‘He’s bloody obsessed with “his team” and “safety”,’ I grouched, adding emphasis with curly bunny fingers.
Sandeep gave a maybe yes, maybe no gesture with his head. ‘He has his reasons.’
There was something in his voice that made me forget my ire for a moment and turn to face him. He nodded at me. ‘It’s the right thing to do. Hunter will take you. I’ve arranged for a car from the hotel to collect us.’
‘I can find my own way.’
‘I know you can, but I’d rather you weren’t driving until we get the OK from the doc.’
I blew out a sigh. ‘And I don’t suppose a taxi is an option either, is it?’
Sandy grinned. ‘Nope.’
‘I should have known,’ I replied, resigned. ‘All boys together.’
Sandeep laughed, squeezed my shoulders and gave me a kiss on the cheek. ‘But, of course.’
‘What about the photos he’s supposed to take of you two here?’
‘It’s all good. We’ve rearranged to do it tomorrow now anyway.’
‘Oh God!’ I sank down onto a rock, its surface warm from the California sun. ‘Now I’ve screwed up the schedule too!’
‘Not at all. Now go on. Doctor Dexter is waiting to meet you both at the clinic.’
I gave Sandy and Liv a sideways look. ‘His name is Dexter? Well, that’s reassuring.’
Sandeep grinned. ‘It’s all right. I’ve told him you’re a goodie.’
‘I appreciate that.’
Liv stepped forward from where she’d been standing with her arm linked through her fiancé’s and wrapped me in a huge hug, the strength of which belied her slight frame.
‘Call us as soon as you’re done, won’t you?’ She pulled back, and pushed some strands of hair from my face.
‘I will. I promise. And I really am so sorry about all of this.’
‘Don’t be silly! These things happen. I just wish one of you had told us when it happened.’ She caught Hunter in her accusatory glance and I did my best to let it go. I was already livid with him. What did it matter to me if Olivia was cross with him too? But I couldn’t do it.
‘It’s not his fault,’ I began, catching the look of surprise on Hunter’s face as I defended him. ‘I swore him to silence about it. Although, obviously, I wasn’t quite clear enough about the fact that silence didn’t have an expiry date.’ To the side of me, I saw Hunter turn his head and look away.
A few minutes later we were in the car, pulling out onto the main highway and even the sharpest of knives would have had trouble getting through the atmosphere inside the vehicle. I put the address into the satnav and then sat back, my eyes shielded from the sun, and from Hunter, by my Holly Golightly-style oversized sunglasses.
‘Are we going to drive the whole way in silence?’ Hunter asked, eventually.
‘I’d prefer to,’ I replied, ‘unless there’s something you specifically want to talk about.’
He watched a stream of brake lights heading our way, took a deep breath then let it slowly out. ‘Nope. Not specifically.’
I turned back to the side window, rested my head against it and closed my eyes.
‘Hi. You must be Mia?’ Doctor Wade Dexter was blond, tall and good-looking with a welcoming smile and an open manner that went some way to helping the fact that I was, by now, a mass of knots, both physically and mentally. My neck felt so stiff from tension I was surprised I could move my head at all.
‘Hello. Thank you for seeing me.’
‘My pleasure. And you must be Hunter?’ He shook hands with us both before leading us through to a private consultation room.
‘OK, Mia.’ Doctor Dexter sat back in the chair he’d taken after examining me. He seemed relaxed, which was good and helped me enormously. I knew all this had just been Hunter’s paranoia and whatever other issues he had that Sandeep had alluded to. ‘It’s good news that you feel the bump is smaller than it was.’
I nodded, smiling.
‘But I would still like to do a CT scan before you go. Just to make doubly sure.’
I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
‘You’re still concerned?’ Hunter voiced the thought I didn’t want to.
‘I’d just rather make sure for certain there’s nothing going on. Rocks don’t generally have a lot of give in them and it’s still quite a bump Mia has on her head. I’d just be happier if we were entirely thorough.’
Hunter nodded. ‘Of course.’
‘OK.’ The doctor patted my forearm quickly. ‘Let me just go and arrange things and I’ll be back. Hopefully we won’t keep you too long.’
‘Thank you,’ I replied automatically, still processing.
The door clicked closed behind him and the room was silent. After a moment, Hunter stood and walked behind me over to the window. I heard the blind slats move as I imagined him poking his fingers in to peer through to the outside.
‘You can wait outside if you want,’ I said.
He came back to the chair and sat. ‘No. I’m good here.’
‘I can get a cab back.’
He turned his head. ‘Mia. I said I’m good.’ His voice was soft now. He paused. ‘Are you?’
‘Yep,’ I replied, not meeting his eyes. ‘Absolutely fine. I still think everyone’s making a fuss over nothing. I’m sure if Doctor Dexter weren’t friends with Sandeep, I wouldn’t be having to go for a scan. Obviously he wants to show he’s doing everything, even if it’s not necessary.’ I shrugged. ‘I can understand that. I’d probably do the same in his position.’
‘Doctor’s aren’t in the habit of doing unnecessary procedures.’
‘Hunter. This is America and it’s private. It’s an industry.’
Hunter gave me a smile but there was no humour in it. ‘I didn’t think it was possible for you to get any more cynical. You’re always a surprise. I give you that.’
‘I’m not being cynical!’
‘Of course you are! Do you even hear yourself? You just said the guy is Sandy’s friend. Do you think he’d be charging his mate for a CT scan if he didn’t think it was necessary?’
‘It’s on insurance.’
Hunter shook his head. ‘I don’t think this is under insurance, Mia. You don’t generally get seen within an hour on insurance.’
I looked up at him, absorbing what he was saying.
‘They were really worried about you.’
‘Thanks to you!’ I said, getting up and pacing around the room. ‘So now, not only have I screwed up the schedule and worried them both, I’ve also cost them a bunch of money! Oh God! How much is one of these scans?’
Hunter shook his head. ‘No idea.’
I narrowed my eyes at him. ‘I don’t believe you.’
Hunter stood and caught my arm to stop me pacing. ‘It doesn’t matter how much it is. You’re more valuable.’
‘Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who’s going to have to pay it back!’
‘And neither are you! Sandeep wouldn’t let you even if you tried!’
‘I could give it to one of their charities. They wouldn’t be able to refuse then.’
He held my gaze and the fire in his eyes softened as he looked at me. ‘You really are impossible.’
‘You say that a lot.’
‘I mean it a lot.’
The door behind us opened and Doctor Dexter re-entered, along with a nurse. We were soon on our way across the clinic to the imaging suite. Hunter was shown to the waiting area and I was taken through to a private dressing area where the nurse then instructed me to change into a gown, ensuring I removed anything metal, adding that she’d be back in a few minutes to collect me.
I did as she said, tucking my jewellery into my trainer and putting on the gown. Then I filled out the assessment and permission form ready to hand over. Once I was done, I sat in the little room and waited. A hum of machinery could be heard but all else was silence. Gingerly I touched the bump on my head. And then, without warning, everything caught u
p. The pretending, the pain, the headaches, the fighting with Hunter about it all and the fact that, despite what I’d said to him about being fine, I really wasn’t. I’d genuinely expected the doctor to send me home with an all clear, and maybe some painkillers. Further investigation had never even registered. And I knew Hunter was right – he wasn’t doing it just for something to do. He had a reason and now, in the quiet, away from the need to put on a front for anyone, it frightened me. My eyes burned and I swiped at my cheek with the back of my hand as the tears began to escape. I cursed myself but I couldn’t stop them and I wasn’t sure why.
‘Mia?’ The nurse’s sing-song southern-accented voice came through the door.
‘Yes. All ready,’ I replied, quickly blowing my nose and running my fingers under my eyes to try and tidy up any make-up that had run and disguise the fact that I’d had a bit of a blub.
The door opened and I immediately got the idea that my countermeasures hadn’t worked.
‘Oh honey!’ she began after taking one look at me. ‘It’s OK.’
Oh God. Please don’t be nice to me. You’ll set me off again!
‘Ummhmm!’ I said, smiling and using every bit of willpower I had to keep the rest of the threatening tears in check.
She gave a little squeeze to my hand as she took the form from me. ‘You ready?’
I nodded. Safer.
‘OK then.’ She opened the door and we crossed the corridor that separated the changing area from the scan rooms.
As we did, I caught a movement to my right. Turning, I saw Hunter stop mid pace as he saw me. The look on his face was confirmation that my attempts at hiding the tear stains had been fruitless. He took a step towards me but I shook my head and he halted, the expression on his face slicing through me. I knew he wanted to be there for me and I really did appreciate it. It was his thing. His duty, as he saw it, to take care of those he was working with. But I couldn’t accept that care. Especially not at this moment. Because I was worried that if I took it then, I might want it all over again and never want it to stop. And I couldn’t risk that. His blue-eyed gaze hardened a little and he took a step back, his silence an understanding of sorts. But I knew deep down that, really, he didn’t understand at all.
Chapter Sixteen
We were back in the original consulting room, waiting for the doctor to return with the results of the scan. Hunter hadn’t said anything, and neither had I. I imagined his silence was because he was pissed at me, but mine was mostly down to nerves, nausea and exhaustion. Right now, I’d have happily crawled into bed and not emerged for at least a week.
‘Hey!’ the doc called cheerily as he came back in. I hoped this was a positive sign and not just false optimism. ‘So, good news. The scan was all clear.’
Beside me, Hunter let out a breath.
There’s no obvious damage from the accident,’ Doctor Dexter continued, ‘It looks like you probably just took a good whack. The bruise is going down but I would definitely recommend you taking it easy for a few days.’
‘So no, say, bungee jumping?’ Hunter slid his eyes to me, and I tilted my head in exasperation.
‘Frankly, I’d never recommend doing that, but I’d definitely be advising Mia to avoid anything like that right now.’
I smiled. ‘Point taken.’
He smiled back. ‘I’m sorry if I scared you by insisting on a scan. Bumps on the head can be tricky. Sometimes people can look and feel fine but underneath there’s something not great happening. I just wanted to make sure that wasn’t the case here.’
‘Thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to see me at such short notice. I’m sorry to have wasted your time.’
‘Believe me! This is the sort of result I like the most. It’s definitely not a waste of my time. Making sure someone’s safe and healthy is never a waste of anyone’s time. Sandeep has already been in touch, asking how things are going. I haven’t replied yet, as obviously I wanted to wait for your permission, but if you’re happy, I can call him back and fill him in.’
I agreed, happy for him to do so. If I knew Liv, she’d take it more seriously from the doctor than she would from me now she knew I’d already hid the initial incident from her, so it was probably for the best.
We all shook hands again and he walked us out. The sun was lower now but still bright and I pulled my sunglasses out of my tote bag and put them on as we got back into the car.
Traffic was heavy, as it always seemed to be in and around this entire city, and we rode along for a while, the only sound a local radio station playing quietly in the background. Hunter pulled to a stop again as a snake of brake lights lit up in a trail in front of us.
‘You OK?’ The deep, soft, accented voice broke into my thoughts.
‘Yes. Thanks.’ I shifted in the seat, trying to wake up my backside, which was threatening to go to sleep.
His long, tanned fingers flexed on the wheel and I knew he wasn’t finished.
‘It’s just that… earlier. Well, you didn’t look OK. And I’d like to help. If I can.’
‘Hunter. I’m OK. Earlier I just had a moment. Everyone was deciding things for me. I’m not used to that, and I don’t like it, and for a moment I got a little overwhelmed. But it was just for a moment. And I’m fine now. The doctor said so, so everyone can just relax. Like I said before, it’s all a big fuss over nothing.’
‘Jesus! You are un-fucking-believable sometimes, you know that?’ Hunter exploded, yanking on the handbrake with a crunch of ratchets that set my teeth on edge.
‘Excuse me?’
‘You heard me. What the hell is wrong with you?’
‘There’s nothing wrong with me!’
‘Then why the hell won’t you let your past go and finally start believing that some people are just nice. That sometimes people do things for others for the pure and simple reason that they like them and care about them, and they don’t expect anything in return for it?’
‘It’s nothing to do with my past, Hunter. Don’t go trying to psychoanalyse me!’
‘It’s got everything to do with your past, Mia. And you damn well know it. It’s about time you realised that and dealt with it!’
‘Oh! Like you’re dealing so well with whatever happened in your past?’ I bit back at him, yanking off the sunglasses as I did so.
He tilted his head up sharply and I saw him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his hands flexed and gripped the steering wheel in the stationary traffic.
‘We’re not talking about me, Mia.’
‘That’s convenient.’
‘We’re talking about you.’
‘Well, I don’t want to talk about me, thank you very much.’ My hand reached for the volume on the radio but Hunter was quicker and he turned it off.
‘Too bad, because you need to hear some things.’
‘And I suppose you’re the one to tell me.’
‘I suppose I am!’
‘Great. I can hardly wait.’
‘For fuck’s sake! You keep doing this, Mia? If you keep up with this obsession you’ve developed about doing everything for yourself, proving to everyone that you can be everything you need with no help from anyone else and pushing away people when they’re trying to offer kindness, or compassion, or simple honest-to-goodness help, then eventually people will stop offering. They’ll stop caring and this wish you have to do everything for yourself, and by yourself, is exactly what you’re going to get. For ever. Is that really what you want?’
His voice had risen and anger thickened his accent as his words bounced around me. For once, I didn’t have a reply to throw back as I looked into his eyes and saw the frustration boiling there.
Hunter turned his head and ran a hand over his hair, taking a couple of deep breaths as he did so. The other hand was back resting on the wheel but the muscles in it were tight and knotted and I kind of knew how they felt.
‘Look. I know you had a tough time when you were young. What your father did to you and your
mum was a shitty thing to do. But you’re not that little girl any more. And not everyone is like your father. You always assume everyone is going to let you down so you push them away rather than run the risk of being proved wrong, and keep on with this insane plan of insisting on proving yourself to everyone all of the time. Mia. He didn’t leave because of anything you did, or didn’t do. You don’t need to keep doing this.’
‘I never thought it was because of something I did. Or my mother did! So you can keep your amateur analysis to yourself. I know the only reason my father left is because he found something he thought was better. A newer, younger model of my mother without the encumbrance of a young child. His secretary! I mean, God, what a bloody cliché! He couldn’t even be original about it! That, eventually, I might have forgiven him for. Maybe. But the way he stripped my mother of any assets? The way he humiliated a woman who had never done anything but put his happiness, his career, his home above all else? The way he turned her love and adoration into anger and bitterness? That is what I could never forgive. And I never will. There was no excuse for that. He had plenty of money and he took my mother’s too, spinning some line about taking care of it all for her when all he was really doing was transferring it into his name so that, in the end, she had nothing. And you want to talk to me about trust?’
Hunter glanced out of the windscreen. The brake lights were off and some people were now out of their cars, trying to work out what was causing the worse-than-usual traffic.
‘You really need to let this go, Mia. It’s going to ruin your life!’
‘So, breaking up with you ruined my life? How very modest of you! It clearly didn’t ruin yours, though. Looks like you did exactly the right thing, leaving when you did, if your career and sex life are anything to go by!’
‘Stop twisting things. I never said that and you know the only reason I left is because you were adamant we couldn’t make it work. I wanted to try but you didn’t. I left because you gave me no choice, so don’t you dare put that on me!’
‘I’m not putting anything on you! We couldn’t make it work because, as much as you say not everyone is like my father, you wanted to put me in exactly the same situation as he had my mother!’
The Christmas Holiday Page 16
