“Maybe it would have been different, maybe not,” Alannah murmurs wistfully.
I slide out of the booth and go and stand by Alannah, I know she won’t mean to say anything but I have that one per cent that thinks she won’t be able to help herself.
Kristen stares up at me, she offers a small smile and looks back at Alannah.
“I can show you where he’s buried if you like, maybe you can find some form of closure?”
“I would like that, it doesn’t seem real that he’s gone.”
How the hell does Cas deal with her? At every point since Kristen showed up, she has been like an open book over Billy. One slip is all it’s going to take and if Kristen gets one sniff of suspicion, then there are going to be questions asked none of us want to answer.
Kristen
I wasn’t surprised to see Alannah and the biker guy walk into the diner. I was more surprised I hadn’t seen them in the last couple of days as this town is so small. I kept my eyes on Zachery and pretended not to notice them walking past us. I had dialled the number Cas gave me over a hundred times in the last couple of days but each time I deleted it. Now I’ve had time to digest the news of Billy’s death, I have questions only they can answer. I want to know why Billy wanted to join their club. After I checked into the town’s motel I had googled biker clubs and watched clips on YouTube and quite frankly I couldn’t understand why Billy would want to be a part of it. I wanted to know what his last days were like. Above everything else I wanted to know that he didn’t turn into an outlaw criminal. When I first met Billy I knew he got into trouble but from what he told me about his life and from what I saw spending time with him, he was never into anything too serious.
I figured I could talk to Alannah before I leave town and move on. From our brief meet I knew I would be able to ask her my questions. The guys not so much.
So when she ended up sitting at my table I knew she wanted to speak to me just as much as I her.
I was half relieved when the guy remained at his booth. The other half wanted to hear his deep and throaty voice again. When he declined breakfast the sound of his voice got my attention.
I couldn’t help but stare at him. He wore a leather cut not vest as I originally thought it was called, as I learned from google. The rest of him was dressed in a long sleeved tee and black jeans. There was no denying he was hot and then I stop myself. I don’t have the time for any thoughts like that and certainly not with that kind of guy.
When she offered to take me to his grave I couldn’t pass it up, maybe if I see where he is something might make sense.
Zachery and I followed in my car behind Alannah. My eyes kept flicking to Zachery in the reflection of the rear-view mirror. Maybe if I could get a better understanding of what happened then I’ll be able to explain to my son about his father when he grows up and begins asking questions.
By the time we arrived at the cemetery Zachery had fallen asleep in his car seat. I parked up behind their car and slowly got out when they did the same.
“Is his grave far?” I asked, looking back in at Zachery.
“No, it’s just over there,” she points out.
From here I can see where he is buried and looking around, no one is in sight.
Looking in at Zachery once more, I don’t know whether to wake him or leave it for today.
“Slade can wait here while you visit Billy,” Alannah offered, walking over.
So, Slade is his name.
Looking over at him, he didn’t look pleased at being offered as a babysitter.
“Look, you’ll only be going as far as there. Billy’s is the white headstone with the cans on top.”
Cans? Why would anyone place cans on someone’s resting place? It makes it look littered and unkempt.
The plot she was pointing at was only on the other side of her car. I decided to let Zachery sleep and took the keys out of the ignition and kept them with me.
Slade appeared and leant against the back of my car, crossing his arms over his chest.
I followed Alannah the short distance and crouched down to my knees.
Apart from the cans lined up across the top of the headstone, you could see it was looked after and expensive. In fact, the whole row looked identical but they didn’t have the cans.
“Can you tell me what happened please? Cas didn’t say much, only that he died in an accident?” I ask, keeping my eyes focused in front of me.
“There’s not much to say really. He was traveling back with some of the other brothers and their truck was run of the road. No one knows why. We lost five friends that night.”
She said there wasn’t much to tell but she had already said more than what Cas had.
“Do you mind if I ask you why you look so sad about his death when you only knew him such a short while?”
“Like I said at the diner, Billy was my friend. I was at college when he first become a prospect…”
I cut her off.
“What’s a prospect?”
She smiled and crouched beside me.
“Someone who wants to join the club, you saw the bikes at the clubhouse the other day right?”
I nodded I did and waited for her to carry on.
“Okay, Billy wanted to join the Lost Souls. To become a patched in member you first become a prospect. For around a year they prove themselves to show they are worthy alongside the brothers,” she explained.
“Prove themselves how?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.
“Their loyalty to the club. Listen, this is a story for another time. Billy meant a lot to me and he quickly became a good friend to me.”
A single tear fell down her cheek. She didn’t make a move to wipe it so I brushed my thumb against her cheek and wiped it for her.
No matter what I think of the bikers, this woman was kind and had a sadness wrapped around her.
“He was my friend too,” I murmured.
“Wasn’t he more than a friend?” she asked, raising her eyebrow at me.
I guessed she was referring to Zachery.
“No, we weren’t like that. He took off before I found out I was pregnant,” I told her.
“I really am sorry he’s not here for you and your son.”
“Why would you be sorry? It’s not like it’s your fault is it.”
The moment I felt her body flinch was the moment I knew she was definitely hiding something from me. I don’t know why or what it is but I now intend to find out.
I move on quickly pretending not to notice.
“Why the cans?”
Her little chuckle sounds so innocent.
“One time, I wanted to practice my shoot and aim and I got Billy to come with me. I think he thought because I am a girl I wouldn’t be any good. His male pride was very much dented that day when it turned out I had a better aim than him. It was funny. The cans here represent the happy times.”
“Was he happy?”
“He was, he found somewhere he could belong,” she replied.
“Alannah, we’ve got to go.”
I stood up and turned to see Slade moving around the cars and walking towards us. He looked suspiciously between us before getting in their car.
I don’t know what it was but something doesn’t add up around these people.
Making a rash decision, I blurt out, “I think I’m going to stay around for a while longer.”
Her face genuinely lit up with delight.
“That’ll be good.”
“Maybe we could meet up and you could tell me a bit more of Billy’s life here?”
“Definitely, I’ll see you soon.”
I watched her jump into the passenger side. Slade was saying something to her but from what I could see she wasn’t listening.
She waved as they passed and left.
Now I was on my own I crouched back down.
“I don’t know why you felt you had to join that club but I’m going to find out. See for myself what appealed to you
about it.”
Chapter Four
Slade
“You happy now you’ve seen her?” I ask, as we pull into the clubhouse.
“She’s gentle, I can see why Billy liked her,” she says, completely ignoring my question.
“Alannah, now you’ve seen her are you happy she’s okay?” I ask again.
Kristen didn’t look upset at the diner or at the graveside. I’m intrigued to find out why. Surely she would show more emotion finding out Billy was dead?
“I’m not happy Slade. Billy died because of me. Now her son doesn’t have a father and all because I threw the God damn gun down and didn’t shoot them. Now she’s staying I can make sure I make it up to them both.”
“She’s staying?”
“Yes, she wants to know more about Billy’s life here. It’s the least I can do for her.”
She doesn’t give me the chance to tell her how much of a bad idea this is as she opens her door and escapes to the clubhouse. I make my own way in after her but she is nowhere to be seen.
“Here, make sure Alannah gets these back.”
I toss her car keys at the prospect and head to the back room.
The reason we had to leave the cemetery was because Cas called to say we all were needed back.
By the looks of it I am last to arrive, I close the doors behind me and take my seat next to Sparky.
“You took ya time,” Oak grumbles from the other side of the table.
“I got here as quick as I could. It’s not my fault his old lady went on a guilt redeeming mission,” I reply, pointing to Cas.
His head snaps up and his face tells me he already knows what I’m going on about.
“I’ll talk to you after,” he tells me before carrying on, “Not long ago I got a call from Banksy.”
Banksy is the lawyer we go to when we need official help or one of us ends up in jail. He’s as straight laced as they come but when it comes to loopholes in the justice system he’s one of the best.
“Ricky’s been picked up on drug offences. Apparently he was pulled over and fifty wraps of brown were found in his saddle bag.”
“What the fuck? What’s he doin’ with heroin? We don’t touch that shit!” Oak fumes.
“I don’t know the exact details yet, I’m waitin’ on Banksy to call back. He said he’d call after Ricky’s been interrogated, until then your guess is as good as mine,” Cas finished.
“Ricky wouldn’t touch heroin, his sister overdosed on it. There’s no way he would be around the stuff,” Jack says, in his defence.
Jack patched in at the same time as Ricky. If anyone knew Ricky better, it was him.
“Regardless of what he would or wouldn’t touch, there’s no point in speculating. We’ll wait for Banksy to call and go from there,” Cas says.
“This isn’t goin’ to look good on the club. Whether it’s his heroin or not, we’re probably gonna have eyes on us now,” Sparky says, pointing out the obvious.
“I know,” Cas rumbled through gritted teeth, “Until we know what the fuck is goin’ on, no one carry anything you’re not licenced for.”
Cas slams the gavel on the table and everyone apart from Cas and I stand to leave.
“So, tell me what happened earlier?” he asks, lighting up a cigarette.
I told him about our trip into town to the diner and then the cemetery.
“How was Alannah around her?” he asks.
“She got a little teary at the graveside, apart from that she was okay. Alannah knows how this club works better than most of the members but when she’s around Kristen it’s like she forgets who she is,” I tell him.
His head falls back over his chair and he rubs his face in frustration.
“The last couple of nights she’s been waking up screaming from nightmares. She hasn’t had any for a long while but with Kristen showing up, it’s brought everything back up to the surface.”
“Kristen plans on staying so she can see what Billy’s life was like here. Alannah’s offered to meet up with her again,” I tell him with slight anticipation. This isn’t the news he wants to hear right now.
“Has she now? I’m startin’ to think we’re never goin’ to be able to move on from the shit Michael left for us,” he sighs heavily.
“We’ve had a quiet year brother, eventually she’ll move on and Alannah will too.”
“If it weren’t for her fuckin’ guilt it wouldn’t matter if Kristen stayed or not.”
“Do you need me to do anything?”
He sits there quiet for a moment before replying.
“Can you keep an eye on Kristen? It’s not like she’s unwelcome around here but I don’t want her gettin’ too close. In the meantime, I’ll talk to Lana again. I’ve got something that will take her mind off Billy for a while.”
I sat in the backroom long after Cas left. My sinking mood was slowly lifting the more I thought about it.
Keeping an eye on Kristen would involve spending time with her. I could find out exactly who she is.
I quickly leave the backroom and go in search for Sparky. Thankfully, he’s still here sitting at the bar with Oak and Pope.
“Hey brother, you remember when I helped find you that house your old lady loves so much and you said you owed me one?”
Sparky nods.
“I’m pullin’ it in. I need your old lady’s mad cookin’ skills.”
He looks confused but he pulls out his phone and makes sure she isn’t busy.
Cas
After talking with Slade I went in search for Lana. After a quick scan of the bar with no sign of her, I headed for the office. Now we have our own place she doesn’t go to my old room here. She’s never felt comfortable in there since she saw me with Danni.
When I open the door she is sitting at my desk and staring off into nothing. She’s thinking so intensely she doesn’t notice me. I haven’t seen her this pale and shaken for months. Every now and then she’ll go quiet and I know she’s remembering the night Hunter took her. After everything she has been through she has come so far. I’ll be fucked if I let this Kristen and her kid make her feel worse. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for the kid not having a father but what’s done is done. If I could change what happened and bring Billy back I would, but I can’t.
Apart from my brothers, Lana is my life and there isn’t anything I won’t protect her from. If I could protect her from her own internal pain I would.
“Hey babe, you waitin’ for me?” I ask, going round the desk.
I pull her up and take her place in the chair, pulling her back down on my lap.
“I came to see you earlier but I got distracted.”
She looks down avoiding my eyes.
“I heard,” I said, tucking her hair behind her ear. I don’t like it when I can’t see her face.
“I went to see Kristen, while I was talking to her I got the impression she wasn’t very close to Billy. All that ties her to him is their son.”
“Slade told me you planned on seeing her again.”
“Don’t worry Cas, I’m not going to say anything I shouldn’t. There’s no harm in talking to her.”
“I know you wouldn’t say anything but babe, you wear your emotions clear as day on your face. I don’t want you putting yourself through this,” I urge, almost pleading with her.
I’ve always retained control in everything I do but Lana has none of it. If I exerted the control over her that I would like to she would only end up in danger because she would do what she wants anyway.
“I’ll be fine, believe it or not, it felt good spending time with her. The guilt was still there but I don’t want them to have the memories I do. It wouldn’t be any good to her to know what really happened.”
I believe and I trust her. Lana is the solid in my life. I never have to question her love or loyalty to me. I take a deep breath and lift her chin so she’s looking at me.
“I love you so much. All this pain you feel I feel too. If I could, I would take it
all away. I would do absolutely anything for you. You, Alannah Blake, is the reason I fuckin’ breathe. I tell you every day I’m not lettin’ you go, so…”
I pause as I use my free hand to open the desk drawer and lay my hand on the small box that’s been sitting there for the last month and a half.
“Will you marry me? Be mine always?”
I open the box and show her the single set diamond ring I picked out for her.
“I thought you were never going to ask,” she whispers through her smile.
She takes hold of the ring box for closer inspection.
“It feels like you’re never gonna answer me,” I mumble.
“Of course I’ll marry you,” she beams.
I claim the ring back and slide it on her finger.
“I hope you like this ring because it’s never fuckin’ comin’ off.”
“I love it.”
Impatiently, I wait for her to quit admiring her new ring. When it feels like that isn’t going to happen anytime soon, I shift her round so she’s straddling me and claim her mouth.
As always, she is just as hungry for me as I am for her. I’ll never grow tired of this. Being totally committed to Lana is as natural as breathing.
Sex between Lana and I has always been equal. She needs me with an urgency that I share with her. So as soon as her lips were on mine, something deep inside her takes over and she is kissing me hungrily.
By the way she’s gripping my shirt and sliding her hand up to grip around my throat, I know how she needs me. Shifting us from the chair, she stands and disposes of her shorts and panties in a quick and fluid motion.
“Over the desk…now,” I grunt, unbuckling my belt.
She’s more than fucking ready for my cock and bends over the desk. The sight of her astounds me.
Biker Bound: The Lost Souls MC Series Page 3
