Wishing to put their quarrel quickly behind them, Sinclair rose, too, and held out his arm. “I would be happy to escort you.”
“I do not think that a good idea.”
He’d blundered badly if she refused him this small boon. “The tiles in the entrance hall have been known to be slick. Take my arm, and if anyone questions us, that is our answer.”
Reluctantly, she slipped her arm about his. “You are singling me out.”
“Light attracts light.” He settled his hand on top of hers for a few steps then dropped his hand again. “I told you I wanted to know you again. Your scent, your taste…and more than anything else to drink in the sound of your voice again. I want no secrets between us. I want to know what happened.”
“You ask for everything,” she whispered.
“Indeed, just as I will give my all to you. Ah, here comes Lord Norris to dance with you.” He passed Kitty to the fellow and bowed. “Thank you for allowing me to assist you, Lady Forbes. Until later.”
Chapter 13
Kitty sighed deeply as Sinclair stepped into the drawing room of Lady Darrow’s home around four in the morning. For the last hour, ever since they’d parted company after their short dance, she’d held an undeniable fear that he would not answer her summons. They had barely spoken after their conversation in the card room.
The door shut quietly behind him, and he stood there, looking at her with a determined expression.
She held both hands out to him, and he strode across the room and pulled her close until she was plastered against his chest. “I feared I had ruined everything tonight,” he admitted, and then lowered his head to steal a kiss.
They had not kissed since they’d been lovers years ago…and yet it felt entirely the same.
Exciting, despite their older age and separation.
She clung to Sinclair, allowing him to direct the passion of their first kiss.
She was not disappointed in him. She never had been.
He seemed very eager as always. His tongue slipped past her lips to tangle with hers in a delicate dance that thrilled every part of her. A shiver raced through her entire body, lighting up long-dormant desires.
Sinclair drew back a little, and his warm hands cupped her face. “I always adored kissing you.”
She smiled. “Charmer.”
“No, no. I once thought I could spend a year worshiping your lips, and I still mean to someday. Remember how we spent the first night together just kissing each other in the stables? Touching. You taste of summer and sin. I never could get enough of kissing you then.”
She broke away from him. “You asked a question and demanded answers.”
“We do not have to talk about the past tonight.”
“No, I think it’s best to speak first before this goes any further.”
He looked around the room. “All right. Perhaps can we sit together while we talk?”
Kitty nodded and settled in an armchair. She needed the safety of a little distance in order to revisit her past. “You asked why I married Forbes.”
“Yes.”
“I married him because he asked when you never had. You never once suggested any future for us beyond our affair.”
Sinclair appeared genuinely shocked. “I thought you understood and were happy with our arrangement.”
“What I understood was that I was your secret mistress, sneaking into your bedchamber or meeting you in the woods. You gave me a few trinkets along with your affections, and when you were away, I had nothing.” She swallowed. “Forbes was kind and decent and offered for me after a short acquaintance. There was no great love affair between us. He did not court me overlong before I decided to be his wife. He offered me a home, permanence, and his name. Let us face facts…there was not a day in our two-year affair when I did not risk my reputation to see you. He gave me my respectability back.”
“Did he know about you and me?”
“He knew I was not an innocent before we married. I told him, and he said he felt sorry for me. He did not withdraw his proposal, and we were married as quickly as possible after that.”
“So you went away because I did not propose to you fast enough?”
“Two years, Sinclair. I was your lover for two years with the expectation that would continue. I was a fool.”
“No, I was.” Sinclair hung his head, and then shook it. “There was a good reason I did not ask.”
Kitty forced her hands to relax and her heart to slow to its steady pace again. She was ready to hear him condemn her for her humble origins, like his sister had done before him. How much worse could it be? “I am all ears to hear it.”
“We were young and from entirely different stations in life. I loved you. No question about that. But the estate is its own little world. Private, intimate. Our world. I knew I wanted you, but I also knew you had not been brought up the way my sister and I had been. There were obvious deficiencies in your education that might have caused problems later.”
Tears stung her eyes. “You were ashamed of me.”
“I was ashamed of me. I should have sent you away, but I was selfish, and I wanted to keep you there,” he promised, quickly grabbing her hand. “I was in awe of you. When you were a little girl, you had run about the estate barefoot, tickling fish from the stream for your mother to cook. And then you changed almost overnight, grew up so beautiful and sweet, and I wanted so much to love, protect, and help you become more.
“I intended to marry you then, but I knew it would not be easy or without challenges. I was supposed to marry a lady of good family and fortune. You had nothing—only love bound us together. But I refused to consider anyone else. I engineered excuses to have you stay with Susanna as her companion so you could learn the skills you would need to become my duchess without forcing deportment lessons on you. Society can be brutal to anyone who fails to live up to their expectations. I beg your forgiveness for not explaining that properly. I was afraid you would be offended.”
Kitty was silent, well aware that his concerns had been valid and right once. She had not known much about how to act as a lady, let alone a future duchess. All Kitty had known was loving him beyond reason. She would have done anything for him, but he’d never explained or asked.
Kitty may never have left Sinclair if not for Susanna discovering her stumbling from his bedchamber still in a state of disarray early one morning. She should have had more faith in him and in his love. But what was done was done. The past could not be changed. She squeezed his hand firmly. “You were right that I needed help once.”
Sinclair brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a long kiss to her fingers. “Can you forgive me for not offering for you then when I should have?” he whispered without looking up.
Kitty leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. “I should have waited for you.”
He rose to claim a real kiss immediately. There was so much tenderness in it, Kitty’s eyes filled with tears. His arms crept around her body, and she leaned into him. “If I am to be your lover again, we need to be discreet. I have my family, and particularly a niece, to consider now.”
He did not look happy about the reminder. “What else do you demand of me?”
“Your discretion. You are not to tell a single person we are lovers. No one can ever know.”
“It will be hard to hide our relationship when we attend the theater together. I do not intend to scrimp or want to hide tokens of my affection anymore.”
She held up her hand. “I will not agree to any public outings as your mistress.”
Sinclair leaned back and smiled. “I never intended to make you my mistress.”
She let out a relieved sigh. A short-term affair would undoubtedly be best between them, since she would return home to Ireland in a few weeks to a month. “There is an undeniable attraction between us still. We were close once, and that familiarity draws us together again. However, that is private. No one else needs to know about us. Swear to me you will tell no one
about us. Not ever.”
“You have given us a great deal of thought, haven’t you?”
She shivered at his tone. “I am atrociously attracted to you, and I want us to be able to stand in the same room without discomfort. I want not to tremble until the moment you touch me.”
Sinclair drew close. “That is a discomfort I too share. I am still bloody aroused the minute I see you.”
He kissed her hard, his hands sweeping boldly over her body where she sat. He leaned her back into the well-cushioned chair, and she discovered his erection as it pressed hard against her knees.
She broke the kiss and grasped him by the shoulder. “Swear to me.”
It was not what he wanted. She could tell by the stubborn set of his jaw. She waited, uncertain what she might do if he refused to give her the promise she needed before she took him to her bed.
His hand rose to brush across her cheek. “I swear.”
Kitty exhaled slowly and stole a kiss from him. She was much too old for making love in chairs, though they had done that once or twice before. She pushed him back and stood on trembling limbs. “Come to bed.”
“Gladly.” He clasped her fingers tightly and got to his feet.
Silently, Kitty led Sinclair from the room, through the silent house, up the staircase, and along the hall to her bedchamber. Willa had gone on to another party and had promised not to return until the day was over. Sinclair said nothing as he removed his coat and threw it aside as soon as the door swung closed.
Everything was ready for them. A bottle of sweet chilled wine sat on a side table with two goblets. A platter of sweetmeats and other foods easily eaten with the fingers in case either one of them required sustenance. Only a few candles had been lit, just enough to illuminate the room and add an intimate, romantic feel to Kitty’s chambers.
Sinclair came up behind her, and he kissed her neck. “I missed you.”
“We were only apart an hour tonight.”
“All our lives. I have missed you all my life.”
Kitty closed her eyes and sighed. All of her fears had vanished when he’d arrived, but after their talk, other anxieties had surfaced to plague her. Would Sinclair notice that her hips were wider, her breasts no longer as firm as they’d once been? He had seemed almost unchanged to her eyes. She hoped he was not disappointed by the end of the night in her bed.
His hunger was not in doubt, he was still as eager to touch and kiss. Kitty sighed as his lips nibbled her neck, and he slid his hands around her rib cage and up to cup her breasts. A rumble of appreciation spilled from his throat as he teased her nipples into hard peaks beneath her thin gown.
She reached back to hold him close while he tormented her body. Sinclair was quite tall when they were standing close together, but in bed, or in a field, she had hardly ever noticed those differences.
She stepped away from him and lifted her hands to unbind her hair. Her maid had plaited and coiled it simply earlier, and unbound, it would fall to her bottom. Sinclair drew the plait forward over her shoulder, his eyes soft and loving. He tickled her nose with the tip, and she laughed because he’d always done that before when she’d undressed for him.
She rose up on her toes and set her fingers to untie his cravat. “I remember this knot so fondly,” she said as she removed the ruby pin and set it aside.
“Do you?” He waggled his brows. “What else do you remember about me?”
She crooked her finger, and he leaned down so she could whisper in his ear. “You inside me. I never forgot that.”
Sinclair grasped hold of her hips before she finished speaking and he tossed her up on the mattress in a surprising display of strength. “Temptress. I am glad you remember that, because I certainly do, too.”
He stripped, and Kitty lay back on the bed, one hand supporting her head, as she looked her fill of him. He was bigger, broader across the chest than he’d once been. His stomach was still flat, but the body hair trailing down to his navel from his chest was thicker and darker than she recalled. For a very brief moment, she made the comparison to her late husband’s greater girth—and then forgot anything else when he removed his breeches.
His cock was precisely as she remembered. Upstanding and slightly curved to the right. Big enough to make her feel his lovemaking the next morning when she woke up on her own again.
She pushed thoughts of tomorrow aside, wanting nothing to dampen her enjoyment of loving him again.
Sinclair left nothing on as he joined her, lying on his side at first. He grasped hold of her gown and pulled but did not raise it up far enough to expose more than her ankles. “Do I still please you?”
She laughed softly. “Of course you do. I just hope you are not disappointed in me.”
“Never.” He studied her face, and then his attention lowered. He set one finger on the upper swell of her breast and slid it across her skin. He looked up quickly. “I am on fire for you. I still want you with the same intensity as before. When I saw you tonight in your little red dress, I could hardly think.”
He lowered his head and rained light kisses on her shoulder. She shuddered, lifting her body for more of his kisses whenever he paused. Kitty knew he liked to watch her undress for him, slowly and provocatively had always been his demand. She had enjoyed the little games they’d played in bed and the anticipation of what they could do next. But now Kitty was more self-conscious.
She held his gaze as she found the first button on her gown and popped it free with trembling fingers. “I want you inside me so very badly.”
Sinclair groaned and his hand slipped down to her waist, and then lower still. “I have dreamed many a night about burying my face between your legs and hearing you cry out my name.”
Suddenly he was gone from her side, diving under her skirts without any warning.
She had a moment to prepare, and then his mouth was on her sex to kiss her there, and he parted her folds gently with his fingers, and then his tongue.
Kitty whimpered, clutching at the bedding as he made love to her with an intensity she was not entirely prepared for. He was ravenous for her taste, and he left her in no doubt she was meant to climax as soon as possible.
Her gown rose steadily higher, until it was at her waist, Sinclair’s hands spread over her body. Kitty lowered her hands and threaded her fingers through his pale hair, reminded of all the times she had done so before. She’d loved the attention he’d lavished on her body. He’d never settled for anything less but her undivided and uninhibited involvement in their trysts.
She released his head and lifted hers to watch him taste her with unabashed enthusiasm. Not in all the years of her marriage had she been made love to so purposefully. Her marriage had not provided half the satisfaction in return that her two-year affair with Sinclair had given her.
Sinclair turned her, half on her side, and then his fingers slipped into her body as he continued to lap at her sex. Kitty curled up with a gasp as new sensations burst through her entire being. He looked up at her, and Kitty moaned. It had been so long since she’d felt so much pleasure at once that she had to hold back her scream when she could not stop her sudden climax.
Sinclair never relented until she collapsed, and then he was beside her again, a smug smile playing on his lips. “Now, you can relax.”
She looked down at his erection, still as hard as before and utterly tempting. “You should be relaxed, too.”
As a young woman, she had at first been hesitant to take the initiative, but as a mature woman, she found she was not at all. She got to her knees and moved down the bed. She brushed her lips across Sinclair’s belly then moved her head so his cock rested against her cheek. She turned her head, her lips brushing his skin, and then sighed.
Sinclair moaned. “I always loved it when you did that to me.”
She put her lips on his shaft and kissed him softly over and over. She peppered kisses around and along his cock, ignoring his pleas for more or mercy. When she reached the head, she discovered
her reward. A healthy amount of seed coated the head of his cock now, and she flicked out her tongue to taste him once more.
The first thing they had ever done as lovers was pleasure each other. It seemed appropriate to repeat that pattern tonight in this new beginning for them.
She let her breath strike his cock head a second time, and then took him into her mouth in one swallow. She took him as deep as she could then wrapped her hand around the base of his cock to hold him steady. She moved her hand up and down his length, squeezing as she moved her mouth on him, too. Sinclair encouraged her with every breath and groan, no matter what she did to him. She changed her grip on his shaft so she could flick her fingers out to touch his balls.
Sinclair grabbed her head, pulling her off his cock. “I am close already,” he warned.
She grinned. “Good. You need to relax as much as I have.”
She took him into her mouth again and stroked his cock and balls until he suddenly flexed his hips up, driving his cock deep into her mouth. Sinclair let out a heavy grunt as his seed hit the back of her throat. She liked that he made no attempt to continue thrusting into her mouth after finding his satisfaction still. He’d always been an easy lover to please and aware of what he was doing.
She felt a tug on her gown and realized he was trying to draw her up to rest against him. She gave his cock one last kiss, one more flick of her tongue, and then rose to settle in his arms. His hand slid down her back and onto her derriere. When he kneaded her bottom, her pussy quivered with surprising enthusiasm for more lovemaking.
“I was sure I knew how much I missed you, but I was so wrong,” he whispered against her hair. “I love you, Kitty,” he swore.
Kitty closed her eyes. Sinclair had always claimed to love her during intimacy, so she did not remark upon his words. “Hold me tighter in your arms.”
He did and kissed the top of her head. “I meant what I said.”
The Duke's Heart Page 14
