A Summer To Remember: Novella (Lost Love Book 1)

by Richards, C. L.

  “So, what do you think about me bringing Xavier to the scan?” I ask in an unsure voice. Nikki looks at me stunned, her eyebrows draw down into a frown. Disappointment evident in her features. Shit, I didn't think of the possibility of Nikki wanting to attend with me. “If that's what you want, then go for it,” she replies in an uneven tone. With a troubled expression, I apologize for not thinking of her. Nikki doesn't look happy but relents. “If it's what you truly want then go for it but just remember he isn't here for long. I'm worried you're getting too attached.” I dismiss her unnecessary worry. I'm simply bringing him for moral support.

  Kyle offers to take us which I greatly except. I'm surprised Kyle is willing to support me. He could've been disappointed like my parents. But I've got to fair after the initial shock he's been looking out for me. Kyle demands he's coming along whether it's only to sit in the waiting room. The three of us climb into Kyles ford, I feel honored to have a great brother. Kyle takes his eye off the road for a second, gracing me with a look of reassurance. “Calm down Izzy,” before turning back to the road.

  My hands won't stop shaking, my nerves are fried to the point I think I'm going to chuck up. “I gotta pee,” I shriek through the silent car, Xavier and Kyle, burst with laughter. “Thank you for enlightening us,” Kyle mutters. Knowing I'm not permitted to go until after the procedure. “It’s not freaking funny,” I retort. Which only causes them to laugh even more. Shaking my head, annoyed with their teasing.

  As soon as the car pulls to a stop, I push the door open and stalk in the direction of the main entrance. Leaving the boys to follow. I hear footsteps beating on the asphalt behind me. “You ready for this, Isabelle?” Xavier questions. I don't offer him a response, frightened my feelings will run free. Showing my weakness. I plow through the main doors and wait to be booked in.

  I make an undignified screech when the sonographer places the cool gel onto my stomach. The room is silent as the sonographer goes about her work. Suddenly the sound of a heartbeat fills the room, Xavier stands from his seat and grasps my hand. I investigate his eyes to see they have clouded over. The sonographer gains my attention, by asking “if I would like to know the sex?”

  “Yes please,” I wheeze. She smiles before turning the screen to face us. The sonographer spends a few moments moving the probe around my abdomen. She then proceeds to point at the screen, announcing I’m expecting a little girl. Gasping, there's no word to depict what's going through my mind.

  My tears run freely, I smile at Xavier, but his eyes are frozen on the screen. The sonographer looks towards Xavier and asks 'if dad would like a photographer.' His eyes turn in my direction, tears stream down his face.

  I'm crushed, destroyed. Josh, I can't tell you how sorry I am.

  The sonographer looks at us wide-eyed with confusion. Attempting to get a hold of myself, I do my best to clarify the circumstances.

  Xavier steps back from the bed, without saying a word, his tears still running freely. The sonographer couldn't apologize enough. I clarified it was alright and she wasn't to know. I messed up and should've never agreed for Xavier to attend the scan. I just wanted some moral support, maybe it wasn't the right thing to do. Sighing, I thank the sonographer and exit the room. I've asked Xavier on many of occasions if he was alright, but all I received is static silence. I spot Kyle sat in the waiting room, looking confused as I approach. His gaze looks over me, I'm sure in search of Xavier. Who still hasn't left the scan room. Shaking my head, in hopes, he would leave his pending questions. Thankfully he takes the hint. Twenty minutes after I vacated the hospital, Xavier nowhere to be seen.

  I can see the looming questions on the tip of Kyle's tongue, but thankfully he doesn't voice them. Instead, he climbs out of the car and goes in search of Xavier. The car ride home is uncomfortably awkward, my mind's filled with unanswered questions. Is he having seconds thoughts about our relationship? Instead of focusing on the unknowns, my thoughts drift to Josh. Despite everything, I'm still pissed at him for not being open. And talking to me before forming a hasty decision. Devastated he won't get the chance to meet his child. My heart shatters for my unborn child. Inclining my head against the window, my eyes involuntarily close. Moments later, I float into a tranquil sleep. Securely holding the ultrasound photo in my grasp.

  I wake to the sound of my cell beeping, I rub my eyes in an attempt to gain my bearings. I swear I nodded off in the car yet somehow I wake in my room. I come to the realization Kyle must’ve carried me to my room. Scanning the room for my beeping phone, I locate it on the nightstand. A message icon is flashing, indicating I have a text from Nikki.

  Nikki: How did the scan go? Is everything alright with the baby? Ooh, what are you having?

  Telling Kyle he was going to have a niece slipped my mind. He must think I'm a bitch. Before responding to Nikki, I decide Kyle should know first.

  I'm not surprised to discover the guys surrounding the television, playing the Xbox. Do I just come out and announce it in front of everyone or take Kyle aside? It's not as though Xavier doesn't already know.

  Choosing the best alternative is to just come out with it, I clear my throat to gain their attention. Everyone's eyes swing to face me, James trolls in my direction, asking 'if I'm alright?' He pulls me into an embrace, setting a kiss on my cheek. He steps back when a snarling sound radiates from the other side of the room. James isn't affected by Xavier's attitude instead, he winks before sitting back down. Xavier glares, clearly jealous but I'm not in the mood for his bullshit. He's had a stick up his ass since we left the sonographers room.

  With a sad smile, Kyle indicates towards Xavier, in a gesture to figure out what's going on. With no answers myself, I shrug. Kyle looks as though he wants, to say more, luckily he takes the hint and stays quiet.

  The door bursts open revealing Nikki, “bitch, I text you,” she yells. Oblivious to the tension inside the room. Before I can get a word out she relays her message. With a sigh, I answer the unanswered questions.

  “Everything is fine” Nikki impatiently taps her foot, “Well, don't leave me hanging. What are you having?” I delve the information she’s been waiting for.

  “I’m having a girl.” Nikki screeches while, Kyle, Caleb and James congratulate me. Why is Xavier treating me like this? I turn my misted eyes towards his only to discover he's already watching me. Xavier stands from his seated position and steps towards me. He leans down until his mouth is in line with my ear. With his deep, masculine voice he whispers, “congrats Isabelle.” Then he pushes himself away and exits the room.

  I’ve come to the conclusion Xavier's upset because he was referred to him as the father. But why is he ignoring me? Somebody clearing their throat gains my attention. I turn to discover Xavier, I thought he retired to his room.

  Xavier shows with his eyes to follow him, I gradually climb the stairs behind him. He pushes them to his room open and waits for me to enter. His apologizes furiously, begging for forgiveness. His hands descended to my waist pulling me closer to him. Dropping his head into the crook of my neck, “I’m sorry Isabelle. I can’t explain why I was an asshole. When the sonographer referred to me as the dad. Something inside me broke.” The feeling of wetness against my skin eludes me think Xavier is crying. I'm confused, why is he so upset, it was an honest mistake. The baby isn’t going to affect him in any way he will be gone by the time she's born. The relationship between Xavier and myself was only intended for the summer. Some fun as Nikki put it, but, why does it feel like a great deal more?

  “You okay?” I whisper. Xavier's eyes meet mine, shrugging he answers. "I can’t bare the thought of leaving you, Isabelle.” I feel the same, but I would never ask him to stay, he has a family to think about. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting him to see my unshed tears, “how about we make the most of these two weeks.” Xavier flashes me a weak smile.

  ~#~

  The week flies by, I've spent a lot of time with Xavier and significantly feel closer to him. The words I love you are on
the tip of my tongue, my heart willing me to tell him how I feel but I’m scared. What if he doesn't feel the same way?

  A lot has changed over the course of the week, Xavier went behind by back and told Nikki, my parents won't support me. Being the good friend that she is, Nikki asks me to move into the apartment with her. I was furious with Xavier. Livid even yet Nikki and Xavier wore down my defenses. Proclaiming they're just watching out me. I can see their perspectives, yet, is moving out going to bring about more issues with my parents. I haven’t spoken to either mom or dad since I told them I was expecting. It hurts knowing your parents aren't there to support you but however much it torments me. They're still my parents. It takes a few days trying to convince me before I reluctantly took Nikki up on her offer.

  Xavier's been amazing, whatever I've needed he's been beside me. I thought things were going to change after his initial breakdown. If anything, we're closer. Right at this minute I’m not sure what's going to happen in the future but, I will never forget Xavier. I know I’ve had more ups than downs, but he has been my rock. Taking everything I thrown at him on the chin.

  Today, Xavier and I are going shopping for the baby's cribs. We enter a small baby boutique called Posh Tots. I’m overwhelmed by the amount of different equipment, needed for a newborn. Xavier leads me through the store, my eyes widened when I spot a gorgeous circular crib, that’s the one. It's perfect. My heart drops when I spot the price tag. It's way too expensive, sighing I internally debated whether I can afford it. My baby deserves the best right. Deciding it's not realistic, I turn away from the crib and eye the more affordable options. “Isabelle, where are you going?” Xavier asks, I ignore his question. “I know you wanted this one, love. Your eyes lit up when you saw it. There’s no point looking around for another.” There’s no point in giving my hopes up when I can’t afford it. “Excuse me, mam.” What’s he doing? “Xavier I can't afford it.” He ignores my request and carries on conversing with the sales assistant. “We would like the circular crib please, miss,” Xavier asks in his panty dropping accent. Xavier as the type of voice which makes you weak at the knees and the sales assistant is no exception. I roll my eyes, not impressed. Clearing my throat to make my presence known. The sales assistant looks in my direction wide-eyed and mutters an apology. Before turning her attention back to Xavier. “Of course sir, when is the baby due?” I’m frozen to the spot, hoping the question doesn't upset Xavier. My legs feel like led, unwilling to move. Xavier answers with ease, knowing the exact amount of weeks I have left. I knew he was interested, but I hadn’t realized how much attention he’d taken. I regain my composure before Xavier notices my shocked expression. "Xavier, I said no, I can't afford it." I stated angrily.

  Why won’t he take notice of what I’m saying? The only response I get is a wink. A fucking wink. I’m pretty sure there’s steam coming out of my ears. “Is there anything else you want Isabelle?” I shake my head, not wanting him to spend any more money on the baby or me. With a sigh, his resolve disappears, “Okay,” he states grimly. Seeing Xavier defeated, plays havoc with my emotions, my anger dissipates replaced with guilt. I apologize for my abrupt behavior, which Xavier readily accepts. “I’m hungry.” he grunts and everything else is forgotten. Xavier scans the small shopping mall, then strolls in the direction of a quaint bistro. We step through the door and are instantly greeted, “good afternoon sir, madame.”

  “Good afternoon, may we have a table for two?” Xavier queried.

  “Certainly sir. Follow me,” the waiter instructed. With my hand encased in Xavier's, we trail behind the server. I scan my surroundings, trying to get a feel for the place. The interior is different to what I'd imagined a quaint bistro to be like. The walls are cream-colored with purple spotlights in the floor, giving a romantic feel. The room has a sense of tranquility, with an instant calming effect. “Your table sir, I’ll give you a few minutes to settle.” The waiter wanders off to take care of his other customers. “How are you coping with the move?"

  “I’m actually okay with it.” I don’t want to let slip I haven’t mentioned moving out to my parents, I keep putting the conversation off. Scared what their reaction will be. I'm nineteen, it's not like they have the legal power to make me stay.

  The waiter returns and hands us the menu while inquiring if we would like a drink. After ordering our drinks of choice. The waiter offers us a few more moments while he goes and fulfills the order. Scrutinizing the menu, unable to make a decision of what I fancy. In no time at all the waiter is placing our drinks on the table. “Are you ready to order sir?” he asks Xavier.

  “Can I have the beef stew, what would you like, babe?” Xavier inquires, I take a few more moments scanning the menu before I answer,

  “Pie and mash please.” The server nods, while writing in his notepad.

  “The food will be with you shortly.” Both of us offer a thank you as the server walks away. The rest of the meal flows with light conversation. Both of us avoiding all talk regarding Xavier's pending departure.

  Xavier has become the light at the end of my tunnel. The reason to let Josh go and move on with my future, hopefully with Xavier being a permanent fixture. When we've finished eating, Xavier insists on paying the bill before we exit the bistro and head home.

  “Nikki,” I call through the silent house, receiving no reply, I guess we’re alone once more. Xavier strolls past me, his hands loaded with the unbuilt crib and heads towards my new room. Xavier seems to be a dabbed hand at flat packs. It takes him no longer than forty minutes to have the crib built and placed in the corner of the room. “You okay Isabelle, don’t you like the crib?” Xavier questions with a concerned expression.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Just a bit disappointed I never picked up any bedding.” Just as the words left my mouth, the door bangs open. Nikki strolls into the bedroom, smirking and holding out a bag. Curiosity gets the best of me, I take the bag from her proffered hand and have a sneak peak. My mouth pulls into a smile, “how did you know?” The bedding I’d been lusting over only twenty-four hours previous is sat within the bag. “You left the baby catalog open on the table plus I know what you like.”

  “Thank you, thank you. thank you,” Nikki wink's, “it’s not me you need to thank.” Confused, I stare at her expectantly waiting for her to elaborate. Of course, she doesn’t instead gives a subtle nod. I turn and fix my gaze on Xavier who's currently lounging on the bed. Realization dawns on me.

  “Stop looking at me, like you're ready to devour me.” Xavier chides. My brain is telling me to pounce on him, but my heart has reservations. Unsure whether to hand the final piece over to him. Xavier sits forward, shuffling until he’s sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out he pulls me onto his lap. My knees are either side of his thighs. “Okay, that’s my cue to leave.” Nikki states as the door shuts behind her. “Stop thinking so hard.” Xavier whispers against the contours of my lips.

  Xavier doesn’t advance in his movement instead waits for permission. with a small smile, I deepen the kiss. His tongue runs along the outline of my lips trying to gain access, which I immediately grant. My hips have a mind of their own, grinding against his hardness. Causing my heart rate to speed up, and my breathing to quicken. Xavier groans underneath me, he adjusts me into a more comfortable position. His mouth never leaving mine. Xavier’s hand slips beneath my top, his fingers trace circles just below my bra. My eyes close, enjoying the sensation, he cups my breast over my bra. I’m practically writhing on top of him, needing him to give me more. I throw my head back, hoping it will clue him I want more. I want to go the next step.

  Amazingly he takes the hint. His hand slips into my jeans and moves down until his fingers are inside my panties. A frustrated groan escapes, he inches away from where I need to be touched. “So impatient,” he teases, moments later I’m moaning in pleasure. “You look fucking beautiful when you're all flustered.” His lips meet mine once again, I try and deepen the kiss while moving my hand to his throbbing cock. But before my
hand actually touches him, he grabs it and pushes it away, “tonight was about you.” I sigh in disappointment, “in time baby,” he whispers. But that’s the thing times running out.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Isabelle

  Well, the day has finally arrived, in less than four hours Xavier will be boarding the plane back to America. I've been tossing and turning for hours, scared of what the future holds, will I ever see Xavier again? Or will my heart suffer once more? “Relax babe, what will be, will be?” Xavier huskily whispers. If it was that easy, I would be sleeping but, unfortunately, it isn’t. Over the past six weeks, I’ve fallen head over heals for Xavier. Yet, without taking notice of the implications. He has promised over and over everything will be alright but only If I could share the same optimism. “Everything is going to be fine, please get some sleep.” Xavier whispered before closing his eyes. I stare at the ceiling, trying to push my worries aside. I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow like the day isn’t going to hard enough already. It feels like I’ve been staring at the same spot for hours before my eyes start to feel heavy. Not long after I drift to sleep.

  “Wake up sleepy head.” Xavier nudges me, "I want to spend some time with you before I leave." I rub my eyes before slowly opening them, “what time is it?” I ask in a grim tone. “Nine o’clock.” Xavier replies. That leaves two hours until I watch the love of my life, disappears. Deep down we both know long distance relationships never work. I can already envision what’s likely to happen. Xavier will meet somebody else, and I will dwindle from his mind. With a sigh, I stumble out of bed. I've been sat in the bathroom for the last fifteen minutes, trying to get myself together. Which is proving to be a difficult task but I made a promise to myself not to let my emotions show. Grabbing holding off the sink, I pull myself into a standing position. With a steady breath, I open the door and make my way across the hall.