by Katie Lane
“Before, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is she kept it a secret from me.”
“Probably because she knew you would react exactly the way you are.” She looked down at the pony in her hands. “It’s so much easier when things stay buried, isn’t it? Then you don’t have to face them.” She looked at Holden. “But don’t you think you’ve kept your pain and guilt over Amanda dying buried long enough, Holden? I certainly have. Which is why I started going to therapy. It’s taken me close to two years to learn how to forgive myself for what I missed out on with my children. To realize that I can’t change what happened in the past, but I can change what happens next. And so can you. Devlin loves you. I’d stake the family business on it. And you love her.”
He sat up and rested his arms on his knees, covering his face with his hands. “I don’t want to. Love hurts.”
“It doesn’t have to. Talk to Devlin, Holden. Get this worked out. If you don’t, I might have to discipline you.”
He glanced over at her and raised an eyebrow. “I’m a little too big to paddle, Mother.”
She held up Broccoli. “Then I’ll just have to put you in the naughty pony corral corner.”
Chapter Fifteen
As she watched Holden drive away in the truck, Devlin was finally able to accept what her emotions had been trying to tell her.
She loved him.
And he loved her too. At least, he had before she messed everything up. Why hadn’t she reacted more? Why had she just stood there like a cold, emotionless statue and allowed him to leave? It was the exact same thing she had done with Alfred when he broke up with her. That time, she had felt nothing. This time, she felt too much. She’d been so overwhelmed with emotion; she’d become paralyzed and couldn’t get out what she wanted to say.
Even now, she felt frozen in place as a hard knot of despair settled in her stomach and burned its way to her chest and the back of her throat.
“I tried to tell you that those Double Diamond boys were trouble.”
She turned to see Miss Gertie standing on the sidewalk with her walker. But this time, she had her hairless cat, Rhett Butler, sitting in the basket attached to the front. Devlin was too upset to even be scared of the older woman. Or to reply. She just stood there staring at her.
Miss Gertie shook her head of tight white curls and snorted. “I had my doubts about the entire love at first sight nonsense, but it looks like I was wrong. If you’re just gonna stand there bawling your eyes out because you got in a fight with that hooligan, you might as well give me a ride back to the boardinghouse.”
Bawling her eyes out? Devlin touched her cheeks and was shocked when her hands came back wet. She was even more shocked when a sob escaped her mouth. And then another. And another. It was embarrassing to be standing in the middle of town crying, but she was also relieved to know that she wasn’t completely emotionless.
Although it had come a little too late.
A tissue waved before her face.
“Are you gonna drive me home or not?” Miss Gertie said. “Reba was supposed to pick me up from the hair salon, but it looks like she got sidetracked again. That girl tries to do a million things at once.”
Devlin took the tissue and nodded. “Of course I’ll drive you home.” But for some reason the word “home” made her cry even harder. Maybe because she knew that now there was no reason for her to stay in Simple. And she had started to think of the little town as home.
“Good gravy,” Miss Gertie said. “I didn’t take you for a blubbering female.”
“I’m usually not.” She sniffed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“A Double Diamond boy is what’s wrong with you. They can turn even the strongest woman into a sobbing ninny. Now get in. I’ll drive. You’re in no condition to be behind the wheel.”
A few moments later, Devlin was sitting in the passenger seat of her rental car with Butler sitting on her lap while Miss Gertie tore down Main Street like she was driving in the Indianapolis 500.
Fear dried up most of Devlin’s tears as Miss Gertie took a turn on two wheels. Devlin gripped the dashboard with one hand and held Butler close with the other. The cat didn’t seem to like being cuddled. He sank his claws into Devlin’s arm, and when she loosened her hold, jumped across the console to Miss Gertie’s lap. The old woman took one hand off the wheel to pet him and Devlin couldn’t help asking,
“Umm . . . do you have a driver’s license, Miss Gertie?”
“Of course I have a driver’s license. I’ve been driving since I was ten years old when Main Street was nothing but a tiny dirt road. And I’d still have my own car if that trucker hadn’t come out of nowhere and totaled it. Crazy drivers. Now what did Holden do to you?”
Devlin watched for trucks as she answered. “He didn’t do anything to me. I did it to him. I lied to him and made him think that finding oil on his land was more important to me than he is.”
“Is it?”
Tears dripped down her face. “I love Holden.”
“That wasn’t the question. You can love someone and still put something else before them. My boardinghouse has always come first with me. Which is probably why I’m still single. Sounds like you did the same thing with your desire to find oil.”
“It isn’t about finding oil. It’s never been about that. I just wanted to prove to my family that I’m not just some emotionless oddball who can’t get anything right.”
Miss Gertie snorted. “You don’t look like you have a problem showing emotions to me. But you need to quit whining and pull yourself together.” She pulled out a tissue from the sleeve of her dress and handed it to Devlin. “As for being an oddball, you seem to fit in just fine here in Simple. Everyone in town likes you. I’ve even gotten a little partial to you myself.”
That revelation made the tears fall even harder. When she wiped them away, more took their place. “Thank you, Miss Gertie. I like you too.” It was the truth. She was still scared of the woman, but she’d also grown fond of her. And of all the people in the town. “Simple is different. I don’t feel as out of place here.”
“So it’s just your family you feel out of sorts with. Well, I certainly get that. I was a major tomboy while my three sisters were girlie girls to the core. When I hit my late teens, I started to notice the differences between my sisters and me. And I began to worry their teasing was right, and one day I’d end up a lonely old maid. So I started wearing dresses and makeup and trying my darnedest to be something I just wasn’t. And it worked. I ended up catching a man. Unfortunately, when I relaxed enough around him to be myself, he left me for a Harvey girl with more curves than a race track. That’s when I decided to stop worrying about fitting in with other people and just fit into my own skin.”
“But what if I don’t know how to fit into my own skin?”
Miss Gertie glanced down at Devlin’s red cowboy boots. “It’s like a pair of shoes. If you put them on and they feel tight and uncomfortable, you know they aren’t the right pair for you. It doesn’t matter if you think they will make other people like you. The fit has to be right. The same goes for life. If you try something on—whether it’s a job or a boyfriend—and it doesn’t feel right, it probably ain’t.”
The shoe analogy was a perfect example of Devlin’s life. She had spent most of her life trying to squeeze herself into social groups and college majors that just didn’t fit like she’d squeezed into the high heels her personal shopper had sent her. She’d stumbled around for years until Penny Gardener had talked her into trying on a pair of cowboy boots. The first time she pulled them on, she knew she was never going to wear another high heel again.
But she couldn’t do the same thing with her job. Ever since she had started working at Reliable Energy, she had known that the fit was all wrong. Which probably explained why she kept stumbling around and making mistakes. But how did she quit her own family?
“I can’t leave the family business,” she said.
“Why not?
Lots of people don’t work for their family.”
“But what would I do?”
“I guess that’s something you’ll have to figure out.”
As Miss Gertie drove up the long driveway of Dixon’s Boardinghouse, Devlin felt a little stunned. No one had ever questioned her working for her family until now. Everyone, including herself, had just assumed that’s what she would do once she got out of college. But now that Miss Gertie had brought it up, Devlin had to wonder why she was still cramming herself into a job that didn’t fit. Especially when doing so had made her lose the only man she’d ever loved.
“Well, now I know why Reba forgot to pick me up,” Miss Gertie said. “It looks like we got ourselves a new guest.”
Devlin followed Miss Gertie’s gaze and saw Reba standing on the porch with a distinguished-looking man who looked vaguely familiar. “Oh my gosh, that’s Valentine Sterling, the famous writer. Holden said he was one of the Double Diamond boys.”
“Good Lord! Not another one.” Miss Gertie wasted no time pulling up to the porch. After Devlin helped her get her walker from the back seat and Butler was settled in the basket, the little woman headed straight up the steps of the porch and started in on Mr. Sterling. “You get away from my niece, you bounder! Enough women in this town have been seduced by Double Diamond boys, I won’t have Reba being the next on the list.”
“Aunt Gertie!” Reba said. “What is the matter with you?” She turned to Mr. Sterling. “You’ll have to excuse my great-aunt, Mr. Sterling. Sometimes she forgets her manners.”
“It’s no problem.” Mr. Sterling smiled the same smile he wore on the back of all of his book jackets. It was cool, debonair, and slightly unreal. “From what I hear, a lot has been happening in Simple. But I can assure you, Ms. Dixon, I have no intentions of seducing anyone. I’m here to see Chester and Lucas.”
“Then why aren’t you staying out at the Double Diamond ranch?”
“I’m a bit of a night owl. It’s when I get most of my writing done. I didn’t want to disturb Chester and Lucas.” He held out a hand to Miss Gertie. “Valentine Sterling.”
When Miss Gertie refused to take his hand, Devlin did and pumped it up and down enthusiastically. “I’m Devlin McMillian and it’s an honor to meet you, Mr. Sterling. I’ve read all your books.”
“Thank you. And please call me Val.”
Miss Gertie cut in. “Don’t try to turn your charm on her. She’s already been burned by a Double Diamond boy.” She poked a gnarled finger at him. “And if I have anything to say about it, she’ll be the last. So you better watch yourself.”
Val nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
Miss Gertie gave him one more squinty-eyed glare before she rolled her walker toward the door. “Come on, Reba and Devlin, I won’t have either one of you staying with this slick talking James Bond.” With his dark hair combed back from his high forehead and his chiseled features, Val did look a lot like Pierce Brosnan when he starred as the suave spy. Of course, Val was nowhere close to as handsome as Holden.
Tears came from nowhere and dripped down Devlin’s cheeks.
Reba’s eyes instantly registered concern. “Devlin. Are you okay?”
Devlin nodded and brushed at the tears with the now soaked tissues Miss Gertie had given her. “I’m just feeling a little emotional today. I was wondering if my room was still available. I’ll probably only need it for one night. I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning.”
Thankfully, Reba didn’t ask any more questions. Devlin had little doubt that the sobs would start again if she even spoke Holden’s name. “Of course it’s available.” Reba squeezed her arm. “I’ll set another plate for supper and bring you out a mint julep.”
“Thank you, but I think I’ll head up to my room.”
“Please join me for a drink,” Val said. “I hate drinking alone.”
“I’m afraid I wouldn’t be good company.”
“Nonsense.” He held out a hand to the rocking chairs that lined the porch. “Please.” The smile he gave her was tentative and completely different from the confident author’s smile.
Since she wouldn’t have anything else to do once she got to her room but feel sorry for herself, she sat down. Val took the chair next to her but waited until Reba had brought her mint julep and left before he spoke.
“Logan and Cru are on their honeymoons. So I’m going to make a guess and say that Holden is the man behind those tears.” Val took a white handkerchief out of the back pocket of his black pants and handed it to her. He was the only man she’d ever seen carry an actual handkerchief. “So what exactly did Holden do?”
“Why does everyone think that it’s Holden who did something to me? He is one of the most kind, caring, honest men I know. He would never hurt anyone.” Her voice broke. “Especially someone he loves.”
Val’s eyebrows arched. “Holden is in love with you?”
She gave up on wiping away the tears and just held the handkerchief against her eyes. “Not now.”
A tapping sound had her glancing up to see Val inputting something on his cell phone. “Sorry,” he said. “I just needed to answer a quick text.” He placed his phone on the table between them. “So you think Holden loved you once, but doesn’t love you anymore. I’m sorry, but I find that hard to believe. I know Holden. If he loves someone, he loves them completely and forever. Which is why it was so hard for him to let go of his sister.”
Devlin lowered the handkerchief. “He told you about Amanda?”
Val nodded. “And if he told you, he must care a lot about you. He keeps his thoughts and feelings about his sister close to his vest.”
“Do you know about the ponies?”
“I helped him bury them.”
She sniffed. “Well, I accidentally dug them up and took one. Now do you understand why he no longer loves me?”
His phone pinged and he glanced at it before returning to the conversation. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Then I’m afraid you don’t know Holden. He’s kind, loving, and honest, but he’s not very forgiving. He still hasn’t forgiven his mother for neglecting her children for her work.” She handed back the handkerchief. “I should go inside now.”
“Actually, I was wondering if you could do me a big favor. I’m working on a new psychological thriller. And since you’re familiar with my work, I was wondering if I could run it by you and get your thoughts. Just the short synopsis. It won’t take long.” He sent her a beseeching look. “It would really be helpful.”
She didn’t feel like hearing a synopsis—even from one of her favorite authors—but after he’d given her his hankie and been so kind, she couldn’t say no. But she soon realized that Val’s idea of a short synopsis and hers were two completely different things. After giving her a detailed plot outline, he started acting out one of the murder scenes. It was enthralling and chilling.
“’Why, Ms. Hathaway,’” Val continued in a deep voice that sent shivers down Devlin’s spine. “’What a pleasant surprise. Won’t you join me?’” Val held up his hand like he was holding up a blood-dripping heart. “Ray and I were just having a little heart to—” Val suddenly cut off and got up from his chair. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Devlin. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.” He turned and headed for the door.
“But wait,” she called. “You didn’t finish the scene. What happened to the librarian?”
He glanced at the long driveway and the car coming down it. “I think in a few moments you aren’t going to care anything about Ms. Hathaway.”
Devlin turned to look at the car. It wasn’t a car, but a truck. Chester’s truck. Except Chester wasn’t driving it. Holden was.
“He came,” she whispered.
“And about time,” Val said. “I was struggling to figure out what was going to happen next to Ms. Hathaway. I hate to kill off librarians.”
She looked at Val. “You texted him and told him I was here, didn’t you?”
He
smiled. “Double Diamond boys always stick together.”
Chapter Sixteen
Holden had thought that Val had let his over-creative brain run amok when he texted he was at Dixon’s Boardinghouse with a weeping, lovesick woman named Devlin. From what Holden had witnessed, Devlin was not a woman who showed her emotions easily. She certainly hadn’t shown them today when he’d discovered her deception. But once Holden got out of Chester’s truck, he realized that Val hadn’t exaggerated. With her swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks, Devlin looked like she’d been crying for hours.
The sight broke his heart.
As soon as he stepped onto the porch, tears started falling again. “I’m sorry,” she said in a quavering voice. “I d-didn’t mean to dig up Broccoli. And I sh-shouldn’t have gone on your land w-without your permission. Or t-taken samples. I d-did it before I knew I loved you. And once I did know, finding oil no longer m-mattered. I d-don’t care about proving to my family that I’m not a complete failure. I only care about one thing.”
He took a step closer. “And what’s that?”
She sniffed. “That you’ll always l-love me.”
“Devlin.” He moved the few feet that separated them and pulled her into his arms. She melted into him like she belonged there. And she did.
“I’m sorry too,” he said. “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry. I was just upset that you forced me to face a past I didn’t want to face. But it’s time for me to stop keeping the past buried. Amanda was my little sister and I loved her. I don’t need a chunk of land to pay tribute to that love. The best way to pay tribute to Mandy and her zest for life is to live my life to the fullest like I know she would’ve wanted me to. And my life wouldn’t be full without the woman I love.”
She drew back and looked at him with teary eyes. “You still love me?”
