“You know there’s another part of the legend,” the little brownie stated, unclenching his arms. “The second part of the legend states acceptance must come from the animal soul of the shifter within seventy-two hours or the bond and the mate will disappear from your life forever. While she’ll be able to mate and have children with another male, as she’s your Liaria,you’ll be alone. A mateless eunuch of a leprechaun only spoken of as a warning to young Fae. Kind of like the human’s version of the booger monster.”
“Ha, success,” Roark stated unnecessarily when he finally stood, naked, by the side of the bed. “People will speak of me, Nob, have no doubts of that. However it won’t be as a cautionary tale, but as the paragon of virtue whom others of my race will always aspire to be, but never quite make it. Besides,” Roark gave a casual shrug of his bare shoulder, “I’ll discover what ails her, fix it and get on with the rest of our lives. Her adoring me and me being worthy of being adored.”
A harsh coughing noise sounded from the bed and both men turned to look at the feline staring at them with intelligent, tawny-colored eyes. In a splash of vivid colors, the lioness disappeared and in her place a very naked, very curvy Calder sat looking both amused and irritated.
“I’ll adore you? Really?” she asked sarcastically. “Will this be with or without magical intervention?”
“Well,” he defended himself. “Anything sounds bad when you put that tone in it.”
“I don’t think it has anything to do with the tone, but more along the lines of the sheer amount of stupidity crammed into one man-sized sentence.” With casual movements, Calder wrapped the fine Irish linen sheet around her lickable body. Disappointed in missing the sight of her bare breasts bouncing with her every movement, Roark sent a well-practiced and adorable pout her way.
Instead of jumping to do his bidding, Calder rolled her uniquely colored eyes and spoke to Nob as if Roark no longer existed in the same room.
“Is he always this bad?”
The Benedict Arnold of house brownies shrugged his hideously colored shoulders. “He’s gotten worse the older he gets. Once he hit two hundred it became impossible to tame his ego. Add in his power, passable looks and you get a self-esteem not even Godzilla could crush.” Nob shook his head, strands of silky hair tangling around his so sad face.
“Well, I guess this explains why my cat doesn’t trust him.”
“Yea, I thought as much. However, if fate deigned for the two of you to be mates then there must be something redeemable in him.”
They both turned thoughtful gazes his way, neither one worried or concerned in the least with his blatant nudity. Getting fed up with their harsh, if possibly honest description of his person, Roark crossed his arms over his chest and learned against the old wood chest by the bed.
“Do I need to be here for this conversation or can the two of you insult me without me hearing it?”
“Nay, don’t need ya here at all. You’ll only bugger up the situation even more.”
“The only thing I’d need you for is purely physical and I’ll let you know when you’re up to bat. Until then why don’t you go somewhere else and look pretty while the grownups talk?”
What happened next Roark would have blocked from his mind if he had the magic to. Instead he was stuck with the horror for the next three to five hundred years. Calder, his mate, the woman he’d made scream his name in passion, reached over and patted his ass before pushing him out of the room.
She’d pushed him out of his own freaking room! Oh this would take some thinking, but Roark was determined not to start their mating with a pat on the ass and tossed out on his bum.
“It’s a good thing he’s so pretty,” Calder’s husky voice proclaimed.
“Aye, without his looks he’d be useless,” Nob agreed.
Roark couldn’t stand any more. A single thought had him completely dressed and out of the house. He didn’t need to stay around to be insulted. He could go someplace else and be treated this badly.
“Little rough on the man, weren’t you?”
“You think he needs coddling? His blessed mother did enough of that for five children,” Nob complained.
“Look, I get it. There’s something wonky going on or else I wouldn’t have woken up as a cat. But cut the drama, please, at least until I get a least two cups of coffee in me.” Though comfortable in her nudity as most shifters were, Calder hesitated to drop the sheet in front of Nob. The man was like a father to her mate. Should he really be seeing her naked?
“Clothe yourself, but quickly, Calder. We must make plans before your man returns.” The door latched softly shut behind him.
“Please throw clothes over your naked ass, Calder,” she mimicked in a low and very bad Irish accent. “You’re tit-deep in shamrocks and leprechauns, me girl.”
And did she really want this? The obvious fight for her mate’s respect and affection? He was a vain creature to be sure, as most of the Fae were known to be, but once rewarded with their loyalty, they never betrayed you.
“Of course I want more than just his fighting skills. Love would be nice along with the amazing sex.” Finding her clothes from last night clean, fresh and ironed within an inch of their life, Calder quickly dressed, shook out her hair and considered the morning primping done. At least until she found a toothbrush. Cats didn’t like dirty teeth any more than they enjoyed having a dirty coat.
Finding a bathroom proved to be easier than she thought. Through a door she assumed led to a closet, Calder came across one of the largest, most lavish bathrooms she had ever seen.
Bigger than her apartment back in Baton Rouge, the room was made out of a mix of gold and marble. The standalone tub big enough to hold Calder and six of her closest friends looked to be hand-carved out of marble and weigh more than her car back home.
The shower, another gold-veined masterpiece, took her breath away with the huge walk-in area, two benches, eight showerheads and one large rain trough directly overhead.
Hidden in its own personal closest complete with TV, radio and internet connection—goddess, her mate was such a guy—stood a carved marble toilet. Even thinking about sitting there and doing business made her shiver. Until she saw the edge of power threading around the seat.
“Huh, leave it to a man to waste his magic on a heated toilet seat.” Quickly changing her mind, Calder took care of her personal business then washed her hands. Gratefully, she brushed her teeth with a toothbrush from the stash she found in the bamboo basket under the heavy gold sink.
If she didn’t know it before, she sure as hell knew her leprechaun had a thing for gold. If he had a natural affinity for the raw material it would explain the lavish decoration of his temporary residence. Would things change back to normal once he left? And what would normal be?
Shaking off the eerie feeling of being out of synch with reality, Calder left the bedroom, her muscles protesting each step. The vague pain reminded her of Roark and the man who’d taken her last night versus the one who woke with her this morning.
“And they say cats are the moody ones.” She snorted in a very unladylike fashion at the thought and followed her nose to the wonderful smell of breakfast.
“Ah, finally you’re showing yourself. I wondered if I would have to send a rescue party to find you in that monstrosity of a bathroom,” Nob greeted her while flipping something golden and delicious-looking on the stove.
“It’s a monument to gold, that’s for sure. What did this place look like before Roark took over?” She grabbed the single cup in front of the coffeepot and filled it to the brim. “Hmmm, this smells just like home.” She took a small sip, aware of the danger of slurping the steaming liquid. “Tastes like my home brew too.”
“As it should, since I took the beans straight from your apartment. Also I sent a few of the younger cousins to tidy up your place a bit. It’ll give them something to do and keep them out of trouble for the next little while.” Nob carried a full plate of corn-style pancakes, thick s
ausages and buttery potatoes and set it in front of her.
“Eat it up. Shifters need their protein and from what I’ve seen of your home you don’t eat enough to keep a sheep alive.” His scolding came firm but lovingly.
Calder speared a corn cake into her mouth and forgot about protesting Nob’s lack of insight on her eating habits. “Hmm, yum, you keep feeding me like this and I’ll let you insult my fridge all you want.”
“Calder, I simply don’t understand.” The little man tugged nervously at his strangely dotted scarf. “You are a shifter, born and bred, but nothing exists in your home except food for cattle and goats. Nothing a predator of your nature should be eating. I confess it’s left me feeling a little confused.”
How to explain the modern woman’s aversion to looking like a female without causing the poor brownie’s head to explode? “Umm…it was my grocery day?”
“Oh.” The little man looked relieved. “Oh my yes, that explains so much. Well, no worries then my younger cousins will have you stocked up in no time.”
Really she should be worried about these cousins of his trampling through her home, but it wasn’t as if they could make a bigger mess than what she’d left behind. Packing had never been her strong suit and unfortunately her home reflected it. “Do I need to pay these guys or do they work on a barter system?”
“Oh heaven no.” The Fae looked insulted at such an offer you’d think Calder offered to blow his dad the way Nob reacted.
“Fine,” she said, more than willing to drop the subject. “So how long before Roark comes to his senses?”
“Oh not long, not long at all, my dear, maybe only twenty or thirty years, if that.” He looked pleased as punch at his announcement.
“Hell, no!” Calder pushed back from the table and her delicious meal. “I’m not hanging around waiting a quarter of a century for a man who may or may not come around to being my mate.” The very idea of lowering herself to waiting for a man, not even a male lion, had her seeing red.
“But, Calder, Roark needs some time to settle down and come to terms with the idea,” Nob protested, cutting her off as she headed straight to the back door and into sanity.
“I am a fully grown, capable and mature female shifter. I am not some two-bit human woman willing to beg for a man’s attention. If he doesn’t want me now then he won’t want me twenty years from now. I’ll find a man who does want everything I offer and he damn well better be a lion I can be proud of. Not some sorry excuse for a leprechaun, useless to anyone but himself.”
Calder stormed past the determined brownie, careful even in her anger to avoid brushing by him. No sense in hurting the last innocent person in the house.
“Bye, Nob. It’s been…well…it’s been something. Thanks for the great breakfast and sending the cousins to straighten out my packing attack. If you ever get a vacation from Lord Vain-A-Lot be sure to look me up in Louisiana.”
“Oh I can’t let this happen,” she vaguely heard the small man whisper. “Goddess forgive me, but a brownie must do what a brownie must do.”
With that he let loose a long string of lyrical words that stopped her in her path. Her head filled with the individual notes, each more unique and lovely than the last. Her world ceased to exist outside those strange, mesmerizing words until finally the words disappeared.
Calder was left standing in a strange, brightly lit glen, but she wasn’t alone. Her possible mate, the vainest man she’d ever met in her life stood side by side with her, a perplexed expression crossing his face.
“What are we doing here?” he asked softly and without a hint of his normal arrogance.
“How the hell should I know, magic boy? This is your best buddy’s doing.” A quick look around showed her nothing. Literally there was nothing to identify the land and/or country. Wherever Nob had sent them, he’d done a good job of concealing all natural landmarks. “So wrinkle your nose, cross your arms, blink your eyes, bob your head, click your heels, just do something and get us the heck out of here.”
“I beg your pardon. I do none of those things. Magic is inherent to me therefore ridiculous gestures are beneath me.” His nose went straight back in the air.
“Then you’d better come up with something, Lucky Charms, because we’re not in Kansas anymore and you sure as hell aren’t Toto.”
Really, the things he’d been forced to do since meeting his Liaria fairly blew his spectacularly intelligent mind. “Why don’t you go piss on a rock or something while I get us out of this mess.”
“You arrogant, useless male,” Calder sputtered then disappeared in a flash of brilliant colors. With a flick of her tawny tail, his mate bounded off, growling the entire time until she disappeared from his view.
“I am most certainly not useless,” Roark muttered to himself, even while he wondered if what she said could possibly be true. Whenever Nob or his family called him vain or self-centered, Roark took their words as good-natured teasing or jealous barbs.
However, in the past twenty-four hours Calder called him a number of unflattering names and she didn’t have the benefit of knowing how extraordinary he was. Then again, telling her to urinate on a rock probably wasn’t a show of great intellect on his part.
“You’re a useless mate, male and leprechaun.”
He spun around to face the owner of the masculine voice only to find no one there. “What the—”
“Step up, be a man, grow a pair. If you don’t there is another male out there capable of being your Calder’s mate. Lose her and there’s isn’t another for you. She’ll spend the rest of her long life not giving you another thought while you won’t be able to go a minute without yearning for her.”
No matter where he looked, the owner of the voice remained invisible to his eyes. “Show yourself and face me like a man.”
A shout of laughter taunted him from above. “First you’d have to be a man and I can’t see this happening anytime soon. Balls don’t make a male, Elf. Maybe it’s time you learned that lesson.”
Anger and overwhelming fear had his hands shaking as he hastily stuffed them into his pockets. His magic sensed nothing when he moved in a slow circle. “Who are you? How did you get here?”
The low, taunting laughter rang out again. “What makes you think I wasn’t here first?”
The high green grass brushed Roark’s bare feet, the gentle wind causing the chill to cover his skin. “This is your home?”
“Let’s just say I belong here more than you do.”
“Where’s Calder?”
“Now you think about her? Minutes have passed and you think about yourself before the woman created to be the better side of you.” All pleasure and amusement left the ghostly voice. The wind went from gentle to brutal in seconds.
“She left me, not the other way around. Besides, she’s a shifter, a lioness, more than capable of taking care of herself.” What Roark didn’t say or possibly couldn’t admit was he felt Calder, was somehow connected to her. Knew within his heart of hearts she was okay. While he didn’t know exactly what was happening, Roark did know he wanted Calder nowhere near this invisible tormentor.
He’d been on his way back from town, bouquets of flowers in one hand and four dozen humongous, thick steaks in the other, determined to speak his mind once and for all to the blessing Fate had chosen for him. Even dropping to his knees in apology had been one scenario to run through his mind.
Now instead of making up to his lovely, lusciously curvy mate, Roark found himself tossed into a dimensional portal. Nob, for all his oh so humble ways, would pay for this one when they finally got out. Roark would introduce the brownie’s favorite iron beaters to the garbage disposal, just see if he didn’t.
However now was not the time or place to venture into revenge fantasies. Not when this invisible voice kept taunting him, the words stabbing deeply into emotions Roark would have sworn he didn’t have.
Concentrate on Calder, he reminded himself. She’s the important one here.
; To keep her safe he would deflect the taunts and absorb the insults without a flinch. Because if what his mystery guest said were true, then Calder had someone else out there ready or more than capable of filling her life with the happiness she deserved.
After spending last night in her arms, well, part of last night, Roark knew he’d never find another woman who would challenge him as much as his shifter. Too bad his entire experience with relationships involved his domineering mother and omega father. They’d spent the last few centuries doing everything possible to make their spouse’s life miserable. Why in the name of all that glitters would he want the same torture for himself?
Then Calder appeared in his life, brighter and more desirable than the largest pot of gold. She tempted him with her laughter, her bright new look on life, everything about Calder appealed to the man he kept so carefully buried beneath layers of vanity and selfishness.
“She left because you told her to take a piss on a rock. Not the most romantic of proposals, lad. It’s no wonder she’s thinking of ways, of magics to break the bond between you both.”
Fed up, scared for Calder even if his mind knew she was safe—pissed, but safe—Roark’s patience ran out. “Show yourself or fuck off. I’ve things to do and I’ll not be wasting any more time with you.”
“There’s the spine I’ve heard rumors about.” Something about the mysterious visitor’s tone struck a memory with Roark, but the feeling faded before he could grasp it. “Tell me something, Roark, if you know the mistakes your parents have made of their lives, their marriage, why do you think you’ll be doomed to repeat the mistakes?”
“Shit, get out of my head,” he demanded, feeling naked down to his very weary soul. “You know nothing.”
“True, I know little about you as a person, but as a mate I can pretty well predict all your patterns.”
“Ah then,” Roark made a vague gesture in the air, “tell me, oh wise and full-of-shite being. Tell me what my next move will be, and while you’re at it, mind telling me the lotto numbers as well? Could use a bit of coin.” Actually he didn’t need the money. As a leprechaun Roark had access to all the money he could ever need.
GettingLuckyinGalway Page 6
