Another friend group text arrived, snapping Kelsey out of these dangerous thoughts, but she didn’t bother to read it. She didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with her friends at the moment, but it was a good reminder that considering testing her sex skills with Ian was a dangerous fantasy. He held her most precious secret in his (strong, manly) hands, and she had no choice but to trust him with it. That was a precarious position to be in, and she didn’t dare disturb the balance of their relationship, such as it was. After all, when even the friends she’d known for years had no second thoughts about screwing her over, what hope did she have that a virtual stranger might not be tempted to do the same?
* * *
* * *
“THE GUYS JOSH recommended to help with the bottling this week seem solid,” Micah said as Ian checked on another of the brewery’s tanks. “We need to start thinking about hiring some people on permanently though. Once these next batches go out, we’re going to be operating beyond the scope where the two of us can handle everything.”
Ian entered the fermentation reading into his spreadsheet and sighed. Micah wasn’t wrong, but until this place was fully open—including the tasting room—there was only enough work for additional hands periodically. Those periods would just be coming faster and faster. The income they generated, however, was still far from reliable. Until it was, Ian hated the idea of taking on permanent help.
That said, he knew he should trust Micah on this. His friend was the one with the business background, and he was better suited to crunching those numbers. But so much was riding on the brewery’s success that letting any part of it get away from him, and that included taking on the additional risk of real employees, made Ian feel like vomiting.
Considering the thought of seeing Kelsey later for the first of what she’d dubbed his “dog therapy” sessions also made him feel like vomiting, his stomach needed a rest. And that didn’t even touch on the news they’d gotten from the town today.
“Yeah, I know.” Ian saved the spreadsheet and set his tablet aside. “Let’s see how these guys work out and whether they’re interested in more permanent work before we make any decisions.”
“Sounds good.” Micah tapped his fingers along the tanks as he headed toward the brewery’s main room.
Ian followed, contemplating the time and how much more work he could get done before dinner. Then how much he should drink at dinner to prepare himself for what came after. Namely, the dogs. Seeing Kelsey again came with its own excitement, but more of the pleasant kind. The conversation with Josh on Saturday had kept her in the front of his mind, and the longer she stayed there, the more he wanted her there.
Reading her book didn’t help. The story was entertaining on its own, but the woman could write sex scenes that burned up the page (or rather his phone screen). He inevitably got distracted while reading and started remembering how her body had pressed against his and imagining the curve of her ass beneath his palms and what it would feel like to have those legs wrapped around him as he pumped inside of her. Then he’d have to stop reading and go take care of business.
The plan was to meet Kelsey at seven at her house tonight, and Ian still hadn’t told Micah what he was up to.
“We need to address the town problem,” Micah said, taking a seat in the tasting room.
The town problem—the third and final issue that was making him sick to his stomach. They’d gotten word today, from Kelsey’s father, of all people, that the SHS was petitioning the town to change their alcohol laws. Under the proposed new law, the brewery wouldn’t be allowed to serve beer unless they served full meals with it or served alcoholic drinks in addition to their own beer. Either would be a disaster. He and Micah weren’t trying to open a restaurant or a bar. These changes would force them to do so.
Ian rubbed his eyes. “Can they actually do that?”
“After consulting with our lawyer—yes, they can. Every town is free to impose whatever restrictions they want on top of the state’s laws.”
“Shit.” Ian grabbed the back of a chair, fighting the urge to throw it and let out some of the tension inside. His own cursory understanding of the state laws had told him the same thing, but he’d been hoping an actual lawyer would say he was wrong.
Micah’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. Ian rarely swore. “Relax. It’s unlikely this is going to go anywhere, and if it does, we’ll manage. We can strike a deal with another brewery. We’ll sell their stuff and they’ll sell ours.”
“We’ll need additional licenses to do that. It’ll cost more money that we didn’t budget for.” It would push them one step closer to failure. Ian swallowed.
“Probably. Or we can go with my idea and open this town’s first decent bagel shop. I’ve even come up with more names. Don’t say no yet; hear me out.” Micah spread his arms. “We’ll call ourselves Lox of Lagers. You got to admit—it’s catchy, right?”
In spite of himself, Ian snorted. “I don’t even make lagers.”
“And I don’t make bagels—yet. But there’s no time like the present to start.”
13
“SORRY, MY DEARS.” Kelsey closed the gate at the top of her stairs, preventing the huskies from following her. “I promise, this won’t last long.”
It wouldn’t for Juliet anyway, whom she planned to bring down once Ian was ready. Kelsey figured not springing a dog on him the moment he walked through her door was wisest. Still, she didn’t think Romeo or Puck would be trapped upstairs for too long either. She’d done a bit of research into exposure therapy, and she figured she should limit the amount of time Ian spent near Juliet. Slow and steady was the way to go. If she kept Juliet in the kitchen, Ian might not even cross the threshold between it and the living room, and that was okay if it was as close as he felt comfortable with.
Then Ian would leave. In all, the entire session might take only ten minutes.
She would not be disappointed about that.
Kelsey sighed. It wasn’t like she even knew for sure whether Ian was interested in her, or for that matter whether he was okay with casual sex. Because that was all there could be, and even that left her second-guessing this harebrained idea. She didn’t know what would be worse—Ian rejecting her outright, or Ian expecting more from her. If she contemplated these scenarios for too long, she’d lose her nerve altogether.
“And would that be so terrible?” Kelsey straightened the throw cushions on her sofa. She’d already gone through a whole list of reasons why kissing Ian would be bad, starting with him knowing her secret and ending with the possibility that he might not enjoy the experience. And what would happen to her then? She’d spent years rebuilding her self-esteem. Best not to risk anything.
At least her house was looking better. She’d painted the downstairs on Sunday, which was probably something she should have done before picking up her grandparents’ furniture, but better late than never. The walls needed another coat, but with the addition of the tables and chairs, she no longer looked like she was living in an abandoned building. There was no reason to be embarrassed in front of company.
A knock at the door interrupted her brief moment of satisfaction and brought her emotional disarray back with force. Since there was nothing to do about that, Kelsey lifted her chin and welcomed Ian inside as though all was perfectly normal. After all, she was used to faking her way through life. Surely she could fake being indifferent to this man.
“It’s looking good,” Ian said, checking out the walls, and Kelsey couldn’t help but notice he’d looked around the floor first, presumably for her dogs.
She stifled a laugh. “It’s looking better. Don’t worry. I’m not going to sic a dog on you if you’re not overly effusive about my paint choices.”
Ian winced and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I appreciate that, but I don’t think I was being effusive. Never mind overly effusive.”
No, he was right.
He hadn’t been, but her defense mechanisms were kicking in. Being attracted to him made life difficult, and snark was her comfort setting. Trading barbs with Ian was the safest thing she could do for herself, but it wasn’t fair to him. Especially when he was putting himself in her hands regarding the dogs (but alas, not literally).
“Sorry,” Kelsey said. “I seem to default to sarcasm around you still.”
Ian seemed surprised by her apology, as he should be, even if he didn’t know her well enough to know why. If Josh were around, her cousin would have feigned fainting. “That’s probably my fault. I’m the one who went on the offensive first.”
“That’s a matter of perspective. I was already inclined to dislike you before we met because of the whole outsider thing.”
“True—and if I’d known that, I might have slammed a door in your face intentionally.”
Kelsey shook her head, snark dissolving with her smile. It might be her comfort setting, but it was no longer her default around him, no matter what she claimed. “No, you wouldn’t have.”
Ian laughed, and some of the tension went out of his shoulders. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have.”
“You’re too nice.”
“I’m not entirely sure that’s the reason.”
There it was again—the change in intensity of his gaze, the knowing lilt of his lips, and something more. Kelsey could have sworn the air between them took on a charge, like a storm was gathering, and it was disrupting her brain.
Disruptive—that was the new word she should have chosen for Ian. He wasn’t just distracting; he was disrupting.
It was time to move on before she continued smiling for no good reason.
“Before we do this . . .” And by this she meant bring the dog out, but since she didn’t say that, all Kelsey could do was rush on and think about how her words might be misinterpreted. “Um, do you want something to drink? To help with anxiety, I mean? I have this bottle of whiskey someone gave me. I don’t drink unless it’s the sort of thing that comes with a paper umbrella, but my brothers think it’s good, and I thought it might help you to self-medicate.”
“Thanks, but I’m good.” Ian’s hands visibly twitched in his pockets, suggesting that wasn’t entirely true. “I had a beer with dinner. It was a stressful day—no dogs required for that.”
“Everything okay?” Why was she asking? Kelsey told her feet to march upstairs and get Juliet, but they remained in place.
Ian’s face spoke the answer before he could get out the words. “It’s the town, or the SHS, to be more specific. They’re petitioning to have the local alcohol laws changed to make our lives more difficult.”
They could do that? She’d take Ian’s word for it. It was nasty and underhanded and entirely aboveboard—the kind of move she could appreciate if it wasn’t aimed at someone she liked.
Liked. Kelsey cringed. It was one thing to admit to herself that she was attracted to Ian. Liking him was another story. At best, she was willing to acknowledge that she didn’t dislike him. It was damn hard to dislike a puppy.
“I’m sorry,” she said, hoping that explained the cringe.
Ian crossed his arms. “Really? The fact that the Lipins are behind it aside, isn’t this what you want? To drive us out of town?”
He wasn’t entirely wrong, but Ian had turned her into a contradictory mess. Kelsey flailed about for a way to explain her complicated feelings. One that didn’t involve admitting that she wanted to jump his bones or that she was simultaneously worried that if she pissed him off, he’d spill her darkest secret. “Yes, but not really. I mean, it’s not personal, as I’ve said. And anyway, it’s not like your business is a chain store, so you could be higher on my shit list.”
“Ah, thanks. I was worried for a second when you weren’t being snarky.”
In spite of her determination to do anything but smile, Kelsey laughed. “That worried you?”
“Well, I was getting used to it.” He leaned against the half wall that separated her kitchen and living room. “You’re funny, so I guess I might even have started liking it.”
Funny was so not what she was aiming for when she turned her snark on people, and normally, Kelsey would have been offended by the suggestion. This was just one more example of men not taking her seriously. Except with Ian, that wasn’t the case. She didn’t want to truly cut him down, so she hadn’t been aiming for cruel. Perhaps, subconsciously, she had been aiming for funny, or its proximity.
Heat rose up Kelsey’s neck. “I usually have the opposite effect on people.”
Ian rubbed his chin. “Maybe your tricks don’t work on us outsiders, and that’s the real reason you don’t like us.”
“My tricks?”
“You know, pretending to be unlikable so people will leave you alone?”
Kelsey opened her mouth to protest, but her words failed. Damn him. Somehow Ian had figured her out too well. It was terrifying and fascinating, and she wasn’t only feeling flushed anymore. Her pulse was pounding in her ears, and her head was swimming. She wanted to kiss him more than ever, but her mouth had gone dry.
She glanced around for something to fiddle with and came up empty. “You don’t think I’m unlikable?”
That had to have sounded weird. Worse, she was certain it sounded hopeful. As if she wanted Ian to like her.
But she didn’t.
Although she wouldn’t have minded him pressing her against the nearest wall and smashing his mouth against hers. He didn’t have to like her for that.
These emotions must have been flashing over her face, because Ian took a step away from the wall, bringing him a hair’s breadth closer to her. The puppiness had left him again. He was 100 percent man, but with the kind of hungry look on his face that was pure animal instinct. She doubted he had any idea of it, but her body had become very aware, and her mouth was no longer dry.
“I did think you were unlikable at first,” Ian said with a small shrug. “But I’ve changed my mind since. I now think you’re an acquired taste, like beer. Lots of people don’t like beer at first, but if you keep sipping, you develop an appreciation for it.”
Kelsey had no idea if that was true, but truth was irrelevant. She watched Ian’s lips as he spoke, and they were the only thing she could concentrate on. “I’d like to point out that you’ve never actually tasted me.”
Those mesmerizing lips twitched. “We could fix that.”
Fix what? Oh wait, she’d said the tasting thing out loud. Her heart, which had already been pounding hard, increased its speed. This was clearly a sign that she should run upstairs and get a dog—any dog—because her brain and her body weren’t coordinating their actions, and who knew what she’d do next if left to her own devices?
Kelsey swallowed. Take a step back, she told herself.
She took a step forward. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
Ian also took a step forward. “Why not?”
Why not? She had an answer to that question, but it was seeming less relevant with every breath.
Did she really want to do this? Would she ever have a more exhilarating opportunity? What if it was a disaster? What if it wasn’t?
“Kelsey?” Ian’s hand had touched her cheek without her having any idea how he had gotten that close, but now that she was aware, she was very aware. The heat of his body seeped into hers. The scent of him filled her head. She could see every hair, every bit of stubble on his chin, and she wanted to rub her cheek against it and feel that stubble scratching the skin on her face. The skin in other places too. Then she wanted to climb him like he was a freaking mountain. Suddenly, she appreciated tall men in a way she never had before.
And she loved the way he said her name. Her friends, her close family—everyone called her Kels. Hearing her full name from Ian’s lips made it somehow more sensual.
Or maybe that was just h
is voice. She’d never thought about it before, but Ian had a nice voice. Deep but not too deep, and rich like honey.
“Yes.” She closed her eyes, and fear shot through her, a cold spike of iron that should have shattered her ability to continue. Anxiety, embarrassment—all the old emotions she’d spent years working her way through returned in a dizzying second of panic.
But they vanished as quickly as they’d come, because Ian was kissing her, and oh my God. Anxiety had no room in her emotional repertoire. Anxiety required repetitive thoughts and dwelling on old memories, and she was no longer capable of thinking coherently enough for either. Explosive lust completely drowned out everything but sensation and need.
Ian must have felt the same way. His kiss was not gentle and questioning like his hand had been. She’d welcomed his touch, given him the okay, and he was taking it, stealing her breath like he was afraid she’d rescind the invitation.
His mouth was hot, devouring hers, coaxing noises out of her throat that she wasn’t sure she’d ever made before. Unbidden, her arms reached up, and she wrapped them around his neck and dug her nails into the patch of skin above his collar as her fingers and toes curled with pleasure. Ian slid his arms around her, cupped her ass, and together they slammed backward until she hit the wall behind her. He tried to pause for a second, possibly to ask if she was okay, and Kelsey didn’t let him. She stretched for him again and ran her tongue over his lips and the prickly stubble on his chin. Ian groaned until he reclaimed her mouth. That was good. She didn’t want to stop. If she stopped, those pesky thoughts might have space to breathe and unwanted emotions might return. She wanted to do this—she would do this—and for that to happen, she needed to keep kissing Ian, keep touching him. She’d never found a way to shut her brain off like this before.
Paws and Prejudice Page 12
