by M. A. Lee
Finally, the band started to play, and I was thankful for the distraction. Isaac stood and offered his hand to Lauren and together they joined a crowd that was growing near the stage. Everyone was dancing and having fun. I sat and watched, smiling and happy for Lauren and how carefree she looked dancing with Isaac.
“Do you uh...” Cole began, nervously glancing at the dance floor. Several couples were engaged in some serious hot-in-heavy dancing action on the dance floor and he and I were left alone at the table.
I laughed and shook my head. “No. I am not a good dancer.” I mused.
“Good, I hate dancing.” Cole stated. “Besides, I am kind of enjoying sitting here talking with you. Crazy, right?” he laughed.
“Yeah, it doesn’t suck as much as I thought it would.” I smirked, taking a sip of the margarita Lauren had ordered me.
Throughout the evening, I caught myself fantasizing about Cole’s lips and what they would feel like gracing my lips. Each time the images floated through my brain, I would try to think of something, anything but Cole. I thought about my grandmother, work, and planned my next semesters courses as I attempted to keep my mind clean and away from the naughty thoughts that included Cole and myself. Several times I had to shake the feeling off, fearing I might lunge across the table and act on my insane impulses. His presence was causing an ache deep inside me that made me shiver with excitement. I took another sip of my drink, nervously praying it would cloud my brain and remove the fog of desire that filled the space. Thankfully, Cole was immersed in a single conversation about himself. I learned a lot of new things about Cole during our conversation. His true passion was working at a local garage. He worked on high-end sports cars and luxury cars.
“Yeah, I never had anything nice growing up. Got moved around a lot.” Cole said as he took a sip of water. He cleared his throat and leaned back in his seat before continuing. “My mom couldn’t stay off drugs, and I never met my dad. Lived with a few family members, a foster home or two, then ended up with my aunt for a while. That’s how I met Isaac. He and Kat lived next to my aunt. They were the only kids who were nice to me.” He peered at Isaac who was still dancing with Lauren. “Anyway, I would always see someone driving a BMW or Mercedes and would just think to myself, ‘man,’ one day I want to drive one of those,” he said, smiling as he talked. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he talked about what he loved to do.
“That must have been hard.” I said, watching him closely. His story was pulling at my heartstrings as he opened up to me. I was thankful for the change of emotions filling my body. This could be just what I needed with Cole. We could be friends, people who share their thoughts, but nothing more.
“It wasn’t too bad. I appreciate what I have now, because I work hard for it. Plus, you really know who cares about you when things get hard.” He said flatly.
I knew exactly what he meant. After the accident, I had lost all of my friends and some of my family members had even refused to speak to me anymore. My life had changed completely. Lauren had been the only friend who still talked to me; actually, she was the only one who cared to see how I was most of the time. Sure, my parents checked in every Sunday, but they didn’t care to know how I really felt. Growing up, they traveled a lot. My dad was an attorney and my mom had the privilege of being a stay at home wife. My mom always had some charity meeting or function, and my dad was always working. I kind of grew up alone. Lauren had lived down the street from me, and her dad worked with mine. She was the only other person who knew what it felt like to have anything and everything you ever could want, but feel lonely at the same time.
“I know what you mean.” I said, smiling.
Cole changed the subject as he began talking about a car he was working on right now at the shop he works at, a beautiful 1969 candy red Camaro. His eyes lit up and sparkled as he talked about the car. I almost felt jealousy over the inanimate object for sparking so much interest and desire in Cole. As he continued, I learned that the owner wanted the car fully restored and he said it was the dream gig he had always hoped for. Just as he was talking about how he got to drive it to check the engine, I saw a figure approaching.
As I turned my head, I felt my stomach drop and the air rushed out of me. I felt like I had been punched in the gut as nausea swept over me. Shifting nervously in my seat, I felt my blood begin to boil and my body shake. There he was, my ex-fiancé, the man who broke my heart and destroyed my world two years ago. He was the reason I got into my car that night, he was the reason I was so distraught that I didn’t see the oncoming car. He was the reason she was dead. Noticing my flushed face, Cole grabbed my hand.
“Are you ok?” he asked, his voice full of concern. He began eyeing me carefully as he watched the total shift in my body.
Shaking my head, no, I watched as Brody, my ex, swept past my table and sat at a table diagonally across from us. He was with a tall girl with long dark hair and legs for days. It was funny, she almost looked like me, just thinner, taller, and obviously sluttier.
Following my gaze, Cole looked at Brody who was now watching me with a sickening smirk on his face. It was undeniable he was trying to piss me off. He pulled the girl close to him, caressing her arm as he whispered something in her ear. Giggling, she looked up and kissed his cheek. I almost vomited at the sight.
“Who is that?” Cole asked, a hint of anger rising in his voice.
“That,” I said, trying to swallow the bile that was rising in my throat, “is my ex-fiancé. He cheated on me with my best friend two years ago. I caught them in bed. And then...” I couldn’t finish my sentence. It was too painful to think about what followed after I left the apartment that night. Catching Brody with my best friend Alice at that moment felt like the worst thing that could have happened to me. I thought in that moment, that my heart couldn’t withstand any more pain. But, the storm that came only a few minutes later, shattered the remains of my heart and filled my body and soul with more devastation and misery than I ever thought a human could endure. Before that night, I was a happy person. I loved life, I loved my friends and the prospects of what my future would hold. Now, I am the shell of the person I once was. My eyes no longer sparkle with hope, instead they are full of gloom and memories from a storm that flooded the hearts of everyone involved.
“Wow,” Cole exhaled as he turned his attention back to me. “I can’t believe someone would do something like that to you. He must be an idiot,” he stated, frustration ringing from his voice. “But, what happened when you left the apartment?” he asked, his eyes searching mine for answers.
At that moment, I began to freak out. I was not prepared to see Brody, and I definitely wasn’t prepared to tell anyone about what happened after I left. Before I could open my mouth and diffuse the situation, Brody got up and sauntered over to our table.
Holding out his hand, Brody smiled down at me as he spoke. “Hello Melanie,” he began, his eyes twitching with mischief as he tormented me. Brody knew that I detested him, that I blamed him and myself for everything that happened two years ago. Only, he didn’t think he was to blame. “It’s nice to see that you finally crawled out of that hole you’ve been living in.” he said, amusement in his voice.
“Screw you,” I snapped, my voice so sharp it could have cut glass. “Get away from me, Brody.”
Standing firm, Brody took a sip of the beer he was drinking. “Now, Melanie. You always had a nasty mouth on you, but I don’t remember you being this angry,” he said, trying to look concerned.
Shoving his chair back, Cole stood, his body blocking mine as he towered over Brody who suddenly cowered underneath him. “I think you need to back off. Melanie clearly doesn’t want to talk to you, so just go back to your table.” Cole kept his eyes focused on Brody’s face, which was still plastered with a smug grin.
I stood now too, seeing that this situation could escalate quickly. Noticing the commotion, we had caused, Lauren and Isaac returned to our table. Running to my side, Lauren hugged me closely to her.
&nbs
p; “Get lost Brody,” Lauren cried out, shoving him with her free arm.
“Watch it Lauren,” Brody sneered as he stumbled back. “We don’t want both of you girls hurting anyone.” he mocked as he locked eyes with me.
Pushing between us, Cole and Isaac were now yelling at Brody, threatening him and causing a huge scene. I began to sob, slowly at first only a few tears falling, then it was like a damn broke. I was shaking with anger as I felt my fists clench. I wanted to hit Brody, I wanted to ram my fist into his face until he felt the pain I felt inside.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I lunged forward, jumping out of Lauren’s grasp and past Isaac and Cole. My fist made impact with Brody’s jaw first, then I began wailing on him with such force I could feel my knuckles cracking beneath each hit. People around me started screaming, and chairs were being scattered around the area. I felt someone lift me off the ground and as I continued to hit and kick, I was carried out of the bar and into the cool evening air. Once I was placed on the pavement in the parking lot, I began to see clearly again. Lauren was running out the door, yelling profanities to someone, I assume Brody, who was still inside.
Isaac was standing in front of me, and talking, but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying. Cole still had hold of me around the waist, but I was standing on my own. He was breathing heavy, and I could feel his hot breaths on the back of my neck.
“I am so sorry,” I cried as I turned around and looked at Cole. “I am not crazy,” I pleaded.
Offering a devilish grin, Cole watched me. “I like crazy,” he said with a hint of danger in his voice.
Running over and hugging me, Lauren hushed me as she swept me in her arms. “Of course you are not crazy, Mel. Brody is a complete ass. You should have gone psycho on him years ago. How dare him taunt you like that. He knows how sensitive that subject is.” Lauren wiped away my tears as she continued to console me.
Smiling, Cole just stood and watched me. His expression looked almost lustful as he watched me shake and try to calm myself down.
“That was hot,” Cole announced, his eyes traveling down my body. “I have never seen someone fight like that before.”
Mortified, I held my face in my hands. What I did was not hot, it was stupid. I should never have allowed Brody to provoke me to the point of violence. Sure, it felt good to hit him, but I knew what I did was wrong.
“No, I shouldn’t have done that. I was wrong.” I said flatly. “He pushed my buttons, and I exploded. I allowed the storm to take over.”
“I need to get you home,” Lauren said as she reached into her purse for her keys. “Thanks guys for the drinks.” She said sadly.
“We don’t have to end our date now,” Isaac said as he stepped forward. “This was the most fun I have had in a long time. I was just getting to know you. You all want to go get something to eat? There’s a sports bar a few blocks away with great wings and nachos.” He smiled brightly, and I could tell he really did want to spend more time with Lauren.
“You guys go ahead.” I said. I knew Lauren really liked him, and they needed time away from us to talk.
“Are you sure?” Lauren asked, almost jumping up-and-down with excitement.
“Yes,” I replied. “I will walk back to the apartment; I could use some fresh air.”
Leaning in and kissing my cheek, Lauren hugged me. “You are the best,” she whispered in my ear as she skipped over to Isaac.
“I will walk her home,” Cole said as he stepped toward me.
“That’s a great idea,” Lauren shrieked as she was already walking with Isaac.
“I am ok. It’s not that far of a walk to our apartment.” I said, hoping he wouldn’t press the issue. Of course I was wrong.
“No. I am not about to let you walk alone in the dark. Especially not looking like that,” he added looking me up and down almost like I was a tempting piece of candy.
Realizing I wasn’t going to win this argument, I sighed and motioned for him to follow me. As we began walking the short blocks back to my apartment, I felt the awkwardness grow between us. The air was cool, it was mid-September, which meant in Kentucky the days were hot but the nights were crisp. It was my favorite time of year. The leaves were turning beautiful reds and oranges, there was a sense of change that came with the new season. We passed by a few more bars, the doors open revealing large crowds of people inside, talking and chatting over music blaring from speakers hanging throughout the tiny spaces.
After two blocks, Cole finally broke the silence.
“So, you and Lauren live together?” he asked, obviously reaching for something to talk about.
Appreciating his attempt to break the awkward silence filling the space between us, I smiled. “Yes, we moved in together after high school. We both were accepted into the University of Kentucky; it was our dream to go to college together. It just made sense that we would be roommates. Plus, I think it made our parents feel better knowing we had each other to protect, since neither of us wanted to live at home while attending college.” I paused for a moment before continuing. “To be honest, that really wasn’t the original plan. That guy back there, Brody. He and I were engaged. We were going to move in together once we got married. But, that didn’t work out.” I stopped talking. The protective barrier I had built surrounding my heart was locking up again, prohibiting me from providing Cole with any more information.
Nodding his head, Cole continued walking.
“Look, I don’t want to push you to talk about something you aren’t ready to discuss. But, it seems like there is more to the story than that guy cheating on you.” Cole stopped walking and turned to face me. I stopped, too, and sucked in a deep breath.
I stared up at the black sky, watching the stars twinkle above. They seemed so small in comparison to how large the vast open sky really is. “There is more to the story. Something happened after I caught Brody with Alice. I...” I stopped and swallowed. I was starting to shake again, afraid of what I was about to say. “I did something bad.” I started crying again, humiliated that Cole had now seen me cry twice and try to fight someone. He really must think I am insane.
Without warning, he pulled me into his arms and held me tight. Feeling his large biceps around my tiny frame made me cry harder. This was the first time in a very long time a male had hugged me and it felt real and sincere. He allowed me to cry. He allowed the showers to explode from my eyes and rain all over his shirt. We just stood there, in the middle of the sidewalk, on a dark night, me crying and Cole holding me.
Suddenly, Cole reached into my small purse and shuffled for my phone. He retrieved it and began typing something into my contact list. Stunned, I watched him steal my phone then go through my information. Grinning, Cole handed back my phone. He didn’t even seem the least bit sorry for his intrusion of my personal space.
“What did you do?” I asked, still shocked from his urge to hug me, then his complete one-eighty as he stole my phone.
“I added my name and number to your contacts. Then, I texted myself so I would have your number too. Anytime you need to talk, or cry, or scream, just call me.”
My mouth was wide open, as the shock washed over me. He was treating me with such kindness after I acted like a lunatic with Brody. I didn’t deserve his kindness, but I was determined to soak it in. Without thinking, I leaned back into his solid chest and hugged him again. He smelled so wonderful and his body heat melted away my pain and worries for a moment in time. It occurred to me that I needed his embrace, and the feel of his arms around me. The vibration from his chest rising and falling with each breath he took was all becoming too much, this emotion I was feeling. For so long I had preferred to be numb than to feel anything, because everything I had felt over the last two years had been so excruciatingly painful.
Composing myself, I wiped away a tear and slowly pulled away from his embrace. Laughing, I looked up at Cole and smiled. “You are really nice.” I said.
“Maybe.” He said. “Or, you have just had some r
eally shitty people in your life.”
I considered that for a moment before nudging him to continue walking. We walked the rest of the way laughing about my encounter with Brody, and for once, it didn’t hurt to talk about him. Cole, without knowing it, was growing on me.
5
Three Years Ago
The music blaring from the speakers in the nightclub was giving me a migraine. I would never understand why Brody liked to come to places like this. I preferred a more laid back setting like a small campus bar. But, Brody usually picked where we went on the weekends, and I knew it was pointless to argue with him.
I watched as Brody ordered another round of beers for himself and his friends. I waited for my turn to order since Brody was engrossed in a conversation with his friends.
The waitress, a tall blond wearing a short skirt that barely covered her backside, left our table and headed back to the bar. Frustrated, I sighed as I realized she had completely ignored me as she flirted with my fiancé and his friends. Shouting over the music, I tried to tell Brody that I was going to head to the bar myself and get a drink. Unfortunately, Brody couldn’t hear me. Grabbing my purse, I stood from our corner table and fought through the crowds of people dancing. I was pushed and shoved and grinded on as I felt like a fish trying to swim upstream. After being assaulted numerous times, I finally made it to the packed bar. I squeezed in-between two large guys as I waited my turn for the bartender’s attention.
One guy who wore a backwards baseball-cap and a University of Kentucky t-shirt stared me down as he licked his lips and nudged his buddy. I knew he was drunk and trying to find a way to hit on me, but I ignored him.
“Hey, can I buy you a drink?” backwards cap guy asked.
“No thanks,” I replied, keeping my eyes on the rows of liquor in front of me.
Placing his hand on my shoulder, the guy began inching closer. “Come on, just one drink. You can thank me with a dance.”
Shaking my head, no, I wiggled out from underneath his touch. I secretly prayed for Brody to approach us and knock this guy out. “I said no.” I stated flatly, an edge hinting my voice.
