull the trigger once. He screams like a bitch, though I might too if someone shot my knee out.
Tilting my head to the side, I watch him for a moment in silence, then I decide to speak. “You ready to answer me?” I ask.
He whimpers, then his gaze flicks to mine. He’s trembling, shaking, and he moves his head from side to side, but he doesn’t speak.
“Don’t make me shoot the other,” I grunt.
“I loved Courtney. I loved her and I would do anything for her,” he eventually grinds out. “You killed her. Like she was nothing.”
“She was the enemy. She was against the famiglia,” I say.
Valerius shakes his head from side to side. “She was special. The last daughter of Angel Ramos. It was my duty to watch her, to keep her safe. She was mine.”
“You are a traitor,” Massimo states.
“No, I’m not. Not to Ramos.”
It’s then that we realize Valerius infiltrated us. Courtney knew what the fuck was going on, the ins and outs, because of him. We let him into the famiglia. We made him a Made Man. He was always the enemy.
He was always against us.
We discover the truth.
None of it sits right with me, but the look in his eyes tells me that he’s speaking the truth. It all seems too easy, too neat and tidy. I don’t know what else to think, but I’m tired of thinking.
“What was your plan, then? To force Rosana to marry you and then what?”
His lips curve up into a grin and he lets out an ugly as fuck chuckle before he speaks. His eyes find mine and he smirks.
“My plan was to marry her, fuck her, breed her and the whole time it would fuck you up inside and I have no problem fucking you over. You killed Courtney, and this was your lifelong payback.”
So, I end him.
Setting my gun down, I grab a knife from the tray. Lifting my hand, I press the blade against his belly. Leaning forward, I slit him from belly to throat. I watch his insides spill out with morbid curiosity.
“Do you believe all of that shit?” Renzo asks once the fuck stops screaming and bleeding everywhere.
There is a moment of silence between us, and I clear my throat. “Got no choice, but it should be done now, right?”
We don’t say anything, our gazes flicking between us. Then it’s Massimo who speaks. “It’s never done,” he murmurs. “Not fucking ever. This is the life of a Made Man, this is the life of being part of a famiglia. There is always someone, somewhere, trying to take this away from us. Every goddamn step of the way.”
“What do we do next?” I ask.
I’m not a man on the street, I don’t know what happens most of the time, not until it becomes a legal thing, a court date, a hearing. I feel like I’m goddamn worthless. Even covered in Valerius’ blood, I feel completely worthless.
I can’t think about that though, if I do then I’ll be the pussy that Massimo thinks me to be. Fuck that, I’m still Made. Even though I’m not on the streets, even though I do my work for the famiglia best in the courtroom, I am still Made.
It’s probably the stupidest move I’ve ever made for her and myself. I make it anyway. I wash the blood from my body and I head to the airport to get my wife.
I head straight to Arizona.
No way in fuck am I giving Rosana a second to lick her wounds. I fucked up. I’ll admit that to her, and I’ll tell her why. I’m selfish and I can’t protect her, but I’m keeping her. I’m keeping my wife and I’m keeping our baby.
No more back and forth—never again.
Chapter Thirty
ROSANA
I’ve never ridden on a bus before, and I don’t plan on ever doing it again. By the time I reach Arizona, I’m dirty, hungry, and completely over it all. Also, I don’t think I’ve been leered at more in my entire life than on these buses. At this point, I’m just happy to be alive and finally here.
Looking around, I’m not surprised that this is complete desert land, but I am a little shocked that it’s so desolate. I’ve never lived anywhere that wasn’t a city. I’m not used to seeing so much open space. It’s almost unnerving.
Licking my lips, I head toward the single pay phone that is outside against the small bus depot. I don’t have any change and I’m not sure that these things even take change anymore.
I have a feeling that I’ll be lucky to talk to an operator at this point. I’m not even sure if there are any. I don’t think I’ve ever used a pay phone in my entire life.
Picking the phone up, I hold my breath and hope that nothing gross has been near, around, or touched it, especially the earpiece.
Clearing my throat, I push the number zero and I wait. Nothing happens. Hanging up, I look around and wonder how I can get to the Savage Beast clubhouse from here. Can I walk?
“You lost?” a voice rumbles.
Spinning around, I blink at the sight of the man standing in front of me. He’s tall, his hair is too long as is his beard, but he’s handsome. He’s wearing jeans that look like they’re molded to his body and he’s had them for years and washed them about a thousand times. They’re probably really soft to the touch too. He’s also wearing a tight black T-shirt and a leather vest.
“Kind of,” I admit with a shrug as my eyes search his vest.
I see it and I know that this has to be kismet or whatever that is—fate, maybe? “Are you a Savage Beast?” I ask.
“C’mon Rosana, let me take you to your sister.”
My eyes widen and I gasp. He chuckles, reaching out to wrap his hand loosely around my bicep. He gently tugs me behind him as he walks toward a pickup truck. It’s old and busted, but it’s not the scary bus and I have a feeling I would probably die in this heat if I attempted to find my way toward the clubhouse by myself, wherever it is, anyway.
“Wait,” I call out when he takes my bag and tosses it into the bed of the truck. He stops and turns around to look at me, arching a brow. “Where are you taking me?” I ask.
He chuckles. “Isn’t it a little late to be asking questions, little girl?” he murmurs. “But since I’m not about scaring women, I’m taking you to Bellarosa,” he announces. “She’s waiting for you.”
Narrowing my eyes, I look at him, really look at him. “Are you Dragon?” I ask.
He snorts. “Dragon is the president of our club. I’m Mamba,” he introduces, pointing to the nametag patch on his vest. It does read Mamba, just like he claims.
There is a moment of relief, then slight panic. Why the hell did I come all this way alone? What is wrong with me?
I am stupid.
So stupid.
And Mamba, what kind of name is that, anyway? Pressing my lips together, I look from the seat of the truck to him, then back. I know that I need to get inside, but I’m worried. I came all this way and now I’m scared.
“Bellarosa is waiting for you, c’mon now,” he urges gently.
Clearing my throat, I do it. I climb into the pickup and I pinch my eyes closed as I buckle myself in. I don’t know why all of a sudden I’m being a big ass baby, but I am.
I can hear him chuckling as he closes the door,
then I open my eyes when he opens the driver's door and climbs inside. I watch as he buckles his seat belt, and I giggle.
“What’s funny?”
I shrug a shoulder, my lips turned up in a smile. “I didn’t peg you for a safety-first kind of guy,” I say, lifting my hand and pointing to his seat belt.
He smiles as he shifts the truck into reverse. “I am, though. Safety always comes first.”
We drive the rest of the way to Bellarosa in silence, that is until we reach the gates of the clubhouse. I don’t know what I expected, but this rusty gate with a single man standing guard in a little shack is not it.
There is dirt as far as the eye can see, but then when the gate creaks open and we drive forward, there are a few buildings clustered together. I notice motorcycles and a few pickup trucks parked in an area together, but nobody standing around outside.
“This is your place?” I ask, my voice softer, as I’m kind of in awe.
Mamba hums. “It’s the club, yeah.”
“The extra buildings back there?” I ask.
“Some of the men live here with their families.”
Huh. “That’s nice,” I murmur. “How did you know I would be at the bus station?” I ask.
I don’t know why it’s just dawned on me. I suppose I was just so shocked when he was there that I didn’t really think to ask. But I never told Bellarosa I was coming. She wouldn’t have known to send someone. Lifting my hand, I wrap my fingers around my throat and look over to him.
“How did you know?” I rasp.
“Massimo called, warned Dragon you were on your way.”
The truck comes to a stop and I nod my head, but I still don’t understand how Massimo would know. Am I that transparent? I wonder, shaking my head. I climb out of the truck and watch as Mamba takes my suitcase out and starts to walk into the second-largest building.
I follow behind him, wondering what exactly I’m walking into. Feeling as though it’s a bit doomsday-ish, and that feeling consumes me as I walk into the building.
Becoming her Salvation (Zanetti Famiglia Book 7) Page 20
