#Blur (The GearShark Series Book 4)

by Cambria Hebert

  “Show ‘em who’s boss out there, babe.” I smacked him on the ass.

  “Spank it!” A joked.

  “Don’t tempt me,” I murmured as we went toward the door. His chuckle floated behind him.

  Outside, Lorhaven was waiting with a scowl on his face. “Took you assholes long enough.”

  “Sorry,” Arrow muttered.

  Lorhaven slapped him on the back. “It’s cool, bro.”

  He gave me a probing stare, and I nodded. A look of relief washed over his features, and he flung an arm across Arrow’s shoulders. “Your crew is looking pretty good,” he said as we walked toward the pit.

  “They know what they’re doing, Jace.”

  “Well, I had to make sure. Not every day my little bro drives for a million bucks!”

  As we passed a section of the stands on our way toward Pit Row, someone shouted Arrow’s name.

  It was another dude, so naturally, my instincts roared with jealousy.

  “Arrow!” he called deep. “Arrow!”

  “I know we said we were low key in public, babe, but I will low-key punch an asshole in the face if he’s hitting on you,” I growled and turned around.

  Arrow and Jace weren’t amused by my funny but all-too-true threat. In fact, they weren’t even looking at me. Instead, they were both rigid and staring up at the stands.

  I followed their eyes to a man in a full business suit, a coat, and red scarf. He was an older man… and frankly, I was surprised he had the balls to hit on my man right here.

  “Good luck today, son!” the man yelled.

  I jerked like he’d fired a gun.

  “That’s your dad?” I snapped.

  “I’m rooting for you!” He waved and smiled.

  The people around him were watching and curious.

  Lorhaven gave him the finger. Arrow just turned and walked away.

  I stood there a few seconds longer and stared with narrow focus on the asshole until he couldn’t ignore me any longer. Our eyes met.

  He knew who I was. He knew it instantly, because he could likely feel the hate rolling in great tidal waves right off me.

  His eyes flashed. All the fake friendliness and excitement for his son’s first race dropped to reveal his true sentiments.

  He hated me, too. He hated the fact I was dating his son.

  That’s okay.

  I hated him a hell of a lot more.

  I put my back to him, refusing to give him a single second more of my attention, and jogged to catch up to Arrow and Hopper. I slipped right up to A’s side and slid my hand into his. He gripped onto my fingers, and I held tight.

  In the pit, no one reacted to us holding hands; they never did. It wasn’t the first time we did, and it wouldn’t be the last. I was serious when I held that staff meeting about being tolerant and accepting. Arrow already had enough intolerance and bigotry for three gay men in his lifetime, and I was seriously putting my foot down about this shit.

  It wouldn’t happen. Not now. Not ever.

  Could I stop people from feeling the way they did? Nope. Could I keep them away from Arrow and the life we had?

  I could fucking try.

  He needed to live in a world where it was okay to be himself. My most important goal was to create as much of that around us as possible.

  The start of the race was closing in on us, and I had some last-minute manager shit to handle, so I left A with Lor, Joey, Drew, and Trent, promising to be back in plenty of time for us all to take position.

  I was glad all his family was here. He needed all the support he could get today. As I headed back over to him, I watched how all four people surrounded Arrow, how they closed ranks around him to keep out anything negative. They looked like a mini gang standing there in the matching ugly-ass fire suits.

  I miss that.

  I miss family.

  I had a big family once. I pushed them all away. I was starting to think maybe it was time to reach out. It would be nice to have that relationship back. To have people who were always there. I wondered if they would still speak to me or if they had written me off by now.

  I took a moment to imagine what it would be like to bring Arrow back home. What it would be like to visit Seattle with him and show him all my old haunts. The familiar ache when I thought of home surfaced, but instead of letting it shut me down, I embraced it. I allowed myself to feel the loss of Matt and my entire family

  My parents would love Arrow. My sisters would want to do his hair, and my nieces and nephews would probably try and copy his grungy style right down to the high-tops he wore. There would be a loud family dinner with too much food, and they’d probably tease him about looking like Justin Bieber.

  Not only would I get my family back, but he would get one as well. I wanted that for him. For me.

  He looked through the people circling him and saw me heading his way and smiled. My chest squeezed, and I smiled back.

  I was looking at my future. My true infinity.

  Even though in my head it hurt to recognize, my heart whispered it unapologetically.

  Something—someone—had never felt so right.

  The group parted, and I stepped beside Arrow. From the side, my headset was being handed to me, and I glanced up at Trent.

  He smiled. It was like he knew. He knew what I was thinking.

  “You’re a part of us now, too,” he said quietly.

  I took the headset and put it over my hat. “Thanks,” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say. “All right!” I called. “Positions!”

  Everyone backed off but didn’t go far. The pit was going to be pretty full this race.

  Arrow was gazing off in the direction of the stands, where the man I would now to refer to as The Fucker was last seen.

  I grabbed his chin and pulled his face around. “Don’t think about him right now. Right now, it’s the race. Divided attention is dangerous.”

  His eyes locked on mine. “I’m here.”

  “You sure?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Let’s do this!”

  And just like that, the race was on.

  Laps flew by.

  The faster I went, the more of a blur everything around me became. I relished the feeling. The freedom.

  Maybe I felt a little out of control. Maybe that was why I drove a little less cautiously than usual, but it was working. I wasn’t far behind the car in first place.

  We had several more laps to go, so it was possible I could move up a few more places.

  That was goal. Show everyone watching, everyone who ever thought I couldn’t do this that I not only could, but I would.

  Screw you, Sullivan.

  In a sick way, I wanted to win, not just for me, but to stick it to him. Make him regret he never saw my value before other people he considered worthy did.

  “Babe, you are magic on the track today.” Hopper’s voice filled my ear.

  I grinned while keeping my eyes on the road. Everything was a blur, but his voice was crystal clear.

  I gave a loud, “Whoop,” and he laughed.

  “Someone’s coming up on your right. They’ve been waiting to make a move. They want around you.”

  “Got it,” I answered and slid over just enough to keep them back.

  “Nice,” he said, and I could tell he was already calculating. “After the next curve, on the straightaway, punch it. It’s a good time to try and pass up a couple. Close in on the front of the pack.”

  “I’ll start before I’m out of the curve so it’s not expected,” I said, already running through the maneuver in my head.

  “That could work.”

  “Of course it will,” I said, confident.

  His warm chuckle filled my head.

  “I like your voice in my ear.”

  “I’m thinking that may not be all I’ve got in you later tonight.”

  I groaned. “Don’t distract me.”

  “Right,” he murmured. “All right, get yourself into a position. Comi
ng up to the curve. Watch your back right end. That guy’s still hungry.”

  I settled into the seat, ready to try and lap some cars.

  “Hey, A,” Hopper said. “Hold off on the pass. The car several ahead looks like its tire is gonna go.”

  It did look a little wonky. That was the consequence of pushing to stay in the lead and not stopping in the pit.

  “He’s pretty far up and on the other side. I can lap a couple cars and still stay off his ass.”

  “Just hang back a minute,” Hopper repeated.

  Impatience made my fingers shake. My knee bounced up and down rapidly. I wanted this lead. I wanted to shove a win down my father’s throat. I wanted to prove to myself that despite him showing up, I could win anyway.

  As much as I tried to keep him out, he was in my head. I shoved him back, only to have him reappear. The way he looked today, the words he said… I tried to remind myself I wasn’t a teenager. He wasn’t in charge of my life. I was my own man, and nothing he said had to affect me anymore.

  As I drove, I glanced up into the crowd that was nothing but a streak of colors as I tore around the track. I imagined him sitting in the stands, telling everyone around him his son was driving today.

  He pissed me off. How dare he come here? How dare he try and take away my first race?

  I channeled the anger trying to consume me into my driving, into the gas pedal. “I’m going for it,” I told Hopper.

  In seconds, I whipped around the car in front of me and closed in on the next. I smiled to myself as the possibility of placing in this race became closer.

  Up ahead, a loud sound exploded. I heard it over the engine, over the other cars around me, and even the crowd in the stands.

  Through the windshield, I watched the car with a now-blown tire swerve erratically and take out the car in front of it. He flipped up into the air, soaring over the car he hit, and slammed onto the track to roll into the shoulder, leaving parts littering the pavement behind.

  The car that had taken the first hit struggled to remain in control, and he began spinning. The car in front of me slammed into it, and then the car dogging my back right side appeared out of nowhere on the other side and sped around me like it was going to somehow maneuver through the wreckage.

  “Brake!” Hopper yelled in my ear. “Fucking pileup! Get the hell away from it.”

  I backed off the gas, driving across the track, trying to avoid the mess.

  But the mess followed.

  The asshole driver behind me, who was now in front, hit a piece of debris, skittering out of control, and slammed into another wrecked car, spinning straight toward me.

  Hopper was screaming in my ear, but I didn’t hear what he was saying. Everything slowed into a painfully clear picture.

  I swerved the wheel, trying to avoid what I knew was coming. My car groaned, trying to comply with my urgent demands.

  The impact was instant, the sounds of shattering glass filled the cabin, and the smell of burning engines, rubber, and fuel wafted inside.

  It went by in a blink. One minute I was on one side of the track; the next I was on the other, my car part of the pileup I was trying to avoid.

  “Jesus Christ!” Hopper rasped, horror in his voice. “Brace yourself, Arrow. Fucking hold on.”

  I glanced up when he said those chilling words as another car tried to stop but failed and slammed right into my side.

  My head rocked on my shoulders, the helmet banging against the interior safety bars, and my body screamed.

  More sounds of groaning metal and more jostling vibrated the metal around me. My helmet smacked the bar again, and everything went quiet.

  My heart stopped. One beat. Two.

  Not again.

  Not fucking again.

  One minute everything was fine; the next I was witnessed firsthand my worst nightmare literally crashing my life.

  “Arrow!” I roared as cars piled on top of one another and he somehow got caught in the jumble. It was a true clusterfuck out there, hard to tell where the wreckage began and where it ended. Still, some cars that had been far enough back to avoid it cruised on past. The ones ahead still circled the track. The crash was bad enough I knew a red flag was about to be thrown down, halting everyone on the track, involved in the crash or not.

  “Arrow!” I demanded into the mic. I needed to hear his voice.

  Just let me hear your voice.

  Radio silence greeted me. My breathing hitched, and I started to wheeze. I stared out at the crash, where responders were already on their way.

  I couldn’t leave his life in someone else’s hands. I couldn’t stand here and wait.

  I couldn’t go back to that morgue.

  I glanced around furiously. The need to run pulsed through my body. I needed to get there faster than my legs could go. He needed me now.

  Then I saw it.

  The motorcycle sitting nearby, likely one of the crew’s. I didn’t even think. I ran toward it, leapt on the seat, and fired it up. It rumbled beneath me in a way my body recognized as familiar but my brain didn’t even register.

  I tore off across the track, not stopping for any of the cars. I didn’t even pay them any mind. I heard a few wheels squealing as I ripped over the ground, but I didn’t look back. Not even when I saw the red flag come waving. I wasn’t getting off this track. Not without Arrow. I stared straight ahead, trying to clear my blurring vision as I searched for him in the wreckage.

  The bike hit some dirt and grass. Chunks flew up, and the back end tried to fishtail, but I forced the control, dodged some debris, and buzzed around a car that had already been abandoned.

  Flashing lights and sirens were all around, and then the loud, intrusive sound of a firetruck cut through it all. I glanced up as it pulled to a stop right beside the worst of the pileup. I revved the bike and scanned the cars.

  When I spotted the hood of Arrow’s car, I skidded around another car and jerked the bike to a stop.

  “We need the hose!” the fire crew yelled, and a rush of heat from the flames nearby hit me in the face. One of the cars was on fire. The shit around it was catching, moving down the line… right for Arrow’s car.

  “Please don’t die,” I prayed, leaping over the hood of a demolished vehicle.

  “I’m not going anywhere.” His voice crackled in my ear.

  “Thank Christ, Arrow.” My voice wobbled as I rushed forward.

  His window was busted and the windshield was cracked. Inside the car, he was moving, struggling with something. I reached into the window, ignoring the jagged glass, and grabbed him.

  “I’m fucking stuck,” he said, tugging on the harness that was doing too good of a job keeping him in. “Call one of the responders to cut this thing off.”

  I glanced over, noting the flames still growing, and sweat broke out between my shoulder blades. I wasn’t leaving his safety to anyone else.

  Fuck that shit.

  I reached into my fire suit and produced a pocket knife with a sharpened blade. The harness gave way to my blade, and despite my trembling hands, I cut through the restraint in seconds.

  Arrow shoved it all off and started to hoist himself out the window. Impatient and half out of my mind, I practically climbed in the window, grabbed him beneath the shoulders, and hauled him out myself.

  Before his feet even hit the pavement, I yelled. “Fire! Move!”

  He started to scramble up to run, but I dragged him back, half carrying him from the wreck.

  “Hopper!” Arrow demanded, but I kept going, kept dragging him. “Hopp!” he yelled again. “I’m okay. We’re safe!”

  I glanced up, realizing we were out on the grass, away from the fire, the crash, and all the danger. I gasped in relief and nearly stumbled. Arrow caught me and righted us both. I was wheezing again, my vision foggy and my heart about to burst from my chest.

  “Hey,” he said. I knew he spoke softly, but because our headsets were still on, his voice was right in my ear. “I’m okay.
You’re okay. Everything’s okay.”

  A choked sound ripped from my throat, and the urge to barf right the fuck there was so strong I gagged. Arrow made a sound and ripped off the helmet he was wearing, then his gloves.

  “You almost fucking died,” I rasped. “I can’t go through that again.”

  “Hopp.” Arrow spoke firmly, the voice of reason amid the fucking meltdown inside me. His palms surrounded my face, pulling my gaze up so I could focus on his face.

  He was sweaty and red, but he was whole and unhurt. A sob broke out of my chest.

  “I’m right here,” he said. “You helped get me out of the car. I’m safe.”

  I heard his words. I tried to digest them. God, I fucking tried. I was spiraling. I was splintering… I was getting lost again.

  He shook me gently but hard enough to snap my attention back to his face.

  “I love you, Hopp. Stay here. Stay here with me.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you.”

  Just like that, my world came rushing back. His face came into focus, and his words…

  They saved me.

  I lunged forward and kissed him hard and deep. He still held my face, but it turned more into a cradle. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my hands against his upper back. I kissed him like he was oxygen, like he was the last meal I’d ever have. I kissed him not with just my lips and tongue, but with my heart and soul.

  He loved me.

  I pulled back just barely. His hands tightened on my face. “I love you,” I said, then fused our lips together once more.

  He groaned and wrapped both arms around my shoulders, holding me so tight it almost hurt. Goddamn, I reveled in his strength, in his touch, in the feel of his heart hammering against my chest.

  He was alive. He was here. He was mine.

  “Arrow!” someone yelled.

  I clutched at him. He drew back slowly but kept my body close. I dropped my face into his shoulder because there was so much going on inside me I was afraid to look up.

  “I’m okay,” Arrow said over my head. “Just got caught in the pileup.”

  “You’re not hurt at all?” It was Lorhaven. He’d come out here, too. Of course he would. He loved Arrow, too.

  But not as much as me.