," she repeated in a husky voice. And then she gathered her woman into her arms.
Kathleen relaxed into the embrace, soaking in the peaceful adoration her warrior emitted. Ye'll never have children, Kath, but p'rhaps God has intended ye somethin' ta make up for it.
Anpo and Nupa stopped to water their ponies at a creek. It had been several days since the young woman's official joining and feast. Wagmiza Wagna's camp was now on the move towards the summer camp. The pair were acting as advance scouts for the rest of their people. So far, things had gone well and there were no dangers to be had. They were now headed back for the night.
The dark woman pulled her pony away from the river and prepared to mount him. "I wish to be to camp by dinner," she said as she settled into the saddle.
Grinning, her friend looked up to her, making no moves towards his own steed. "Is it the way of joining that you cannot be without my hanka's
company for more than a day?"
Instead of rankling at Nupa's teasing, the warrior laughed. "Ohan, tiblo
! You will understand when you are joined!" Whirling her pony around, she exclaimed, "I will race you to camp! Whoever is first receives a gift from the other!"
The young koskalaka blinked at Anpo for only a moment before vaulting onto his horse. The two sped away, whooping.
As all young warriors were prone to do, upon their arrival at camp, the pair circled around and raced right up to the council fire before pulling up short in a cloud of dust and noise. The hoksila
hollered in their excitement and chased each other around the two ponies as the warriors dismounted with laughter.
"I am first!" Nupa exclaimed. "You will give me a gift!"
Anpo nodded, her face a mirror of his own. "Ohan
, tiblo." She pulled a pouch from her horse and handed it to her friend. "Here is a pipe. It is made of the bone of tatanka
ska
. I just finished making it yesterday."
The young man's smile faded to seriousness. "You honor me, tanksi," he murmured.
"I share my honor with my family, tiblo
." Anpo draped her arm across his shoulder. "You may not be blood, but you are family to me."
"Thank you, tanksi
."
"Anpo!" a voice interrupted.
The two turned towards the voice, seeing Hca Wanahca running towards them, her face serious.
Anpo dropped her arm and took a step forward, all thoughts focusing on her sibling. "What is it, cuwekala?"
"It is Ketlin, mitan. She is ill."
The warrior's heart turned to ice. She left her sister, friend and pony, running for the ti
ikceya
. Behind her, Hca's voice followed.
"The medicine man is with her, Anpo!"
At Kathleen's lodge, the dark woman was met by her parents who were blocking her way. "Stand aside!" Anpo demanded.
"Hoh
, cunksi!" Wanbli Zi insisted, physically holding his worried daughter back. "Let He finish what he is doing!"
Inside the ti ikceya could be heard the sounds of the medicine man, He Osni, chanting a spell of protection over his patient. Anpo glared at her ate, but he would not back down.
Waniyetu Gi slid around from behind him and took her youngest child's shoulder in her hand. "It will be all right, cunksi. Ketlin's stomach hurt her. I asked He to help ease her discomfort." Seeing that Anpo was less agitated, she continued. "Sit at your fire, cunksi
."
Wanbli nodded, not losing eye contact with the warrior. "Sit at your fire and wait for the medicine man to finish. He will tell you what you need to know." When Anpo made no move, the older man physically turned her resisting body around and pushed her towards her place.
By now, Hca had returned from the center of camp. As Anpo sat down, she handed her sister a waterskin and some dried meat. "Nupa is tending your pony, mitankala
. He will bring your saddle and things when he is finished."
Their father settled down in place beside Anpo. With a gesture, he dismissed his eldest daughter and woman. "I must speak of things with this warrior," he told them. He waited for them to leave before speaking again.
The young warrior's mind was in a turmoil, her heart pounding. Anger boiled beneath the surface. I must see Ketlin! I must protect her! She stared into the fire, trying to find a way to help, not even sure what help was needed. Her ate's voice filtered through and Anpo focused her eyes on him.
"You can do nothing, cunksi. You can only wait. It is hard, being helpless, but you will not ease things with your presence."
"I must help Ketlin," Anpo said, voicing the thoughts racing through her head. "She needs me."
"She needs you to be calm, warrior. She needs you to be able to think." Wanbli sighed. "It is the mark of a man that he may set aside his emotions in trying times, be calm and able to think, to reason. All that can be done is being done. Your presence will only complicate matters and show your dishonor of He."
Anpo blinked at him. "I do not know if I can, ate," she said in a low voice. "I do not wish to dishonor the medicine man...."
"Then stay here at your fire. Be a true warrior, Anpo. Wait until he comes out to speak to you. Do not speak before he does." A strained look crossed his daughter's face and Wanbli's heart went out to her. "I did the same when you were born, cunksi. It is not an easy task to hear your woman scream in pain and not go to her. But it would have dishonored her, as well, should I have interfered."
Finally convinced, though only by a hair, the young warrior nodded and stared into the fire. Her back was to Kathleen's ti
ikceya
but all her attention was on it.
Nupa arrived, saddle in hand and worry on his face. He set the wood and leather apparatus to one side of the tiopa and sat in his usual place at Anpo's fire. His dark eyes flickered back and forth between the two warriors and he nodded to himself, pulling out the pipe that had just been given him by his friend. "I will smoke now and ask you to join me," he said.
At Wanbli's nod, the young koskalaka
filled the bowl with tobacco and lit it. He took a long puff from the pipe and handed it to Anpo.
The three sat at the fire, smoking until the bowl was empty. Inside the lodge, there was only the noise of the chanting and rattling off he's instruments. Eventually, even the sound of these things drifted away and voices could be heard.
The leather opening was thrust aside and an elderly man stepped out. He Osni shuffled towards the fire and settled laboriously in the honored place that Wanbli Zi had vacated for him. The medicine man was very old, having been old when Anpo was born. His skin was dry and leathery, his hair snow white and wispy.
Sitting in silence, Anpo resisted the urge to grab the old man by the collar and wrestle the information out of him. She held back her desire to bolt from the fire and see her winuhca. Behind her, she was comforted to hear her sister and mother entering the ti ikceya to help Kathleen.
After long contemplation, the medicine man spoke, his voice as leathery as his skin. "Your winyan
is ill, Anpo."
"Will she be alright, wicahcala
?" the woman asked, trying to keep control of her emotions.
"If she does as she is told, she will be fine." There was a long pause. "She is with child."
Stunned silence met his pronouncement as all three of the warriors stared at him.
"W... what?" Anpo asked in a whisper.
The craggy old face broke into a smile, his few teeth gleaming. "Your woman is with child, warrior. She will give birth in a few moons." And, though it was rude, He didn't take offense when the young woman leapt to her feet and dashed into the lodge behind her. Rather, he chuckled and pulled out a pipe.
Kathleen was in her sleeping robes, looking a bit worse for wear. Her stepan was mixing herbs to alleviate her nausea as Gi was preparing water in a clay bowl near the fire. She looked up as Anpo entered, her heart jumping at the dark eyes that pinned her own.
The warrior knelt down beside her winuhca
, reaching out to pull a pale hand into hers. "Ketlin," she started, but couldn't think of anything else to say.
The blonde chewed her lower lip and dropped her gaze. She tried to explain. "Anpo. I am sorry. I did not think I could have children...."
"Ketlin," and this time the voice was warm.
Dark blue eyes peered up into a wide smile.
"You are with child, winuhca," Anpo stated happily. "You will bear me a son or daughter!"
Kathleen blinked at her warrior. 'Tis that simple then? My child will be Anpo's? A dim flicker of hope sparked and filled her soul. The fear that she would be tossed aside for bearing another man's child dissipated. "You are happy then...?" she ventured.
"Happy? Winuhca! This is the best thing to happen to me in my life!!" Anpo swept her woman into a hug, rocking her. "Thank you so much for this gift!" she whispered.
Unable to hold back the relief, tears spilled from Kathleen's eyes and she held Anpo tightly. "Thank you, winuhca
," she whispered. "Thank you."
Chapter 6
Yuwipi Ki
(yoo-wee-pee kee)
The Sun Dance
1777
The following morning found Kathleen seated outside her ti
ikceya
, a mass of reeds in her lap. The base of a basket gave the vegetation some semblance of order, but the loose ends haphazardly filled the air above it. Her tongue was sticking out the corner of her mouth in concentration as she tried to remember which end went where from her lessons with Waniyetu Gi.
A trio of native women walked by, chatting amiably amongst each other and carrying water from the creek they’d camped beside the previous evening. Upon sighting the blonde, they all called to her, bidding her a good day.
With a tentative smile, Kathleen returned the sentiment and watched as they went their way. Well, lass. News certainly travels fast, eh? Shaking her head with a small smile, the woman returned to her task, weaving the reeds together.
As Gi had said, all women were accepted as full members of the Lakota when they made their wicasa
happy and bore them children. When He Osni had announced she was pregnant, every woman and wikoskalaka had shown up at the lodge with offers of assistance and help for the new young mother.
It was all a bit overwhelming, to say the least. Yesterday, nobody’d speak ta ye and now ev’rybody’s a friend. The blonde braids shook again at the wonder of it all.
Despite Anpo’s apparent happiness at the news, the white woman hadn’t slept well. Visions of the horrible abuse instigated upon her filled her sleep, making for a restless night. Her warrior had held her closely through the nightmares, soothing her fears and singing her to sleep.
There was no doubt in Kathleen’s mind that the child she carried belonged to her rapist. The knowledge of it chilled her heart even as it soared to new heights of joy. After two years, Adam and I couldn’t have a child. I doubt ‘t’would have changed. And her time with Hehaka Yatke certainly wouldn’t have resulted in pregnancy. He never did anythin’ with me.
Kathleen sighed and tried to focus on the basket in her hands. But the fears and uncertainty continued to plague her mind. Questions flickered through her thoughts, disappearing nearly as fast as they could form.
Just how acceptin’ are these people? Will they accept this child as Anpo’s? Will Anpo accept the child? And the worst thought, the one that the blonde mentally cringed from each and every time it came up - Can I accept the child of the man who raped me?
“Han
, winuhca!”
Looking up from her task, Kathleen smiled up at her warrior. She set aside the half completed basket.
Anpo, a wide smile on her face and two brownish animals hanging from one hand, approached and settled down at her fire. Brandishing the dead carcasses, she said, “I have brought you pispiza
. You can cook these this night.”
“Thank you, Anpo. You are a very good hunter.” The blonde watched Anpo flush from the compliment before bending to her task. Ah, she’s a pretty one, she is, came the fond thought. “Are you hungry now, winuhca
? I have grains boiling.”
“That would be good, Ketlin.”
Kathleen used a wooden spoon to ladle some of the mixture into a clay bowl. She crumbled some dried herbs into it and stirred. Rising, she walked behind the busy young woman and knelt to set the bowl to one side, placing a hand on Anpo’s shoulder to steady herself. Unable to resist, the blonde remained on her knees and leaned forward, using the strong back as support.
Feeling the warmth of her woman against her, Anpo stopped her butchering and turned her head to see the yellow hair just over her shoulder. “How do you feel, winucha?” she asked in a soft voice. “Are you still ill this morning?”
The blonde head readjusted itself. “Hiya
. I feel much better now.” The morning sickness had been mild over the last few weeks. So much so that Kathleen hadn’t realized what was happening, thinking it was the stress of her situation that was upsetting her stomach.
“You should try to sleep this afternoon,” the dark woman said. She held her torso steady for Kathleen and returned to her chore of skinning the animals she’d caught. “We will not be leaving for summer camp until tomorrow.”
Loathe to attempt sleep without her warrior, Kathleen shrugged slightly and snuggled against the shoulder she rested on. “I do not know. Maybe.” Her eyes closed.
Anpo finished butchering the carcasses with as little movement of her upper body as she was able. Eventually, the job was done and she remained quiet and still, enjoying the peaceful moment. Ketlin is still so scared, so fearful. Will she ever be free of those evil spirits? A fierce wave of protectiveness flowed through the warrior and she inhaled deeply to quell the sudden urge to turn and sweep Kathleen into her arms. It will frighten her if I move too quickly, she considered, not wanting to repeat her original mistake with the blonde.
“Ketlin.”
Despite her desire to remain awake, the white woman had dozed a bit. Her hand was still on Anpo’s shoulder and, as she roused, she squeezed gently. “I am sorry, winuhca. I am still tired.”
As the blonde pulled away, Anpo turned to peer over her shoulder at her. “You did not sleep well. You must sleep this day. There will be no rest tomorrow until we reach summer camp.”
Kathleen grimaced a little and gave a little shake of her head, looking away. “I cannot, Anpo.” She moved back to the fire and stirred the pot of boiling grains.
She is afraid she will have the dreams again. Anpo looked down to her bloody hands. The meat had been separated from the skins and it was prepared to cook. I will protect mahasanni ki while she sleeps. “I must clean myself,” she told her woman. “You fix the pispiza. We will both rest this day.” Handing the meat to Kathleen, her face brooked no argument.
Kathleen peeked up at her warrior as the taller woman rose. “Ohan
, winuhca
,” she agreed in a quiet voice. Her heart held a mixture of trepidation for the coming nightmares and caring for this young woman who would insist on taking care of her. Why do I feel so much more for Anpo than I did Adam? the blonde wondered as the dark woman made her way to the creek. And in far less time.
After Anpo had cleaned up and eaten and Kathleen had prepared the meat to be cooked for their evening meal, the warrior took her woman’s hand and led her into the ti ikceya. The edges around the base had been rolled up a few inches to allow a summer breeze to cool the interior. The dark woman removed her shirt and moccasins, leaving her breechclout. Settling down onto the sleeping furs, she waved the blonde closer. “Come, Ketlin. You need rest.”
Still shy even after almost two weeks of being in the warrior’s custody, Kathleen tinted a little and looked away as she removed her cuwignaka
. She knew without looking that Anpo’s dark eyes would take in every inch of her fair skin as they always did. And
the blonde still hadn’t decided whether it was good or bad. Certainly not like anythin’s goin’ ta happen, lass. At least yer safe in that respect!
A distant part of herself mourned the thought.
As the white woman curled up with her, Anpo sighed in contentment. Her skin on mine feels so..., and she searched for the word. Right. It feels so right. Wanting to increase the contact, the warrior turned on her side and cuddled closer, draping a long arm across her woman’s waist. “Try to sleep, winuhca. I will be here when you wake.”
Kathleen rolled over, as well, facing her warrior and tucking her head beneath a dark chin. She felt the arm snake around her side and a hand rub her back in a gentle, soothing motion. As any tired child, reluctant to sleep, the blonde forced her eyes to remain open. Noting the pulse jumping in Anpo’s neck, her hands reached up to finger the necklace of quills and wooden beads that hung around it.
Anpo continued her caresses, knowing that the woman in her arms didn’t sleep. Finally, she asked, “What is it, Ketlin? What worries cloud your mind?”
There was a sigh followed by silence.
“Ketlin?”
Frowning as she tried to formulate her thoughts into questions, Kathleen sighed again. Just as the dark woman began pulling away to peer down at her, she hastily spoke up to forego the movement. “What happens when the baby arrives?”
The warrior relaxed and returned to her position, blonde hair beneath her chin. “You want to know how our women have children?”
There was a nod and a muffled, “Ohan.”
“When a woman is with child and ready to give birth, she calls her ina
to help her. The shaman and the medicine man also help with the birth.” Anpo considered what she knew of her own birth. “Since your ina is not here, my ina will help in her place. The medicine man, He, will chant spells and prepare you, giving you medicines if you need them. Inyan will protect the child from evil spirits that wish to invade it once it is born.”
“And then what?”
There was a slight shrug. “Then the baby is born. Inyan will be the one to hold it as it comes from your san
and he will know what the child will be.” Changing the topic slightly, Anpo said, “I was the first child that Inyan ever held and he had a vision of me.”
Tiopa Ki Lakota Page 15
