“Cas could do moving away,” I begin, my tone as serious as his, showing my words have been thought through. “Lindy’s said he’s doing everything she’s asked, but that his old crowd is trying to pull him back into their circle. Transferring here, making new friends, might be the best for him.”
“He’s a good kid. I need to step carefully with him though. Now,” he taps his skull, “things are straighter in here, I can think of him as a teenager and not as a toddler. It’s been hard when my brain couldn’t accept time had moved on. With the void in my head, I could be told, but I couldn’t understand.”
“Boys his age are tough to handle, Liz. They want to push at boundaries and think they know more than they do.” Resting my fingers on his thigh, I squeeze it. “It would be good to have someone to share the burden with me. If only to listen to my complaints.”
“All I know about being a teenager was that I was one once. But hell, Vanna, I want Cas to have a better life than the one I had.”
I think it’s that that makes me realise he’d been thinking with a brain of a man aged twenty-six. Now those extra twelve years’ experience are bringing more to his table. A patience and understanding which had been absent before.
He purses his lips. “You’re saying you’ll move here and let me be a father to our son. But what about as a husband?” He’s picked up on what I haven’t said. “Vanna, if you can’t tell me now, just understand there’s nothing more I want than to be by your side, to be a husband for you.” His hand rises to my chin, and he turns me so I’m looking him in the eye. “I want you, Vanna. Or at least, I want us to give it a fuckin’ good try.”
“What would you do?” I ask out of interest. “If you met me on the street as I am now? Would you give me a second look, or would you walk on by?”
“A second look? You were a stunner, babe, and still are. I’d give you a third and fourth look, but no more. ‘Cause by then, I’d have marched you back to my cave.” He allows me a moment to snort, then asks, “Same question back at ya?”
“You? Hot as you are on that bike of yours?” I pretend to fan myself.
His turn to nudge me. “You think I’m hot?” He waggles his eyebrows.
“Hell yeah,” I admit. “When you’re not waking me at god-awful hours.”
He has the grace to look sheepish. “Sorry about that. You were the first one I wanted to talk to about the memory I’ve gotten back. I just needed to have some time to come to terms with it myself, then it was you I came to.”
“Should have told me, Liz. I would have gone to the hospital with you.”
“I know. But Van, I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t want to worry you.” A muscle ticks in his cheek. “I was, am, scared. My memory went, my memory came back. I feel like a walking time bomb, you know? I’m almost frightened to go to sleep in case I don’t remember shit when I wake up. I always knew there was something wrong. Every fuckin’ day I’d wake up testing my memory out, not even thinking that wasn’t what normal people did. I’m terrified I won’t have long with you, I want to make the most of it.”
Is this him voicing his fears, or a real risk? “What did the doctor say?”
He shrugs. “Doctors seem to think I’ll be okay. But I know what tricks the brain can play.”
I’d come to Pueblo and met Lizard when he was a member of the club but hadn’t known who I was. I’d been with him when he’d gotten his old memories back and remembered me as his wife of twelve years ago. Neither man had been the Lizard I’d known, neither man had been one I was comfortable with. This man though… There are traces there of who he was before, but also a maturity gained over the years. This is the man I could see as the man by my side, and a dad to our boy.
“We’ll cope, Lizard. Whatever happens. I’ve been waiting for you for twelve years, and I’m not going to run away now. We’re a team. We always have been, even during those times you never consciously knew.”
I stand, turn, and put my knees on the bed either side of his thighs, clasping his face in my hands. “The chances are good that you will stay as you are now with the bulk of your memory intact. I’m no doctor, but you had a TBI, which started a tumour growing. The tumour is now out, and unless it grows back, I’m sure there’s nothing to be overly worried about. We could all have these bombs you’re talking about ticking in our heads. Who can read the future? I could have dementia heading my way, who knows? All we can do is grab what we’ve got and hang onto it with both hands. Live for the now, Liz. Not the future which is unknown.”
He stares at me. “How did you get so wise?” Then, without waiting for an answer, slides his hand around the back of my head and takes advantage of the position I put myself in.
As his lips move over mine, I close my eyes, feeling emotional tears prick. I’m home.
Half an hour ago, I’d have said I’d needed more time. Five minutes ago, I’d have said it was too soon. But now, as his tongue sweeps into my mouth, I respond just as if twelve years hadn’t passed. My hands grip his shoulders, fingers digging in, holding him tight, never wanting him to leave me again.
His familiar taste that I haven’t forgotten sends shivers down my spine. When his hands part my robe and slip under my t-shirt, the familiar touch fondling my breasts makes me sigh into his mouth and grind my pelvis against his thickened dick.
When he removes his mouth from mine, it’s only to rasp against my ear, “If you don’t want this to end up with my cock in your pussy, tell me to stop now.”
His words, filthier than he’s used with me before, heighten my arousal.
I shake my head. It’s obvious he misunderstands when he tries to lift me off him.
“I want you, Liz. Right here, right now.”
He tries to raise me. Though his hand now seems able to open and shut, he’s still got residual weakness on his right side, that, together with the fact I’ve put on weight, I know I need to help.
I clamber off and fall to my back on the bed.
“Take off your robe.”
The heat in his eyes makes my insecurities fade, worries about the toll the years have taken on my body disappear. I scramble out of my robe and pull my top over my head. I’ve just one thought, I want him inside me now.
“Fuck, it’s been too long, Vanna.” His nostrils flare as he tugs at my sleep shorts. I help get rid of the offending object by toeing them down my legs, uncaring they catch around one ankle.
I’m suddenly shy, but his eyes blaze as they fall onto my body. I watch as he takes in the silvery stretch marks which had faded but not gone, my childbearing stomach even rounder now, but it’s as if he doesn’t care at all.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” he rasps as he lowers his face to my mound, breathing in deep, his eyes closing briefly. “Damn you smell good.”
I can barely think anymore as he lowers his head, his tongue circling my clit, before sucking it into his mouth. His touch, so familiar yet so different as it’s been years since anything’s been this close to me except for my vibrator.
Tears leak from my eyes due to emotional overload as time slips away, my body responding to him as if it was only yesterday when he last touched me like this.
“Jesus, you’re tight, babe.” He works one finger inside me, then another. “So fuckin’ tight. So fuckin’ responsive, just like I remember.” His voice catches as though this carries as much significance for him as it does for me. Then he adds a second finger and curls them around. Christ. This is new.
My toes curl and I arch my back as twin sensations hit as he assaults my G-spot and my clit.
“You gonna come for me, Evangeline?” he growls against my mound, elongating my name in that sexy way he does.
Heaven help me, I don’t have a chance against his talented fingers, tongue and vibration from that gravelly voice. My muscles ripple, tense, then I’m bowing my back off the bed. Jesus, I think I see stars. My vibrator doesn’t come close to what this man can do with his mouth.
“Lizard,” I get
out once I’m able to breathe again. Raising my head, I swallow what I was going to tell him when I see him gazing at me. He’s got tears in his eyes.
Unashamedly brushing one away that’s leaked onto his cheek, Liz speaks instead. “Nothing, fuckin’ nothing is better than watching you come. I don’t know how I ever could forget.”
“I think you’ve learned some new skills.”
“Vanna, I…” he chokes.
“I’m not complaining,” I tell him fast. “As long as it’s only me who gets the benefit from now on.”
“On that, you can fuckin’ bet.” He worms his way up the bed, then swears, twists and sits up, using his left hand to open the drawer by the right-hand side of the bed. He takes out a condom.
“Give it to me,” I offer. “I’ll put that on.”
“Take care, woman. I’m close.”
He sucks in air as I slide the latex down his cock. Heeding his warning, I restrain from fondling any more than I have to, then I lie back down. He sits back on his knees, pulling my ass up onto his thighs, and then he’s working his way in. I gasp, it’s been a long time, and he’s bigger than my BOB.
He’s in and starting to move. That twist, that swivel is new. Better. Wow. Then my ability to think is gone as the air is filled with the scent of sex and grunts, groans, and sighs of appreciation on both our parts.
I come again, and take him with me, his completion accompanied by a roar.
“Vanna, Vanna. Mine.”
I take air into my depleted lungs and respond, “Yours.”
Chapter Forty-Three
Lizard
I hadn’t expected my conversation with Vanna to go quite the way it had, but I’m definitely not complaining. Something between us had just clicked, and actions which had been familiar twelve years back, before I suffered the damage to my head, had returned as if we slipped into a dance we’d never stopped.
It was different, she was tighter than I remembered, but maybe I was comparing her to the women I’d been with since I patched in. While I hate that I’d been with a variety of girls, it had left me with new techniques which had worked on her. I promised and meant it from the bottom of my heart that I’d never stray again.
I’d never have looked elsewhere had I remembered. I hadn’t been me then, I’d been someone else. If I hadn’t had had that blow to my head, I’d never have stepped out on her.
We’d cuddled, dozed, then made another attempt to make up for lost time. Quite successfully, I’d had her shouting my name, and hers might have escaped my mouth.
When we’d woken again, the sun was streaming in through the gaps in the blind, and she’d reached for her phone.
“Time?”
“Eleven. Christ. I’ve got to be at work in an hour.”
“I’m the manager. I’ll give you the day off.”
“No,” she contradicts, batting my arm. “I’m the manager, and I’m going in. You still need rest, Liz. Especially as you didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Hmm. For the first time in weeks I don’t feel tired, and Demon would give me my old job back in a flash were I to ask. I may not be able to lay down ink, but I can probably stab at the keys on a keyboard well enough. But I’m not going to do that to her.
“You’ve got time to grab something to eat before you leave.” I stand, stretch and yawn, and scratch under my armpits before leaning down and pulling on yesterday’s jeans. My t-shirt I just carry. “I’ll go shower in my room while you get ready and meet you downstairs. Oh, and Vanna. I want you in my bed tonight.”
“Isn’t it too soon?”
Fuck no. Years too late. “Will you at least think about it? I’m taking nothing back I said yesterday.”
She agrees with a serious nod. I stare at her for a moment, drinking my fill, seeing how the years have not only matured but improved her. I realise I’m imprinting her on my mind, so terrified I’ll again forget her.
“I want to renew our vows,” I say fast. “I want a new ring.” Something concrete to wear that will remind me forever.
Her expression shows me she knows exactly why. “You’re okay, Liz.”
“For now.” All I can do is hope nothing changes.
As if she knows more words won’t convince me, she sits up and waves her hand dismissively. “Scat. I need to get dressed. And if you stay…”
My serious mood fades and I grin, knowing exactly what will happen as I wouldn’t be able to resist if I saw her naked again. I go.
Down in the clubroom, I wait for her, knowing Vanna’s not a woman who takes too much time getting ready. As I hear her at the top of the stairs, I go stand at the bottom, balancing on the one crutch I’m still using. I’ve decided to use that elliptical while she’s at work. Ink won’t be here, he’ll be at the auto-shop, but someone will be around who can spot me in case I fall off and knock my head. Heaven forbid. If that happens, I don’t know who the fuck I’ll be when I wake up.
We walk into the kitchen. With my eyes solely on her, I don’t take much notice of who else is here. Using my right hand, I pull out a chair for her, then when she sits, take her mouth with mine.
“Oh for fuck’s sake. That’s it. What are you putting in the coffee, Jeannie? Or are you slipping something in the food?”
Jeannie bats Judge with the towel she’s holding, then looks at me as I sit next to my wife. She stares for a moment, then her face widens into a grin.
“What the fuck you talking about, Judge?” I ask, then look around the table. There, at the opposite end is Mace, with Shayla planted on his lap.
As he sees me watching, he shrugs.
“Christ. It’s in the air, isn’t it? Is it catching?” Judge looks concerned. “’Cause I’m not ready for a bitch, no way.”
“No one would have you, Brother. You’re safe,” Mace tells him, chuckling.
“You not working, Mace?” I ask him, wondering why he’s here.
But he just kisses Shayla in the same way I’d just done to my wife. “Pyro’s given us the day off. I had a late night last night.” He sends a slightly accusing look my way.
“What’s your excuse, sweetheart?” I direct my light-hearted query toward the woman on his lap.
“I had a late night too,” she explains, with a wink at Mace.
“Jesus.” Prez walks in. He looks at me, then at Mace, then shakes his head. “Love makes the fuckin’ world go around, but it doesn’t make bank from our businesses.” His brown eyes are twinkling. He’s got Vi, he can relate.
Jeannie hands me and Vanna each a plate, we start eating. I try my knife and successfully cut my own sausage.
“You getting your movement back?” Demon asks, eyeing me thoughtfully.
“Some,” I admit. “Got to work on it. But it’s certainly coming.”
“Good. Would like to see you get back to work.”
I hear a deep breath and glancing to my side see Vanna’s face drop in disappointment. Demon notices as well.
“Vanna, that doesn’t mean you stop working.”
“Certainly doesn’t.” Vi walks in and puts her arms around her man. He smiles lovingly at her and gives a nod. “In a few months, I’ll be stopping work.”
“What?” I ask, incredulously, knowing she loves her job.
With a woman’s intuition, Vanna asks, “Are congratulations in order?”
Vi nods. Vanna squeals, as does Jeannie who asks, “When?”
“Six months’ time. Gives you, Liz, a chance to get your hand working again. And with Liz tattooing, we’ll need a manager.”
Vanna beams for a moment, then her face falls again, and she turns to me. “But that’s your job.”
“Honestly, sweetheart, I’d rather ink, that’s what I’m good at. Took on everything at the shop as it was just myself and a part-timer when we started out. Moved into new premises, and sort of continued. The admin work started to take over. You’d be doing me a favour, doll.”
“And us,” Demon grins. “Buzz says you’re a better bookkeeper.”
I glare at him, but I don’t really mind. Anything to keep Vanna close and happy.
She cleans her plate, drinks her coffee then stands. “As the boss is here,” she nods at Demon, “I better run and not be late.”
I tell her to have a good day, then as she goes to leave, I ask, “Haven’t you forgotten something?” and tap my lips.
She redeems herself by bending her head and allowing me a non-PG kiss which makes me want to take her straight back to bed.
“Oh fuck. I’m outta here.” Judge gets up and makes his way out of the kitchen to peals of laughter from Mace and Shayla.
“You’re just jealous!” Mace calls out.
Judge gives him the finger.
“Give me a minute,” I tell her, reaching for my crutch. “I’ll see you out to your car.”
We go out via the kitchen door as it’s closer to where her car is parked.
“You think Cas is going to be alright with us getting back together?” I ask, opening the driver’s door for her.
She hesitates before getting in, taking my question seriously. “He’ll have to get used to sharing me, but I think he’ll be good. He’ll be pleased for me, and for himself. As long as you don’t come down too hard on him.”
My mind goes back to my prez’s and Vi’s happy news. “You used to want a big family, Van. Well, we did. We planned on three.”
“Didn’t happen, though, did it?” She shrugs.
“It’s not too late. You’re still young.”
She turns to me, her eyes wide. “You want a baby with me?”
My lips press together. Seems no reason why not, and I’m not going to rob her of anything else. “Nothing I’d want more, Vanna. Just, I suppose you’ll have to think about it carefully.” I tap my head. “If my brain goes again…”
“Not going to borrow trouble before it comes, Liz. Isn’t that what you used to say? If we have another child, if the worst happens, then I’ve done it once on my own and I’ll do it again.”
“If anything ever happens to me,” I check she’s listening carefully as this is important, “you belong to me, and I belong to the club. Club protects women, even if their man is long gone. You hear what I’m saying? You’re part of us now, Vanna. You and Cas. You’ll never have to do anything on your own again.”
Devil's Spawn: Satan's Devils MC Colorado Chapter #6 Page 37
