by Kamisa Cole
Gage poked my chest, stepping in so close our noses nearly touched. “My team. My responsibility,” he repeated. “If he wants to be around nothing but horny guys, I think you should let him. And he seems fine.” He nodded over my shoulder and I turned, finding Alec standing in the middle of his new colleagues, glowing, even with the bruises on his face.
I closed my eyes. “Fine, but if I catch him drinking because one of your guys gave him alcohol even though he’s not old enough for that, I’ll call the cops on you myself.” Before Gage could usher any threat or keep this pissing contest up, I left him standing behind the bar, nodding for Savage to follow me. I didn’t stop until I was out of the door, knowing there was nothing left of Alec at my apartment.
Sav’s wide shoulders appeared in my line of vision and I stopped just before I ran into him. “You look as if you could use some sparring. Feel like hitting the gym?” he asked, pointing over his shoulder at his SUV.
“Yes, I definitely feel like pounding the shit out of something,” I admitted and wished I had my car because I my gym clothes were in there. However, I’d left that at home because I’d wanted to walk the twenty minutes rather than having Alec in my car for any time at all.
God, this morning had been hard enough, his hair disheveled, his voice raspy from sleep. I’d nearly pinned him to the wall the moment he’d entered the kitchen.
“I have a feeling it’s not Gage you’re pissed at. You took his insults in your stride.”
I nodded and then sighed. “Gotta get my car. And yes, I can deal with his words because I’d be the same if I were in his shoes. I’d hate everyone new. I just hope he won’t take it out on all of you. None of you deserve it.”
He nudged me. “And neither do you. Meet you at the gym?”
“Sure.” I hurried my steps along because the gym was exactly what I wanted and needed. It didn’t matter that Sav didn’t deserve my harshness, I knew he’d be able to take it.
Hell, I didn’t even know why I was so furious. There were twelve years between Alec and me, and he clearly was all about the pretty boys, but…
I wished we lived in a world where being gay wasn’t still frowned upon, or loving someone much younger, or, god forbid, being gay and loving someone much younger. What was even more worrisome was that I usually didn’t get this obsessed with guys.
I unlocked the front door to my apartment and swore I could still catch his scent in the air. I rubbed my palms across my face, groaning.
I firmly believed that you didn’t fall in love, that you weren’t destined for someone out there. I was adopted and that had taught me early on that fate didn’t exist. After all, my birth mother had gotten pregnant, had been destined to carry me, and she’d decided I wasn’t worthy of her love.
My adoptive parents, those who had chosen me, still hadn’t loved me the way parents should, but they had taught me some things about love. It was the reason why I believed that loving someone was a choice. It wasn’t that you woke up one morning and had given your heart away.
That most likely had caused me to be with guys, but never really regret them leaving. While some of them had been great guys and fun, I’d never wanted to give my heart to them. After all, love was a choice, and the way I saw it was that it was a mutual one.
“Yeah, like you can agree on loving each other and bam, feelings.”
I still heard Savage’s sarcasm in my head every time I thought about love. That usually brought me back to reality.
It did at that moment. While I was willing to watch out for Alec—and that wouldn’t stop just because Gage said so—I wanted him to be happy and I knew he could be.
I’d watched Gage’s crew during the meal, and most of them were as close as family. I could feel the trust and companionship between all of them. It was easy becoming that way in a community that mostly relied on itself for support, meeting too much judgment out in the world, fighting for their rights at every corner. The world was progressing, no doubt, but we weren’t there yet.
Every gay man who’d ever been spit on knew better; every lesbian who had ever been harassed, every bi person who’d been told to decide on one side.
We all knew better.
And that was what made Gage and his bar so extraordinary. If I wanted Alec to be happy, he was probably in the best environment for that to happen.
Didn’t change the fact that I had a feeling someone was going to lay a claim on him soon, because those guys at the bar? They seemed like a group of guys who’d enjoy no strings and serious relationships equally.
I didn’t know what Alec was looking for. Maybe his mind was set on experimenting as much as possible, on enjoying his youth, and I couldn’t blame him.
What I could do was keep an eye on him no matter what, just to make sure Baby Boy wouldn’t end up with more bruises, because nothing recovered as slowly as a hurt heart.
KASH
The air was clear and cold as my headset crackled to life. “Didn’t think Thursday nights would be so busy,” Savage complained, and I smiled to myself.
We’d been at this gig for three weeks now, and while Gage and I got along as well as ever, the rest of the team had made friends among Gage’s people.
“Well, I guess you could call it Friday Junior and that causes people to come here. Just let me know if you can’t handle it alone anymore.”
I heard Sav’s snort even over the thumping bass. “I can easily handle it.”
“Good, then how about you do your job and talk to me off the clock? Unless you feel lonely…” I teased, and he chuckled, then stayed quiet.
Dan was walking up and down the line of customers waiting to enter but until Gage gave us the okay to let more people in, they wouldn’t move.
“Wanna know why it’s full?”
I was startled by the voice coming from my right and found Nash watching me. “Sure.” It was weird, he’d never tried to talk to me before and I wasn’t exactly keen on talking to him either.
“Thursdays we have that afterwork party thing. It’s not official, but each week Gage posts a code word hidden on the website, and whoever finds it gets fifty percent off of all drinks. It’s technically a mixed night, but… For some reason the straight, curious guys show up today more than they do any other day. We see them watching the dancing guys, and sometimes they make a move… It’s why Thursdays are busier.”
I did my best to not grit my teeth. “That would have been important information to know from the start because then I could have made sure Nyra or Leon are prepped for a call. At least now I know why I have backup on standby already.”
Nash chuckled. “You have your counter, Kash, you know how many people are allowed in, and Gage knows how much we can handle. Anyway… I came to tell you… Gage can be an ass to you all he wants but it’s not your fault you’re here now, so… If you ever want to grab a beer while I’m on shift, and you aren’t, sit in my area.”
He gave me a nod and then started for the corner of the building, most likely to slip back into the side entrance, but I caught up with him. “Is Nash short for something?” I didn’t know why I was curious about that, and he blinked, taken aback, then cleared his throat.
“Well, my mom said it was supposed to be Ash, but because the nurse who wrote my name had the worst handwriting ever, my birth certificate said Nash and my mom liked it, so it stuck. I guess whoever transferred my name didn’t care how weird Nash sounded. I actually like it. And yours?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know why it’s Kash. My adoptive parents got the birth certificate with that name on it, and decided to keep it, like I’m an inheritance. I could’ve passed on it, but… You know…”
He cocked his head. “Adoptive parents? You come from the system?”
I shook my head, glancing over my shoulder, but at the door everything seemed okay, and Dan nodded his agreement as if he’d heard my mental assessment. Focusing back on Nash, I stated, “I was adopted when I was three days old. And before you ask, I’ve never care
d about finding my biological parents. They didn’t want me, why should I want them?” Damn, even at thirty-one that sentence still made me sound like a bratty teen. “I couldn’t care less, I have amazing parents,” I amended, having told that lie often enough to make it believable.
Nash took a deep breath. I knew for a fact that he had been born the same year I had, so we were the same age, and yet I felt so much older. He seemed young, carefree, happy, and I…didn’t.
“I’d still want to know. I mean, I know exactly where I have my awesome taste in music from, and my taste in bad clothes. My parents have supported me all my life, put me before everything else, and when I realized at fourteen that I was gay, they sat me down and talked to me about practicing safe sex and about the fact that not everyone considered a gay man a normal man. They are the foundation of who I am, Kash, and you… Ah, you know, I should get back inside. I’m sorry about this. I’m…”
“…clearly much more a rambler than I could ever be.” I grinned, hoping to put him at ease and it worked.
“That. Again, offer stands. First beer is on me.”
Funnily enough, when he offered I couldn’t help but think that maybe one day I’d do that, sit down at the bar and just enjoy a cold beer.
“Everything okay, boss?” Dan asked as I joined him. I was glad we worked outside. Gage had a special uniform for the people working the bar and the floor, and I wasn’t exactly a fan of red button downs and black vests—unless the vests were Kevlar.
“‘Course. Nash just wanted to extend an olive branch. And you, are you okay?”
When Dan glanced at me in surprise, I realized I’d never asked that before. Yes, I talked to my team when we were on the job, but I just assumed they were okay or would open their mouths if they weren’t. We were all grown ass men, and if you couldn’t speak up when you needed it, you most likely missed some part of growing up.
“I am… I mean… I… What?” Dan stuttered and my cheeks heated.
Licking my lips, I tried to explain why I’d asked. “Gage’s team is Gage’s team.”
Dan chuckled. “Really making sense there, boss.”
I tried again. “Gage’s team is his family, and I think… He’s onto something. Especially because I know Shay and Nyra are thousands of miles away from theirs, and you…”
His expression instantly hardened. “Yeah, not going there, boss.” Before I could say something in reply a commotion broke out at the end of the line. I stepped forward, trying to see what was going on, and rolled my eyes when I saw it was just some punks trying to jump the line.
The emotional talk was over and it was back to work.
Thankfully, because I had to admit that this was unchartered territory for me.
ALEC
“The club is full. Why are we bored?” I asked for the hundredth time and Cam rolled his eyes.
We’d become close over the last three weeks. It helped that we worked together all the time and also lived together. I’d bought clothes from my first paycheck, being glad it was a weekly thing and not bi-weekly or worse, like monthly. The bruises had faded, the injuries had healed, and while Nina had tried to call me, I hadn’t wanted to talk to her.
I hadn’t picked up when my father had called either, and I wasn’t sure I ever would.
I saw Kash every day when we had a team brunch before the bar opened, and each day he sat as far away from me as possible. Cam kept teasing me about how much I was crushing on the head of security, but I couldn’t help it.
I still remembered too well how soft his hands had been on me; how he’d been trembling when touching my skin because he was afraid he’d hurt me.
I wanted him to touch me and make sure he left marks—the right kind, the kind you got when passion took you over and the brain short-circuited.
“We’re bored because the people don’t come for food on Thursdays.”
I hopped on the counter and reached for my cell to play a game, but Cam’s next words made me lower it. “You could go out and dance a little. If it gets really busy I’ll have Kim get you,” he offered.
“Minor, remember.” I stated, even though I wanted to dance. Hell, I’d longed to ever since I’d started here because we heard the bass thumping, but as much as I wanted to join, I didn’t dare to.
Cam chuckled. “You can dance, you just can’t drink or serve alcohol.”
Still I shook my head. “I’m also at work. I cannot—”
I didn’t finish my sentence, because the door opened and Gage strode in. I hopped from the counter, making sure I wiped it before standing straight. “Hey, boss,” I greeted him.
“Listen, we haven’t had a food order in forty minutes, and we’re closing the kitchen early. There’s only half an hour left, so clean up and then get lost.” He gave me a small smile and then nodded at Cam, ready to stride out again.
“Boss, would you mind if Alec and I dance out there after we’re done cleaning?”
Gage turned back to me, his eyes speculative. “You know, your protector threatened to shut down the bar if he even has an inkling that you’re drinking.”
I blinked. “My protector?” He couldn’t possibly be talking about… “Kash?”
There was something on his face and I couldn’t place it. He looked almost smug. “Yes, K-ass told me he’d call the cops if I let you drink.”
Well, it seemed that Kash and I finally would be talking again, as soon as I’d finished the conversation here. “I’m not the biggest fan of drinking anyway, and Cam was talking purely about dancing. I just need to blow of some steam and the music is good. Kash can stick his opinion where the sun doesn’t shine.”
Cam chuckled. “Dare you to say that to Kash’s face,” he muttered next to me and I punched him in the side.
“Fine. But if I catch you with as much as the whiff of alcohol on your breath when you leave, it won’t happen again. I cannot have that when the club is open. What we do after hours is different, and not spoken about, but—”
“I don’t drink,” I insisted and meant it. Alcohol dulled your senses too much, and I was a sappy drunk who needed too much attention and love. I wouldn’t risk that in a club filled with so many willing men. After all, we all knew the horror stories about going home with someone, only to wake up in the morning to realize that instead of the prince you took a frog home. I had no intention of finding out how that felt.
Gage placed a hand on my shoulder and, although he was younger than Kash by three years, it felt more fatherly than anything Kash had ever done around me. “I trust you, so yes, by all means… Dance.”
Cam poked my side, his excitement palpable, and I grinned, waiting until Gage was gone before high fiving my friend. We’d never cleaned the kitchen as quickly as we did that night, and while Cam changed into a tight shirt, I told him I’d have to talk to Kash before I’d even move onto the dance floor. I knew Sav was his right hand and I could just imagine what he’d tell Kash if he saw me out there.
Slipping out the side entrance, I hugged myself against the unexpected cold after placing a stone in the door to keep it from closing. I found Kash talking to some guys and I waited until he and Dan got them to leave before walking closer to him. He hadn’t seen me yet and, against everything I wanted, my heart skipped a beat. It was freezing, or maybe it just felt like that to me, but his black sleeves were still pushed up to his elbows, showing off those tats. I spotted the headset in his ear, knowing he had direct contact with Savage inside.
Hell, those two knew each other so well I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out their brains were connected in some way.
He looked impressive, standing tall and straight, shoulders pulled back, and suddenly I felt much smaller than before. I’d been furious when coming out here, but now I wanted something entirely different. God, I could almost see myself walking up to him, flirting with him.
It was then it struck me that some guys most likely did that. How many men did he have to turn down per night, and how many did he conside
r seriously before doing so?
My fury returned with a vengeance and I marched over to him, resisting the urge to go onto my tiptoes just to be a little taller—and a little more confident - under his indifferent, hurting stare.
KASH
Even before he stepped up to us, I knew Alec was close. The guys standing first in line to be let in had started whispering and I wasn’t the least bit surprised. My heart leapt into my throat as he stared up at me, furious, and still I felt the need to reach out and brush my knuckles across his cheek.
“Alec,” I whispered, using his name because I knew calling him Baby Boy would only make him more furious. Although I had no idea what exactly what I’d done to deserve his anger.
“Stay out of my life,” he hissed, stepping in so close I could smell the strawberry gum on his breath.
I arched my brow, trying to appear indifferent even while he affected me like no one had before. “I hadn’t realized I was in your life.”
He snorted. “I hadn’t either, until Gage just now considered not letting me dance because you might call the cops on him. What the hell were you thinking, K-ass?”
I flinched. I didn’t want to and sure as hell hoped he hadn’t noticed it, but I’d flinched. Him calling me that affected me more than it did with anyone else. I was fine with them calling me whatever as long as they acknowledged me, but him? Gritting my teeth in response, I straightened a little more. He was on the larger side compared to most of the guys standing around us, and yet, compared to me he was smaller, and I hoped he felt like that, too. “Listen, Baby Boy, this bar is actually nice to work at, and I’m not gonna allow Gage to have a lapse in judgment just because you flutter your long lashes at him. It’s great you settled in and want to have all the fun in the world, but—”
He poked my chest, which I barely felt through the Kevlar vest. “Listen. You’re not my father, and that’s good because he’s an abusive ass, and you definitely aren’t my boyfriend, so unless I missed a memo and you somehow became a legal guardian for a nineteen-year-old, you better back up. If Gage lets me dance, and I’m sure I should repeat that because you didn’t seem to have gotten it the first time, lets me dance, then you should be fine with it. I won’t be drinking because, frankly, I don’t like alcohol anyway, or the way it fizzles the brain. Trust me, okay?”
