He cried out in pain and released me. His knees bent together, trying to shield the area. The gun fell from his hands. It skittered across the floor. Instinct I didn’t know I had set in. I dove for it, but the man regained his senses quickly. He dove too.
We rolled around. Our hands grasped at the gun, each of us trying to get it from the other. A desperate hope of survival on my part. A desperate need to kill on his. He punched me across the face. Pain exploded across my cheek as stars burst in dancing lights across my vision. My focus lost, he took the gun and stood up
The world spun, and I pushed up on my hands, knees. Vulnerable, naked, but still with a will to survive.
“You look different,” he said. “Your face is the same, but your body...”
The world settled a bit, and I looked up at him. He traced a finger over my shoulder. An unease settled in my belly.
“You had a scar here.” He slid the edge of his nail along the skin on my ribs. “From falling off your bike as a child.”
I shuddered. She had a scar. Not me. I might have worn her face, but I wasn’t that woman.
“That only proves you’re mistaken. I’m not whoever you think I am. Just go. Please.”
Desperation laced my words. I felt vulnerable. I was vulnerable. He could do whatever he wanted to me. No one could help me. Cooper was dead, and Erik was across the country.
“Oh, I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “And neither are you.”
He put the gun to my head. I closed my eyes. Whatever my life this was meant to be, it was about to be over.
At six months old, my entire world shattered around me. Bits and pieces of a life that had never truly been my own—it all came from other people. How I looked, my personality—Erik orchestrated it all.
Cooper helped me discover the truth. But the chance to discover who I was outside of all that was about to be torn away.
The sound of shattering glass made me open my eyes and look up. The obsessed man fell to the floor among shards of the dresser lamp. Erik towered over him, a look of rage on his face I’d never seen before.
My heart stuttered, unsure whether I should be afraid or thankful. Instinctively, the fear dispersed. All I wanted was for Erik to hold me close. Get rid of everything that had happened and go back to our blissful existence. Even if it meant losing the temporary freedom I had.
Erik’s face softened when he looked at me, naked on the floor. “Lenore!”
He pulled me up into his arms, and I hugged him back, taking as much strength from him as I could. I needed it. Every bit I needed from him.
As soon as I saw Erik, an overwhelming rush of love coursed through me. I should have been enraged, but I was relieved.
Thunder crashed through the air, and I jumped, gripping his shirt. I trembled, swallowing back the lump of emotion in my throat. My head spun with emotions, and I could only hang onto him to stay upright.
“What the hell happened?” He pulled away and walked to the closet. He grabbed the robe resting on the hook and brought it over, wrapping it over my shoulders.
I slid my arms in, pulled it close and tightened the belt. “I... what... what are you doing here?”
Too much had happened in too small a span. Nothing seemed real. Nothing felt right.
“When you didn’t answer my calls, I knew something was wrong. I took the red eye home.”
The phone had buzzed last night. I had ignored it. He must have called more than once, but I’d been blissfully asleep in Coopers arms.
“Lenore, baby. What happened? Are you all right?” He gripped my shoulders and dipped his head to look in my eyes.
I stepped back. Something about the way he looked at me reminded me that with Erik, I had no will of my own. That whatever happened next, he would orchestrate to fit into the life he’d created. An actual life. My life.
“Who are you?” I asked.
He frowned, looking puzzled. “Lenore, whatever happened here–”
The man on the ground moaned. Realizing the gun was still in his reach, I knelt down and grabbed it. I stared at it in my bandaged hand. It felt heavy, hard, and cold. It had been used to kill Cooper. It had almost killed me.
An odd sense of peace washed over me. Not something I could describe. Only that it felt hollow, like whatever moral compass I had simply turned off.
I shot the man in the temple. His head bounced slightly from the reaction, but then he was still.
“Christ! Lenore!” Erik half ducked from the sound of the shot, before looking at me with wide eyes.
I aimed the gun at his face.
“What the hell?” He held up his hands and took a step back. “Babe, put the gun down.”
My hand was surprisingly steady. “Who am I?”
“What do you mean? You’re my wife. Lenore?”
“Stop. Lying.” I ground my teeth together. The confusion, the fear, it all turned to anger in an instant. “I saw the lab. I saw the files. I saw your notes from the book. I saw them.”
My heart burst again. The thought of another woman with Erik all but destroying my soul.
Do I even have a soul?
He let out a breath and ran long, thick fingers through his hair. It gave him a disheveled appearance. His suit was wrinkled, and his tie crooked. Probably from the flight. And now, with his hair sticking out at every angle, it almost gave him a comical tired ‘80s cop persona.
“Lenore, I know this all seems confusing. And I’ll explain everything. I promise.”
“Explain it now.” I punched my arm out, freshening the aim of the gun.
He held up his hands. “Baby, there are two bodies in our room. We need to get them downstairs. Okay? I can take care of all of this. But we have to get them downstairs first. The longer they stay up here, the more at risk we are.”
“At risk for what?”
“Police,” Erik said. “If someone heard the gunshots, they’ll have called the police. And even if they didn’t, someone will look for these men.”
The last thing I needed to worry about was the police. If Erik rotted in a jail cell, I’d still care. As much as I didn’t want to. But if he was gone, I might not get answers. And if others found out the truth, I’m not sure they would let me see the light of day again.
“Fine. You move the bodies.”
I had no intention of giving him the opportunity to seize the gun.
11
Erik moved the bodies to the basement on his own. The way he maneuvered them, well, he had definitely done it before. Dead weight is exactly that, but he knew how to get the best leverage. How had he moved the three dead cadavers inside his house with no one noticing? What had he done with all the spare parts?
The dead men were laid next to each other on the far side of the basement, just beneath a long, rectangular metal door. Eric wasn’t even out of breath. He looked at me, sweat staining the pits of his suit shirt.
“I know you’re confused.”
“You have no idea what I am.”
Confused, yes. But more than that. Rage was a good adjective. Downright livid. Whatever was worse than that.
“You lied to me,” I said, a tight grip still on the gun. I didn’t aim it at him anymore, though. Something about hurting Erik seemed wrong. And that familiar pain came back to my chest.
“And you slept with another man,” he said. “The naked one on the floor.”
No denying that. Trying to do so would just add insult to injury. And despite having enjoyed every moment with Cooper, and even wishing that he were still alive, part of me still regretted what I’d done. That dull ache grew stronger just thinking about it. I rubbed my chest.
“And you have another lover.” I nodded to the broken picture, still on the floor.
His gaze flickered to the picture and then back to me. He shook his head, running fingers through his short hair. “It’s not what you think, Lenore.”
“Isn’t it?” I scoffed. “You made me to replace her.”
My stomach swirle
d with nausea, and I wasn’t even sure if it was because I was in the presence of two dead bodies. Part of me thought I should be more panicked. That I should at the very least feel some guilt. Cooper died because of me. The other man I killed, but to be honest, I couldn’t find a shred of reason to have remorse. He’d murdered the woman whose face I wore.
Was part of her still inside me? Maybe that’s why I felt so cold about it. Even if he had tried to kill me first. Kill this face a second time. Or maybe it would hit me later, but I’d worry about it then.
Kill me for the first time? The second. I didn’t understand how any of this worked.
“Yes,” Erik said. “That was the original plan.”
That brought emotion. And I couldn’t understand why, but it hurt so damn bad I wanted to rip my heart from my chest and be rid of it for good.
“Tell me about her.” I picked up the picture and traced the edge of the frame with my thumb. “Is she part of me?”
Erik gave a wistful smile. “No. She left me for another man.”
Shock jolted through me. My immediate reaction was to wonder how anyone could leave Erik. He was such a good man. A kind and doting man.
A man who created you from dead bodies.
It was the tiniest bit of reasoning. It was enough. I shouldn’t technically be alive. Erik, as much as I thought he was a good man, had some very serious flaws.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I worked too much.” He leaned against the metal table and loosened his tie even more. “I loved her, Lenore. God, did I love her, but I neglected her. And she found someone who could love her so much better.”
Pain laced his words. His eyes crinkled in the corner as he glanced at the picture in my bandaged hand. I wanted to tear it up and burn it in front of him. Maybe because I was jealous—and I was. But also, it seemed like it would hurt him. And that also seemed like a good idea.
I grunted, wishing this pain would stop, along with the indecision. “So you made me.”
He nodded. “So I made you. And I swore I’d be the most doting husband in the world.”
“We’re not married.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “No, we’re not. At least not in the eyes of the law. But then, you’re not a person in the eyes of the law.”
My grip tightened on the gun. The way he said it felt cold. Something I had never heard from him before.
“You kept me hostage.”
“I kept you safe.” The coldness now had a hard edge.
“You kept me away from other people. You were scared I’d leave you like she did.”
“And you did.” He glared at me. “The first chance you got, you fucked a stranger.”
My teeth clacked and I flinched slightly.
"How did it feel?" He took a step toward me. "Riding up and down on his cock? Moaning like a damn bitch in heat. Did you like his cock better than mine?"
A dark shadow pressed against my mind. "You were watching us?"
He rolled his eyes. "Dear, sweet, Lenore. So naive. Yes, I was watching you. I've been watching you the whole time."
"Of course you were." I shook my head. It should have surprised me, but after everything it just didn't.
"You've been trying to solve the mystery for months. Snooping around." He waved a hand at me. "All you had to do was move forward. Why couldn't you do that?"
"Cooper was right. You've been monitoring the phones. Blocking me out so I couldn't find the truth."
"The spell should have kept you in line."
"Fuck you." My chest tightened so hard, I fell from the chair. “Erik... what...”
“A fail-safe.” He pushed off the table and walked over to me. “Anytime you thought about betraying me or even lying to me, I know you felt it. That tiny bit of pain in your chest. An omen of guilt. The worse the betrayal, the worse the pain.”
“How did you—“
“Necromancy is a wonderful thing.” He knelt beside me and took the gun from my hand. “Which I know it surprises you, because I’m a man of science. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that there’s room in the world for both.”
The pain kept me from replying. My heart pounded harder. Pain flourished.
“I thought I’d figured it out.” He stood and rubbed his chin. “Maybe when I fumbled for that moment. It shocked me. I never expected it to work. But it did, and you saved my life, Lenore.”
I laid down, my breath getting quicker. The shards of broken glass from the broken picture frame bit into my arms. But it was nothing compared to the tightness in my chest.
“But, Cooper…”
“The spell should have deterred you from even thinking about being with another man” Erik said. He sat in the chair, set the gun next to the keyboard, and typed in the password to his computer. “I must make sure not to get distracted next time. “
“Erik.” My fingers clawed at the ground, as if somehow I’d grip onto something that would save me. “Erik, please. If I saved your life, spare mine now.”
The keyboard clacked a few more times, and then he pulled a key ring from his pocket. He chose a small key and then unlocked the bottom drawer of his desk. He pulled out an old, leather-bound book with sigils and engravings. A picture of it had been in his files, so I knew exactly what it was.
The Necromancer’s Handbook. At least that’s what he had called it. What it said on the cover, I did not understand.
The pain intensified again, and I cried out. It felt like something heavy sat on my chest. Like my heart was too big to fit.
“I know it hurts.” He spun in the chair and came over to me. “I’m glad it does.”
My back arched off the floor. Dark appeared under my skin, black and inky like a poison—or death coming to reclaim me.
He watched me curiously for a few moments, his head tilted. Then he sat on the floor and lifted my head into his lap, stroking my hair softly. It became hard to breathe. My body jerked involuntarily.
“Shh,” he said. “It’ll be over soon.”
My hands flopped on the ground. My eyes rolled back into my head. I didn’t want to die. Not when I had never had the chance to live.
Erik’s eyes were back to the calm, sweet eyes I remembered. It was soothing. I got lost in them. Instead of going fast, my heartbeat slowed. Even though I couldn’t breathe, I no longer panicked. Darkness tinged the edge of the world. Erik stroked my face. My arm fell to the side, resting on the cold floor, as my body relaxed.
And a large shard grazed against the skin of my fingers.
The will to live surged back through me.
I gripped the glass and swung. Erik screamed as it sliced through his cheek. I pulled hard. Blood poured from his face, splashing against mine. Adrenaline coursed through me, and my heart gave a hard boom. I pushed up from the floor and grabbed the gun. Erik still held his face, screaming and cursing for the half Glasgow smile he’d just received.
I pointed the gun at him, half hunched over, running on raw determination and survival instinct.
“Reverse it.” I all but croaked. The black vines all but covered my arms now. "Reverse this. Now."
He glowered at me. It was a mixture of betrayal and anger, etched in every line of his face.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked. “Why couldn’t you just be devoted to me?”
Maybe if he’d given me the free will to choose, I might have been. Instead, he’d tried to turn me into a prisoner because of his fear.
“Reverse the damn spell!” I screamed. To prove my point, I shot the gun an inch from his leg. “And if you try anything funny, I will kill you.”
I meant to shoot him in the leg, but he didn’t need to know that.
He jumped and scurried from the floor, leaving a trail of blood in his wake. I worried he might decide to just reverse the full spell—though I didn’t know if that were possible.
The pain pushed forward again. Erik grabbed the book, flipping to a specific page.
“So help me, if
I feel something off, I will shoot you before you before I die, understand?”
His jaw tightened, but he spoke in a language I’d never heard, but somehow seemed familiar. Maybe because I’d been birthed by it. As he spoke, the veins pulled back, receding up my arms, back toward my heart. The pain ebbed and faded.
When I felt the last bit of release I nodded. “Enough.”
He stopped reading, closed the book and put it on the desk. He clicked his tongue, face going pensive.
“So then. Now what?”
I loved him. Even though a spell manufactured it, I still loved him.
But I couldn’t trust him. As much as I wished I could. As much as I wished things were different, I knew Erik would most likely try to find a way to make me pay for what happened with Cooper. For everything. Somehow, someway, his own insecurities would walk him down a path that ended with my suffering—or worse.
So, I did the only thing I could do.
I shot him in the head.
12
Poe teased his way down my body. His mouth trailing passionate kisses that left goosebumps in their wake. I arched my hips, wanting more. The new bed had already been put to good use many times. So had the dresser, the kitchen, the couch. Pretty much every place in the house we could claim, we did.
It was Cooper’s face that looked up at me. That damn, sexy dimple still poked out of his left cheek. His stark green eyes filled with lust as he continued to move down. He was agonizingly slow, the nips of pleasure only making me need him more. A wicked grin turned up his lips. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Driving. Me. Insane.
“Poe!” I bucked beneath him, practically begging for more.
He slid his arms under my ass and pulled me close. His warm breath brushed over the most sensitive place and I shuddered with anticipation. Then his mouth was on me and I cried out at the surge of pleasure. It raced straight to my core, and I slid my fingers through his dark hair.
“Yes!”
As his tongue moved over me, working me in a way that seemed impossible, the pleasure mounted. He slid one finger inside me, then two, stretching me. It filled me and set my nerve endings on fire.
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