Her restraint finally cracked. “Why can’t someone else go to this meeting? Send one of the aides or something,” she burst forth, trying in vain to sound like she was only making a suggestion and not complaining.
Casey heaved a huge sigh and dropped a pair of pants he had been packing. “Do we have to have this conversation every time I have to go meet with the Council?”
“Oh, don’t give me that. You’re not actually meeting the Council. They adjourned for six months, you told me that yourself when you got home,” she accused.
“Okay, I have to meet with Councilor Meecham, are you satisfied?” Casey turned so that they were now both facing each other.
“No. Why can’t his wonderful honor the Councilor condescend to come to Corizen for once?” she asked crossing her arms.
Casey turned away again. “Meecham thinks it’s too dangerous for him to come to Corizen with the presidential election coming up.”
“Not too dangerous for the Ambassador to leave his family alone here during the elections.”
“Oh, come on, Andie,” Casey replied wearily. “You are practically a Denicorizen yourself; you know you don’t need me here. You speak the language more fluently than anyone in the whole International Complex, you’ve been all over the planet in one way or another, you married one of the most idolized revolutionaries, and if I asked any random person on the street what they thought about you, they’d probably praise you to the skies.”
“No,” Andie refuted quietly. “They’d praise Sirra Bruche to the skies.”
“Well, they love Andrea Morten, too,” he replied, a bit more subdued.
“You are talking about a world that doesn’t exist anymore, Casey,” Andie reminded heatedly. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the wife of Laeren Bruche anymore, I haven’t left the Complex in more than a year, and the random person on the street hasn’t seen the wife of the Ambassador in public for even longer. The days of visiting hospitals and villages and orphanages are in the past.” Casey said nothing to this. “You don’t want me to go anywhere on Corizen with you, fine. I’ll respect that. You don’t want me to go off-planet with you. Fine, I’ll respect your wishes there too. Just don’t expect me to like it.”
“You make it sound like I don’t want you with me, but it’s for your own safety that I don’t want you coming! You know I’m a Red List target,” justified Casey, his voice rising.
“It’s just as well, because if I left home as much as you do, when would I ever see Tiran? We would be gone all the time,” she muttered bitterly.
“Andie, I . . .”
“But,” Andie interrupted him loudly, “since I don’t travel with you, then when do I spend time with you, Casey? For a few brief moments before you dash off to yet another meeting or appearance or event required by your job? I’m supposed to be satisfied with that? What is your idea of marriage? Just two people sharing the same terminal address?”
“Sometimes it has to be that way,” Casey retorted angrily.
“If you feel that way, no wonder your marriage to Jo lasted only a couple years.” Andie was shocked to hear the words come out of her mouth. Casey looked like she had slapped him. Immediately she wanted to take it back.
“That was low,” he said, his voice icy.
“Casey, I’m sorry . . .” Andie began.
“No, don’t apologize. You’ve made it clear for years that I don’t measure up as a husband. Not next to your precious Laeren.”
Andie felt as if Casey were twisting a knife in her heart. “Casey, please, I didn’t . . . wait . . .” But Casey had shouldered his way past her and out of the room.
Tears blurred her eyes and she stumbled to the chair by the window. She sank into the chair and pressed her forehead to the glass. She wished she could take her words back. It was cruel to taunt Casey about his failed first marriage.
Looking out the window she sighed heavily. She was so tired of the arguments. She didn’t want to fight anymore. Yet she couldn’t understand what was wrong with Casey. She had known for years that Casey felt inadequate compared to Laeren, and she tried very carefully not to compare the two men, out loud or even in her own thoughts. Why in the world was he bringing it up now? The argument had somehow wound its way pretty far off track. She had been angry that he was leaving so soon, but mostly she was disappointed that she wouldn’t get to spend more time with him. But somehow it was only the anger that Casey heard, not the disappointment.
Andie raised her head and stared at the swaying tree branches outside her window. Why couldn’t she just tell him how she really felt? That she was afraid all she had sacrificed in the Revolution was in vain. That she feared that the Brotherhood would take control of Roma. That she worried day and night about Tiran who was steadily growing more distant. That she truly was afraid that some nameless, faceless hand of the Brotherhood would succeed in killing Casey, and she would be left a widow once again. How she ached with loneliness when he was gone. And deep down, a secret fear that the Union really was working to take over Corizen. However, none of these thoughts would surface as words. Every time she tried she ended up accusing him or antagonizing him, or like tonight, wounding him deeply.
Footsteps in the hall recalled Andie from her melancholy reverie. She rose from her chair and hurried to the door to see Tiran disappearing into her room.
“Tiran?” she called.
“Yeah, Mom,” came the muffled response.
“Where have you been?” Andie asked, heading toward Tiran’s room.
“Oh, just walking around,” Tiran said vaguely. Andie took a deep breath and tried to figure out what she could say without driving her daughter even farther away. She pushed open the door to find Tiran taking off her jacket and hanging it up.
“I talked to Master Otto today. He said that you are ready to sit the entrance exam for the University anytime. That’s pretty exciting!”
“Mm-hmm,” Tiran murmured as she sat on her bed.
“So what do you think you want to do? You can apply to go to the University here, or if you want we can see about an exchange program on Terra or Zenith.”
“Oh, I don’t want to go off-planet. The University here will be fine, Mom,” Tiran respond quickly. Andie was disappointed. She had been hoping that Tiran would jump at the chance to go off-planet. Getting away from home might do her some good.
“Where’s Dad?” Tiran asked, changing the subject.
“He has to leave off-planet tonight. He’s getting ready for the trip,” Andie answered, her voice carefully neutral.
“Again? Aren’t they ever going to let him stay home?” Tiran sounded crestfallen.
“Well, you know when things are so unsettled here on Corizen they are going to need to see him more often.”
“I guess so,” Tiran grumbled as she lay down on her bed. Andie tried to think of what else she could say to prolong the conversation, but Tiran forestalled her. “I’m a bit tired, Mom. Do you mind if I rest for a bit?”
“No, of course not. I’ll let you know when Dad’s ready to leave,” Andie replied, a bit disappointed.
“Thanks, Mom.”
Andie closed Tiran’s door and started back down the hall, puzzling over Tiran’s behavior. She ran into Casey at the head of the stairs. “Can I talk to you about something?” Casey asked stiffly.
“Okay,” Andie agreed, a bit guardedly. She felt herself getting defensive already and struggled to fight it. She wanted to hear Casey out with an open mind. But why did he have to sound so cold? In the room, Casey shut the door and turned to face her. “I don’t think our marriage is going like we thought it would, Andie. Maybe it’s time we made some changes.”
Andie nodded in relief. “I’d really like to work . . .”
“So maybe we should consider a separation,” Casey continued as if he didn’t hear her.
“A separation?�
� Andie repeated hollowly. She suddenly felt like she might be sick.
“Yeah, just to give us some time to work on ourselves, to try and get things in perspective. Then maybe we can give our marriage one last try,” Casey said hurriedly.
“One last try? Are you planning to divorce me?” Andie asked weakly. What in the world had come over Casey? He couldn’t possibly be talking like this. Divorce! Her head spun.
“I just need some time, Andie. You demand so much. I need to take a break and see if I can actually meet those needs.”
Andie’s temper flared and the words were out before she knew what she was saying. “Maybe you could meet some of those needs if you were around more! It’s not a question of needing a separation, Casey! We’re already separated! That’s the problem, don’t you see that?”
“It’s just too hard, balancing what you want and what the Union wants,” Casey muttered.
That was exactly what Andie didn’t want to hear. What did the Union want? Did they want Casey to work with the Brotherhood? Or was Casey just voicing the normal frustration of the job versus family balancing act? She tried to make her voice carefully neutral.
“What does the Union want, Casey?”
“My life, I guess. They want to come first before everything,” he said dejectedly. The answer hardly reassured her.
“Laeren put the Resistance first before everything, Casey. He died and left me and Tiran alone. Is that what you want?” Andie asked in a low voice.
“Don’t you understand, Andie? I am doing all of this to make sure that you and Tiran are safe! I have to put the Union first; it’s the only way to bring peace back to Corizen.”
“Helping the Brotherhood will not bring peace back to Corizen, Casey!” Andie blurted out.
Casey froze. “Is that what you think I’m doing? Helping the Brotherhood? You honestly think that I would help Othar Eshude? A man who would kill my own wife and child if he knew who they really were? What kind of monster do you think I am?”
“I didn’t mean that, Casey, it just came out wrong,” Andie apologized hastily, but she knew at once it was too late. Casey’s mouth was rigid and his eyes were shuttered. The wall had been thrown up and Casey turned away from her and went back to packing his flight bag.
“Fine. We can talk about our options when you get back,” she offered softly. “Just remember while you are gone that I love you and I want things to work.” Then she turned and left him alone in the room.
6. Waiting
The next few months passed slowly. Andie hardly noticed the spring days lengthen into summer. Normally summer was her favorite time of year. It was so nice to have long days and the warm breezes at night. Instead she spent much of the summer restlessly awaiting Casey’s return and worrying over what she could do to save her marriage. Her relationship with Tiran did not improve and she finally resolved to just let Tiran alone for awhile. Instead she encouraged Tiran’s close relationship with Kendra hoping that Kendra might be a good influence.
The presidential election took place at the beginning of the summer and to Andie’s relief there was no great spurt of violence. There were a couple of shootings and a fire, but no big onslaught from the Brotherhood like some people had feared. Rual Gulann was elected President by a considerable majority. Gulann had spent most of his campaign promising to stamp out the terrorist attacks of the Brotherhood. His opponent had chosen the route of promising conciliation with the Brotherhood, recognizing that many people wondered if the reports about the Oman being a prophet might be true. Apparently the majority had decided that a prophet wouldn’t spend his time killing innocent people.
Andie wondered about the religious aura that Othar Eshude had managed to create about himself. There were whispers all over the place that he was inspired, perhaps able to predict the future. She had never learned much about the common Denicorizen religion. Randa and Laeren had never been religious. (Well, Laeren had been devout in the cause of democratic government on Corizen. That had been his religion, without doubt.) Just in general she knew that pious Denicorizens believed in one all-powerful god named Veshti who had led them to Corizen, away from the corruption on Terra. This god occasionally sent prophets to call the people of Corizen back to the true path. As for Othar Eshude, she was positive he was no spokesman for any god, whatever he was doing. Andie had not been raised in a religious home herself, but she was sure that if there was a god who oversaw everything, he would never ask people to swear blood feuds. The thought made her sick.
As for Rual Gulann, she was interested to see how he would go about “stamping out” the terrorism. She wasn’t sure what new pressure the man thought he could bring to bear on the Brotherhood. Personally, she didn’t like him much. He was boldly overconfident and occasionally reckless. He also had a rather overinflated ego which she supposed would only increase while he was President. Or perhaps he would quickly learn he wasn’t the talented statesman that he thought he was. It might do him some good to learn a little humility.
The weeks passed slowly with only an occasional comm from Casey letting her know he was doing fine. He didn’t tell her much, but at least he wasn’t too angry to write and for that she was grateful. Maybe they would be able to work things out after all. Andie filled her lonely summer days with mundane household tasks and watched the news obsessively. Occasionally she met with Jerrapo, and though Jerrapo had done some “poking” she hadn’t learned anything to tie the Armada to the Brotherhood.
“I do not know where else to look,” she confessed to Andie at one of their lunches. “It really seems as if the Brotherhood must have come up with that weapon on their own, unlikely though it may be. I simply cannot find any hint of anything else.”
Andie had to agree with her. She remembered Casey’s icy response to her accusation just before he left, and she knew that she had been completely unreasonable. She knew Casey so well, had known him since they were children, and she knew she could trust her husband. He would never risk the life of his family, no matter what the Union asked him to do.
Near the end of summer their invitations to the Inaugural Ball arrived. It included everyone in the family plus one guest each. In spite of herself, Andie felt her spirits rise. The last Inaugural Ball had been six years ago, and though Andie wasn’t a huge fan of the formal dances required at such a ball, it was still a chance to get out of the Complex for a little while. Casey shouldn’t object—the security at the Ball would rival that at the Complex. Besides, he would certainly have to attend, meaning he would be home soon. It would be deeply offensive if the Ambassador chose not to attend the inauguration ceremonies for a new president.
That night she asked Tiran and Kendra if they would like to attend the Inaugural Ball. Both girls squealed with delight. Kendra literally bounced in her chair, shooting questions at her one right after another about when it was, what they would wear, and if she would get to use the dances she had learned in a recent class. Tiran said nothing, but her eyes glowed brightly and she smiled widely all evening. Andie was pleased to see Tiran so excited; it raised her own spirits even more.
By two weeks before the ball, the excitement in the Morten home was palpable. The girls had chosen dresses from a Citizen trader who catered to the Complex, and the dresses had just been returned from the local tailor who had done the alterations. Andie booked appointments with the hair stylist, and the girls spent their free time practicing the dances with each other in the living room. Best of all, Andie received word from Casey that he would be coming home in two days.
Andie was waiting for him when he walked in the front door. She had been sitting in the living room for the last hour watching the front walk through the window. He had come trudging up the sidewalk at last, looking more tired than she had ever seen him.
Casey opened the door and stepped into the entry hall. Then he stopped as he saw Andie across the room. For a moment they stood there just looking at each o
ther. Andie was suddenly afraid. What if he still felt they should get divorced? What if he rejected her? He dropped his eyes to the floor, and she finally pried herself from her chair and walked to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She relaxed into him, feeling so close to Casey. When was the last time they had been this close?
The moment abruptly ended when Tiran came flying down the stairs. “Dad!” she cried, and Casey put an arm around Tiran. Kendra poked her head out of the kitchen where she had been making dinner. “We’ve got dinner all ready for you, Uncle Casey!”
“It smells wonderful.” Casey sniffed appreciatively. He let go of Andie and Tiran and followed them into the kitchen. Andie moved to set the table and watched Tiran tell Casey all about her excitement for the Inaugural Ball. Casey listened for a moment and then shot a sharp look at Andie. She winced. She hadn’t told him that she had given the girls permission to go.
“You mean you are coming to the ball?” he finally asked.
“Of course! Kendra and I can hardly wait! We’ve never been to something so fancy, ever!”
Casey looked at Andie. “Since when are kids invited to the Inaugural Ball?”
“Kids!” spluttered Tiran. Kendra looked crestfallen.
“They aren’t ‘kids,’ Casey, they are young women now. The invitation includes the whole family, and I felt they were old enough to attend,” Andie defended quietly. “It may be just another political formality to you, but to them it’s a party, a chance to have some excitement in their lives.” Casey’s face was grim, but he didn’t say anything more. The stifled mood continued until they were all seated at the table to eat. Finally the tension eased and Casey chatted lightly with the girls about his trip to the Assembly Station. However, Andie knew it wasn’t over yet. She was sure Casey was still going to put up a fight.
It started as soon as they were alone in their room for the night.
“I can’t believe you told the girls they could go to the ball without even consulting me,” complained Casey as he undressed. Andie had already slipped into bed.
Corizen Rising Page 6
