She can’t do that.
She needs to learn, needs to pay.
The sound of her voice stops and my mind flickers back to the moment I first saw her.
She was always destined to be mine.
She will forever keep me in her heart because our love is strong.
I love fiercely, and yeah, maybe a little too intense, but I get this overwhelming need to make them love me just as much.
It’s almost like a sickness.
The fear of losing her.
The fear of making her hate me.
The fear of being on my own.
I don’t like it, and I never have.
She is my light.
I want my light.
I can’t live without my light.
But then her words repeat themselves.
“May your twisted heart rest in peace.”
Rest in peace.
Twisted heart.
The pain that shoots through me is like nothing else.
I know that my fight for her is done.
I know that she hates me, just as I always feared.
Twisted heart. She has no idea.
I would do anything for her.
I would kill for her.
I would die for her.
And I guess that’s what I’m going to do.
Die.
For her.
She doesn’t love me anymore, and what life would I have without her loving me?
I try once again to open my eyes, but it’s no use.
This is it.
This is the end of my life as I know it.
My thoughts are jumbled, my brain turning to mush.
The darkness descends.
The click of a door closing tells me that my time is up.
She’s gone.
I’m alone.
The final part of the curtain comes down, encasing me in darkness.
And the final sound I hear is the beep of a machine, which fades into the background until I hear nothing.
I’m finally free too.
Chapter Forty-Three
Strong
Lucy
“So, Lucy, how have you been since we last spoke?” Ava says as I take a seat opposite her.
“I’ve been really good,” I reply genuinely.
I have never felt better or happier.
“That’s great,” Ava says with a smile. “How have you been dealing with Michael’s death?”
Her words do nothing to me. I’ve accepted his death. I’ve accepted that he was the weak one, too weak to breathe on his own and face the consequences of what he did. I don’t feel guilty, and I don’t feel like an asshole for telling them to shut the machine off.
Some would say I’m a murderer, but if he was dead already and nothing but a machine was keeping him alive, then I beg to differ. I didn’t murder him. He murdered himself.
And I’ve spent enough of my life being tainted by his evil, I don’t want to allow him to take another minute from me.
“To be honest, I haven’t really thought about it. I know that probably sounds bad, but I no longer feel tethered to Michael. I broke free, and it feels wonderful.” And it does. It truly does. “I said what I needed to, I told him goodbye, and since then it’s like a new peace has settled over me.”
Ava nods her head. “You found closure.”
Closure.
I never thought of it like that.
“When we find that moment of peace, it’s usually because we can finally shut the door on the trauma. I’m not saying that you will ever forget, but you have allowed yourself to forgive,” Ava says, and I think about her words.
“I have forgiven myself,” I reply.
“Yes.” Ava nods and smiles, and so do I.
This journey has been one where I have fallen before rising back up.
I never needed anyone’s acceptance but my own.
I didn’t forgive myself after Tom, and I didn’t do it with Michael… until now.
The road to recovery is hard, its long, and I will continue to come and see Ava until I feel completely ready that I don’t need her to listen to me anymore.
Speaking to Ava frees me, and I’m all about being free.
I am Lucy Fields.
I am strong.
I am a survivor.
I am free.
Chapter Forty-Four
One year later
Cal
There was a time when I didn’t think that I was good enough for the woman led beside me.
I doubted my ability to love her.
I doubted whether I was worthy enough for her.
But there came a time when I realised that I was being stupid.
I ran away from my feelings, buried them as I travelled the world.
But when I came back, I knew.
I knew that I was worthy, and that she deserved so much more.
I’ve been beside her as she’s battled. I’ve watched her come undone. And I’ve witnessed her becoming the strong female that she is today.
What she has been through has transformed her into fierce, loyal and loving. And she’s totally mine.
I can say she’s mine because she knows I don’t want to own her.
I want to call her mine because I love her, and I stand beside her.
I have loved watching her flourish.
I have seen her kick her demons and bury them.
And I will forever be in awe of her.
My role here is to love her. Worship her. Devour her. Give her room to breathe when she needs it. Let her find her own path. And I’m the lucky bastard that gets to walk that path with her.
Three months ago, she agreed to be my wife.
Two months ago, she showed me a positive pregnancy test.
One month ago, we wed.
And today, I enjoy the happiness that I feel. I see the adoration in her eyes, and I reflect that back to her.
Time can help us heal.
Strength can help us rebuild.
And true love fills us with hope.
Hope for a better day or a better future.
Lucy and I no longer need hope.
We’ve found our happy ending.
We are soulmates.
We are one.
Chapter Forty-Five
Taking Control
Lucy
Happy.
Elated.
Adored.
Worshipped.
I am Lucy Bailey.
I have a husband that loves me, and friends that support me. Sullivan, Kim and Jeremy are like family to Cal and me, and our combined friendship has only become stronger over time.
My life is the one I want. The one I chose.
I am happy.
I am strong.
I can recognise the difference between love and control.
I’ve lived it, I’ve breathed it, and I’ve survived it.
My story isn’t a tragic one. It’s one of forgiveness and strength to get through events that try to shape our lives.
I forgave.
I found strength.
I took control.
As I cradle my stomach, lying next to the man that stood beside me every step of the way, I know that I am one of the lucky ones.
I got away from a monster that wanted to suffocate me. I freed myself from his clutches, and I made sure to expel him from within.
It took time, but I did it.
And now I get to pass on my inner strength to the baby growing inside of me.
This is my life.
This is my happy ever after.
Repeat after me… I am strong, I am capable, I am a survivor.
THE END
About the Author
Lindsey lives in South West, England, with her partner and two children. She works within a family run business, and she began her writing career in 2013. She finds the time to write in-between working and raising a family.
Lindsey's love of reading inspired her to create her own book series
. Her favourite book genre is romance, but her interests span over several genre's including mystery, suspense and crime.
To keep up to date with book news, you can find Lindsey on social media and you can also check out Lindsey’s website where you can find all of her books:
https://lindseypowellauthor.wordpress.com
Author Acknowledgements
It’s easy for others to say, “Just leave,” or “Why are you going back?” or “I would have done this…”
Easy to say but hard to actually do.
It’s not always a simple case of just walking away.
It doesn’t work like that.
Domestic violence and abuse is a sensitive subject, but in order to tell Lucy’s story, I couldn’t have just glossed over the bad times, they had to be in there. They had to show just what she went through and what she felt.
The Control Duet.
The hardest two books I have had to write.
I want to thank my beta readers for their feedback, I want to thank my ARC team for their time and their reviews, I want to thank my street team for being awesome, and I want to thank YOU. My readers are why I continue to write and push myself to keep those stories coming.
I want to thank Wicked Dreams Publishing for a fierce cover.
I want to thank my family and friends for supporting me.
I want to thank Robyn who is my PA for taking care of all things PA-related.
I want to thank Nikki, Ashlee, Robyn and Lauren for talking me off the ledge when things get too tough.
I have more stories to write, and more book boyfriends to share with you, so keep a look out because I am working on something new and steamy, and I am oh-so-excited.
Much love,
Lindsey.
Taking Control (The Control Duet Book 2) Page 14
