by Anita Waller
‘Please, just leave it, Heather. It will only make things worse if he thinks I’ve told you.’
The two women stared at each other, and Heather gave a reluctant nod. ‘This can’t carry on though, Claud, he’ll really hurt you one day.’
‘I know. I’d reached that decision this morning, before this happened. Now I know I’ve got to do something. I’ll wait until after Monday, get the doctor out of the way, and then do some proper planning.’
‘Doctor?’
Claudia slipped her top off her shoulder. ‘This is why I wasn’t wearing a bra. The strap is rubbing on it, and it makes it sore.’
Heather examined it closely. ‘Is it a mole?’
‘No idea,’ Claudia said with a laugh. ‘I can’t see it. What’s it like?’
‘It’s almost like a little pearl. You’re right though, it’s in the wrong place for your strap. They’ll remove it for you, but I don’t reckon it will be at this appointment. You’ll have to wait till the minor ops surgery.’
‘I don’t care as long as they do something eventually. So – we were killing Owen at the start of this gossip…’
‘I might have to kill him before he bankrupts us.’ Heather shook her head, despair etched on her face. ‘I’m going to try to get more hours at work, but I can’t see that happening.’
‘Things haven’t improved then… it seems as though both have reached middle age and gone on a downward spiral. James has always had a quick temper, but it’s more than that now. He’s become controlling, downright nasty, and far too handy with his fists. One day the kids will realise, if they haven’t already, and then it will become so much worse. I think David has already clicked on, he gave my hand a squeeze when they left today. And Owen’s drinking has obviously gone up a notch.’
‘More than a notch,’ Heather said. ‘I suppose I’m lucky that he becomes daft, rather than violent, but it’s mostly about the money. He’s the one that buys rounds for everybody. And then he comes home, collapses on the settee, and that’s the end of my evening.’
‘We could leave together…’ Claudia’s smile was wide.
‘We could. Can you imagine what they’d say then? It wouldn’t be their fault we’d left, it would be because we were lesbians.’
‘Well, I’m not. Are you?’
Heather grinned at her friend. ‘Not bloody likely. We could always move two fellers in to prove we’re fine with men.’
‘I might not be a lesbian, but I’m never taking another man into my life. No thanks. I’m not that stupid.’
‘So, where is he? Big, brave James.’
‘No idea. He was helping me, but then he went inside. I’m happier on my own. Wonder what his bosses would think if they knew what he’d done today…’
‘Would you tell them?’
‘Definitely not. They’d probably sack him, and then he’d be at home all the time. I won’t tell them unless circumstances say I have to, but the time has come for me to go, I think.’ Claudia looked at her friend. ‘Will you help?’
‘Of course. You don’t need to ask. And get a two-bedroom place, will you? One day I might have to join you.’ There was no hint of a smile.
‘Are you serious?’ Claudia leaned against the fence. ‘Surely you can sort it? I know he’s always liked a drink, but he knew when to stop. What’s changed? What the hell has turned him from being a perfectly normal, likeable bloke, into one who prefers being in the pub to being at home?’
‘It must be me.’
‘Whoa, hang on there a minute. Didn’t you just tell me it wasn’t my fault I was raped and beaten? How can you be to blame for him being drunk all the time? Come on, Heather, answer me.’
Heather thought Claudia looked like an avenging angel, standing with her feet apart, her hands on her hips.
‘Touché,’ she said, a huge grin on her face. ‘Have they got other women?’
Claudia returned the smile. ‘I have no idea, but if James has, I hope he treats her better than he treats me.’
Heather reached across the fence and put her arms around her friend. She felt Claudia stiffen. ‘Oh my God, Claud, I’m sorry. I caught that spot, didn’t I?’
Claudia gave another wry smile. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing compared to a smack in the face, is it? And I needed the hug. And even if you have to sleep on a sofa, there’ll always be somewhere to lay your head while I’m alive.’
Claudia moved away from the fence. ‘Of course, any decent friend would have been round here and emptied this barrow…’
‘Yeah, right.’
‘Or even made a cuppa,’ Claudia added as she grasped the handles and wheeled the barrow to the top end of the garden.
‘Two minutes,’ Heather said, walking towards her own kitchen.
Claudia tipped the barrow and picked up the rake. She moved all the brown foliage to the top of the pile then covered it with the old carpet.
She paused for a moment to ease her aching back. Time to stop, she figured. She took the barrow and the other tools back to the garage and returned to the fence to take the mug of tea from Heather’s hand.
‘Thank you, you’re a good friend,’ she said.
‘Cheers,’ Heather responded, and they clinked mugs. ‘And now leave the gardening alone, you’ll be knackered. Turn around and let me put this dressing on that sore bit.’
Claudia lay back in the bath and let her thoughts drift around inside her head. Now she had made the decision to leave, she wanted to be gone. The previous seven years hadn’t been good for either of them; the loss of Ella had been devastating. They had been shocked initially when the pregnancy was confirmed, but so happy to be having a new baby.
The cruelty of losing Ella had destroyed them. All of them. She knew James had found it difficult to express his feelings, couldn’t interact with Harry and Zoe, and wanted no comfort from his wife.
But eventually they had survived; everyone except James. He had changed beyond all recognition.
She sighed, pulled the plug and climbed out of the bath. She didn’t want to go downstairs; she didn’t want to talk. And she didn’t want a conversation about the activities of the morning.
She did her hair with considerably more care than she had the previous morning when racing to get to work, but she knew it was only because she was killing time.
The dressing on her back had come off in the bath, and she decided she couldn’t have another plaster; she didn’t want James to touch her. She slipped on a silky top and jeans and lay on the bed for a brief time to let her mind ease.
James heard his phone buzz and took it out of his pocket. He smiled when he saw the sender.
Missing you. Loving you. You having a good day? Can you stay over Tuesday night?
James deleted the text then responded.
Day been good, and I can stay Tuesday night. Warm the bed. Love you.
He once again deleted after sending and smiled. His unhappiness was slowly dissipating after years of emotional trauma, and he had one person to thank for that. He wanted Monday to be there already, and not a day away.
Claudia finally walked downstairs and past the lounge. She could see James lying on the sofa, so went through to the kitchen. She made a hot chocolate and sat at the table reading. He didn’t wake until seven, and they decided to have a pizza.
Neither spoke; there was very little of interest on television, so both read. Claudia went to bed around ten and left James downstairs. She decided if she wasn’t asleep by the time he came up, she would pretend to be. She wanted nothing more to do with him.
James sat on the sofa and took out his phone.
Chapter 3
Dr Walker looked up with a smile. ‘Claudia. Good to see you.’
He waited until she sat down. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘There’s something really irritating on the back of my shoulder. It’s right where my bra strap is, and it hurts. I’d like it removing if I can, please.’
He stood. ‘Show me.’
‘I’m pretty sure it’s nothing to worry about, but you’re right, it couldn’t be in a more awkward place. I’ll refer you to the Hallamshire, and they’ll remove it for you. We don’t have a minor ops day scheduled for about six weeks, so it will be removed quicker with a referral. If you pop along to the nurse, she’ll put a dressing on it, give you a bit of protection from the bra strap.’
‘How long will I have to wait?’
‘Not long. They’re always quick with the easy stuff. Probably about a week.’
He pulled a piece of paper towards him and wrote. ‘Take this to reception and they’ll fit you in within the next twenty minutes or so for a dressing to be applied.’ Without lifting his eyes from the paper, he continued. ‘What happened to your face?’
She involuntarily touched her cheekbone. ‘Wardrobe door. I forgot I’d left it open and turned around.’
Now he did lift his head. ‘Really?’
‘Really.’
He signed his name and handed her the piece of paper. ‘I’ll send the referral letter today. With a bit of luck, the spot will be gone in a week or so. Take care, Claudia.’
‘Thank you.’ She left his surgery and walked around to reception.
Within five minutes, she was in with the nurse, who applied a dressing and handed her four more. Claudia was told to keep it covered until it was removed, and she went straight to work.
She could sense there was a minor panic in the office as she walked through the door. It soon transpired that one of the drivers had overturned his lorry, and she quickly took charge of organising having the load collected, the lorry transported to a garage, and the driver’s family informed.
Claudia missed lunch, and by mid-afternoon she needed food.
‘I’ll be back in ten minutes,’ she called to nobody in particular as she walked out the door, and several hands were held up in acknowledgement.
The canteen was quiet. She picked up a cheese and pickle sandwich and made a coffee at the machine.
The table had a small vase of four daffodils on it, and she smiled. There were around fifteen tables, each holding a few bright yellow flowers, and it brought the place to life.
‘Your idea?’ she called across to Betty, the woman who had controlled her drivers for many years.
‘Look nice, don’t they,’ she responded. ‘How’s Tony? Have you heard anything?’
‘He’s in hospital in Penrith. Broken leg, so he’ll be off for a bit. His wife and two kids are on their way. We’ll get him brought back to Sheffield as soon as he’s fit to travel.’
‘Poor lad,’ Betty responded. ‘That’ll stop his football for a bit.’
‘It certainly will. And it seems it was all because of a dog. He was driving past a lay-by when a car door opened, and a dog shot out and across in front of Tony’s truck. He swerved, hit the brakes, and the lorry went. He couldn’t get control back, and it tipped.’
‘Bless him,’ Betty said, and sat down opposite Claudia. She placed her cup of tea down carefully and gave a deep sigh. ‘I hate it when any of my lads have accidents. It puts a proper downer on everything. And is that your lunch? You’re late.’
Claudia laughed. Betty mothered everybody, including her. ‘I’ve been sorting stuff out for the accident and for Tony. I didn’t get here until eleven, had a doctor’s appointment first.’
Betty nodded. ‘That’s okay then. You want something else?’
‘No, I’m fine thanks. The sandwich was enough. I’ll just finish my drink and get back.’
They chatted for a few more minutes, then Claudia returned to her office. Her phone was ringing, and she answered it before sitting down.
‘Claudia Bell.’
‘It’s James.’
‘Oh.’ She felt quite shocked. He very rarely rang her on her company phone. ‘Did you want something?’
‘To see how you went on at the doctors. I thought you might ring me.’
‘I haven’t had time, I walked into a major issue when I finally got into work. One of our drivers has had an accident, and I’ve had lots of sorting out to do.’
‘And the doctors?’
‘He’s told me to keep a dressing on it, and he’s sending me to the Hallamshire to have it removed. It’s nothing to worry about, he says, but he wants to get it off because it’s in an awkward place.’
‘Okay. That’s good. I’ll see you later then?’
‘Yes. What time will you be home?’
‘About seven. I’m in Manchester. Depends on the Woodhead traffic. I’m… er… I’m sorry about Saturday. I shouldn’t have hit you.’
She felt her anger escalate. Shouldn’t have hit her? Didn’t the rape count then? Wasn’t it rape if the two people were married?
‘No, you shouldn’t,’ she said stiffly. ‘I’ve got to go, there’s another call coming through. I’ll see you later.’ She put down the receiver clenching her fists angrily. He hadn’t said a word about it the previous day, he had waited until she was at work and wouldn’t be able to respond.
She sat at her desk and pulled her keyboard towards her.
Half an hour later she had a list of six potential properties that were all to let. She had specified a minimum of two bedrooms in her search, and she was pleased with the properties that search had delivered to her.
Tony’s wife, Donna, rang her just before five, to say that Tony was comfortable, his leg wasn’t too badly broken, and she and the girls would be staying the night in Penrith to be near to him.
Claudia told her the company would cover her expenses and to submit all receipts when she got back, then disconnected. She sat for a few minutes watching as the evening shift took over from the daytime people, then saw Frank Allen approaching her own office as he arrived to take on his duties as night manager.
‘Hi, Frank,’ she said. ‘Have you heard about Tony?’
‘Silly bugger should have just hit the dog,’ Frank said, in his usual forthright way. ‘Now he’s going to be off work for weeks, and a young family to keep.’
Claudia smiled at him. ‘Stop being so grumpy. At least he’s alive. The truck’s a wreck, it could have been so much worse. Anyway, his wife has just contacted me, he’s doing well.’
‘Oh, that makes it all okay then.’ The growl was still in his voice. ‘And let’s hope the bloody dog’s doing well, and its bloody owners.’
‘Oh, shut up, you narky old man,’ Claudia laughed. ‘Right, these are my hand over notes, no problems apart from Tony. I sent Adam up with the DAF to rescue the load, and he’s bringing it back here. We don’t know if any of that got damaged. He should be back by eight.’
‘We collecting for the lad?’
She nodded towards a cardboard box on her desk, that had a crudely cut slit on the top. ‘There’s a notice in the canteen telling everybody, so quite a few drivers have been by and put in something.’
Frank took out his wallet and withdrew two twenty-pound notes. He stuffed them in the top of the box and once again Claudia laughed.
‘Bit of a softy, then, Frank?’
‘Get off home and let me sit down.’
She stood and waited for him to sit in her chair, then planted a kiss on his head. ‘See you tomorrow.’
He rubbed the top of his head. ‘Get off me, that’s sexual harassment in the workplace, that is.’
‘And you love it,’ she called, as she exited into the central office.
She drove home, switching her mind off from work issues. She really wanted to spend an hour with Heather, going through the list of properties, but if James didn’t arrive home until seven, that wouldn’t be possible. She didn’t expect James would be going out again, so the evening would be spent keeping the peace, maybe watching some crime series at nine, and bed at ten. The list would have to wait until she knew James was going to be away.
Over dinner, he explained he would be away Tuesday and Wednesday night, t
he first night in Leeds and the second in Newcastle. She nodded and tried not to let the inner ‘whoopee’ show on her face.
They watched Silent Witness and almost before the show ended, James stood and said goodnight. ‘Early start tomorrow,’ he explained, ‘I’ll be getting up at six. Will you be up to do breakfast?’
She quickly counted to ten and said yes.
She blew out the candles and locked everything up, but before locking the back door she stepped out into the garden. The work she had done over the weekend showed, and with the exterior light on it looked to be a sanctuary. She stayed for five minutes, aware of shouting coming from Heather’s house, and then heard a crash of glass. It was followed by silence, and Claudia had no idea what to do.
She moved back inside, locked and bolted the door and headed into the lounge. She picked up her phone and texted.
You okay? xx
It was ten minutes before she received the reply.
I’m fine. He’s a drunk dickhead. xx
Donna called early Tuesday morning to say Tony was doing well, and they were hoping to get him home sometime Wednesday, so she and the girls would be staying an extra night to save having to drive home then back again.
Claudia chatted with her for a while, then put down the phone with a smile. That had been good news, and an earlier phone call to Heather had led them to agreeing to a wine night at Claudia’s, so today life was good.
It proved to be a day of lorry drivers being where they should be, loads not being contaminated, and no delays at Dover, so there was very little on the handover sheet for Frank.
She called at the supermarket on the way home, picked up some nibbles and Prosecco, then headed home. She lit the fire and the candles and took out the printed sheets she had hidden in her laptop case. She truly didn’t want James getting any idea that she might be wanting to move out; he must have no sight of these documents.
She was glancing through them for the third time when Heather pushed open the back door. ‘It’s me,’ she called. ‘Shall I lock it now?’
