by Kamisa Cole
“I can’t drink. The bar isn’t closed yet,” I replied, even though he hadn’t invited me for anything.
“That was the last one. Cade, is Jimmy gonna come by?” Gage called across the now silent bar and his best friend turned.
“Sure is, will be here any…” The door opened and Dan came in with a cute twink wearing tight jeans and a bright smile. He walked straight over to Cade and hopped on a barstool, leading over to kiss his boyfriend. “Second,” Cade finished with a beaming grin.
“I guess that answers the question if he really is Cade’s boyfriend. Gage, the door is unlocked. Want me to lock up before I go?” Dan asked, and I heard Gage draw a sharp breath, clearly ready to say something not so nice, and I nailed him with a hard stare.
“If you want to sit and have a drink, I can lock up real quick,” he suddenly offered, and his tone was nearly venom-free.
Dan’s face split into a smile. “If I’d have known that before, I would’ve taken the bus here and caught a cab back, but I actually have to drive through half the city, so… Thank you for the offer. Seriously.”
I glanced at Gage, who closed his eyes in embarrassment. “The offer stands every night from now, even if it’s non-alcoholic, okay? You’re part of the team after all.”
Dan slapped the top of the bar. “Thank you. Seriously. I’ll lock up and then I’m gone. See you tomorrow. Night, boss.”
“Night,” I told him and then watched him walk away while Nash placed a tall glass of coke in front of me. “It better be—”
“Just coke, I promise,” he replied.
“That was nice of you, Gage. I was wondering how long you planned on punishing them for something they didn’t do,” Cade stated by his side, cleaning glasses while Nash had started going around the room to collect the rest.
“Need help with anything? I’m too restless to go home yet,” I said out loud, not wanting to hear Gage’s answer. I figured it was a big enough step for him to invite Dan to stay, he didn’t need to admit in front of me that he was wrong.
“You’re done. You did your job. Stay where you are,” Cade ordered, but I shook my head.
“I’m serious. Put me to work,” I insisted.
“He watched Alec and Cam kiss. He needs to keep his hands busy,” Nash called from across the room.
“Oh,” Cade stated as if he knew exactly what the hell that was supposed to mean.
Jimmy, his boyfriend, swiveled on his chair.
“You’re Kash, head of the security,” he pointed out as if I didn’t know that. His eyes swept over my body and I felt defensive.
Getting off the chair I’d been sitting on, I crossed my arms in front of my body. “I’m glad you’ve heard of me.”
He leaned in. “Afraid to love someone younger, huh? Cade mentioned you had the hots for Alec. I’m not surprised. He’s hot as fuck, and when he laughs…”
Cade growled on the other side of the bar, but Jimmy just gave him a beaming smile. “Oh please, no one can compete with you and you know it. However, if you weren’t here, Alec would so be on my to-do list,” he explained.
Gage joined us after having done a sweep of the back and the bathrooms like he did every night. “I think Alec’s on everyone’s to-do list,” he said, and it was obvious he was taunting me.
“Okay, since we’re done here, and you don’t need my help, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I marched out of the back door, knowing exactly how that looked, but couldn’t care less.
Their laughter echoed after me, and I had a feeling that tomorrow during the breakfast together as a team, I’d have to make a statement once and for all so people knew to stop talking to me as if I was falling for Alec.
How stupid would I have to be to not realize that if it were true, and worse, how dumb would I have to be to fall for someone who was so obviously going for his much younger and much more outgoing roommate?
ALEC
“He’s out like a light,” Savage muttered, glancing into the rearview.
“I’m not surprised. I didn’t realize he had that much to drink, you know? I would’ve stopped him before. I also wish we could’ve walked. The drive’s so much longer since you can’t drive through the parks and small streets.”
Sav shook his head. “It’s no problem at all. I’m glad you let me drive you. I can’t believe you walk that way every night. Sure, we’re not in the worst area, but this is still Seattle, and there’s still crime.”
I shrugged. “It’s always Cam and me, so I’m not really worried.”
There was silence for a moment, only filled by the rumbling of the engine and the soft snores from the backseat, then Sav cleared his throat. “So, you and Cam…?”
I considered lying, pretending there was something going on because I knew Savage would most likely tell Kash if asked, but that was mean. “Kash doesn’t want me. I’m too young. He made that obvious before, and I think he’s holding onto that tightly. I wanted to go to college, to study, but I ran away from my father instead because I couldn’t lie to him anymore. I’m not going to sit around and wait for things to happen now. I kissed Kash and he turned me down because I was hurt. I tried to convince him tonight that he wanted me, but he turned me down again. He avoids me like the plague, and I can hardly ask him to hang out with me when the rest of the team sits at the table. Besides… Sometimes I’m not sure he cares, even though I could’ve sworn there was something between us that very first day.”
Savage sighed. “Kash is… I don’t know. He’s dated. I know he’s dated, but I don’t think he was ever really in love. And add that to that the fact… Ah, you know, this isn’t exactly my story to tell. All I can say is I’ve never seen Kash get jealous.”
I chewed my bottom lip. “I’m pretty sure he was tonight. Cam kissed me. He’s going to regret it in the morning, but still…”
A small grin played over Savage’s face. “Again… I’ve never seen it.”
It took me a moment, then I realized he meant that this was new for his best friend. “Do you think he’s too old for me?”
I saw our street coming up and suddenly worried I’d missed my chance to ask the important questions. I didn’t know when I’d get Savage alone again, and he was the only one who was close enough to Kash to have a decent insight.
He parked the car after I pointed out our entrance, and then turned to me. “Do you think there’s something like too many years between people who genuinely care about each other?” he asked back and I shook my head.
“I don’t know. But I can see it from his point, you know? Like... I never had an honest, serious relationship. How can he ever trust that I won’t decide one day to find someone younger, more suited for me?”
Savage arched a brow. “What makes you so sure it won’t be him finding someone closer to his age once he realizes you can’t plan love? You know, I haven’t been in love for a few years, but there’s one thing I know for sure.”
“And that is?”
He took a deep breath. “There are no guarantees in love. You could find someone of your own age and be happy with him for a few years, or it could break apart. Same with this. You won’t know if you two work if you don’t try. However, if you’re worry about hurting him in the long run… Maybe you should only be his friend and make it obvious you don’t want to go any further with him.”
The thought alone made my heart ache. I didn’t want to imagine Kash just being my friend, talking to me, joking around with me, without me being able to reach for him. Granted, I couldn’t do that now either, but the terms were clear because he was avoiding time alone with me.
“Friends,” I muttered, the word cutting my throat as if I had swallowed razorblades. “We should get Sleeping Beauty here out of your car and get out of your hair,” I decided, knowing I couldn’t take more of this theoretical talk of me and Kash never being anything more.
“We should,” Savage agreed and we both left the car. The moment I touched Cam’s shoulder, he jumped, almost hittin
g me. Luckily the alcohol made him slow, but still, Savage and I exchanged a surprise glance.
“Cam, it’s me. Are you okay?”
His shoulders sagged. “Alec. I was… I thought… Forget it.” He leaned forward, almost tumbling out of the car, and I caught him just in time to keep him from face planting.
Savage walked us to the front door, but I assured him I’d get us upstairs just fine.
“You know,” he started, “Kash is off Monday, maybe you should drop by his place after work and try that friend thing,” he suggested.
“Funny. Blue Eyes has off Monday, too,” Cam supplied helpfully. “And friends with Mr. Grumpy Security? I don’t think Alec can be his friend. He wants the D too much for that.”
Luckily for me, Savage decided to ignore him. “Call him, Alec. You still have his number, right? You should hang out, and then see where it goes from there.” Kash had given his number to me the first morning we’d walked to DiverCity together, telling me I could always call him.
“I do, and I will.” And that I meant.
Cam and I told Savage bye, then went upstairs, thankfully the lift was working fine. I unlocked the door and made sure Cam was in bed before I sat down on the sofa in the common living room and took out my phone, dialing Kash’s number.
“Alec, what’s wrong?” he asked, the worry obvious in his voice.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat, then I rasped out, “I can never be your friend, Kash. Not ever.” And wasn’t that the fucking truth?
KASH
I’d just arrived home when my phone had rung and Baby Boy’s name had popped up on the screen. All kinds of scenarios raced through my mind, and yet his words totally didn’t make sense.
“I can never be your friend, Kash. Not ever.”
I didn’t know where that had come from, but instead of shaking out of my jacket I walked over to the couch in the dark of my apartment. I had a feeling I needed to be sitting for this conversation. “But you are okay?” I asked to reassure myself.
“I’m not, not at all. I know you’re avoiding me, which makes me think maybe I imagined you being interested in me, but when I touched you earlier…” My dick jumped to attention at the mere thought of him grabbing me through my jeans. “I know you liked that.”
Liking wasn’t exactly the word I’d use, but he didn’t need to know that. “Okay?” I rasped out, wondering where he was going with that.
“Besides the fact that I liked it, too, it makes me definitely know I cannot just be around you and be your friend. Not when I want to touch you the way I did earlier, only with a lot less clothes and much less attention from others.”
If his goal was to get me hard, he was doing exceptionally well. Still, I had no idea where this call had come from. “Are you drunk? I know you weren’t when leaving, but…”
“I’m stone cold sober, Kash. And… I’m sorry about calling you K-ass earlier. I was out of line.”
“God, Baby Boy, why are you calling? What do you want?” This honesty, this sweetness, was doing my head in, and the blood was thumping loudly in my ears because I wished he was there, right next to me, at that moment. I wanted to see his eyes while he said whatever he had to say just so he’d be around me.
He swallowed audibly. “What do I want? I want for you to grab me and pin me against a wall, kissing me as if your life depends on it. I want you to lay a claim on me just so I can lay one on you.”
“Alec…”
“Let me finish. Please,” he begged, and I stayed silent, giving him that much.
He took a deep breath and I all but saw how he licked his lips before continuing. “I want to find out if you’re grumpy in the morning when waking up next to me, and if I could go as far as to tease you until you finally take me on the kitchen counter because the path to the bedroom is too long. I want to find out what I should do to make you see that you can love me, even if there are twelve years between us. What do I want? I want the chance to see if that attraction between us is physical or if maybe, just maybe, you and I can be more.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, speechless for a few seconds, then I took a deep breath. “Alec, I… You’re implying trying for love, and… I… Look…”
“No, I never said the L-word. I don’t care what you call it. I want to be with you, cuddle up next to you on occasion, be allowed to kiss you, and know you better than anyone else in the world. And if I don’t care about the age difference, why should you?”
I stood, starting to pace while I thought about my reply. “What was that kiss earlier about?” Being jealous showed that I maybe should give this a chance, just to prove to myself that we wouldn’t work, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell him that.
Alec cleared his throat. “Which answer would make you the most jealous? I wanted it because I knew you were watching? Or that I’d been wanting to kiss Cam since he asked me to move into the apartment with him?”
No matter how wrong it was, I suddenly wished I could erase Cam’s kiss with mine, claim the lips I wanted to devour every time Alec spoke. “Did you? Want his kiss to make me jealous, I mean?” And does that mean you want mine more?
His voice was quiet, sincere, when he answered. “I didn’t want his kiss at all. Cam was drunk and horny. We’re friends, nothing more. Because with him I can be friends. I don’t want to casually touch him just because I can. I want you, Kash, even if I can only have you once.”
“Alec…”
“I want you to bend me over your couch and tease me open until I can take your hard dick right up to the root. I want you to hold onto my shoulders until I’ll remember the feeling of your fingers on me for days to come. And then, after that, I want you to take me back to the bedroom and kiss me until I’m dizzy with the lack of air. And then I’d grab us both, wrap my hand around us and stroke until your cum mixed with mine on my skin.” He gasped, and I felt my heart jumping into my throat.
“Alec, what the hell are you doing?”
His voice was down to a rasp. “Honestly? I just opened my pants and am stroking myself while talking to you. I’m basically always hard when I think about you, and I imagined you joining me during my shower the first night. I was hard then, and you were being all white knight. Black would’ve been better. Still a savior, still hot, but also naughty, helping me get clean, your hands all over me again… Ugh.”
His groan shot right to my already rock hard dick, causing it to leak inside my boxers. “Where are you?” After all, if he kept talking like he was someone who lived with him might hear him and it was the last thing I wanted.
This, his words, were for me and only for me. I wasn’t ready to share them.
“Living room but let all the people come and see how much you make me feel, even when you’re not around.” I heard the sounds of him jerking himself and closed my eyes against the unbidden pictures of him naked.
“Meet me Monday, Kash. Either at your place, or here, at mine, and just… I mean… if you want to get naked we can…”
Judging by the reduced noise in the background, his movements had slowed, and I leaned against the back of the couch closing my eyes.
“Pack that dick away, Baby Boy. You better not let anyone else see it, and fine, I’ll meet you Monday, but I’m not promising anything.” I didn’t even know why I agreed. I just knew that staying away from him after this would be nearly impossible.
“I don’t need promises, Kash. I just need chances. And now that’s settled, I gotta go to my room and finish jerking off, imagining it’s your hand giving me pleasure. See you at work tomorrow. Bye for now.”
Before I could reply he’d hung up and I had a feeling I was going to do exactly the same thing that he was clearly going to finish now that he had both his hands free.
KASH
I fidgeted all through the team brunch and tried hard to ignore Savage’s knowing grin. The time between Thursday and Monday had seemed to race even while it was standing still, and while I’d agreed to meet Alec at hi
s place, I had no idea what to expect.
“Relax,” Sav muttered. “It’s just hanging out with a friend.”
I arched a brow at him, whispering, “You told him to call me that night, didn’t you? And he didn’t call to tell me we should try and be friends, just FYI.”
At that my best friend’s brows shot up. “This is like… A date?”
I shrugged, not sure what exactly it was. Glancing down at my watch, I decided I’d been there long enough. “Okay. You all know what to do, and I have my car and my phone. Call me any time there’s something wrong.”
“We’ll handle it, boss. We’ve seen Mondays and they are dead,” Leon assured me, and Shay nodded.
“It’ll be almost like being off. And you try to relax for once. You know, loosen up, try to live a little,” he encouraged, and I wondered if he had listened in on us.
Dan nodded. “Yeah. Open a beer and watch some awesome trash TV. It always relaxes me.”
I was pretty sure trash TV wouldn’t do it for me, but I didn’t say that out loud. “Okay then.” I stood, telling everyone bye after making sure another time that my team knew to call me.
I caught Cam staring at me, and there was a weird expression on his face, but I didn’t exactly take the chance to ask what it was about. Instead I walked outside, unlocking my car right next to the entrance, and slipping behind the wheel. I considered telling Alec I couldn’t come; that there’d been an emergency at work, but I knew Cam would tell him the moment he got home that I’d lied.
Instead I started the car, wishing the drive would take forever, and while it seemed endless it was still over way too soon. I climbed the stairs after Alec buzzed me in and paused a floor down from his. My hands were sweaty. I wiped them on my pants repeatedly, but it didn’t help. The collar of my button down was too tight, and I could’ve sworn the air inside the staircase was getting thin.
“Maybe you should’ve taken the lift and you wouldn’t have gotten stuck,” Alec teased, bending over the banister and grinning down at me. My cheeks heated, and I climbed the last flight, hoping he didn’t see that I felt caught.
