by Emma Quinn
“Really?” Alana asked, honestly surprised. She’d never realized he had any opinions about her clothes. “Thanks. I - uh - Jack, I’m…”
“Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?” Jack interrupted her half-formed apology gently.
“What?” Alana blinked up at him, caught totally off guard. “Dinner?”
Jack nodded. “A real dinner. I mean, your grilled cheese was delicious, but I was thinking something a bit more...formal. There’s a new sushi place that’s opened up near my office. Everyone says it’s to die for. What do you think?”
“I…” Alana didn’t know what to think. “Are you asking me on a date?” she asked, then immediately wanted to slap herself.
But Jack just chuckled. “I am,” he said.
“You’re not...not going to fire me?” she asked, her voice very small.
It was Jack’s turn to be confused. “Fire...no! That’s the last thing I want to do. I mean…” And then his voice grew unsure. “Unless...unless you’re unhappy about what happened yesterday and-”
“No!” Alana replied, shaking her head. “No! It was...You...dinner would be great,” she finished lamely.
Jack laughed. “We’re not very good at this, are we?” he asked.
Alana giggled. “No,” she agreed. “But, hey, practice makes perfect, right?”
Jack grinned down at her. “Exactly.” He looked down at his watch. “I have to go, but I’ll be back around 4. I was thinking about spending some time with Lottie before we leave.”
“That sounds like a very good idea,” said Alana, nodding. “See you tonight, then.”
Jack reached out and brushed her cheek with his thumb. “Have a good day,” he told her.
“You too,” she smiled. It was such a normal thing to say to someone, but the words sent a curl of warmth through Alana’s belly and she was sure she was grinning like an idiot, but she didn’t care.
Jack lingered a moment longer, his hand still on her cheek, then, with a lopsided smile, he turned and hurried down the hall and around the corner.
Alana sighed, happiness and relief flooding through her. A date! She was going on a date!
“Alana?”
The sound of Lottie’s voice brought Alana back down to reality. She whirled around, wondering how much Lottie had seen. But the girl had just stuck her head out of her bedroom door. “Yes, honey?” Alana asked.
“What are you doing standing in the hall?” Lottie asked, her eyebrows raised quizzically.
“Oh!” Alana waved a hand, playing it cool. “Just thinking. I don’t think that I’m totally awake yet,” she said. It wasn’t totally a lie.
Lottie giggled. “You’re weird sometimes, Alana.”
Alana smiled and shrugged, coming over to Lottie and pushing open her bedroom door. “We’re all weird sometimes, Lottie. That’s what makes us interesting.”
Lottie smiled up at her nanny. “Am I weird?” she asked, drawing Alana into her bedroom. She was already ready for school, her uniform on and her hair in a messy braid.
“In all the best ways,” Alana replied. “Now, are you hungry? What do you want to eat?”
“Mmmmm French toast?” Lottie replied, picking up her ready and waiting backpack.
“Okay,” said Alana.
Lottie paused. “But won’t I be late for school if we make French toast?”
Alana looked down at Lottie. “What do you have first today? French?”
Lottie nodded.
“Well, how about we practice your French while we make French toast and then it’ll be okay that you missed class,” Alana said. “I’ll drive you in after and tell your teacher you had a dentist appointment.”
She never allowed her children to skip school but she knew Lottie was well ahead of her classmates when it came to French and, frankly, she was so happy right now, Lottie could have asked her for the whole day off and she probably would have said yes.
“You’re going to lie to my teacher?” Lottie asked skeptically. Alana had very strict rules about lying.
“Only this once,” said Alana. “And only because it doesn’t hurt anyone. But my general lying policy still stands. I mean, unless you’d rather go to class?”
“Nope,” said Lottie, shaking her head. “I’d much rather speak French with you.” She smiled up at Alana, slipping her little hand into Alana’s much larger one. For the second time that morning, Alana felt warmth seeping through her. On an impulse, she reached down and hugged Lottie tight. Lottie hugged her back, only letting go when their stomachs both growled in unison.
“I think we may be hungry,” said Lottie, giggling.
Alana nodded and took Lottie by the hand. “Come on, kiddo,” she said. “Allons-y!”
Laughing, they headed down to the kitchen.
The day passed quickly and, sooner than Alana would have thought possible, Jack was home from work. He strolled into the kitchen where Alana and Lottie were doing math homework together, a big grin on his face and a bouquet of large pink tea roses in his hand.
“Daddy?” Lottie asked, looking up from her textbook. “You’re home so early.”
Jack nodded. “I wanted to see you,” he said, coming to stand between his daughter and Alana.
“Me?” Lottie asked, her eyebrows raising.
“Yup,” said Jack, passing his daughter the flowers. As Lottie gathered the enormous bouquet into her arms with a squeal of delight, he smiled at Alana, his dark eyes warm.
“Are these really for me?” Lottie asked. “Roses are my favorite!”
Jack laughed, brushing Lottie’s bangs back from her forehead. “I know, sweetie. Why do you think we planted them everywhere?”
Lottie grinned. “They’re beautiful.”
Jack smiled. “Just like you. Will you help me put them in some water?”
Lottie nodded, hopping off her stool and going in search of a vase.
“How are you?” Jack asked Alana as Lottie opened and closed all the cupboards in the kitchen. He reached out and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.
Alana smiled at him. “Great,” she said. “You?” She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him, but she restrained herself.
“Never been better,” he replied just as Lottie let out a satisfied ‘aha!’
Jack’s hand left hers as he went to help Lottie take one of those colorful, hand-painted Italian ceramic vases out of a cupboard. It was a bit showy for Alana’s taste, but she knew Lottie loved it. It had been her mother’s.
“And that one too,” the girl said, pointing to a large but simple glass vase.
“Two vases?” Jack asked, nonetheless taking out the glass tube and placing it on the island with the other one.
“Yeah. So that Alana can have half. She likes glass vases better.” Lottie said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Aw, honey, no. They’re your roses,” Alana protested. “And how do you know I like glass vases better?”
“Because whenever we pick flowers you always choose a glass vase. And yes, they’re my roses and I want to share them with you,” Lottie said matter-of-factly.
Alana smiled at the little girl’s simple generosity. “Thank you,” she said.
“That’s very kind of you, Lottie,” said her father, as he filled the vases with water.
Lottie just shrugged, untying the packaging around the base of the flowers. She still seemed a little unsure about her father sometimes. Alana knew Lottie longed for Jack’s attention and was probably feeling very self-conscious about his sudden interest in her. Hopefully soon her uncertainty would wear off and they could have the easy, happy relationship that they both so desperately wanted.
“Why don’t I take these flowers upstairs?” Alana offered, as Lottie and Jack finished arranging the roses in the two vases. “That way you guys can have some alone time.”
Lottie looked over at her dad, who smiled. “That would be great,” he said.
Alana smiled back and g
ot up off her stool. “Back in a minute,” she said, winking at Lottie as she gathered up the vases. She knew Jack wanted to tell Lottie about Eleanor and it would probably be better if she gave them their privacy for it. Besides, she was starting to get some serious butterflies in her stomach at the idea of going out with Jack tonight. She needed to be alone for a second so she could take a few deep breaths.
“Those are beautiful!” As luck would have it though, Maria appeared on the stairs, frightening the living daylights out of the already jittery Alana.
“Oh my God!” Alana felt her grip on the vases slip as she jumped at the sound of Maria’s voice. “Oh--!”
But Maria leapt forward and steadied the vases and Alana with her strong, tanned hands. “Did I scare you?” she asked, teasing Alana, laughter glinting in her brown eyes. “I suppose you couldn’t have seen me coming with your head in all those flowers.”
Alana smiled weakly, her heart still racing from the near disaster. “Yeah,” she agreed a little breathlessly. “I had a head full of flowers.”
“Come on,” said Maria, gently taking Lottie’s vase from Alana’s now vice-like grip. “I’ll help you. Where are these going?”
“That one’s for Lottie’s room and this one…” Alana felt herself blush a little. “Is for mine. Lottie decided she wanted to share.”
Maria laughed, heading up the stairs with Lottie’s vase in her arms. “That child is an angel when she wants to be. Which is more and more often, thanks to you. I swear, I’ve never heard her laugh so much in all my time here as she has in the last few months with you.”
Alana hurried to catch up. For a short lady, Maria certainly walked fast. “I’m glad,” she admitted. “I really like her. I don’t want her to be sad and angry.”
Maria nodded. “I think that’s the difference. Every other nanny’s just been doing their job. But with you, I think she knows you actually care about her, not just the money.”
Alana smiled. “I think so. I hope so.”
“Who brought the flowers? Did you buy them?” Maria asked changing the subject.
“No, J—Mr. Menuda,” Alana quickly corrected herself.
But Maria just laughed. “When are you going to start calling him Jack like the rest of us? There’s no need to stand on ceremony with him. With her maybe, but not with him.”
“You mean Eleanor?” Alana asked.
Maria nodded.
“I don’t think…”Alana cleared her throat. “I think they broke up,” she said.
Maria raised her eyebrows. “Really?” she asked.
“He told me he didn’t like how she treated Lottie.”
Maria snorted. “Oh, so he finally noticed, did he? Is that why he brought her flowers? To make up for letting his cock get in the way of his parenting?”
Alana bit her lip. “Do you think it was just that? I think he might have felt guilty. And maybe even resentful. It can be hard when your own child reminds you…” she left the sentence trail off.
Maria nodded. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be so hard on him. He’s had a rough few years and God knows he tries and Lottie hasn’t always made it easy for him. But Eleanor...well, good riddance, is all I can say.”
“I think he’s telling Lottie now. Hopefully this will be the start of something good,” Alana agreed.
They walked the rest of the way in contemplative silence, as Alana worked up the courage to ask: “How long were they together?”
“Oh,” Maria thought back as they entered Lottie’s room. Setting the vase on Lottie’s bedside table, Maria said, “Six months maybe? Not that long, really. But they got very serious very quickly. Honestly, I think Jack was just desperate for companionship.”
Alana nodded. “Can’t say I blame him,” she said. Inwardly, she was thinking that at least the relationship hadn’t been a long one.
Maria shrugged as they headed for Alana’s bedroom. “I just wished he’d been able to wait a little and find someone more...suitable…”
She slanted a look at Alana as she said that, but Alana wasn’t sure if she should take it as a hint or a warning. So she just said nothing.
“Anyway,” said Maria, continuing as if nothing had happened, “I should let you get back to it. And goodness knows I have enough to do myself!”
Alana grinned. “It was good to talk to you, though. I feel like I almost never see you!”
Maria laughed. “It’s true, isn’t it? Well, we’ll have to make time to have coffee soon. I’ll make us some cookies.”
“Sounds wonderful,” said Alana, and Maria waved and left her.
The roses stowed on her dresser, Alana took her time going back downstairs. She wanted to give Jack and Lottie the space they needed.
But eventually she ran out of things to do upstairs and made her way back down to the kitchen to see how they were getting on.
Even before she made it to the kitchen, however, she heard Lottie’s laughter and Jack’s low reply and she smiled. Peeking in through the partially open door, Alana watched Lottie and Jack laughing over something in Lottie’s textbook. They were leaning in together, their heads almost touching as they laughed. Alana’s smile grew wider and she kept walking, past the kitchen door and out through the pantry and into the backyard. Taking one of the thick wool wraps left hanging inside the door for just such an occasion, she sat down on a chair on the back patio and looked out over the garden. Winter was well on its way and everything was red and brown, but still beautiful in its own way. We’ll have to come out here and roast marshmallows, thought Alana, looking over at the fireplace in the center of the patio. Lottie would love that.
Alana let her thoughts drift until, suddenly, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and she jumped. The sun had set and the sky was a cold indigo. She’d fallen asleep. Blinking, she looked up at the person who’d woken her.
“Hey,” said Jack, smiling down at her.
“Hi,” she said, smiling back at him.
“Sorry,” he made a face. “Lottie and I lost track of time.”
Alana shook her head. “Don’t be. I saw you guys. She looked like she was having a great time.”
Jack nodded. “Yeah, we did. But…” his eyebrows rose plaintively, “is it too late to take you out for dinner?”
Alana laughed. “Of course not. It’s Friday.”
“Great,” Jack sighed with relief. “I saw you out here and thought I’d really messed this all up!”
Slowly, Alana got up, shivering despite the warm wool wrap. “Not at all.”
“Thanks for understanding,” said Jack, taking her hands and warming them in his. Butterflies exploded in Alana’s stomach.
“Do I...do I need to change?” she asked, looking down at her jeans.
Jack drew her closer, but not quite close enough to kiss. Alana glanced back at the house, then up at him. “No, you look beautiful,” he said. “And I’m starving.”
Alana laughed, smacking his chest gently. “Oh sure, you just don’t want to wait for me.”
Jack laughed and shook his head, leading her back to the house. “No! Well… only a little. But, no, in all seriousness, you do look amazing in skinny jeans.”
Alana blushed, but couldn’t keep a snort of laughter from escaping.
And, still laughing, they went to grab their coats and headed out for dinner, managing to sneak out with anyone seeing them. When they came back four hours later, they were still laughing.
For the next three weeks Alana woke up every morning with a smile on her face and the memory of Jack’s lips on hers lingering from the night before. Then, early one Sunday morning, Lottie came into Alana’s room wearing a very serious expression, closing the door softly behind herself.
“Hey, kiddo,” said Alana, sitting up in bed. “What’s up? Is something wrong?” Lottie never came into Alana’s room uninvited - especially not without knocking.
Lottie bit her lip. Her hair was in the braid Alana had given her the night before, but strands had come loose and mussed.
She was still in her pyjamas and the rabbit-shaped slippers, which were so cute they made Alana melt every time she saw them. Quietly, Lottie crossed the room to stand next to Alana’s bed.
“Come on,” said Alana, patting the bed next to her. Silently she thanked God she’d come back to her own bed last night, despite Jack’s pleas for her to stay.
Obediently, Lottie hopped up next to Alana.
“Honey, what’s up? You’re never this quiet.”
This made Lottie smile a little, but it faded quickly. “Alana…” she began. “Are you and my dad...are you, you know...together?”
Alana blinked. “What makes you think we are?” she asked, sitting up straighter in bed.
Lottie shrugged. “The way you look at each other. Like you’re sharing a joke that nobody else knows.”
Alana nodded. “Does that make you feel left out?” she asked.
Lottie shook her head. “Not really. Whenever dad’s around you never try to take his attention. It’s just, like, between things, you guys look at each other.” Lottie looked down at her knees then up at Alana. “I think it would be really great if you and my dad were in love because then you could be my second mom and not just my nanny and that means you’d never leave and we could be together forever.” She said all of this very quickly without taking a breath and then went right back to looking at her knees.
Alana smiled and leaned forward to take Lottie’s hand. “I’m glad you want me to stay,” she said. “I want to stay too. And your dad and me...we’re...well, sometimes being an adult is pretty complicated. You’ll have to ask your dad for his opinion, but I like him a lot. And I hope that everything works out and we can all stay together. But sometimes it’s not that easy.”
Lottie grinned and launched herself into Alana’s arms, resting her head on Alana’s shoulder. “I always hoped that you and dad would fall in love. It was like my secret wish. And you’re so pretty and funny I figured dad would have to fall in love with you.”
Alana laughed, smoothing Lottie’s hair. “If only it were that easy,” she said. “But there’s a lot more to being in love than being pretty and funny.”
