Lhyn tapped her pad even as she moved her tank forward.
Safe, Rahel projected. Protect. She thought of home, of joy and contentment, and pushed her tank.
A small motor whirred. The effort of pushing smoothed out, and the cart moved forward.
Her three Resilere became very tall, drawing themselves up into what looked like an alert position. But they didn’t camouflage, and she sensed no anxiety. Yet.
Zeppy had to walk backward and pull the tank with him, a position Rahel did not envy. Her concern was Lhyn, whose shoulders tensed as her tank nosed into the chase. She saw the intake of breath and hunched posture, and she felt the forcible—but not completely effective—control of fear.
She also saw her own Resilere flattening down in reaction to it.
“Lhyn, how old were you when you left Allendohan?” she asked.
“What? Oh, um . . . seventeen.”
“Really? You left your home planet and went tromping around the galaxy at seventeen? And I thought I was independent. Where did you go?”
“Dothanor Prime. It has twelve continents. The northernmost one is the coldest place I’ve ever lived. Froze my ass off.”
Zeppy snickered.
“You think I’m kidding? Every time I went outside, I thought my nose hairs would break. But the university there has the best anthropology program in the Protectorate.”
Her com gave a soft click, the sign of an incoming call.
“Well done, Rahel.” Captain Serrado’s voice was quiet. “This is a private call. Keep her talking. Keep her mind off of it.”
“I will,” she murmured.
“Thank you. Putting you back on the group link now.”
The com clicked again.
“Didn’t the planet have axial tilt?” she asked. “It had to get warmer sometime, didn’t it?”
“Right, if you define warmer as ‘only freezing your nipples off instead of your whole ass.’”
Now Zeppy laughed outright. “There must be a lot of body parts lying in those streets.”
“Oh, the locals were fine with it. I think they were born with ice cubes in their mouths. It was just us foreign students suffering.”
Rahel noted with considerable satisfaction that her Resilere were fluffing out again. Lhyn was controlling her fear more effectively.
She and Zeppy kept Lhyn engaged as they trundled along, taking turns asking questions or making observations. She wondered if Captain Serrado had contacted Zeppy as well, or if he was naturally that perceptive.
They had a brief hiccup when some of the Resilere in Zeppy’s tank were sloshed around a little too much while going up and over a conduit ramp. Lhyn played home and friend again, and Rahel projected safe as well as she could. Eventually they settled down.
It was a long, slow trudge out, and she was exceedingly happy when they rounded the last turn. The distant rectangle of light signified that their escort already had the door open. “Almost there,” she said. “That’s the exit up ahead.”
“It is? Oh, thank all the deities.” Lhyn paused. “Are you sure we came out the same way we went in? I’d swear it was a shorter trip.”
Rahel lowered her head and smiled.
Zeppy backed into the corridor, pulling his tank out of the way. Lhyn followed, a blast of relief billowing through the chase as she cleared the door. Rahel’s Resilere fluffed out, their eye stalks swiveling as they absorbed Lhyn’s emotion and their changing scenery. She glanced down and realized that somewhere along the way, the recovered one had eaten another mineral block.
“Welcome back,” Captain Serrado said. She was standing with Commander Cox, Commander Jalta, and six security officers. The only one not wearing a sidearm was Jalta.
“You have no idea how happy I am to be out here.” Lhyn walked over and threw her arms around the captain.
Serrado was startled but quickly recovered, tightening her grip and murmuring something Rahel couldn’t hear.
“I am,” Lhyn said, pulling away. “They helped. They kept me distracted. And I was really more worried about the Resilere than myself.”
“Let’s see if we can get them to a point where we can stop worrying about them,” Jalta said.
“Sayana and I will go first.” Zeppy began pushing his tank forward. “The lift could handle all three tanks, but it would be a tight fit with the three of us, too. Lhyn, you’ll come in the next car.”
“Understood,” Lhyn and Rahel said at the same time.
Commander Cox fell into step beside Rahel. “You’re learning Fleet speak.”
“Better sooner than later. Commander, are you personally guarding me?”
He rumbled a soft sound of amusement. “Are you insulted?”
“Mildly. But I’ll overlook it this time. I’m a little preoccupied with Resilere.”
“You’re going to test me, I can tell. But you have a lot of promise. Please tell me you’re coming to my section.”
“I don’t know,” she hedged. “Will I have to watch assheads in the brig?”
His smile dropped. “You’d be better at it than a few of my officers. They paid with a concussion and a fractured jaw, so I hope the lesson will sink in. They broke protocol going into his cell without establishing his position and compliance. The power outage was only half of his opportunity. Breaking protocol was the other half.”
“Were those officers by any chance the ones I put down my first week here?”
“How did you guess?”
She shook her head. “If I join your section, I’ll have to establish dominance.”
“We don’t work that way in Fleet—”
“Yes, you do. I’ve already seen it. You don’t officially work that way, but Gaians aren’t that different from Alseans when it comes to settling who’s in charge.”
“I’m in charge, First Guard.”
“Not when you’re not there.”
“Seeders preserve my patience,” he grumbled. “I knew I’d need migraine meds.”
“I spent my first two weeks here trying desperately not to do anything wrong. That got me in more trouble than I imagined. I can’t be anything but what I am, Commander. It works best if I’m true to myself.”
He gave her a sideways look, one corner of his mouth tilting up. “It works best that way for everyone. I’ll take your words under advisement. But we’ll probably have to have a few talks about protocols and chain of command.”
“Probably,” she agreed, and smiled at his short bark of laughter.
When they reached the lift, she pushed her tank past Lhyn’s. It made sense for her to go with Zeppy, who had no prior connection to the Resilere. Her presence would hopefully keep them calm, and Lhyn wouldn’t feel as crowded in a car by herself. Though she suspected Captain Serrado would be accompanying her.
Cox came in with them, stepping in last and facing the doors. Rahel crouched down, looking into the tanks and projecting safe and protect for the duration of the ride. Thank Fahla these lifts were so quick; the Resilere barely had time to react before the doors opened onto hydroponics.
“Great Mother,” she breathed. “Look at that!”
A whole section of the bay had been cleared of plants and set up with two low-sided square tanks, each of which covered a larger area than all three of hers put together.
They were the same size as the footprint of a lift, she realized.
Smaller containers in the tanks offered hiding spots, mineral blocks were scattered throughout, and the water rippled with the seawater rain falling from above. Standing on platforms were two of the packing crates she had seen on the briefing room display, back when everyone thought they were dealing with something terrifying.
In the end, the most terrifying thing had been the cargo crew.
“Don’t you think I’ve got a flair for decoration?” White teeth flashed against dark skin as Zeppy grinned. “I could have a second career once I retire from Fleet.”
“Don’t count on that,” Cox said. “The crates clash.”<
br />
“What?”
“Wrong color. They don’t go with the containers in the tanks.”
Rahel snickered. She was liking Cox more and more.
Behind them, the lift doors opened and Lhyn pushed out her tank. Sure enough, the captain was with her.
“Zeppy, did you set up the frequency analyzers?” Lhyn asked breathlessly.
“I did. Speakers and hydrophones in the tanks, cams mounted for every possible angle, analyzers set to transmit to your pad and Commander Kenji’s office. It’s all ready, Dr. Rivers.”
“Shippers, I can’t wait to see this.”
“You’re seeing it from outside,” Serrado said.
“Ekatya—”
“There is no predicting the behavior of twelve parents protecting their eggs or hatchlings and you know it. Everyone is watching this from outside.” She met Rahel’s eyes. “But I think the Resilere would benefit from your presence, if you feel comfortable with that.”
“I do,” Rahel said hurriedly. Miss this chance? Not in ten lifetimes.
Serrado nodded. “Thought you might. As Lhyn said earlier, I’d like them to associate one of us with something positive, not just the absence of negatives. If they associate you with the safety of their families, we’ll have an easier time getting them home.”
“Understood, Captain.”
“So envious,” Lhyn grumbled.
They pushed their tanks toward the larger ones. The Resilere began reacting before they got there, arms spreading across the tank walls and each other as they shifted anxiously. They saw the new environment and wanted out.
“Let’s not keep them waiting,” Serrado said. “Good luck, First Guard.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
They jogged out of the bare zone and rounded the nearest rack of plants, vanishing behind the greenery. Rahel saw only glimpses as they threaded their way through racks and past thick tree trunks, but she could see the main doors. Soon they opened, then closed again.
“We’re out,” Serrado said.
“Acknowledged. I’m freeing them now.”
She pushed up the lid on Rez’s tank. It took some effort to break the seal, but once she did, it came off in a smooth slide.
Rez exploded out and leaped into the nearest environment, then dashed into every corner as it explored. The other two followed more carefully.
She noted that the last mineral block was gone. The recovered Resilere must have taken it while she was talking with Cox.
There was one object remaining in the tank, however: Lhyn’s com. She thought it was a good sign that Rez had concluded it was no longer needed.
When she opened the second tank, one of the Resilere thoroughly splashed her in its scramble out. It raced into the same environment as the others and swam to another Resilere, which lit up in joyous greeting as they touched each other.
Rez and Rez-Two were back together.
In the last tank, the remaining six were sliding over each other in such a constant motion that she was afraid they might hurt themselves trying to get out before she had the lid off. “Calm down,” she said, for all the good it did.
They took half the tank water with them in their rush to leave. Rahel laughed as she wiped her face.
“They’re all out,” she reported. “And I’m drenched again.”
“Don’t expect me to feel sorry for you,” Lhyn said. “You’re in there and I’m out here.”
“How long are you going to sulk?”
“Years.”
She looked over the tanks, now full of happy Resilere with room to move, and realized how well-planned the environment was. The rain had been carefully arranged to cover the tanks and crates, but nothing else. It would hydrate the hatchlings when they came out, and keep the adults hydrated if they chose to sit by the crates, but otherwise, no water was wasted. The tanks themselves were plumbed with stand pipes, which kept the water at a constant level while allowing a renewing supply from the rain.
“Ingenious,” she murmured.
A sudden blast of shock brought up her head. One of the Resilere had climbed onto a ramp and was rippling toward a crate. It went inside and burst into a brilliant pattern of all three colors, flooding Rahel’s senses with euphoria.
In almost perfect synchrony, the other eleven swarmed out as well. At first, all twelve were playing the same pattern in a dizzying display, but soon there were small differences as they moved about, taking up every bit of the crates as they hung from the tops and sides. They could not stop touching their eggs, holding one in each free arm, then setting them down and picking up others.
“My stars, you should see what they’re saying.” Lhyn’s elation could be heard in her voice. “If you could hear in their frequency, you’d probably be deafened. What do you feel?”
What did she feel? So much that she couldn’t separate it out, much less put words to it. “Um. They are . . .” She cleared her throat. “Well, imagine you thought your children were dead, and then someone took you to a room and there they were, alive—”
“They’re overwhelmed,” Dr. Wells said quietly. “Joy and relief and confusion and more joy. If they’re like us in their emotional responses, it’s not so easy to let go of the belief that your child is dead. It might be a while before it sinks in.”
Rahel cringed at her asinine choice of words. “Yes, overwhelming. Like having a bucket of water poured over my head and trying to feel the individual drops. I can’t describe it.”
One of the Resilere burst out of a crate, rippled into the water, and swam directly to her.
“I think this is Rez,” was all she got out before Rez climbed up on the edge of the tank, not a handspan away from her, and reached out with four arms. Its eye stalks were fully extended despite being in the air, and the vertical pupils were focused on her.
She stood still as the four armtips traced over her face, her shoulders, her arms, then wrapped around her wrists and gently pulled.
“It wants—oh,” she said. “It wants me to touch its body.”
She let her hands come in contact, the new-leaf softness now slippery with water, and—
She was digging frantically through the wreckage of her mother’s workshop, so shattered by the blast that only stones and dust remained. A gleam of metal shone through, the jagged base of what had once been a sculpture made by her mother’s hand. The sight destroyed the wall she had built around her grief, leaving her open to the searing agony.
“No!” she screamed. “No! No, no, no, no . . .”
“Fahla,” she gasped, tears rolling down her face. “Why are you showing me this?”
The arms coiled around her wrists, refusing to let her pull back. She took a shuddering breath, and—
“Sweet shekking Fahla in a moonbeam, it’s good to hear your voice,” Sharro said. “You have no idea how much we worried.”
Her existence collapsed to a single, stunning possibility. Unwilling to believe, terrified to hope, she choked out a single word.
“We?”
“Hold on, let me get your mother. She’s been frantic all day, and even worse since the battle ended.”
She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe and she couldn’t move, because her mother was alive, and it was too much. The whole world was torn apart, but her mother lived.
She came out of the memory so off balance that she would have fallen but for Rez’s firm grip.
“I understand,” she managed. She wiped her cheeks on first one shoulder, then the other. “Your world is torn apart, but your children live. You thought you lost them, and now they’re back, but the extremes of emotion—nothing can describe it. Joy and grief, side by side.”
“Rahel.” Dr. Wells sounded worried. “What is it doing to you?”
“Showing me. Their grief at losing their eggs—no Gaian or Alsean parent could suffer any more. They were devastated. Having them back is euphoria and salvation, but . . .”
“But salvation doesn’t magically erase their gri
ef. Not yet.” Dr. Wells paused, then spoke curtly. “I’m going on record as being in agreement with Dr. Rivers. That cargo crew got what they deserved.”
Rahel hardly heard her as a new memory rose up. She was—
On the deck of Blacksun Temple in her new dress uniform, facing a regal-looking Salomen.
“I am overjoyed to stand with you now,” Salomen said. “I have learned the pain of causing harm—and the great, healing gift of forgiveness.”
“Shekking Mother on a burning boat,” she blurted.
“What is it? What did you see?” Lhyn asked.
“My oath ceremony. When Salomen publicly acknowledged hurting me and accepted my forgiveness. I think Rez is saying they forgive us.”
“And possibly apologizing for Murray,” Captain Serrado said.
“Fucking stars,” Lhyn muttered. “This is so far off the charts I don’t know how I’ll write it up.”
Rez’s arms loosened and uncoiled, a smooth slide that only gradually released her. Two arms pulled back, while the other two lightly traced her palms. Then it slipped into the water, swam to the other side, and rippled up the ramp. In moments it had vanished into the cluster of Resilere. She could no longer tell them apart.
She wiped her face again and looked back with a sudden realization. If she couldn’t tell the Resilere apart, was there any reason to think they could tell Gaians apart? She was the only one who was different.
“Fate and Fahla,” she whispered.
She was meant to be here.
35
Song of life
Erik could not believe what he was seeing. Sayana had practically hugged that brain-eating alien! And now—was she wiping tears? What in all the bounteous fucks was that about?
One thing he knew for sure: she truly was a freak. Sholokhov was right to want her gone. Alseans didn’t belong in the Protectorate at all, but they especially shouldn’t be allowed in Fleet. Military might and mental invaders were a disastrous combination.
It had given him pause, though, seeing Serrado and Cox. They were obviously waiting right outside the main doors, probably watching everything on the security cams. He would have to move carefully to avoid being seen until the moment of his strike.
Resilience Page 27
