He placed a finger under her chin and raised her face so she was looking into his eyes rather than at his chest. "You should know. Your heart is much stronger than mine."
Abby shook her head. "No. I jumped in after one boy. You jump in after hundreds. Day after day."
Oliver frowned. "I can't save them all." He released a long, shuddering breath. "I haven't saved them all. Not even close. In Miami I started believing my own hype."
She was silent for a moment, waiting for him to finish.
"Just before the last operation in Miami, my crew and I had rescued this family during a hurricane. I don't know why, but we became media darlings. Other crews out of our station rescued people, but there was something about this one family that made everyone call us heroes. It was heady, a rush.
"So when the chance came to take down a drug dealer bringing in a large shipment of cocaine, I...we took risks we shouldn't have. The result was I got shot and my crew was lost. I took a demotion from Lieutenant to Petty Officer after the whole thing."
He paused as if he expected her to say something derogatory. She wouldn't oblige him.
"Did the Coast Guard want to strip you of your rank?" she asked, keeping her anger at the system under wraps.
"No, no. They wanted to give me a medal because I got the drug dealer. He lived and is in prison. But I lost the rest of my crew."
She nodded and kissed his neck gently. "Oh, I see."
His hand, which had been rubbing up and down her spine, stopped.
"No, I don't think you do see. I lost four good men and women. They were the heroes, not me. I saved a crook and sacrificed friends. That isn't heroic, that's idiotic."
Abby could tell he was still wrapped in his grief from the incident. And no wonder. But perhaps what he needed wasn't more sympathy, but a good old-fashioned kick in the butt.
"Oh, I see. So you equate heroism with Godliness."
He paused. She could tell he was a bit taken aback by her words.
"No. But don't you think being a hero has responsibility? Don't you think a hero should save everyone?"
Abby hummed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly against her. "Of course not. No one could. You're human. You did the best you could in the situation and you've bled for every friend you've lost. You've mourned for each of them. That's what makes you a true hero."
He hugged her back and kissed her as well. "You make me almost believe it."
"Good. Maybe if I keep saying it for the next hundred years, you'll truly believe it."
He smiled. "That sounds about right. Because I'm not going to let you go for at least the next hundred years."
"Aye, aye, sir."
Trixie Stilletto
"Life is a smorgasbord of men. I believe in diving in like a starving woman hitting an all-you-can-eat buffet!
"Seriously, I love men and have been fortunate enough to work, and play (thank God) with some of the most intriguing ones on this fair earth. There's a little piece of each one in every hero I create. I've had all manner of odd jobs, such as waitress, cook and bottle washer for an all-night dive, truck driver, and, of course, writer. I write erotic romances because it's much more fun to keep the bedroom door wide open.
"My philosophy in life is simple. Love what you do and who you're with and they'll love you in return. Come and join me as I dive into the next delicious dessert."
* * * *
Don't miss Molding Clay, by Trixie Stilletto, available now from Amber Quill Press, LLC
Clay Fife has been in a rut. Vacationing in a small western New York town is a big mistake, until he sees a sculpture that will make a mint for his gallery and put the spark back in his life. He doesn't count on the artist being difficult, however. Sure, it's strange to make winner-take-all bets, but Clay has never been a loser and doesn't plan on starting now.
Edi Raines has a bone to pick with Clay, even though he doesn't remember it. And if she can help him find his way back to his roots, even better. But the bet she makes on a whim may end up costing her more than she can pay...
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