She was very grateful but apprehensive about moving her few possessions into Ty Gwyn. It was such a large and imposing place with its huge porch and solid oak door with the beautifully designed stained-glass window, and standing in its own garden made it seem far more important than the houses close by. She didn’t see the shabbiness, the need for paint and repairs after years of neglect.
Her own home had been the middle of a terrace of neglected houses without front gardens so the door led straight in from the street and behind the house was only a cemented yard.
She set off to talk to Ruth but walked around the block twice, attempting to summon the nerve to lift the heavy brass knocker on that impressive door. When she did walk up the front path she lost her nerve and went around to the back and tapped timidly, wondering where she would go if no one answered.
The door was pulled open abruptly and she backed away expecting a complaint, but the face that appeared was smiling and a hand came out to take her bag in a friendly way.
‘Tabs, come in. Why did you come to the back? I thought you’d use the front door.’
‘I’m sorry I thought….’ Words failed as Ruth ushered her inside and she saw the kitchen with its fire burning brightly and the comfortable couch on which a very fat cat was sprawled.
‘It’s I who should be sorry! This isn’t a good first impression, coming through our tatty, old-fashioned kitchen. I thought I’d be showing you the best room first.’ Ruth laughed. ‘We talk about improving it, making it into a proper kitchen, but nothing happens. It’s the most popular room in the house, and no one really wants it changed.’
‘It’s lovely,’ Tabitha said, staring about her in awe. ‘Such a friendly room. I’ve never seen a more – happy place,’ she finished in a whisper.
‘I’ll show you your room and the rest of the house soon but first we’ll have a cup of tea.’
‘Thank you.’ Tabitha sat on the edge of the chair Ruth pulled out for her and clutched her handbag tightly.
‘I’m glad you’re coming to stay. I’ve looked after the house ever since my parents died,’ Ruth explained. ‘My four brothers have been my life since then and now they’re all married and I don’t like not having other people around. I rattle miserably in all these empty rooms. Mali and Megan Grange and young Mickie are only staying for a few weeks, until they move into their flat and they have one of the big front bedrooms. The other room at the front is yours if you’d like it.’
‘Any room will do, certainly not one of the best ones!’ Tabitha looked horrified at the thought of such special treatment. ‘No, not the best room. One of the back ones would be fine.’
Ruth looked at her pale, thin, anxious face and thought that if she offered a cupboard on the landing the poor girl would gratefully accept. ‘The best room is yours,’ she promised. ‘I like it in my small back room and I don’t want the bother of changing.’
Moving in was simple, Tabitha carried all her worldly possessions in a couple of paper carrier bags and once installed, the room looked exactly the same as before. Ruth put a few cheerful cushions on the chair and some flowers on the window sill – which Tabitha immediately knocked over. She seemed afraid of being seen, and during those first few days, she unknowingly acquired a new nickname.
‘She’s like a little mouse,’ Ruth told Henry. ‘She creeps about so afraid of being a nuisance I hardly know she’s there and when we do meet she appears to be walking backwards in case she’s in the way. Poor little mouse.’
‘She’ll open out to you, I’m sure of it. Her father has never done much to encourage her to think good of herself. According to what I’ve learned, he wasn’t much kinder to his wife, either.’
‘I’m glad to have people living here again, but I still feel as though I’m alone. Mali and Megan stay in their room, only appearing when they need to use the kitchen, and the little mouse, she’s is more like a shadow than a real person. D’you think it would be wrong to ask her to help with a few chores? Better than her staying in her room, hiding away like a prisoner. Perhaps if I could persuade her to talk, she might be willing to share meals with me. It seems sad, both of us having to make our meals separately.’
‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’ Henry was smiling when she looked up expecting to see disapproval on his face. ‘You like looking after people, so why don’t we marry and start a family of our own?’
They were sitting on the couch near the slowly dying fire, and she moved slightly away from him, leaning forward, staring at the grey ashes. ‘I miss looking after the boys, but before I start thinking of marriage, I want to do something on my own, find out who I really am. It was something Toni said that made me realize I’ve done nothing except look after the boys, keep this house going for them so they have a home. I want to find out who I am. Does that sound stupid?’
‘No, I think that’s a good idea, just as long as you don’t allow your search to take you away from me.’
As though she hadn’t heard she went on, ‘Tommy’s Toni has really unsettled me. She’s very outspoken and says I should get a job, forget the years I sacrificed – her word not mine – caring for the boys, and do something I really want to do.’
‘And what do you really want to do?’
‘That’s the trouble, I don’t know. I’ve run this house for the family for so long that if I thought about it at all, I’d have imagined that it would go on in much the same way for ever.’
‘What about collecting insurance, door to door, would that suit? A friend told me about a vacancy and it hasn’t been advertised yet. I could put in a word for you? You’d enjoy getting out each day, at least for a while, until you decide what you really want to do. I’ll buy you a bike!’
She hesitated. ‘Henry, I don’t know. With Mali and Megan and now Tabs, I might find it possible to manage. They all pay me a little rent and it might be enough. With Toni’s baby on the way, I might be needed there too. I wouldn’t like to let them down.’
As though she hadn’t spoken, Henry stood up, then leant down to kiss her before saying, ‘You have an appointment to speak to a Mr Burrows tomorrow at ten-thirty.’
‘What d’you mean? I haven’t said I want a job yet!’
He handed her a piece of paper on which he had written the address and, kissing her again, he picked up his coat and left before she uttered another word.
It was Wednesday and she expected Tabs to be home before two o’clock and had waited so they could eat lunch together. Bt three o’clock she gave up and ate one of the sandwiches she had made. When Tabs came in a five o’clock she had a glow to her face that Ruth hadn’t seen before. Surely Henry wasn’t the cause? Tabs was unlikely to have found a boyfriend.
Tabs went to her room and changed her clothes from those she wore for the shop, she was so excited she knew people had stared at her as she walked alongside Jack, and on the bus journey home. He had been waiting when the shop closed and walked with her to a café where he bought her a cake, which she dropped, and tea which she spilt. He laughed, dropped his own cake before asking the counter assistant to hand him a cloth and dustpan and brush. ‘I’m so clumsy, it’s this girl,’ he told the counter assistant. ‘Got me in a real state she has.’ Which increased her embarrassment even more.
A miracle had happened. She had met Jack, a young and very good-looking man seven years her junior and he enjoyed her company. He didn’t find her boring and when she dropped something or spilt something, he just laughed and helped to clear it up. It wouldn’t last; she wasn’t stupid enough to think it would. Once he had given up looking for his family he wouldn’t stay. He’d move on and she’d be on her own again. Meanwhile she’d store memories and mementoes, like the bus tickets, and a stolen menu from a café. She would savour the moments like jewels; admired, borrowed, then returned to their proper place.
Ruth didn’t sleep that night. She could hardly explain, but walking back into the house when there was no one there was something she still found very difficult. Mali
and Megan were out for part of each day and she could usually arrange to go out at a time when she was sure there would be someone in when she got back. A 10.30 appointment was not a good time. She’d be back about twelve, long before anyone else. She knew this was becoming an obsession, timing her shopping to coincide with her lodgers. Tabs had said she would be going to Henry’s shop later, and Megan and Mali were out all day, alternating shifts and looking after Mickie.
She finished clearing up after breakfast and stared at the note. Her first instinct was to telephone this Mr Burrows and cancel, but, as she turned to reach for her coat to go to the telephone box, she bumped straight into Tabs who had entered the room silently and was standing trying to pluck up the courage to announce herself.
‘Oh! You gave me a fright, Tabs! How long have you been standing there?’
‘I just came to ask if I could make a cup of tea. I haven’t bought my food yet. Martha promised to get me some, but she didn’t and—’
‘Tabs, you can make tea any time you want. But now, you must have breakfast. Will some cereal do you? Or would you like some toast? There’s marmalade, or jam?’
‘No, don’t go to any trouble,’ Tabs said.
‘I’m not! You can make it, I’ve got to go out. I’ve shown you where everything is and tomorrow we’ll sort out a shelf in the pantry for your own things. Right? Unless – what do you think of sharing our shopping? It will be easier, won’t it?’
‘If you’re sure, I’d like that.’
‘Tabs, promise me one thing.’ The shy woman nodded anxiously. ‘Promise me that you’ll believe that if I say something, I mean it. I won’t try to be polite by saying something I don’t mean, and hoping you’ll disagree. Remember that and we’ll get on fine.’
Tabs smiled and reached out for the kettle and pushed it closer to the fire. ‘Just tea, I’ve had breakfast.’ She opened her bag which she carried everywhere with her and showed Ruth. Inside was a bag of biscuits. ‘I brought these so I didn’t have to bother you until I do my shopping and pay you some rent.’ Her eyes were wide as though expecting Ruth to be angry.
Ruth lifted the paper bag out and put them on the table. ‘Put them in the tin with the others. From today we share everything. Right?’ She watched as Tabitha spooned tea into the pot that stood warming on the hearth and reach for the holder before lifting the kettle and pouring the boiling water onto the leaves. ‘I’ll be back in an hour and we’ll have coffee with condensed milk, my favourite,’ she said as she went out.
Mr Burrows was in his late fifties, balding and with the newly scrubbed complexion of the fair skinned. Ruth noticed only his friendly smile as he gestured for her to sit. He was behind an impressive kneehole desk on which there were piles of papers, files and a telephone. ‘Henry tells me you’re looking for work after years spent looking after your brothers,’ he began.
‘Yes, they’re all married now and apart from staying in the house so they still call it home, they don’t need me any more.’
‘Are you excited at the prospect of going out each day and taking home a wage each week?’
‘Yes,’ she lied. ‘It’s time I had a life of my own.’
‘And selling insurance, collecting the weekly payments, it appeals?’
She decided that honesty was the wisest route or she would become entangled in her own lies. ‘I confess I hadn’t thought of a job like this one, Mr Burrows. I hadn’t really thought about what I’d like to do. It all happened very suddenly you see. Two brothers and their wives finding a flat and all moving out at the same time, it left me with nothing to do and I can’t just drift, hoping they’ll come for a meal sometimes because they feel sorry for me.’
‘Is that what you’ve been doing, Miss Thomas?’ he asked softly.
‘Yes,’ she admitted.
‘Then you’re very wise to realize it and decide to do something about it.’ He smiled then and said, ‘If you would like to give it a try, I’ll get one of the other agents to go around your route with you for the first week, and then, if you decide it’s for you, you can start a week from Monday. Will that suit you?’
‘Thank you very much.’
Sick with a mixture of excitement and dread, she went to a telephone box and phoned Henry’s shop to tell him.
‘Ruth, I’m proud of you,’ he said.
‘Don’t be. Not yet. After being shown what I have to do – including book-keeping and making sums add up, I might not be taking the job!’
He just laughed. ‘See you tonight and I’ll bring fish and chips to celebrate.’
‘Better make it for three then, the mouse and I have decided to share everything.’
‘Everything? Does that include me?’
‘She wouldn’t dare!’ They were both smiling as the telephones were replaced.
A few days later, Tabitha had settled into a routine and if she did more than her share of the cleaning, Ruth said nothing, afraid of embarrassing her. Time to sort out a few rules to balance things out later.
Tabs decided that working a few hours for Henry wasn’t enough to pay her way. She didn’t want to stop helping in the shop but needed something more. She so enjoyed talking to Ruth, listening to her stories about her childhood and of the antics of her four brothers. Her own experience of family life hadn’t been anything like the life Ruth described and she knew she would never tire of hearing about childhood in Ty Gwyn. Her nightmare was being told to leave.
For a couple of weeks she did a poorly paid job in a newsagent’s shop, getting up very early and marking the papers and putting them into the bags ready for the boys to deliver them. After they had gone she sometimes earned a little more by doing some housework for the wife. One day, the newsagent hurt his hand and asked if she could possibly fill in the outgoings and income for the week. Her handwriting was neat and the books were updated efficiently. When the newsagent realized how clever she was with figures, he found someone else for the morning tasks and asked her to do the book-keeping instead. Fast and never making a mistake, she was taken on permanently and given a small room at the back of the shop as her office. She loved it.
One of the first things she did was read through the names and addresses of customers and she found two families called Tyler. These she handed to Jack when they next met. To her alarm he kissed her, right there in the street, for anyone to see. Laughing at her confusion, he led her behind a hedge in the park and did it again.
‘Did you find out anything more about where you’re staying?’ he asked.
‘Ruth doesn’t know anything about her grandparents except what Dad’s wife-to-be Martha has told her. But she has a pile of papers to look through, old forms, insurance books, school reports and ancient bills all jumbled up. When she looks through them there might be something helpful.’
‘Thanks. Tabs. I don’t know what I’d do without you and I hope I never find out.’
With feigned reluctance he left her, after kisses that left her breathless, and more flattery. ‘I’ll be away for a while but as soon as I get back I’ll come and find you,’ he said, adding huskily, ‘Tabs, I can’t wait to get back to you.’ He waved until she was out of sight then ran to the railway station. First a train, then a bus, it was time to get back to his other life.
Jack telephoned Abigail, thankful that she had a telephone. ‘Abi, love,’ he said,’ I’m on my way home.’ Abigail gave a sigh of relief when he called to say he was on his way back to her. When he went away to search for his family she never knew how long he would be away. She met him at the bus stop and they walked, arm in arm, stopping for an occasional kiss.
He loved walking beside her, she made him so proud. She was slim, elegantly dressed and never without a matching hat, turning heads of both men and women.
Their reunion was affectionate, and as they ate the meal she had prepared, began exchanging news. She laughed at his stories of surviving without spending any of money, determined to add to their savings. He explained in light-hearted fashion the menial jobs
he had done, but told her nothing about his thieving, as he handed her all he had brought to add to their savings.
When they prepared for bed she became serious and said she had something important to tell him.
‘Jack I’m going to have to give up my job.’
‘Why? Been given a better offer?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m going to have a baby. I won’t be able to dress like a mannequin and parade around in beautiful clothes for much longer.’
He hugged her to hide the shock his face must show. ‘Darling Abi, I’m so thrilled. It’s exactly what we need. I’ll give up searching for my inheritance at once and stay here to look after you.’
‘There isn’t enough saved to start a business like we planned. I haven’t been very sensible with money,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve bought so many clothes; there’s the car, the holidays we’ve enjoyed, and everything in the flat is the best I could find – now I wish I’d been practical. When you earn a lot of money as I’ve done, you treat it as normal, convinced that it will go on for ever. You never think there’ll be a time when it isn’t there. This has been a shock and I honestly don’t know how we’ll manage. I have to find a cheaper place, one where Mum will be comfortable. She’s important. I have to consider her before myself.’
‘Me, too. She has to live in a place where she’s truly content. Don’t worry, we’ll find a place easily. Leave it to me. I’m your man and I’ll look after you. You’ll miss working, you love it, but you and our baby come first. How long before you have to give up your job?’
‘A few weeks before clothes start looking as though they were made for someone else. I’ve already given notice on this flat.’ She looked around her. ‘It will be a long time before we can live in a beautiful place like this again.’
‘Not that long. If only I could find the family that owes me my inheritance. We could certainly do with it now.’ He looked at her hesitantly. ‘I might be close to finding them, d’you think I could have a little while longer to try and find them?’
Nothing is Forever Page 8
