“Don’t you know how to return a phone call?” he barked.
“Might want to reach around and pull the wedgie out of your ass, Lor. It’s making you grouchy.”
He made a sound.
I made one back. “I just texted you. I was on my way to find you now.”
“Get in. I’ll drive you over.” He motioned to the passenger side.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, totally picking up on his weird-ass vibe. Jace was a douche and he bitched at me all the time, but this was different. Something was wrong.
“Is Joey okay?” Another bad thought trampled over my chest. “Hopper?”
“Hopper and Josie are fine.” He promised. “Hopper’s over there barking orders like he runs the place.”
“He does,” I pointed out.
Lorhaven rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
I smiled. He was warming up to Hopp. He just hated to admit it.
He noticed me smiling and gave me the finger. Then he sobered up. “You love him, don’t you?”
I chewed my lower lip, then nodded. “I haven’t told him,” I said, low.
He sighed, almost resigned. “You’re happy. He’s been good for you. Good to you.”
“You have no idea,” I whispered.
“I’ll still kill him,” Jace warned.
I rolled my eyes, but deep down, I really appreciated how much he cared. It meant a lot to me, and having Jace’s blessing was something I really wanted.
“C’mon.” He motioned.
I got in the Lotus, and he peeled away from the curb and around the corner. The staff entrance came into sight. I liked how my brother used the staff shit even though he wasn’t employed here. That was Lorhaven, though. He did what he wanted, and in his mind, since I worked and lived here, this was his place, too.
Really, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“So what’s going on?” I asked.
He glanced at me, and the tension in the car went off the charts. “Just so we’re clear, I had no idea he was coming here. Once I realized, I told him to fucking leave.”
My stomach twisted. “Who?”
Lorhaven swallowed and gripped the steering wheel like he was having a hard time containing his anger. There weren’t many people that pissed off my brother this much.
Right before he drove through the staff entrance, I glanced up and gasped.
Lorhaven followed my stare, and a string of cuss words filled the car. He slammed on his brakes, and the tires squealed before the car jerked to a halt. The man on the sidewalk stepped forward like he’d been standing there just waiting for us to pull up.
It was like a horrible flashback or a bad case of déjà vu. Suddenly, I was transported back to what it was like to be Dylan. To feeling completely repressed, worthless, and scared.
“Is this what you wanted to tell me?” I uttered to Lorhaven, still staring.
“Guess it was too much to ask for him to fucking listen. Sorry bastard,” Lor growled.
So much for giving up. So much for taking a hint. Guess that’s why my father tried to call this morning.
He was here.
I was fucking busy. Getting a team of drivers ready to go, following protocol, blah, blah, blah, wasn’t something that could be done in five seconds flat.
I didn’t mind it really. I liked my job.
But something felt off.
I glanced at my cell, noting the time. Later than I realized.
Forgetting my clipboard and the people standing around, I craned my neck, sweeping around for the familiar blond head. He should have been here by now, but I didn’t see him anywhere.
Where the hell is Arrow?
“What the hell is he doing here?” I said low, still staring through the window.
“I don’t have a fucking clue. Didn’t give him the chance to tell me. I just told him to leave,” Lorhaven replied.
“Stay here,” Lorhaven said when I didn’t reply. “This time he’ll do what the fuck I told him to do.”
“Wait,” I said suddenly out of the weird stillness that had overcome me and grabbed Jace’s arm.
He glanced around, concern darkening his already deep stare. “You don’t have to deal with this.”
“Yeah, I do,” I said. “This is my fight.”
He started to argue, and I made a hard sound. “No, Lor. He’s here for me. I’ve been dodging him for a long time now. I’m not running anymore.”
“You have a race,” Jace protested. “This isn’t the time.”
“Yeah?” I scoffed. “Add it to the long fucking list of shit I never had any say in.”
My brother sucked in a breath. “Arrow.”
I wasn’t about to sit and debate any longer. Instead, I got out of the car with confidence I didn’t feel and shut the door firmly behind. “What are you doing here?” I snapped.
Sullivan acted as if there wasn’t a huge rift between us, like he didn’t disown me several years past. “Dylan,” he said, “so good to see you.”
“My name is Arrow now, which I’m sure you know.”
He inclined his head. “Yes, I had heard. I guess some habits are hard to break.”
“That why you’re here?” I intoned. “Have an itch to try and control someone?”
Behind us, the door on Lorhaven’s side slammed shut. “I told you to fucking leave.”
“And I told you I’m here to see Arrow,” Sullivan said.
“He has a race. You have no right to show up here.” Jace raged.
My father looked about the same. Same formal business suit. Same hair, same posture and demeanor. He stood in such a way it always appeared he was looking down on everyone else. All the old feelings of not being good enough and playing a part came rushing back.
“Well, we could have done this another time and place, but no one will return my phone calls.”
Jace laughed bitterly. I knew it was the sound of him getting ready to tear into the old man.
I held out a hand to him, staring straight at my father. “What do you want?”
He seemed a little surprised at the direct, focused way I stared him down. The way I just told Jace to shut it with a single gesture and spoke for myself.
I might’ve had a lot of old feelings running wild inside me, but I wasn’t the same.
“I read your interview with GearShark,” Sullivan said.
My face twisted. “How? It’s not on the stands yet.” I haven’t even read it yet.
“I have a connection at the magazine. They sent me an early copy.”
Jace made a sound. “You bribing people at magazines now? That issue hasn’t even gone to print.”
Sullivan shrugged one shoulder. “I was proud. I wanted to be the first to read my son’s big interview.”
“You mean the son you disowned?” I said, cold.
“If you had answered any of the multiple calls I made or contacted me, as I asked your brother to do, you would know I wanted to apologize for that misfortunate understanding.”
I made a choked sound. “Misfortunate understanding? You mean the fact that you paid some skank ten grand to have sex with me while you sat in another room and watched? That misunderstanding?”
Jace made an outraged sound. Oops, guess I didn’t mention some of the details to him.
“Or maybe the misunderstanding when you took away my home, my money, my car, and tried to bribe me to be exactly what you wanted in order to earn it back.”
“I’ve come to apologize, not to rehash it all,” he said, hard. Guess the old man was starting to get frustrated. Maybe the picture I painted looked dirty, even to him.
“Saying sorry doesn’t change anything,” I intoned.
“I know that.” Sullivan relented. “That’s why I’m giving you back access to your trust fund, and I’d like to sponsor you in a major way with NASCAR. Perhaps you might like to do some endorsements for some of the companies I own as well.”
Jace starting laughing. The sound was momentarily drowned out
by a car driving through the staff entrance.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jace raged. “What the fuck is this? A bribe? Why now, Dad? Why show up at a race with all these pretty offers?”
“You wouldn’t answer my calls, so I decided to come to watch your race. Try and make things right.”
I tilted my head. “What’s in it for you?”
Sullivan’s eyes widened. “What?”
“What do you get out of this new relationship with the son you’ve had no use for?”
Jace leaned over. “Good one, bro.”
“I don’t get anything out of it but the ability to see my son succeed.”
“No fucking way. Sullivan Lorhaven doesn’t do anything unless it benefits him.” Jace scoffed.
Sullivan started bitching at Jace, but I didn’t hear his words. I just stood there as my brother and father argued, staring at the man who basically gave my life a one-way ticket into hell.
Except I got out.
And I wasn’t fucking going back.
“You read my interview,” I said.
Both men shut up and looked at me.
Sullivan cleared his throat. “Yes, I did. I was very impressed.”
“Impressed by me or the fact that NASCAR is?”
“I beg your pardon?” He sniffed.
I straightened and regarded him in a way I hoped made him feel I was staring down at him. “You don’t like me. In fact, I still disgust you. I can see it in your face.”
“That is not true!” he spat.
“I’m in a relationship with another man,” I announced. “We live together.” Technically, we didn’t, but he didn’t need to know that.
“I’m aware,” he said, distaste coating his tongue.
“Ah, that’s right. The article,” I mused. “Be careful, Sully. Your true colors are showing.”
He started to argue once again, and I flashed a cold, hard look right at him. He shut up.
“I’ve been dodging your pathetic phone calls for almost a year. You never pushed. You never tried to see me. You just called so you could tell yourself you attempted to patch things up with me and I was the one who ruined it. It was just a way to assuage your conscience, but I have to admit I’m surprised you have one at all.”
Lorhaven shifted closer and crossed his arms over his chest. I glanced at him, and he nodded in full support.
“But now, out of the blue, here you are. Just happens to be my first preseason race, right on the heels of a nationwide exclusive interview announcing I’ve signed with NASCAR. An interview you bribed someone to read early.”
“What is your point?” Sullivan snapped.
“My point is you still despise me. My lifestyle still appalls you, but everyone else is accepting it. NASCAR signed me. I have big sponsors lined up, interviews booked. No one cares I’m gay. If anything, the fact that I’m out of the closet and willing to be one of the first openly gay drivers in the pros works in my favor.”
Sullivan shifted uncomfortably.
“Strange world we live in, huh, Dad? Society is changing. Diversity is becoming key in marketing, business, and in getting big approval ratings from consumers. Way I see it, you want everyone to think we have a fantastic relationship. Sullivan Lorhaven, proud father of the first gay pro driver. You want your name on my car, on my suit. You want me to say how fucking great you are in all my interviews. Because if I tell people what you’re really like, well, that’s gonna hurt the name you’ve built.”
“You sick son of a bitch,” Lorhaven growled.
Sullivan shook his head sadly, but it was a lie. I saw the truth deep in his eyes. He couldn’t hide it from me anymore. I saw who he really was. “I know I hurt you, Dy—Arrow. And for that I’m sorry. I made terrible mistakes. I’m here because I want to make up for them. I want to rebuild our relationship.”
I laughed. “Go to hell.”
Sullivan stepped toward me. Jace leapt forward, putting a restraining hand on him. “You said your piece. Arrow said no. Now leave.”
My father stepped back. I could tell he was utterly surprised. He was expecting Dylan today. The kid who used to want so badly to have his approval, to be the son he wanted.
“C’mon,” Jace said. “You have a race.”
I shook off the sadness barreling toward me and headed for the car. Before I could get in, I felt a hand wrap around my wrist.
“Son.”
I glanced around, snatching my arm out of his hold. “Don’t touch me.”
He drew back. “Just think about it.” He implored. “I really do want to make it up to you. I’m proud of you, son. Of everything you’ve accomplished.”
I shut my eyes. How many years had I longed to hear him say he was proud of me? So many I’d lost count. The thought to give him a second chance crept into my mind.
“A,” Jace said from inside the car.
I blinked.
Sullivan nodded as if he knew what I was feeling. “Think about it.”
I got in the car and slammed the door between us.
Jace sped away before I even settled back into the seat. “Hey.”
I turned to look at my brother.
“That was fucking epic. Surprised the shit out of the old douche. You handled him well.”
I grunted and glanced out the window. If it had been so epic and if I had done so well… why the fuck did I feel so shitty?
I was just about to go searching when I saw him.
I tucked away the phone pressed against my ear and started forward. Someone called my name, but I waved them off.
Arrow saw me heading his way; his footsteps stuttered. Something was wrong. I knew it instantly. Lorhaven was right beside him, but I didn’t even glance at him. All my focus was on Arrow.
My steps quickened, and when I was close enough, I said, “What happened?”
Arrow seemed a little pale, though he stood tall. When he didn’t answer, I glanced at Lorhaven. He was staring between us like he wasn’t sure if he should say anything.
“Would you mind heading over to Arrow’s pit? Light a fire under their asses and make sure they’re doing their jobs,” I asked.
Lorhaven nodded. “Sure.” Before he left, he spoke to Arrow. “You need to me stay?”
“No.”
Lorhaven gave me a short glance before heading in the direction of the pit. It was perfectly organized, and his crew was working hard. I’d already seen to it, but I wanted a minute with A.
“Babe?” I said softly, moving closer to his side.
He gestured with his head toward the locker room door, so I followed him inside. After he quickly made sure it was empty, he regarded me with more of a naked stare. The pain there, the way he appeared haunted, was oddly familiar.
I had worn the same look many times.
“My father is here,” he said, slapping me with some unexpected shit.
“What?” I said, trying to get my brain to catch up.
A nodded. “Guess I should have answered my phone. Maybe I would’ve had a warning. Or warned him off.”
My eyes widened. “Wait, he’s here? Like at the track?”
“He was standing outside the staff entrance when Lor and I drove up.”
I ran a hand over my face. My fingers smelled like oil and gasoline. “You talked to him?”
Arrow nodded miserably.
I crossed the room swiftly and yanked him against me. He ducked his face into my neck, and I pressed my cheek on top of his head. That fucker put him through the ringer. He damaged him beyond repair, and he showed up now? Just as Arrow was starting to discover he could have a life, one that made him happy?
White-hot rage started in my toes and moved up like flickering flames through my limbs until it reached my chest and muffled my breathing. I hadn’t felt anger like this since Matt was killed. Since Matt was run off the road by jealous, selfish assholes.
The only difference between then and now was back then, I was also so broken with grief the anger came seco
nd.
Now?
I was just fucking pissed off.
“What did he say to you?” I demanded but rubbed his back carefully.
Arrow pulled back and sniffed. “Not much. I did most of the talking.”
I tilted my head and waited to hear what else he would say. I didn’t have to wait long.
“He fucking thinks he can just waltz back into my life and offer me a stack of money, a sponsorship, and a “new” relationship and I’ll just pretend he didn’t drive me into hell and drop me there.”
I blinked. “He wants a relationship?”
Arrow laughed, hollow. “He wants to use me.”
“Because you’re with NASCAR now.” I surmised, getting even more pissed.
“I told him to go to hell. He still hates me. He just has a use for me now.”
My chest cracked. The misery beneath the anger in his words was unmistakable. I understood, because some pain was almost impossible to let go.
“Fuck him,” I announced. “Fuck him and the subpar car he rode in on.”
Arrow laughed.
I stepped close, grabbing the front of his T-shirt. “He hurt you. Abandoned you. He doesn’t deserve you.”
Arrow lifted his chin and stared into my eyes.
“That peckerhead took a lot from you in the past, but he can’t touch your future. He can’t touch you here and now. You told him to go to hell. You were the one in control today. Don’t give him anymore time, babe. Focus on the here and now. Focus on me and the race.”
He leaned in and kissed me fiercely. Our tongues battled it out, and he walked a few steps so I was pinned between him and the lockers. After a few moments of unbridled making out, he lifted his head.
“Thank you.”
I smiled. “Don’t thank me. I didn’t do anything.”
“You’re here.”
“And I’ll be here after the race. And tomorrow. And the day after that.”
He looked like he was about to say something, but across the room, the door cracked open and Lorhaven yelled in. “Get your asses out here!”
“You gonna be okay to drive today?” I asked, concerned. The last thing he needed was this shit in his head before he competed.
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
#Blur (The GearShark Series Book 4) Page 31
