And if he didn’t do something fast, she’d die.
Fourteen
Even as she felt herself fading, Kali didn’t regret giving herself to Sion so completely. It’s what she’d always dreamed of once she understood she loved him. She’d finally seen a side of him that had only been a hope inside her heart.
The side that showed he loved her too.
However, she hadn’t expected him to be as affected by her blood as he was. Feeding and making love for nearly an hour had drained her of virtually all her energy to the point that even lifting her head required too much effort. If she could feed from him again, though, she could probably be okay.
“Kali, open your eyes. Open your eyes for me,” Sion ordered in a desperate voice.
Her eyelids fluttered open slowly, and she saw his worried face just inches from hers. Clutching his hand, she said faintly, “I think I need to feed again, if that’s okay.”
The stress disappeared from his expression and he smiled. “Of course. I…I didn’t mean…I didn’t realize how long we’d gone. I didn’t mean to drain you like this.”
“I understand. I just need a little blood and I’ll feel a hundred times better.”
He carefully rolled her onto her back and offered his wrist, but then he apologized and bent his head to expose his neck. “I’m sorry. You can feed from anywhere you want. I didn’t mean to make it seem that you have to go back to my wrist.”
Kali couldn’t help but smile. “Your wrist is fine, Sion. It’s probably the easiest way too since I really don’t have the energy to sit up.”
“I can lift you up and hold you, if you want to feed from my neck.”
Cradling his face, she looked up into his grey eyes and loved that he was so worried about her. “It’s okay. I’ll just stick with your wrist. If you can just bring it down to my mouth, that would help.”
He gently pressed his wrist to her lips, and she bit into the soft skin to penetrate the vein she’d fed from all those times at the monastery. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander back to those wonderful nights when the two of them would spend hours poring over her books and then quietly sit together as she fed from him. No words ever needed to be spoken between them because what they shared needed no explanation.
She’d loved him from that first time when he sat with her all night studying the Prophecy of Idolas for any clues as to how to defeat the Archons. There in that dark cellar beneath Vasilije’s home she’d seen what few others had in Sion.
A kindness and gentleness he intentionally seemed to keep hidden from his fellow Sons and everyone else, but with her he’d gradually showed night after night.
To everyone else, Sion was the Son who was more machine than anything else. In his spare time, he repaired every appliance in the monastery, from the dishwasher to the garbage disposal, in addition to building an army of drones he claimed would help when the battle began.
When he wasn’t tinkering with them, he sat with her as she labored to find the answers the Sons needed to win this war. No one else helped more with data searches and deciphering the codes so frequently used in the Prophecy of Idolas. When others couldn’t make head nor tails of the passages she studied, it was Sion who helped her see what only mathematics could show.
He was her opposite, the darkness to her light, and together they created a wholeness that she’d never experienced before with anyone else in all the centuries she’d been a vampire.
She’d never told him any of this, though. Emotions weren’t what they ever shared all those hours together in Romania. But for Kali, the feelings he brought out in her that no one else ever could grew with each moment he sat next to her and listened to all her theories, no matter how silly or far-fetched.
As those memories filled her mind, she smiled and he asked, “Are you feeling better?”
Pulling her mouth from him, she nodded. “A little. I think I might need more, though, if that’s okay. Our last…” She hesitated as she wondered what to call that hour of sex. “Our last session just took a lot out of me.”
A bashful look crossed his face at her mention of their lovemaking session. That a man who was not only a vampire but one of the elite Sons of Navarus and almost emotionless to the rest of the world could be awkward about sex charmed her.
“I didn’t realize. I’m sorry,” he said as he hung his head.
Kali giggled. “It’s okay. No need to be sorry. I just have to remember that you feeding from me while we do that isn’t the best idea yet. My blood is too ancient and powerful.”
Sion’s shoulders sagged. “I sound like a lightweight when you say it that way.”
“Since you haven’t been with an ancient before, you aren’t used to the kind of blood we have. If it makes you feel better, most vampires have a hard time with us.”
“It doesn’t, but thanks for trying.”
She took his arm and gently brought it back to her mouth. Pressing her lips to his wrist, she began to draw blood once again from his vein, loving the feel of him feeding her just as she always had. He likely had no idea how much being with him like this meant to her, but that didn’t matter. She’d been around long enough to know that not everything someone felt in their heart had to be shared.
It was enough that when she looked up at him she saw caring in his eyes. For a man like him, that meant so much more than any words he could say.
She finished taking his blood into her and carefully closed the holes in his wrist. As she closed her eyes, she remembered how he preferred to close them himself, and her eyes flew open with worry.
“I’m so sorry, Sion. I know you prefer to close the holes yourself. I was just lulled into a relaxed state from feeding. I really am sorry.”
Smiling, he shook his head. “It’s nothing you should apologize for. I had my reasons for wanting to close them myself, but those don’t really matter anymore.”
His answer intrigued her. What could he mean by that? “Why don’t they matter anymore?”
He caressed her cheek with his palm and stared down at her with a look so full of gentleness that she felt herself getting lost in his grey eyes. And then when he spoke, it was like he knew the exact words to say to her to make her feel loved.
“I used to have you leave them open so I could taste you on my skin. I don’t have to do that anymore.”
Kali’s heart swelled from happiness just hearing those words. “No, you don’t. You can taste me any way you want, whenever you want.”
Bending down to lightly kiss her, he whispered against her lips, “Good. I like that. Now rest for a little bit.”
“I’m not really tired. If you would, I’d like to talk a little.”
“What would you like to talk about?”
Knowing she couldn’t run away from what he’d found her like, Kali took a deep breath and sat up beside him. Weaving her fingers in his, she looked down at them and said quietly, “I can tell you that I won’t touch that stuff again, but I don’t know if I can live up to that promise.”
A pained look settled into his chiseled features and he frowned, making her feel even worse for admitting the truth about her Bliss addiction. “I’m the wrong man to help you through this.”
“What do you mean the wrong man?”
“You need someone who can understand you and what the Bliss does to you. I don’t know what to do when your emotions take over. The only reason I didn’t screw things up tonight is we ended up having sex. If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have known how to handle what you were going through. You’d be so much better off with Terek or someone like him who would know what to do and the right words to say.”
Kali caressed his hand and brought it to her lips to kiss. “I don’t want Terek. I want you.”
Sion leaned back away from her and took his hand. “I’m not what you need. I’m practically a machine and have no emotions, so how can I understand how to help you kick this thing? I think if I asked him, Terek would be happy to come here and help you. May
be that would make the difference so you could get off the Bliss because I’m not helping.”
“No! Don’t do this. Don’t blame yourself for my problems. I don’t need anyone else. I’ll figure it out on my own. I promise.”
He remained silent for so long she worried her pleas had fallen on deaf ears. She knew what he was saying, and the truth was he was right. She probably would do better with someone like Terek to help her through her addiction. Terek would gently help her see she didn’t need that shit in her life while Sion barely knew the words to say even in the best of times.
That still didn’t change how she felt about him. She knew she had to kick the Bliss, and she would. If not for herself, then for Sion and the responsibility she felt toward the Sons.
“I want to help, Kali. I do. But I don’t know how to.”
“Believe it or not, feeding from me seems to have taken the strength out of the Bliss inside me. I was pretty out of it when you got here tonight, but once you started feeding from me, I felt better. That’s something we can do to fight it, right?”
He smiled, but she suspected something forced about it.
“I guess that’s a good thing then. I’ll just have to get used to your ancient blood quicker.”
“See? It’s not all bad.”
For hours, she lay in Sion’s arms as he held her through the shakes and chills that came from her missing the drug. He said very little, but gradually he began to open up about his life before meeting her. She sensed he held a great deal back, but that was nothing new with him. For every detail he shared, she knew there were dozens he kept inside.
Like an iceberg, what Sion showed was very little compared to what truly existed in him.
And for the first time ever with her, he showed her emotions. When she told him the story of how she’d been turned vampire, including how violent her sire had been with her that first night, she heard anger rise in his voice and felt his body tense up next to her.
Looking up at him, she tried to soothe the newfound rage from him. “I survived. That was a long, long time ago, and I’m stronger for all I’ve had to endure.”
He pulled her close and said in a low voice near her ear, “No vampire should treat his own that way. He’s no better than the Archon who terrorized Solenne.”
Kali knew she should reveal the true identity of her sire, if only to make sure that Sion was prepared if he ever found them, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. Part of it was fear. Magistrate Consera had become a very powerful and important vampire after all these years, and even though Sion was a Son of Navarus, he’d never be strong enough to defeat him alone. Kali had seen what her sire did to vampires who crossed him, and her love for Sion meant he would see the Son as an enemy even if he wasn’t working to defeat him and the Archons.
While her sire may not have ever cared one bit for her, she knew he saw her as his—his vampire, his property, his to do with as he saw fit. And if he ever found out how she loved Sion, he’d make it his mission in life to see that he suffered horribly before he met his final death.
“Tell me about your life. I’m sure it’s nowhere as sad and boring as mine has been,” she said, hoping to change the subject. When she was in Sion’s arms, she didn’t want to think about her sire and what the future may hold.
“I wouldn’t call working with the Sons of Navarus boring. You’re an important part of what we’re doing to save our world. We couldn’t do it without you, and once you feel better, I have no doubt what you decipher from those books of yours will make all the difference.”
“You’re trying to deflect from telling me about your life,” she said with a smile as she turned in his hold.
“Yes, I am.”
He may have been smiling, but in those grey eyes of his she saw there was no way she’d be able to convince him to divulge the secrets of his past this night. That didn’t bother her, though. She liked the idea of him being mysterious, even now after they’d made love.
“Why do you believe in me so much?” she asked, suddenly needing to know why he hadn’t given up on her.
Sion smoothed her hair back off her face. “You’re so different from everyone I’ve ever met, human or vampire. You’re intelligent and thoughtful, and you pursue the knowledge you seek in the purest way I’ve ever seen. I used to sit in that damp cellar of Vasilije’s and marvel at how focused you were as you looked for the answers to a prophecy thousands of years old. You never gave up or lost hope. I admire that.”
Kali knew that for most other females in their world, hearing that Sion admired them would leave them ice cold. Never one for much sentiment, he said what he believed in a very matter of fact way. Few women appreciated a mate who sounded like a letter of reference to an employer when they explained what they liked about them.
It didn’t bother her at all, though. To hear him say he admired her meant the world to Kali because she understood what that truly meant to someone like him. To have him be impressed by her intellect and mind thrilled her more than she ever imagined possible.
“Thank you. That means so much to me.”
Sion shrugged and a look of discomfort crossed his face. “Not exactly what a woman wants to hear, I know, but it’s the truth. I hope you see that.”
Shaking her head, she cupped his cheek and looked up into his eyes. “I love it. No one has ever told me they admired me for my mind.”
She wasn’t lying. All her time as a vampire and not one man, human or vampire, had ever seen anything in her intelligence to love. She’d always been wanted for sex by males and because she had no choice with her sire, but never for what she’d devoted her life to.
“They don’t know what makes a woman great then.”
“I always wished for someone to think I was more than just what shows on the outside.”
The look in his eyes told her she’d said too much, and before she could speak again, he pulled away. “If you’re feeling better, I’m going to go get some work done. Do you need anything?”
Kali wanted nothing more than to just lie there with him, but the distance between them now was too much. In just a few seconds, he’d turned cold and she knew him well enough to know that she couldn’t reach him now.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll come out and help in a little bit.”
He gave her a tepid smile and walked out of the bedroom without giving her a chance to say anything more. She suspected he did that to avoid hearing her say she wanted the closeness she craved.
Sion simply didn’t have that in him.
As he closed the door, she looked over at her purse and the tug of war between taking the last of the Bliss she had and living up to the promise she’d made to him began in her mind. She knew she shouldn’t touch it again, but she wanted to feel the emotions it brought out in her.
How it made her feel like a woman who was brave and strong and could handle the man Sion was and the pain of her life from her sire.
Fifteen
Memories of his time as a human flooded Sion’s mind, and no matter what he did to stop them, they came like armies of misery sent to undo all the control he’d worked so hard to maintain since that night his sire had rescued him from his base life as a human. He tried to focus on the information in front of him, but the words on his laptop screen swam in front of his eyes, blurring into one long string of letters.
Shaking his head, he leaned back and inhaled a deep breath. This wasn’t happening. He’d spent every night as a vampire containing his emotions, working to make himself secure from feelings and the memories of his life as a human. He hadn’t felt anything like this in decades, so why now?
His skin ached to the touch, as if thousands of pins pricked at his body. There had to be a logical explanation to what was happening to him. Perhaps it was Kali’s blood. She was an ancient vampire, so it could make sense. Just the taste of it hitting his tongue had made the top of his head feel like it was going to blow off. And he had taken a large amount of her blood, so the effect woul
d be exaggerated because of that.
But even as he tried to convince himself that was the truth, his mind began to spin out of control from the memories of the man he’d been before his sire saved him. That being was more monster than man, but in the world he’d lived in, so many had been monsters then.
It still was no excuse for what he’d done.
The night air chilled him to the bone, the early December cold settling into the camp. He had two hours left before he could return to his barracks at the far end of the compound, but until then his job was to watch for prisoners who tried to escape.
No other man above or below his rank excelled like he did in capturing prisoners. No matter what they tried or how clever they thought they were, he sniffed them out like an animal did its prey. He had the eyes of an eagle. Nothing got past him.
And when he found one sneaking in the shadows, thinking they had fooled him, no other guard relished delivering punishment like he did. Before the war, he’d been lost and rudderless, unsure of what a man like himself should do, but now his life possessed purpose.
He was meant to inflict pain, so what better than the position of camp guard?
His eyes darted left and right, eager to seek out another soul to teach his lesson to. The last one had made him the champion of the camp guards with twenty for the year. That one had felt good when he pounded his fists into the man’s face. They always wore the same look when they were caught. First surprise would fill their eyes, but only for a fleeting moment. Then that incredible look of terror that fueled his very being settled into them and the begging began.
The begging always made him love what he did next even more. Without fail, they whimpered like frightened children when he first raised his fist. Cocking it back, he held it a few seconds longer than he needed to, relishing the horror he saw in their eyes.
“Erich, see any tonight?” someone asked behind him.
Turning, he saw another guard, Gunther, who he knew idolized him for his treatment of the prisoners. A young man with the picture-perfect Arian look so valued by the Reich, he’d never finished off anyone yet.
Blood Craving Page 14
