by Pratt, Lulu
I had to choose between my career and my personal life, and that was always an easy decision for me. Ingrid was a fun time, sure. But I wanted more than that for myself. In fact, I was willing to completely sacrifice the fun times in order to have the success I’d achieved through hard work and dedication.
Pushing our interaction to the back of my mind, I tried to focus on my shift, but it was impossible. There was no way for me to remove the image of her teary eyes from my memory. Every time I replayed the scenario, my stomach dropped with shame. I couldn’t believe I’d spoken so harshly to her, leaving her alone without even asking how she felt.
But I kept making it make sense. I had to make a decision, and as rough as it was, I knew that Ingrid was only a distraction to my work, and I couldn’t afford that.
“You’ve been more upbeat recently, what’s going on?” Robert’s voice snapped me from my thoughts.
“What do you mean?” I scowled, not ready for another of his lectures.
“I’ve noticed a change in your attitude. You’re lighthearted and approachable. I think I even heard you laugh earlier. Something’s different, and I imagine it has to do with that volunteer I introduced you to last weekend.” He smiled before adding, “How are things between you two?”
“They’re done. I ended it today,” I said, questioning myself silently. How could I end something that never was?
“What do you mean? Tristan, why?” Robert turned to me, worry wrinkling his forehead.
“Why are you so concerned? It’s not that big of a deal,” I shook my head, annoyed by his dramatics.
“But it is. Don’t you see how the entire staff has responded so positively to your shift? You’re relatable, the team can communicate with you better. When you have a life outside of the hospital, it takes some of the pressure off this job.” He paused as I searched his face for understanding. It was clear he meant what he was saying, but was there any truth to it?
“Tristan, we can’t be everything to you – your support, your joy, your audience, your therapist. You have to supplement your career with balance at home.”
“Robert, maybe I don’t want the balanced life,” I argued, but he only smiled.
“I know you see me and think, this guy doesn’t know what he’s doing. Hell, I’ve worked at more hospitals in the past five years than you have in your whole career,” he chuckled. “But that’s by choice, Tristan. I chose to prioritize my family life, because in the end, that’s what matters. I have a wall of awards just like you. It was all I cared about for the first years of my career – how many records I could break, how many conferences I could headline. But that stuff doesn’t matter, not really.”
He paused for a moment and ran his hand through his hair, collecting his thoughts.
“At that time, I was working a hundred hours every week, going home so late and leaving so early I didn’t even see the need in decorating the lavish mansion I bought for my ego. It was all useless. Then I met my wife. She helped me understand why I was doing what I was doing. It wasn’t for the awards or prestige, but for the children. As I focused on that, my life got simpler, and with balance I found happiness.”
We sat in silence as I digested his words. It was heavy, but my instinct was to trust him. He’d called me out on my assumptions about him. I’d never even researched the early years of his career, assuming he was as uninspired then as he seemed now.
“Tristan, I’ve seen the two sides of you – the one that cares about nothing but work, and the other with a spark in your eye thinking of something that brings a smile to your face. Listen, if it’s Ingrid that’s doing that, trust me when I tell you, you need her.”
That rocked me. It was the exact thought I’d been denying. I thought I only wanted Ingrid physically. But when I saw her, I knew what I felt was more than lust. As I left that locker room, I felt awful, like I was walking away from a vital part of myself.
“I know what I need to do.” I left Robert as I made my way to the reception desk.
“Atta-boy! Go get her!” he called behind me, his boisterous voice carrying down the hollow hallway.
“Hi, Ava,” I approached the lead receptionist.
“Hello, Dr. Hill,” she smiled curtly.
“I need to see when Ingrid Stone will be back in. She’s a volunteer.”
“Oh, she actually won’t be back,” she answered flatly, returning to a stack of paperwork.
“What do you mean? Why not?” I could hear the panic in my voice.
“She said she needed to take some time off. Said she would be gone indefinitely. Between me and you, I don’t think she’ll be back at all. She looked really distraught. Sometimes the volunteers can’t handle the loss a place like this brings. She was broken up about something,” she said sympathetically.
It was too late. Ingrid had made her decision and I felt there was nothing I could do. Ingrid had made it clear she didn’t want to even be around me, and that hurt more than the realization of what I’d done. But I wasn’t ready to give up. I had to find a way to let her know how I really felt.
CHAPTER 19
Ingrid
“HONESTLY, I still can’t believe it happened,” I shook my head, recapping the events of the day to Lauren as she sat opposite me on the sofa in my living room. “I know I was wrong to come onto him at his job, but he didn’t have to be so rude. It was so out of character for him.” I tried to make sense of everything.
It was the first time I’d ever hidden a romance from my best friend. She usually knew every detail every step of the way. This time, I regretted not seeking her advice, as she was always the voice of reason I so desperately needed.
“I just cannot believe you had all this going down with Dr. Hill,” she gasped with disbelief. “I mean, he’s like the strictest man I’ve ever met. The idea of him opening up sounds unbelievable,” she continued.
I’d decided not to tell her about his brother passing away when he was younger, or the effect it had on his parents. I felt those stories were only for me, but a part of me smiled, thinking of Lauren’s reaction if she knew the full extent of our connection.
Tristan didn’t hold things back with me. He was nothing like the doctor and colleague everyone at the office knew. When we were together, he got to be himself, and I liked to think something about me made that easier for him.
“Well, it’s all over now. It doesn’t matter anymore. He made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me, and I can’t blame him. I did everything he told me he didn’t want. I can’t believe how desperate I was.” I hid my eyes behind my hands, trying to forget the expression on his face. Tristan was stunned, not only by what happened, but by the fact that I had pushed him to it. I knew he’d never forgive me for that.
“Ingrid, you can’t just give up so easily. You have something here. Anyone can see that. I haven’t seen you so much as look in a man’s direction for months. And here you are, tearing up at the thought of never seeing Dr. Hill again,” Lauren reasoned.
It tickled me a little that she could not bring herself to call him by his first name. In a way, I liked it. Tristan had a way of separating those who only knew him professionally from people like me, who knew the man behind the white coat. I had loved being on that short list, but knew now there was no way to redeem my position.
“I can’t force him into a relationship I didn’t even know I wanted,” I spoke more to myself than my best friend.
It was me who told Tristan I couldn’t date. I didn’t think I wanted anything to do with a relationship after all I’d endured. I didn’t believe I could trust a man again, but Tristan had changed all that for me. He had shown me that there still were good guys, and I wanted him to be mine.
“It sounds like his feelings changed too, Ingrid. It’s okay to change your mind. You both thought you wanted one thing, but it turns out you may actually want another,” she said softly.
“Ugh,” I moaned pathetically, leaning my head back on a throw pillow. “I wish I had y
our luck with relationships.”
Lauren had been with her boyfriend since college and the two were complete love birds. They were getting married in a few months, and I couldn’t have been happier for her. Still, I wished my love life could be less complicated and simple like hers. She wasn’t left to wonder how her fiancé felt, because they’d gotten all that out of the way years ago.
As far as I was concerned, the beginning stages of dating had been completely romanticized. It sucked trying to figure out if someone was really into you, and I wanted no part of it. I’d obviously misread Tristan’s cues throughout the whole process and made irreparable mistakes along the way.
“Ingrid, my life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. If I had a hot date, the most exclusive ticket I could score from my job would be front row at the library. I’m a school teacher, for crying out loud! What type of excitement do you think that has?” She shot me a glare that brought us both to giggles.
“Seriously, you have this exciting career you’re passionate about, and I often wished I had the same. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children and what I do, but does it leave me drained and underpaid on a regular? Absolutely. I love hearing you talk about your work because I know how much it means to you. In that way, I think you have more in common with Dr. Hill than you think,” she said, just as her cell phone vibrated noisily.
I’d never considered how Lauren may think of my professional life the same way I thought of her personal one – ideal. She seemed to have it all figured out, but I guess we were all yearning in some departments.
“I’ve got to go check on my mom, but I want to hear more about this love affair,” she teased as she rose from the sofa.
“There is no more to discuss. I gave you all the details, and believe me, there’s no more to this story.” I could hear the disappointment in my voice.
“Ingrid, I’m really good at reading people. From what you’ve told me, I’m one hundred percent sure that there is more to this story. Just promise you won’t hold out on me this time,” she smirked.
“I promise,” I smiled, watching her walk to the door.
She let herself out, turning the lock before she closed the door so that I wouldn’t have to lock it behind her. I got up to get a glass of water. The doorbell rang and I looked to the foyer confused. Hanging from the coat rack was Lauren’s umbrella. I knew she had returned to retrieve it, because the forecast predicted rain later.
Slowly, I made my way to the door, grabbing the umbrella before I opened the door.
CHAPTER 20
Tristan
INGRID OPENED the door with her umbrella in her hand, as though she had no intention of even talking to me. I could see in her eyes she was tired, and knew it was my fault. After leaving the office, I tried to talk myself out of barging into her life, showing up at her townhouse unannounced. But I had to let her know how I felt. If she still wanted no part of me, I would have to accept that.
“Ingrid, I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. It was not true to my feelings. Truthfully, I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. I thought I knew what I wanted, but you’ve shaken all that up,” I began, blurting out the words, hoping to stop her from storming by me.
I continued, worried that if I stopped to let her speak she would say that I should leave. “I told you I didn’t want a relationship, because I didn’t. I don’t even really know what that means. I’ve never been involved with anyone and couldn’t imagine ever being a good partner.”
I was hearing myself for the first time and I knew it was bullshit. Of course I could be a good partner. I just had never had the motivation or desire before. Ingrid had given me the freedom to be myself, so I took the opportunity to tell her the truth again.
“I need you, Ingrid,” I continued on, not wanting to miss any opportunity to get across my thoughts. “That’s scary to admit because I’ve never needed anyone. I thought my career was enough, but since the day I laid eyes on you, I knew there was more to this world and I want that. I want you.”
Ingrid stared at me blankly, her blue eyes watching my every move without letting on what she was thinking. Unsure of whether or not I had burned the bridge I so desperately needed, I pushed on, spilling my heart on her front porch.
“I know people might think it’s inappropriate for us to date, but we can work that out. You can volunteer when I’m not on shift. Or,” I paused, rethinking the suggestion before deciding nothing was more important than Ingrid. “Or I can transfer hospitals. I don’t care, I just want you. I don’t know what a relationship even looks like, but I want it with you.
“There’s so much more I want to get to know about you. So many ways I want to explore,” I heard my words get tangled, and what came out was more erotic than I’d expected.
Ingrid smiled for the first time, and I thought I might take flight. That was how free and relieved I felt to know she wasn’t completely over me.
“Well, Tristan,” she began. “First of all, there is no way you are transferring hospitals. You are the best pediatric surgeon in California, and you deserve to be right where you are.” She proudly proclaimed my achievement, this time citing it correctly.
“And second, I don’t know what a relationship between us looks like, either. You love your career, and I love mine. But I’m happy to make room in my life for you if you can do the same for me.”
She was so soft spoken, I knew it was as difficult for her to put herself out there as it was for me. It was the first time I realized we were both scared, unsure of how this could work out. Ingrid was possibly as out of control, a slave to her emotions as I had been.
Our feelings were intense, and neither of us knew how to navigate them. We’d been acting on passion, thinking with our hearts instead of our minds. For me, that was a first, and it was incredibly scary. There was no logic in emotion, and I didn’t like the helpless nature it left me with.
Seeing Ingrid’s vulnerability gave me hope and confidence that maybe we could make things work and find a common ground between the two of us.
“So, you forgive me?” I asked, leaning forward.
“I do,” she smiled, leaning up to kiss me.
Her lips felt like clouds as I leaned in, the tension I’d been bottling up ready to unleash itself. Wrapping her arms around my neck, Ingrid hugged me tightly as she moaned against my tongue. Stumbling into the foyer, I pushed the door closed behind me without breaking our embrace.
With ease, I lifted her, and her legs parted to wrap around me, a position that felt familiar between us. With our bodies interlocked, I was at peace, without worry.
I wanted nothing to ever come between us again. Ingrid was home, where I was meant to be. When I was with her the stresses of my life faded away, leaving nothing but the two of us. Her smile was the only reward I needed in life – and the occasional moan from the pleasure I gave her.
She was more important than I could put into words, the balance I didn’t even know I needed. She had the power to turn a bad day around with nothing more than a look, and in my line of work there were lots of bad days. The idea that I could come home to her made me never want to leave her side.
“Where are you going?” She pulled away to ask as I made my way to the small staircase in the corner.
“I think it’s time we did this properly, on a bed,” I explained, watching her smile take shape.
“For you, Dr. Hill, I can make myself available anywhere, anytime,” she grinned before leaning in to kiss me again.
Climbing the steps of her townhouse, I thought of how easily I could get used to this. Ingrid was the sweetest woman I’d ever met, the only person in the world I would consider giving priority in my life. It dawned on me that all those years of sacrifice had been for this very moment. The many hours in medical school and the hospital, turning down offers to socialize or date. It was easy to reject them because they weren’t meant for me.
It was all so that when I did finally meet the right woman, I would know. It shoul
d be an easy decision after sacrificing so much. To give so much of your life to something, it took great force to move it to second place.
There was no question in my mind because I’d spent years learning what I didn’t want. When Ingrid arrived, the signs were clear, and I was ready to stop fighting them. She was my destiny and desire rolled in one, a beautiful combination I would never let go or fade. We were strongest together, and I refused to let anything or anyone weaken our bond.
***
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Claiming His Firecracker
Sparks fly for one night, but I want more.
And what I want, I get.
Fiona has always been a firecracker.
Her red hair and fiery spunk have haunted my dreams since I enlisted.
She’s my sister’s best friend and now in charge of the Fourth of July alumni football game.
Guess I’d better get myself in the game.
Fireworks explode between us and my desire is set alight.
Problem is my sister hates me and Fiona is loyal.
That won’t stop me when I claim her.
She’s mine.
*** A steamy STANDALONE contemporary romance with a smoking hot hero. No cliffhanger, no cheating and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.***
CHAPTER 1
Fiona
THE SCENT OF freshly clipped grass filled my nose, a cloying and familiar scent. It smelled like summer, and hot dogs, and new love. It smelled like home.
