by Lacey Silks
Beth waited patiently until I continued.
“Two years after she ran away, I got a phone call. She wanted to make amends. She wanted to be back with her family, and said she was coming back home with big news. She sounded deliriously happy.” I remembered her joy when we spoke on the phone. “I picked her up at the train station. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face when she saw me. She hugged me so tightly, for a moment I thought she’d come to say goodbye. Maybe somewhere deep inside, she knew it would be our last embrace. I was the one driving us home. She talked about her new life in New York. How she’d met a wonderful man and had a huge surprise for me—for the entire family, in fact. It was early December, and the weather had turned for the worse. We were driving up the mountains. I lost control on the icy road and swerved on instinct. The car spun, and we rolled down a hill into a river.”
I looked up at Beth. Her eyes glistened over and tears spilled when she blinked.
“I… I saw her side of the car submerge under water before I lost consciousness,” I choked. “She died in the hospital. There was too much trauma to her body and her brain. My heart was failing me as well. I had a myocardial infarction from the accident; an artery was blocked, and there wasn’t enough blood supply. The heart muscle was dying. I don’t remember any of this, but I was lucky enough to get a donor.”
Beth clasped her hand over her mouth, and she kept shaking her head. The story was emotional, but I hadn’t expected her to be affected this much.
“At the hospital, they wouldn’t let me see Chloe. They kept me sedated for almost a month so that I could heal. They didn’t tell me that she’d died until the doctor cleared me. I never even got a chance to say goodbye because they didn’t even have an official funeral for her. I mean, who doesn’t do a funeral? How could they? And that’s when I realized that they blamed me for her death. It was all my fault. I was behind the wheel and swerved, and…”
Beth got up and off her chair and took me into her arms. “It wasn’t your fault. You got a second chance, Trish.”
“But, my sister…”
“Your sister was a wonderful person who didn’t get a chance to grow up to be as strong of a woman as you are. You’re getting the chance she didn’t. You’re getting the life that she didn’t. Don’t overthink it. Don’t ruin it. Cherish it, and make her proud. She’s looking out for you from the heavens, I’m certain of that. She led you to us, and now I’m more certain than ever that you were meant to be part of our family.”
“You’re so sure.”
“It comes with age, darling. One day you’ll learn that everything happens for a reason. You’re here because of Chloe.”
Beth lowered her hand to my chest, where the scar was, and with her eyes closed, held it there as the beating of my heart pulsed through her hand. She then took me by my shoulders, steadied me, and looked into my eyes.
“Trish, I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to tell Axel everything.”
Concern shadowed her face. Did she not understand that if I did, there was a possibility that Axel would hate me?
“He won’t understand. I was different,” I whispered.
“It’s your past.” She paused. “Axel has a past as well. We all do. But you need to tell him what you just told me. Please, promise me you will. It’s important for both of you.”
What if I forgot about it? What if I never mentioned it to anyone again? Would the pain go away? Could I bury the past behind me, where it belonged, and stop dragging it with me my entire life? But then I’d break Beth’s heart, and I couldn’t take any more heartbreaks.
“I will. I promise.”
I felt exhausted. From Brad’s kidnapping to saving Ace and Julia and now pouring my soul out to Beth, I felt like the last ounce of energy had been drained from my body.
“I never knew you could miss someone with your whole heart. I wish she were here. You would have loved her. She was such a talented designer, and when she talked, her hands flew everywhere. Sometimes we joked that she should have learned sign language.”
Beth hugged me again, kissing the top of my head the way my mother would have.
“It’s important to remember her like that, sweetheart. Happy. It’s what she would have wanted. You’re tired. Come, I’ll draw you a bath then you go to bed.”
“Thank you, Beth. For everything.”
Once I was submerged under water, resting in the tub, I washed the stress off me. It didn’t take long before I was in bed, cocooned underneath the covers, lost to darkness and a dreamless night.
Chapter 12
The embrace of strong arms circling my body from behind woke me. At first I thought it was a dream and I didn’t want to wake up, but I didn’t remember having any dreams. I wanted the warmth seeping into my body to be real, and I was afraid if I opened my eyes, he wouldn’t be here.
“Trish?”
It was real.
I smiled, stretching over the bed, the aches and pains of last night’s ordeal reminding me how close I’d come to never having the luxury of waking up in the morning again. I twisted around to face Axel.
“You’re here.”
“I took the first flight back. Ace called me from the hospital. I’m so sorry for what he did. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, baby.”
I reached out to touch his face. My hands trembled and my bruised body pulsed in a pattern of aches from last night’s terror.
“It’s okay. I mean, I wasn’t exactly planning on getting kidnapped.”
“I should have been here. I’m never leaving you again.”
I laughed. “Not even if you have to travel for business?”
“I’d rather lose the business.”
“I’d never let you do that,” I whispered. “Brad will be behind bars for a while. There’s nothing else to worry about right now.”
“It doesn’t matter… if I lost you.” He smoothed his fingers over my cheek and I flinched, remembering how Brad had smacked me.
“Jesus, what did he do to you?”
“It’s nothing. Really.”
Axel reached to the night stand and flicked on the light. That’s when I noticed that it was night time. The alarm clock showed that it was after midnight. I’d slept for twelve hours already, yet my body felt like it could soak in another twelve hours of sleep. I wasn’t too sure how I looked, but from the pain that was coursing through my body, my skin must have been colored with bruises. Axel examined my arms and legs, shaking his head. He lifted my t-shirt to look at my chest. I saw him twitch and grow underneath his boxer-briefs.
“Axel, I’m okay.”
“You were hurt. Maybe we should go back to the hospital. Are you sure they checked you over well?”
“I don’t think they were as thorough as you, but yeah, I’m fine. All I need right now is you.” I reached for him, curling my palm behind his neck and bringing his mouth to mine. His lips were hesitant and soft. The careful strokes of his tongue weren’t enough for what I needed right now. I needed him to help me forget, but Axel kept his distance. I scooted closer, reaching for his hand, lowering it to my skimpy panties. He cupped my sex, but didn’t do anything wild that I knew his fingers were capable of. I finally pulled away and watched his eyes scan me all over again.
“Axel, I need you. Do I really look that bad?” I asked as he stared at me.
“Well, a little. Nothing that time and a little TLC won’t cure. I… I don’t want to hurt you, but I missed you so much.” He lowered his mouth to mine, kissing me gently again, but with less caution than before. I sucked in my breath, then his, wanting to fill myself with his strength and essence. My head spun and a whimper escaped my mouth. He swallowed, sealing his lips over mine, shifting to move over my body, supporting himself on his arms. Axel pushed his hips into my pubic bone, and I rubbed myself against him.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered into my mouth, leaning his forehead against mine.
“You won’t. Please.”
“Take these off.” He lowered his hand to my hip on one side. I took a hold of the other side and removed my panties so quickly, I could have played the role of Superwoman with my eyes closed.
His hand grazed over my sex. “You’re ready.”
“Yes,” I panted.
I was beyond ready. I was afraid that I’d explode the moment he entered me, and it would be all over. The world was spinning around me as Axel blessed my body with his tender kisses, grazing his lips over each bruise and cut decorating my body. Once above my chest, he locked his lips around my nipple, pulling it gently, squeezing it in a way that forced my lower back off the bed and my hips to buckle against him. He then traced his lips over my scar. It seared with heat and pain followed by something I couldn’t quite understand that pulled me closer to him.
I writhed on the sheets, impatiently lining myself up for him. Instead, he lifted me up until I was straddling his hips and pulled my shirt over my head. His boxer briefs were off and his cock stood rigid between us, pressed against my stomach. We were skin to skin, chest to chest, heart to heart, and breath to breath, sharing heat and soothing touches. It was as if we wanted to connect on a deeper level. I felt him within me. He was the peace underneath my skin that erased my pain and past, coercing me to focus on a possible future.
Axel reached to the night stand for a condom.
“Pill, I’m on the Pill. And I was checked a month ago and I haven’t been with anyone—”
“Trish.” He shut me up with a kiss. “I trust you. And I’m clean as well.”
I nodded and Axel lifted me by my waist, positioning himself at my entrance. I slid over him with ease, feeling his width fill me deeper and deeper until he reached the end. We held each other like that, my arms wrapped around him and his around me, until his hand slid up my bare back to my head. He grasped my hair into a fist and tugged it back, lining up my mouth for another lip lock. That night, the way he kissed me, no other man had. As I rocked my hips over him, sliding up and down, he possessed my mouth with the deepest of yearnings, growling into me, stroking his tongue against my gums, biting my lips, and stealing every breath I needed to live. But with him, I didn’t need to breathe. He was my breath, my soul, and… my everything.
We broke apart, concentrating on the connection of our bodies, holding on tightly. The swell between my legs overpowered all my senses. It made me feel wild and free — like I could be anything and anyone. Except the only person I wanted to be was me. I wanted him to know the old me — the happy me – and that’s when I made the decision to reconnect with my family and make right of the wrong that had been done to both my sister and me.
He thrust inside me, jolting my body awake. I opened my mouth for a desperate breath as his pounding intensified, sending my body higher and higher. I got lost in the moment and in us. The smell of our sweat and excitement filled the air; the slick friction between us along with the sound of our slapping bodies was driving me mad and so close to a release that breathing was almost impossible. I felt no pain from my injuries, only pleasure.
“Axel…” The wanton sound of my whisper hummed in my mind. As soon as I came, shaking in his grip, the fog of guilt and regret that had been guiding me for the past five years was lifted. If I could spend the rest of my life in this man’s arms, I would be the happiest woman alive.
He drove into me once more before stilling. Still connected, we lay down on the bed and breathed in tandem. Silence buzzed in my ears as my breathing calmed. For the first time in five years, my heart was finally happy and satisfied.
He slid out of me and cocooned me into his arms, holding me gently from behind, leaving soothing kisses on my nape and my shoulders.
“I’ve been wanting to do that since our night at the club.”
“You too?” I couldn’t help the sudden cheeky happiness that was overwhelming me. My hands trembled and my voice vibrated when I spoke.
He laughed. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Likewise.”
The room was only illuminated by the faint lamp on the night stand. I stared at the ceiling, my thoughts running back to the promise I’d made to Beth, but just before I got a chance to speak, Axel lifted his body, propping himself up on his elbow. He stared at me from above, scrunching his brows as if he didn’t know how to start talking.
“Trish, Ace told me what you did with that bomb at the clinic,” he finally said.
I froze and looked away.
“How did you know how to do that?”
“I…” Could I tell him? Could I open up to Axel about who I used to be, and why I’d changed? Would he still want me? Beth thought so. And I trusted her.
“I have a master’s degree in mechanical engineering. Before I came to New York, I worked for NASA.”
He crawled over me to the other side so that I faced him. Shock covered his face.
“Who are you, Trish?”
“What do you mean?”
“There are a few people in this world who can become ghosts. I did a background check. There is no Trish Summers anywhere, and I’m pretty sure that if you worked for NASA, there would be evidence of that.”
“You had no right.”
“I have a son, and you’re a woman I’m very attracted to. I check anyone who could potentially spend time with Trevor.”
“Look, my past is my past. There’s a reason I don’t talk about it.”
This conversation was going nothing like the way I’d envisioned.
He growled in frustration. “What’s it gonna take for you to trust me, Trish? I want to be in your life. I want you to be in our lives. I need to be able to tell you my deepest secrets, hopes, and dreams.”
“Why me?”
“What do you mean why? That’s how relationships work. I don’t want to just share your bed. I want all of you. Everything that’s in here” – he pointed to my head, then lowered his hand to my chest – “and here. Everything that belongs to this beautiful body of yours. I know that deep inside, you’re a good person. You don’t have to hide from me. Please don’t. Whatever mistakes you think you made are in the past.”
I sighed. “I will tell you, I promise, but not yet.”
“When?”
“I have to go back home first. I need to make it right with my parents before anything else.”
“What’s wrong with your parents?”
“I left without saying a word. My mom’s called me, but I barely answer with a word or two.”
“Why?”
I shook my head. “I remind her of something I don’t want to. I am her pain. I’m that thorn permanently stuck in her heart, and the problem is that I’m not even sure I can remove it. My worst fear is that I may be too late.”
“Baby, it’s never too late. When do you want us to go?”
“Not us, Axel. Me.”
“Are you ashamed to introduce me to your parents?”
I wasn’t. I was more ashamed of my actions than anyone else’s.
“I’m not. I’m just… It’s been so long.”
That look of pain in his eyes made me wonder whether I was making the right decision. Wouldn’t it be better to have him at my side? What if my parents rejected me? I doubted it, but what if the reunion didn’t turn out as I imagined, the way this conversation had?
“Okay. If you’d like, you can come with me.”
“Really?” He perked up.
“Yeah, really. And Trevor as well. If that’s okay with you.”
“Are you kidding me? We’re like ham and eggs. Can’t have one without the other. Of course it’s okay with me.”
“So maybe next weekend?”
He reached for his phone and scrolled through the calendar.
“Sounds perfect. Wait, what if they don’t like me?”
“That’s impossible, Axel. I’m sure they’ll love you. And if they don’t, you have Trevor to lean on. That boy is irresistible. And you have me as well. All of me.”
“Hey.” He grabbed me and rolled me over so
that I rested on top of his naked body. I leaned my head on his shoulder and slid down to the side. He traced the scar running down my chest with his finger. It always felt so sensitive when he did that.
“You’re a natural father, and you’re great with Trevor.”
“Thank you. It may seem like it on the outside, but it’s not easy.”
“I didn’t think it would be. Do you ever think of adding a sister or a brother for Trevor?”
I wasn’t sure where the question had come from, but when I pictured Trevor and Axel as a family, I couldn’t see just the two of them. I saw a household full of little Axels running around barefoot.
“I do. Are you suggesting something?
What?
“No, I mean, it was just a question.”
“I’m teasing, Trish. When the time is right and with the right person, yes. I mean, I have four brothers and a sister, so I’d love for Trevor to have a big family as well.”
I yawned.
“You’re tired.” He leaned lower and kissed my forehead.
I pressed my head to the pillow as Axel drew the covers over me. “It was a long night.”
“Rest, baby.”
“Axel? Will you stay with me?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Trish.” His breath sailed over my skin. I closed my eyes and fell into deep sleep on his command.
Chapter 13
We sat on a stone ledge in the park, watching Trevor play with another boy. They each took turns roaring like dinosaurs before Trevor removed the raptor claw I gave him from his backpack full of toys. The kids’ eyes grew wide as Trevor began telling him everything he knew about velociraptors. Seeing him interact from the distance, his hands motioning up and down like that, pointing to each limb on the dinosaur, running his fingers along the sand to show how quickly they moved and fought made me gasp.
