by A'zayler
After listening to Gia explain everything, Oni felt extra bad. How could someone live their entire adult life without knowing how to read? Life had to be hard for him. Now with all of it making so much sense to her, she sympathized with Gia and Jamil even more.
Just being there for Gia and listening to her cry was all Oni could do. Offering her sympathy didn’t even seem like enough anymore. It wasn’t like she was in a very good position to be offering advice anyway.
What if she told Gia something wrong? What if she told her he would be back and he never came? Would Gia blame her for it? Oni didn’t know, but she didn’t want to take that chance. So with her hand on Gia’s back, she comforted her as best she could without words. Hopefully everything would be all right in the morning.
They were still driving when Oni’s phone rang. When she saw that it was Isaac, she answered. “Hey.”
“Hey. Can I see you today? Maybe have a late dinner or something?”
Oni looked at Gia and made up her mind. “Not tonight. My cousin is going through some things with her boyfriend, so I think I’m going to stay with her until she feels better.”
“Damn. She okay? Did that nigga do something to her?”
Oni smiled at his protectiveness of Gia when he didn’t even know her. “No, just had some personal issues brought out, and it’s kind of put a strain between them.”
He sighed. “Damn. Well, I hope everything works out for her. Hit me up if you change your mind.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Oni loved Isaac for real. At first it had just been something nice to say, but the more time she spent with him, the more her feelings grew. Maybe one day they could make something serious happen between them. If not, there was always Shock. She smiled as she thought about the brewing possibilities between them.
Chapter Thirteen
“I never knew how hard it would be to live without Gee until she showed my ass. Our love had bloomed so quick that even I had to question whether it was real or fake sometimes. But then the days came where I no longer had her, and every negative thing that ever came to mind about our love not being real faded into the darkness of my mind. Never to be considered again.”
—Milli
Three weeks later
Jamil sat on the steps of his parents’ apartment eating a bag of chips and drinking some soda. It was a little after eight o’clock at night, so the block was quiet other than the chatter of small children or other neighbors lounging on their porch.
The sun had set. It was still summer in Georgia, so minus the small breeze that came every so often, it was still scorching outside. Relaxing in a pair of gym shorts and a tank top, Jamil watched the cars as they sped up the street past his house.
He had been inside sleeping all day and had just woken up. Zanetta and Owen were in the middle of one of their drug-induced fights, and he honestly had no desire to watch any of their foolishness right then.
When he’d heard Zanetta call his name asking for his help, he’d thought for a moment that she really needed something. After hopping out of his bed and running to her rescue only to find out Owen had taken all of their extra drugs and she wanted him to give her more, he sucked his teeth and exited the apartment altogether.
The last couple of weeks of his life had been rough. He had enough on his mind and on his plate without dealing with the same old issues that had followed him his entire life. For just one minute, all he wanted was to relax and not think about anything. Not Zanetta, Owen, the block, or Gia.
Gia.
He missed the hell out of her. Outside of occasional updates from Shock, he hadn’t heard anything from her since the night of Shock’s pool party. The only reason he knew that she was still in Georgia and missing him like crazy was because Shock had been hanging out with Oni a lot lately.
The first time Shock had told Jamil that he’d seen Gia crying, Jamil felt like shit. He had wanted to run to her wherever she was and hold her until she felt better, but he couldn’t. He’d already known it but had just recently come to terms with him not being good enough for her.
As much as he wanted to believe he could be with a woman like Gia, he knew better. Had he stuck to his first thoughts and not even taken it there with her, they wouldn’t even be in this situation.
She wouldn’t be sad behind a nigga who couldn’t even write his own name, and he wouldn’t be sick behind a woman who he’d known from the beginning was too good for him. Something in him put up a caution sign at every corner, yet he’d blatantly ignored them.
Had someone told him at the beginning of the summer that by the end of it he would meet a woman, fall in love, and end up heartbroken, he wouldn’t have believed them. After all, he wasn’t even on the prowl for a woman, let alone a serious relationship or the feelings that came with it.
“Boy, you still out here picking up the pieces to your heart?”
Jamil looked up when he heard Shock’s voice. He was so busy doing exactly what he’d said he wouldn’t do, which was thinking about Gia, that he hadn’t even noticed him drive up to the curb.
“Nigga, fuck you. Where you coming from?” Jamil got up and walked to the window of Shock’s Hummer.
“Ain’t shit for real. I was thinking about heading out here to the little mock Color Run they’re holding for lupus tomorrow. You trying to roll?”
Jamil shook his head. “Nah. I’m good. Where it’s supposed to be?”
“It’s right at the high school around the corner. I’m only going out there for my sister. You know what she be going through with that lupus, so I try to make sure I donate a li’l something every year. If time permits, I slide through and jog a few laps.”
Jamil frowned slightly. “Oh, damn. I forgot Lisa had lupus.” He checked the time on his watch. “I guess I can slide through for a minute. Hit the track a few times with you.”
Jamil walked around the back of the truck and slid into the passenger seat. Once he was in and comfortable, Shock pulled off. He turned the music down some as he sped down the highway.
“You still ain’t hit your girl Gee up?”
Jamil shook his head. “Why you ask?”
“I saw her yesterday. Still pretty as ever, but she has sad eyes these days.”
Jamil’s mind went left upon hearing that Gia was still hurting behind him. He hadn’t ever wanted to be the cause of her pain, but clearly that was inevitable. What was done, was done. He could easily hit her up and try to make amends, but it was better this way.
The longer they went without talking, the easier it would get for her, and by the time she was set to fly home, she could go back to her regularly scheduled program. No him, no them, just her. The way it needed to be.
“She’s a good girl and I really think you should hit her up.”
“Nah. Gee’s different. She needs a nigga who can match the shit she has going on. I knew before I started fucking with her that we wouldn’t work. I should have left well enough alone. What I look like being at the Olympics and can’t even read her damn name when she wins?”
“Nigga, fuck that. You love that damn girl and she loves your yellow ass. I don’t know why you’re being so difficult. Nobody gives a fuck about all that other shit.”
“Just leave it alone, man. It’s done.” Jamil ended the conversation.
He wasn’t really in the mood to talk about Gia. Neither his heart nor his mind was strong enough at the moment. Hopefully once they got to the track and he ran a few laps, he would feel a little better, because right then he felt awful.
All he wanted to do was go back home, sit on his stoop, and chill. Well, in his mind that’s what he wanted to do. In his heart he wanted to be wrapped up in Gia’s body, her legs around his waist, with her arms circling his neck.
“Milli Rock.” Shock was looking at him. “You ain’t hear me?”
Jamil looked around. They were parked at the back of the school. There were purple banners and various signs with pictu
res of women on them.
“I said we’re here, nigga. Get out.”
“My fault.” Jamil opened the door and met Shock around the front of the Hummer.
They were dressed similarly in gym shorts and tank tops as they walked toward the track. There were throngs of people in various spots talking, sitting, and running, while others were parading around the grass holding pictures of their family members who were suffering from or who had passed away from lupus.
“My mama and Lisa out here somewhere. Let me know if you see them.” Shock looked all around the open field as Jamil did the same.
“Ain’t that them over there?” Jamil pointed toward the group of women that had just finished running around the track.
“Hell yeah. Come on.” Shock walked toward them with Jamil in tow.
Once they caught up with them, they exchanged hugs and greetings. After seeing how happy Lisa and Shock’s mom, Margaret, were to see them, Jamil was glad he had come. They even walked around the track a few times before the announcer announced that they were getting ready to start the fund-raising relays and asked everyone to clear the track. Since Lisa had her own tent set up in the corner with chairs and drinks, Jamil and Shock relaxed for a few minutes with Shock’s family.
“When they started doing this part?” Jamil asked Shock as the runners lined up on the track.
“They do it every year the day before. Tomorrow is the real thing. Tonight is just where they collect donations and shit.”
Jamil nodded as the gun sounded and the first set of runners took off in a light jog around the track.
“Oh, that’s what’s up. How much you normally donate?” Jamil asked.
“A few stacks.” Shock looked past him at the people who were lining up on the track. “Depending on what my pockets looking like.”
Jamil nodded again and turned his attention back to the parade of people that had packed the park out. The cool breeze and the constant activity were a welcome distraction for Jamil. He had been in such a bad head space since leaving Gia that even the simplest thing had begun to take too much effort.
“Dang, that girl is fast,” Lisa told Shock as she handed him a soda. “Did they say who she was?”
“Nah. I think they say their names at the end,” Shock said.
“Well, I’m sure I’ll hear it, because she’s about to beat all them people out there,” Lisa said before sitting back in her chair.
“Oh shit. Milli Rock, is that Gee?” Shock pointed.
Jamil’s head popped up at the speed of lightening. “Is that Gee where?”
“On the track. The dark-skinned girl in the front with the red shorts on.”
Jamil stood so that he could get a better look at the girl who was leading the race. When he felt the familiar thumping of his heartbeat speeding up, he knew it was her. She was the only person to ever have that effect on him.
The long black locs with the different color ends swayed against her back as her ponytail swung from side to side. Her arms pumped by her side as every muscle in her sexy legs popped out when she passed where they were sitting. The tight blue top hugged her body as she ran to the finish line and slowed her pace.
It took her a minute to slow down even after she’d finished running, but that was all Jamil needed to get to her. He hadn’t even realized he was moving toward her until he was only a few feet from her. She was on the side of the red track with her hands resting above her head.
He could see from the way her back was moving that she was breathing hard. Jamil tried everything he could to stop his hands from shaking, but he couldn’t. He was nervous and he didn’t know why. This was his Gee. There was no way she could have stopped loving him in three weeks.
“And the winner of the first-place prize of five hundred dollars is Miss Gianna Ellis. Ladies and gentlemen, give her a round of applause, please. Gianna has kindly decided to donate her winnings back to the Lupus Foundation.”
The crowd went wild as Gia stood at the end of the track smiling. Her head was tilted back and she was smiling at someone in the stands. Instinctively, Jamil turned around to see whoever it was that had her attention. There was a tall, burly man around her color with a shirt on it that had “Gia” written in purple.
Jamil wanted to run to her and ask who the man was, but he could tell by the matching smile and the same round eyes that he had to be her father. He watched the two of them smile and wave at each other and only made himself feel worse.
Gia didn’t look like she had been missing him half as much as he had been missing her. The sad eyes that Shock had spoken of didn’t look to be anywhere in sight. All he saw right then was a winner. A beautiful conqueror who was deserving of the happiness she looked to be basking in at the moment.
Jamil watched her for a few more minutes before he prepared to head back to Lisa’s tent. Just as he was about to turn around, he caught her eyes. That fast his feet became cement and his heart melted into a puddle in his chest.
The vibrant smile that had just brightened her face was now gone, replaced with a sullen look that dampened her entire appearance. The beautiful scowl that she shot toward him had him back in the same slump he’d been in for weeks.
For a long time they stood there just staring at one another, neither of them willing to look away first. However, Jamil hated the way she was looking at him now. It was nothing like the way she normally did. This was a look of distance and hurt, something he most definitely was not accustomed to getting from her. Anytime she had looked at him in the past, it was as if he was the sun to her earth, the stars in her sky, the knight in her favorite fairy tale. Now all of that was gone. Pain and loneliness took its place.
Jamil stood stuck in a trance just looking at her until he realized that she had indeed looked away and was now walking farther out of his life. Like a bolt of lightning, Jamil took off in her direction.
With legs much longer than hers, he caught up with her instantly. Already knowing that his words were going to fail him, Jamil didn’t even bother with them. Instead, he wrapped her in his embrace like he’d done many times before.
With her back to his chest and his arms resting tightly around her chest, Jamil pressed his face into her neck. Her damp skin was slick against his lips as he kissed one of the spots he’d been missing like crazy.
“Get off me, Jamil.”
Jamil?
“Gee . . . baby.”
“Don’t baby me. Just let me go, and you go back to wherever you’ve been for the past few weeks.”
Jamil tapped her chest where her heart was supposed to be. “I’ve been here, Gee.” He tapped it again and held her tighter. “I’ve been right here. I miss you so much.”
“Not enough for you to return my calls though, huh?” Gia tried to walk away, but he held her tighter, if that was even possible, and took a few steps with her until she stopped trying to pull away. “Milli, please let me go.” She sighed.
“Why, Gee? You don’t love me no more?” He kissed down the side of her face. “Was it fake to you? Huh? What we had, was it fake to you?”
“Hell fucking no, it wasn’t fake to me. Why do you think I want to kill you right now?”
Jamil closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. “Don’t kill me unless you’re dying with me. I can’t make it another day without you.”
Gia held her head forward and released a deep breath. With the back of her neck exposed, Jamil took advantage and placed kisses there as well. The more he kissed, the more she relaxed. When he felt her hands on the arm he had thrown across her chest, he nearly fainted.
His entire stance got weak at the smallest touch from her. He hadn’t known he missed her this much until he saw her walking away. While sitting at home on his stoop, he’d made himself believe that was what he wanted, when in reality it was the exact opposite.
“I don’t want to want you, Gee, I don’t.” He sniffed. “I just can’t help myself. Every time I try to take my mind off you, it goes right back. I told you I was fuc
ked up, Gee.”
“And I told you I didn’t care.” Gia laid her head back so that it was resting against his chest. “Still don’t, Milli. I didn’t then, and I still don’t right now.”
Jamil felt his throat getting tight, so versus saying anything, he simply held on to her. He was almost positive that if he opened his mouth to talk he would cry, so he just held her instead. When no more words came from him, Gia spun around in his arms so that she was facing him.
She pushed the locs that had fallen in his face away before placing a kiss on his chin. She did this a few times before tilting her head back so that she could look at him.
“Why you crying, Milli?” She wiped one of his tears away.
“Because, Gee, I can’t read.” He sniffed to keep his tears at bay. “And you deserve better, but I want you. I don’t want nobody else to have you.”
Gia kissed his chin again before wrapping her arms around him. “I’ll teach you.”
“How? You’re leaving in a few weeks.”
“We’ll find a way.”
Jamil didn’t see how they were going to be able to make that happen, but he nodded and pulled her close to him anyway. He honestly didn’t care about reading. He hadn’t known how to thus far. All he cared about was being with Gee.
“What you doing here?” he was finally able to ask once he’d gotten himself together.
“My aunt, Oni’s mom, has lupus. She asked me to run in the race for her.”
“That’s what’s up. Shock’s sister has lupus too.”
“I know. Oni told him we’d meet him out here.”
Jamil thought about what she’d just said for a minute before pulling away from her. “That nigga set me up.”
Gia looked confused. “What you talking about?”
“I was at the house chilling and he came and scooped me talking about chilling out here with Lisa and his family for a little while.”
