by Trina M. Lee
Gritting my teeth, I turned away, trying to put space between us. I shielded hard to block out Willow’s tempting vibes, but it was like using a screen to block out smell. It just didn’t work.
The energy in the building became a constant throb in my head. Too many sources and temptations. Every hunger I possessed was triggered. I shoved through the crowd for the exit. I had to get out of there. Leaving Falon and Willow gawking after me, I took off like a madwoman, tossing people aside.
I would kill them all if given the right opportunity. The potential for such a slaughter lived in me. It always had. Now there was nothing to keep it at bay.
Well, almost nothing.
As I burst through the door into the parking lot I ran straight into the hard body of a tall, tan guy who smelled of testosterone and cologne. Human. A heartbeat. It echoed in my ears, loud and insistent.
“Sorry.” He smiled apologetically and tried to go around me.
On autopilot, I snatched his wrist in a near bone-crushing grasp and yanked him to a stop. He stared at me in fear and wonder, under my thrall and I hadn’t done a damn thing. Hot on my heels, Falon emerged behind me and pried my fingers from the man’s wrist before shoving me along to the dark end of the parking lot where neither human nor vampire lingered. Willow quickly caught up to us.
“Is your other half as much of a handful as you are?” Falon released me when we were a safe distance from the front of the building. Then he too put some distance between us.
“Worse, I presume. He’s locked in my basement.” Looking at the two of them keeping their distance both from each other and from me, I couldn’t help the wicked ideas that came to mind.
Falon let out a low whistle. “Locked in your basement? That’s some twisted Lilah and Salem-level shit.”
“I’m so sorry, Alexa.” A hand on the bridge of his nose, Willow squeezed his eyes shut and swore.
“Whatever. It’s not like we didn’t know it would come to this.” Nibbling my bottom lip, I eyed them each in turn. So many ways to enjoy them. All that power. I wondered how easy it would be to get them to agree to a Falon and Willow sandwich.
Falon snapped his fingers to get my attention. “Stop looking at us like that, wolf. I’ll render you unconscious before I let you rope me into a three-way with the most uptight angel I ever met.”
I snickered. “We’ll see about that.”
Edging even further away, Willow stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at his beat-up Vans. “Another keystone would be a temporary fix, but it’s just a patch job at best. It won’t fix the unbalance. This isn’t something I’ve encountered before. You and Arys are like no other twins. I’m not sure what to do. I’m sorry, Alexa.”
His remorse for something that wasn’t his fault brought me temporarily back down to earth. “Willow, stop with the sorry. None of this is your fault. You did everything you could.”
“For nothing,” he muttered into his chest. “To watch you self-destruct. I call that a failure.”
“I call it love.” I took a step toward him but froze when his head jerked up and he stiffened defensively. “No matter what happens, I’ll never be anything but grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”
Falon snorted. “Is this a friggin’ Hallmark movie? Can we skip the heartfelt declarations and get to solving the damn problem?”
A swell of irritation fueled the glare I shot him. “Well we tried it your way, Falon. I’ll give you credit for being right, but Lilah ruined everything. So unless you have something new to add, keep your trap—”
“Arys has to kill you. Again.” Pausing to ensure he had my full attention, Falon added, “Fulfill your destiny to destruct. See it through. You might be surprised how it’s really supposed to end.”
He’d stunned me into silence. Did the fallen angel want me dead? Surely he couldn’t be serious.
While I pondered the implications of Falon’s claim, Willow crackled with a surge of angry energy. “That’s rich, Falon. You’re a bigger piece of shit than I thought you were. You have no authority to make such claims.”
The staff parked down at this end of the lot. I leaned against Justin’s truck, needing something to support me. “That’s your big solution? How is death going to save me?”
“You’re the queen of light and dark, Alexa. Get that through your thick head. I’m sick of repeating it.” Silver wings flared wide, cloaking Falon, they formed a warning to Willow. But his silver gaze slashed through the night at me alone. “You’re the link between life and death. Only you. So go there, to the brink where they meet. Find your lost light.”
I stared at him, aghast. Then I laughed. He had to be fucking with me. “Either you’ve lost your mind, or you just want to see me as ashes.”
“Or maybe,” Falon challenged, a haughty lift to his chin, “I know what I’m talking about, and you should listen to me.”
“She would die, Falon,” Willow admonished, horror etched onto his innocent face. “If she treads too close to death, her body could turn to ash. There’s no bringing her back from that.”
The fallen angel kicked an empty beer bottle. It skipped across the parking lot and shattered against a garbage bin. “In case you haven’t been paying attention, Willow, these rarities tend to walk through fire and not get burned. If anything, it makes them stronger. Their calling keeps them alive until it’s fulfilled. If it’s not her time, then it’s not her time.”
Eyes narrowed, Willow rubbed the stubble lining his jaw. “Sounds like a pretty way of feeding her a load of bullshit.”
The two of them eyed one another, something unspoken passing between them. I glanced from my fallen angel to my guardian, curiosity blooming.
Turning his penetrative gaze on me, Falon held out both hands, imploring me to trust him. With a rustle of feathers his regal, intimidating wings resettled around him. “You have to stop running from death. It will never stop chasing. Stand your ground and face it. If it is not your time, it cannot take you.”
I looked to Willow for a reaction. If he said Falon was talking shit out his ass, then I’d believe him. “Willow?”
My former, and in some ways current, guardian paced a small circle. He had the hardest time looking at me. I tried to shut down whatever they could feel seeping from me, shielding hard myself.
“There’s truth in his theory,” Willow admitted, struggling like it hurt. “People like you, who are called to great power, always face trials of some kind. Many of them have stood toe to toe with death itself and come out the other side. But there’s no guarantee. At some point, when faced with death, it will be the final time.”
“Bleak as fuck,” Falon quipped. “Good job, guardian. I’m impressed with your positive spirit and can-do attitude. Let’s put that shit on posters.”
“And what makes you so fucking sure it wouldn’t be a suicide mission?” Emotion overcame Willow and his shout rang through the parking lot.
Tension thrummed wildly between them. I could see it if I focused hard enough. The atmosphere came alive with each man’s enticing vibes. I stiffened, ready to shove away from the truck if they went at each other.
“Because it’s my fucking job to know things,” Falon fired back, his temper rising, wings flaring wide. “It’s what I do. I deal in information, and you should know how powerful the right information can be.”
Willow’s head snapped up, and he prowled toward Falon. Power danced in his hand. “Nobody could possibly know for certain the outcome if Alexa was to do this. It’s too risky.”
“It didn’t take you long to lose your faith, did it?” With a judgmental head shake, Falon held out a hand, inviting whatever Willow wanted to throw at him.
What Willow threw wasn’t power or a punch, but it had to have hurt just the same. “You’re no better than me, Falon. You have nothing to lose either way. What do you care if she lives or dies? She’s nothing to you but an outlet for the emotional baggage you can’t get rid of. A fixation. You don’t love her.”
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Falon had worked many years to shut down his emotions, especially when it involved Winter or reference to her. I’d glimpsed the pain he still harbored in bits and pieces when it overtook him. He’d never allow someone like Willow to see that side of him, but one thing he couldn’t quell was the anger. Being reminded of Winter by anyone at any time never ceased to piss him off.
“No, I don’t love her,” Falon retorted, taking a menacing step toward Willow. “I have my own reasons for caring, but I do care.”
This wasn’t good enough for Willow. He’d struck a nerve and he wanted to keep hitting it. “Why the hell should Alexa, or anyone else for that matter, trust you, Falon? There’s a reason they call you a traitor. Maybe we should explore your motives a little more closely.”
When the two of them started swinging and throwing psi attacks, I probably should’ve tried to break it up. Instead I saw my opportunity and took it.
Slipping away down the darkened alley, I let the bloodlust guide me. To the next street over, where the party crowd was drifting from bar to bar. Falon would catch up to me eventually, but the two of them should keep each other busy long enough for me to bleed some lucky human.
I didn’t want to wrap my mind around what Falon had said. It terrified me, because it had felt like truth. But I didn’t know if I was ready yet to stop running from death. I’d escaped it once. I couldn’t help but feel that death would not let me go so easily a second time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I mourned the destruction of Arys and me. I ached for him with every fiber of my being: body, mind, and soul. I mourned all that I knew we could be. Everything meant for us that we would never see before the darkness gunning for us consumed us entirely.
I also mourned the loss of a man I should never have loved the way I did. The one that instinct demanded I turn to in these times, to bury my weakness in the solace of his desperate desire. But I could no longer do that.
Kale was dead. God, how I missed him.
Arys and I were well on our way to self-annihilation. And me, I was staring at the bloodless corpse of the man I’d followed through an empty parking lot. Now I had a body to get rid of. The not so fun part of giving in.
“Well, that’s unfortunate,” I muttered, casting an irritated glance at the blood spatter on my clothes. The sudden smile that stretched across my face reeked of malice. It didn’t feel like me but something rooted deeper within. Something dark as fuck and hellbent on having me.
Staring at what was left of my victim, I laughed. The giddy high left me loopy and without care. Which had been the goal.
This party was just getting started. What I needed now was a good hit of werewolf or maybe vampire. No sense ruining a perfectly good high by coming down.
The chilly late winter air moved, the atmosphere shifting in response to Falon’s arrival. Scowl already in place, he took my chin in his hand and searched my eyes. “High as a fucking kite. Don’t you ever get tired of being so stupid and predictable?”
I ran my hands over his chest, another hunger finding its source of satisfaction. Blood and death had taken me to great heights. Falon’s fallen essence would keep me there. For hours. Even days if I rolled around in enough of his vast power.
“Don’t you ever get tired of that stick up your ass? You’re so uptight.” Hands sliding down to his waist, I reached beneath his shirt to trace the sexy patch of hair on his lower abdomen. “Let me help with that.”
Falon caught my wrist. A brow raised, he tilted his head and gave it a shake. “If your guardian wasn’t out here looking for you right now, I’d fuck my name out of you on the cold hard ground like the animal you are.”
Jerking my wrist free, I flicked the tip of my tongue over a fang. Eyeing Falon like he was an all-I-could-fuck buffet, I shrugged. “Afraid of getting caught, Falon? I didn’t take you for the shy type.”
The tiniest slip of suggestive, succubus heat accompanied my snark. I wanted to play with him. Tease him into a frenzy, bring him to the edge. Repeatedly. Until he begged. The wicked darkness slithered through me. Tempting me.
Seeing it in my eyes, Falon shook a scolding finger at me. “You play dirty. I like you dirty, but you’re running too hot. You’re crossing into dangerous territory.”
“As opposed to the safe zone I usually play in?” I challenged, chin lifted in defiance. “Either play with me or beat it. I don’t need you to babysit me.”
Desire bloomed in his silver eyes. His gaze drifted from my mouth down my body. “Your idea of control is to stay drunk on blood and power as you spiral headlong into the abyss. Someone has to keep you from doing that.”
“Oh yeah? And that’s going to be you?” Trailing a finger down my neck to my cleavage, I hit him with a sultry smirk. It was a weapon. Aimed and thrown with precision.
“Stop that manipulative crap, wolf,” Falon hissed. “Your twin is already full dark side. If you’re going to bring him back from that, you have to keep your shit together.”
With a hand on the back of my neck, he kissed me. A hard, bruising kiss. A taste of the power he had. I wanted it.
I was sick of being told how to deal with Arys, how to deal with myself. I was tired of having no chance to properly grieve the loss of Kale. Like Salem, Lilah, and Arys, I too wanted to give in and stop fighting the constant pull. To lose myself.
Falon caught my lip between his teeth, biting just hard enough to sting. “I’m not fucking you tonight. You need to keep a level head right now, and you can’t do that with my cock inside you.”
A snarl erupted from me. I shoved him away. “Why are you doing this? Saying these things about death and destiny. All this queen of light and dark bullshit. I don’t know who it is you think I am, but you’re wrong.”
“Since when did you stop being a badass and start being such a whiny brat? Suck it up, your highness.” Grabbing me around the waist, Falon jerked me hard against him. His kiss was teasing, bare touches with a slip of tongue here and there. “You’re a force to be reckoned with, but that doesn’t mean shit if you don’t own it.”
“I can’t,” I said softly, drawing on his heavy angelic vibes. It left me a little dizzy. “Not without Arys.”
Falon kissed my jawline before going lower, biting my neck. The fangless bite didn’t pierce skin, but it did send a shock of heat to my groin. “You are the link between life and death. He may be your other half, but you’re the one who will save you both. Don’t make me tell you again.”
“Whatever you say, boss.” I wanted him, and I let him see it in my hungry blue gaze. “But let’s just say I do make you tell me again. What happens after that?”
“Sometimes I’m quite certain The Circle stuck me with you as a form of punishment.” Brows knit together, Falon shook his head and sighed, laying the exasperation on thick. It didn’t disguise the way his heart picked up pace or the uptick in the lustful energy cloaking him. “You’re about to find out what happens, aren’t you?”
Pushing both hands up through my hair, I affected a feigned innocence. “How else could I possibly know? If you’re going to threaten me, Falon, the least you could do is follow through.”
A war raged behind his eyes. Falon wrestled with himself. Just for a second.
His hands were on me, sliding down to cup my ass, pulling me into his erection. Then my phone rang. The unwelcome interruption drove us apart.
The screen displayed Jez’s name.
“Jez, what’s up?” I answered, wanting to throttle her for the shitty timing.
“We’ve got eyes on Gabriel’s spawn. She’s holed up at that goth club just off Whyte.” Jez’s voice was breathy, like she moved fast as she spoke. “The one with the creepy back alley entrance. It looks like she’s making a move. Our guy thinks she’s taken the entire place hostage. We’re waiting on confirmation but heading over to check it out ourselves.”
I bit back the choice curse words I wanted to hurl. “Call Gabriel. Tell him to get his ass there now. I’m on my way.” Aft
er ending the call, I turned to Falon. “Guess we’ll have to take a rain check on the down and dirty animal sex. We’ve got to grab Gabriel’s offspring before she levels a nightclub.”
Falon ambled along beside me, making wisecracks about idiot vampires breeding. I fired off a quick text to let Shaz know where I was headed. When we were in the car on our way to the goth club, Siren’s Song, Falon reclined the seat, folding his hands beneath his head.
“There’s a chance death will want an exchange, demand a vampire in your place,” Falon said out of nowhere. “When you face it—which you will do because you have no other choice—you may want this vampiress alive.”
I warmed my fingers in front of the heater out of habit rather than necessity. Spring was right around the corner. From the death of winter to the rebirth of spring, I longed for it. Although I could have done without the symbolic parallels.
“You’re starting to freak me out.”
A sharp stab in my gut made me suck in a breath. Arys.
Like withdrawal I ached for him in a way that made me sick. One hand tight on the wheel, I opened the window for a cold blast. Something to ground me in the here and now. The heat made my head foggy.
“Good,” came Falon’s lazy reply. Eyes closed, he relaxed, unaware of the agony twisting my insides. “Then maybe you’ll start to take me seriously.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Siren’s Song sat at the end of a busy street known for its night life. Parking was next to impossible. I found a spot on a residential street three blocks away. The walk gave me time to try to clear the constant fog from my head.
Falon didn’t leave my side. Like the world’s most annoying thorn. When I drifted too close to a passerby, he grabbed my arm and jerked me close. But he too was a continuous temptation.
“Back off a little, would you?” I snapped. “Everyone is a temptation right now. Especially you.”
“Flattered. But I’ve seen how fast you can move when you go dark side. If you give in now, as unbalanced as you are, you may not come back from it. I’m not taking any chances.” Annoying as only Falon can be, he proceeded to shadow me like a bodyguard, putting himself between me and anyone we passed.
