“Well, shit.” Dr. Wells sighed. “Now you’ve neutralized my mad, and I was enjoying it.”
They watched each other silently, expressions easing at the same time, until Wells’s twitching lips gave Ekatya permission to laugh again. Wells chuckled with her, and having company in this inappropriate levity made Ekatya feel better than she had since the Tutnuken missed its rendezvous.
“We’re friends?” Wells asked.
“I hope so.”
“Does that mean I can look forward to more nasty insults? I only ask so I can be prepared. Similar to Cox, really.”
Ekatya snickered. “Sorry. But you have to admit that you share a certain . . . direct style of communication.”
“I speak clearly because I’m a scientist. He does it because he has no tact or consideration. Or vocabulary, now that I think about it.”
Holding up her hands, Ekatya said, “I’m not going anywhere near that.”
“You brought it up!”
“I know. I’m still not going anywhere near it.”
Dr. Wells leaned a hip against the lab bench and folded her arms. “Has your day been long just because of the Resilere, or is something else going on?”
She hesitated. “As a friend?”
“As a friend.”
It was a leap. But she needed someone, and who better than the woman who had never been afraid to take her on?
She pulled out her hair clip, pocketed it, and scrubbed her hands through her hair. “I was an idiot today, and Lhyn called me on it. I scared her so badly that she cried. Only for a few seconds, and then she was fine, but my heart—” She shook her head. “I’m responsible for over twelve hundred people, and most of the time it’s a weight I can handle. But sometimes I wonder what the Hades I’m doing and who thought it would be a good idea to leave me in charge.”
“If you didn’t wonder that now and again, you’d be the kind of captain I refuse to serve under.” Those sharp green eyes held none of the surprise or judgment she had feared. “You’re not a machine. You get to be imperfect.”
“The problem is that when I’m imperfect, people can die.” Ekatya looked away, focusing on the potted trees lining the far side of the medbay lobby. “Or I hurt someone who should never be hurt.”
“Nobody gets through life without being hurt. Sometimes the ones who get hurt the most are the ones who least deserve it.”
Something in her tone brought Ekatya’s head around. “We’re not talking about Lhyn anymore, are we?”
For several silent seconds, Wells stared out at the same trees that had previously held Ekatya’s attention. “I’ll tell you the story,” she said at last. “Later, after we’re through this. But I think . . . I’d like you to know.”
“I have the feeling that will be a great honor.”
A wicked gleam entered her eyes. “Not that great. I already told Rahel.”
And just like that, the weight lifted. “That was revenge for the Cox comment, wasn’t it?”
“If we’re going to be friends, you should know I give as good as I get.”
“As if I didn’t know that before? Wait, isn’t there supposed to be an advantage to being friends? Where does that come in?”
Wells shrugged. “I don’t know. You’ll have to tell me when you figure it out.”
Dr. Wells was not going to be an easy friend, Ekatya thought. But then, nothing worthwhile ever was.
23
On edge
Rahel was in the Blue Rocket with Roris and the weapons team when Captain Serrado made her all-call announcement. The bustling bar went silent as she calmly explained that Dr. Wells had discovered how to defend against the Resilere and their cement-like excretion. She ordered crew members to travel in pairs for safety and to carry a spray bottle of Enkara seawater at all times, effective immediately. Then she explained their theory regarding the non-predatory nature of the Resilere, at least with Gaians, and cautioned everyone to avoid any sudden movements should they run into one.
“I have every faith that we will resolve this situation quickly,” she concluded. “In the meantime, look after each other. We’ll get through this as a team.”
The bar remained silent for a few seconds before resuming its prior noise level, but there was no laughter now. Rahel winced under the onslaught of heightened emotions and threw her blocks into place.
Blunt was looking at her with sympathy in her colorless eyes. “Can’t imagine how that must feel.”
“I can block it. Well, most of it. This many people in this small a space . . .” She lifted her hand and drew a circle with her forefinger, indicating the room. “I’d need to be a high empath to block all that.”
“You’re in for a rough few days,” Roris said. “It’s only going to get worse from here. This may be a warship, but most of these people are beakers and support staff. The most dangerous thing they’ve ever faced was their senior year practical exam. They’ll be scared.”
“Especially if we keep having mechanical issues,” Torado added. “I heard someone else got stuck in a lift. If operations can’t stay ahead of that, they’ll end up closing them down.”
The others groaned. “That’ll suck air,” Blunt said. “Just what I wanted to do, climb down thirteen decks to our weapons room.”
“You don’t have to climb down thirteen decks.” Rahel grinned. “You can slide down them. But you do have to climb thirteen decks back up.”
“Thanks, you’re a ray of starshine.”
Roris’s assessment was prescient. There were power outages all over the ship the next day, including four that affected the lifts. One section on deck eight lost gravity for three hours. Deck nineteen had a flood when the Resilere melted a hole in a water reclamation pipe. The operations and engineering staff were running ragged while security chased ghosts without getting so much as a glimpse, and the crew’s stress level spiked to a point Rahel had not thought possible. The relentless pressure on her blocks swiftly blossomed into a familiar pain behind her eyes. Nor could she retreat to the chases, which were now off limits to anyone but repair crews and security staff.
Lhyn was entirely unaffected by the general fear and saw no reason to interrupt their training.
“I don’t mean to sound like an arrogant warrior,” Rahel said, “but I’d expect a scholar to be a little more nervous.”
Lhyn shrugged. “I guess there’s something to be said for being tortured. My threshold for things to get worried about is a lot higher than it used to be.”
Rahel snapped her mouth shut and resolved never to say anything that stupid again.
The day after that, the Resilere chewed through so much critical infrastructure that Captain Serrado was forced to shut down lift operations on seven decks and ask all non-essential crew to stay in their quarters or approved gathering places. It would limit the areas of concern for both security and the repair crews.
If Rahel thought that might slow down the gossip machine, she was mistaken. When she and Lhyn went to the Blue Rocket for a training break, they heard about every flood, power outage, and melted hole sighting on the ship. They also heard about the failure of all attempts to live trap the Resilere. Dr. Wells had created blocks of minerals she thought would be attractive to them, and Commanders Cox and Jalta had come up with acid-proof containers to lock them in. But the Resilere were either uninterested in the food blocks or too smart to be caught.
Near the end of the day shift, two operations staff surprised a Resilere while fetching replacement conduit for a repair. It ran away, but not before hitting one of the women in the face with its defense excretion. The Enkara seawater saved her from suffocation, but the majority of the crew did not focus on that part of the story. They focused on the fact that there had been another attack.
The ship-wide stress level hit new heights, and Rahel spiraled into a pain that was nearly as bad as her punishment week. She was on the third day since her last treatment and now realized her error in recruiting Katsuro Lokomorra: a crisis that
prevented Dr. Wells from treating her would likely involve him, too.
She should have asked Lhyn for help earlier. Now Katsuro was covering the bridge, Lhyn was having dinner with the captain, Dr. Wells was busy in the medbay, and Rahel was paying the price for her stubborn warrior pride.
She was resting on her couch with the lights dimmed when her entry chime rang. With a groan, she sat up and waited for the spikes of pain to subside, then slowly stood.
The chime rang again before she was halfway across the room, making her head throb.
“I’m coming,” she mumbled. “Stop pressing the shekking chime.” Calling up her reserves of strength, she stood straighter and opened the door.
“I thought so,” Dr. Wells said. “You look like you’ve been dragged through Tartarus backward.”
“I feel like it. What are you doing here?”
“Seeing to a patient.”
It was exactly what she needed, had in fact been dreaming about while lying on the couch with explosions going off in her head. But it was demoralizing, having Dr. Wells take time out of a crisis to come here. She was supposed to be a warrior, not a shekking patient. The whole ship was on high alert and she was disabled.
Without a word, she turned around, retraced her steps, and collapsed on the couch. She didn’t have the strength to keep her eyes open; sitting upright on the floor was out of the question.
“You are in bad shape.”
The fact that it was true didn’t make hearing it any easier. “Let’s get this done so you can go back.”
“Well, you’re making me feel wanted.” Dr. Wells’s voice came from above her.
She pressed the heels of her hands against her forehead and said nothing.
After a long moment, she heard the rustle of fabric and felt the air move as Dr. Wells knelt next to the couch. “Can you move your hands?”
“No,” Rahel said shortly. Having Dr. Wells this close, exuding so much emotion, was pushing her to the edge. She had no patience left for this dance around what should be appropriate for their relationship. “Would you please sit on the couch?”
“I would, but you’re on it—”
“At my head.”
Though surprised and a little dismayed, Dr. Wells did as asked. Rahel barely waited for her to settle before pushing up far enough to rest her head on the doctor’s leg.
The surprise doubled, but the dismay vanished. Coming up from deep beneath was an old, forgotten pleasure, familiar yet made strange from lack of experience.
The touch of fingers along her scalp felt like the first drops of rain after a drought. Rahel had not realized how tense she was until her entire body went limp, every cell understanding that relief was at hand.
“Sainted Shippers,” murmured Dr. Wells. “That was quite a reaction.”
Rahel tilted her head, able to move it freely for the first time in hours. She wasn’t yet capable of speech, too focused on the blessed relief pouring into her from these hands.
Perhaps five minutes passed before she could bring herself out of her daze. The combination of this position and the knowing touch of Dr. Wells’s fingertips had taken her straight from near-agony to a kind of stupefaction.
Dr. Wells deserved better.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted,” she said. “I wanted this so much I was fantasizing about it.”
A low chuckle sounded over her head. “I remember the days when people used to fantasize about me. It never looked like this, though.”
The smile felt foreign on her face. “Then their imaginations were limited. Why are you so sure people don’t fantasize about you now?”
“I’m a little past the usual age bracket.”
“If that’s true, this entire crew is blind and stupid.”
She had not thought Dr. Wells capable of shyness.
“Thank you, Rahel. That’s one of the nicest things anyone has said to me in some time. Is this the position you prefer?”
“It’s how I’ve always done it with Sharro.”
“Why didn’t you ask for it in the first place?”
She opened her eyes and soaked in this new view of Dr. Wells, so similar to Sharro in some ways and her polar opposite in all the others.
“Would you have been comfortable with it?” she asked.
Dr. Wells traced a fingertip along each of her forehead ridges. “No. Would I have done it anyway, knowing it was what you needed? Yes.”
“Then I would have been uncomfortable knowing you were uncomfortable. Like the massage therapists.”
“Hm. There is that.” Gentle fingers moved along her jaw and down her throat.
“You Gaians have such strange boundaries,” Rahel mused. “You don’t just keep the truth from others, you keep it from yourselves. You’ll do something that makes you uncomfortable because you think it’s your duty, but you have to find excuses to do something that gives you pleasure because you can’t accept why it does.”
“What does that mean?”
She was tired of pretending that she didn’t know. “You’re trying so hard to make sure I’m not a substitute for Josue that you can’t admit you do have some maternal feelings.”
The thigh under her head tensed. “I don’t have—”
“I’m an empath. You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me.”
Anger hit like a falling wall of bricks. “How dare you,” Dr. Wells said in a too-quiet voice. “I told you about my son in trust, and now you’re throwing it in my face? Get up.”
Shocked, Rahel pushed herself upright. She wasn’t even fully vertical before Dr. Wells launched off the couch, fury sparking off her skin.
“If I try to continue this treatment now, I won’t be any better than your first massage therapist.”
“Dr. Wells—”
The upraised hand stopped her. “Phoenix, call Lhyn Rivers.”
It was the protocol for a personal call, one that could be left unanswered if the recipient didn’t want to talk.
“Lhyn, I’m sorry to interrupt your dinner, but I need your help. No, no, it’s not an emergency. Rahel needs a treatment, but I’m not in a position to offer it right now and Commander Lokomorra is on duty. Good, thank you. I’ll send a security team to escort you after you’ve finished dinner, all right? No, she’ll be fine until then. Thanks again.” She looked up. “She’ll be here in half an hour.”
“Dr. Wells, I didn’t mean—”
“I’m not sure what you’re looking for,” Dr. Wells said sharply. “But I’m quite sure I’m not it.”
“I already have two mothers, I’m not looking for another one! Would you please listen—”
“And next time,” Dr. Wells said as if she hadn’t spoken, “don’t let your damned pride keep you from asking for help when you need it. Lhyn could have helped this morning, when you were already together. You wouldn’t have made yourself incapable of serving this crew, Lhyn wouldn’t need to make a special trip with a security escort, and I wouldn’t have taken two security officers off their rounds to bring me here. Think about that.”
She was out the door a second later, leaving Rahel speechless on the couch.
“Wow.” Lhyn’s eyes were full of the concern that was billowing through the room. “What happened between this morning and now?”
“I was a grainbird.” Rahel stood aside to let her in.
“For not asking me earlier? True, but there’s no harm done.” Lhyn frowned. “At least, not to me. You look like the south end of a northbound fanten, though.”
The Alsean phrase made her chuckle, but that threatened to turn into something else. She clenched her jaw against it and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I should have asked. I didn’t think it would get this bad, and I didn’t want to bring my medical needs into our training.”
Lhyn pulled her into a warmron. “You need to stop thinking of it as a weakness.”
Such uncomplicated affection was balm to an aching wound, and when Lhyn tugged her to the couch, she followed
and went down without a word of protest.
“Fahla, that feels good,” she groaned as Lhyn’s fingers combed through her hair.
“You know who else has discovered she likes this? Ekatya. I was telling her about it earlier, and she didn’t understand how something so simple could be this powerful for you. So I demonstrated. Don’t tell the Voloth, but I now know how to completely disarm the great Captain Serrado.”
“I don’t think she’d have the same reaction with a Voloth.”
“I do have some special powers with her.”
“You have them with me, too.”
Lhyn’s pleasure was shot through with sparkling pride. “Maybe I have a special touch with warriors.”
Rahel caught her hand and held it against her shoulder. “Thank you.”
“Of course. You think I’d leave you in pain when it’s so easy to fix?”
“No. Thank you for everything.” She pressed the hand to her cheek and let go.
“Oh. Well, you don’t need to thank me for that.” Lhyn cupped her cheek for a long moment before resuming her caresses. “What’s really wrong?”
Rahel would never understand Gaians. She had told Dr. Wells the truth and driven her away. Now she wasn’t saying anything, yet somehow Lhyn still knew.
“I don’t think I’m going to succeed at this,” she said.
“Lying on my lap? I think you’re succeeding just fine.”
She smiled despite herself. “You’ll have to practice more if you want anyone to believe you’re obtuse.”
“I’ll work on it. What aren’t you succeeding at?”
She closed her eyes as Lhyn’s touch drifted across her forehead. “Being on this ship. Learning how to be part of the crew. You need someone who understands emotions instead of stepping all over them.”
Resilience Page 19
