…How she had captivated him as she strolled past his house… how he’d followed her to Engelmann’s Grocery Store. Henry had never forgotten the moment he had knocked over all the salmon tins when he first looked into her cerulean blue eyes. It truly was love at first sight, a magical, spiritual moment, there was no other way to explain it.
Without realizing it, Henry had thrust his right hand out towards Brenda as he reacted to the memory of that wonderful phrase Jenny always said as they crossed busy streets, “Quickly, hold my hand.” It was as if Jenny were there beside him. An electrifying thrill coursed through him as it had that day when their hands engaged and every time he thought about it since.
Henry’s heart warmed as he recalled that summer. How he and Jenny had grown closer together. How they dated and almost made love in the park. And then, just two weeks after high school started, it ended. Jenny and her parents moved to Ottawa and he never heard from her again.
He recalled packaging up over 40 letters and mailing them to her father’s business, but she had never responded. It was as if she’d vanished from the face of the earth. Henry’s hand landed on his chest as his heart ached.
“Mr. Pederson…? Henry, is everything okay? You drifted so far away.”
“Oh, I’m very sorry, Brenda,” Henry said, as he shook his head to snap himself back into the present. “As I thought back to how I got started with Mr. Engelmann, I somehow began thinking of a very special person that also came into my life at that very same time—”
“It must have been a girl to put you into such a deep trance so quickly,” Brenda interjected with a smile.
Henry looked at Brenda and smiled back.
“Yes, it was a girl, she was my very first lo—” He stopped. It was too private, too personal, to share with a reporter he hardly knew.
Henry couldn’t get over how quickly and utterly absorbed in the past he still became when he remembered Jenny and how immediately he felt the pain of their parting. It took considerable effort on his part to let go of the momentary grip it had on him. He shook his head again and said, “Oh, I better not go there, Brenda.”
Henry sat up trying to shake off the reverie that was still trying to draw him back. Brenda looked a little disappointed that he wasn’t going to share where his mind had so strongly drifted to.
“Well, let’s get back to your question which I believe was, how did Mr. Engelmann influence me, my skills and my careers in so many ways?”
Brenda nodded.
“Well, Brenda, he not only touched my life, but the lives of many, many people in the neighbourhood. Let me see now…Mr. Engelmann…What can I say in a few words that would capture the essence of the man? Perhaps I’ll start by giving you a little background and then share examples of what I mean.
“It was 1956 and I had just finished Grade 8. I was starting my summer holidays when Mr. Engelmann called my parents and asked if it would be okay for me to work for him during the summer. It was okay with my parents, but it was I who wasn’t sure if I wanted to work for him. I had always perceived him as sort of a grumpy old man, who usually gave us boys a stern look when we entered his store. Not that he was unjustified in doing so, our intent most of the time was to snitch a chocolate bar or two.
“Something told me to work for him anyway, and in a matter of days, I began to respect Mr. Engelmann and soon came to love him like a dad or grandfather. Soon, I began to see him as one of the greatest and wisest persons I ever knew. And, I might add, my opinion of that judgment hasn’t changed one iota over all the years. In fact, it has only deepened.”
Brenda looked intrigued and nodded for Henry to go on.
“Well, let’s see… Mr. Engelmann’s business was failing and on the verge of bankruptcy. He owed money to his suppliers and was behind in paying his taxes. His wife, Anna, was very ill and could no longer help her husband with the business. Gradually Mr. Engelmann became overwhelmed by the daily grind of looking after both the store and his wife. They hired me to help out and that’s what I did.”
“Why someone so young and inexperienced?”
“Well, perhaps it was all they could afford. In fact, I never received an hourly wage. On Saturday night after the store closed, Mr. Engelmann would give me a five or ten dollar bill from the cash register, whatever he could afford. But you know, Brenda, I would have worked for nothing. I derived so much joy and inner satisfaction from helping Mr. Engelmann fix up the store and get it back on track. Also the joy it gave to both he and his wife to see it all happen so quickly, was more than payment enough. Within six months, the store was back on track and making money again. All of his debts were paid within a year and his savings account was growing.”
“That’s wonderful. So, what exactly did you do?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary. I started by organizing the shelves and the stock. I painted the basement, and then the upstairs store and then the exterior.
“Seeing something so deteriorated and disorganized drew out my characteristics, aptitudes, and potential ability. Seeing the improvements and the joy the results gave to Mr. and Mrs. Engelmann and to the customers was so satisfying it just motivated me all the more. I kept the shelves well stocked all the time, developed a delivery service, remembered people’s birthdays, organized coupons and sales, and so on. Mr. Engelmann treated me as if I were an adult, an equal, almost a business partner. Things which we developed back then, I have implemented in my business today.”
“That’s really something,” said Brenda.
“But, Brenda, that is really the least of what I had learned while working for Mr. Engelmann. The biggest and most important part is what I had learned about life.”
Henry sat back in his chair again. Brenda followed his lead and sat back in hers assuming a more relaxed position.
”Shortly after I began to work for him, I developed such a deep respect for him that he became my closest friend, counselor and mentor. Over the months and years that followed, I shared everything with Mr. Engelmann.”
Brenda remained silent. She sat up in her chair, encouraging him to go on.
“Perhaps the main reason why I so readily opened up to him was because he accepted me unconditionally. I never had to be defensive because he never criticized. He always took me exactly where I was at and helped me talk and work through any concern or problem. Out back behind the store, Mr. Engelmann and I would sit on two old grey crates, drink soda pop, and talk. This was Mr. Engelmann’s classroom, what he referred to as his ‘school of life.’ It was there, behind an old grocery store, that he not only helped me meet life’s challenges, he also imparted to me very valuable principles of life to live by.”
“Hi, Henry,” called a customer as he passed by.
“Hi, Nick.” Henry turned and waved.
“I need to get another one of your paintings. My secretary is retiring.”
“Shelly is in the gallery right now, she can help you out.”
“Great. I’d like you to personalize the painting to my secretary, though.”
“I will be happy to, Nick.”
Henry waved Nick off and turned back to Brenda. “Now, where was I?”
“You said Mr. Engelmann taught you the principles of life.”
“Ah, that’s right. In helping me solve my personal problems and concerns, he also explained important lessons surrounding it all; accepting others and their weaknesses; forgiveness; living with integrity and never to compromise honesty; truthfulness; kindness; to separate the person from their acts, and to live in the present moment.”
“Live in the present moment?”
“Yes. Most of us are only half aware of life and our surroundings in our moment-to-moment functioning. Most of the time, we live in the past, worried about something that happened to us, reliving a regret, angry over someone who hurt us, and anxious about it all. We literally drag into our present mom
ents the concerns and worries of the past, which is such a waste of precious time. We are also guilty of worrying about the future, being apprehensive about upcoming events or happenings, worried that this or that might happen. In short, we fill our present moments, the only real reality of life in which we could be fully alive, with a lot of yesterday’s garbage or worries about tomorrow.”
“Oh yes, I have seen several books on the market about that subject.”
“Yes, that’s true, but back then it was just coming into discussion and consideration. Anyways, you can see how Mr. Engelmann influenced me to be a teacher and then a guidance counselor.”
Brenda nodded with a smile.
Henry sat up and sipped his tea.
“What developed my character perhaps more than his words and teachings, though, was that I saw him walk the talk daily, without fail. He never missed an opportunity to show kindness or love. He always encouraged me to reach out to others, to give of myself, my time, and act out of kindness. To always do it when the opportunity presented itself as you may never pass that way again. That is what our Lord will judge us on – how we have lived. How we have loved.”
Henry looked intently into Brenda’s eyes and continued, “What I realized over time, Brenda, was that both he and his wife, Anna, were not so much selling groceries and trying to make a living, as they were using the store as an avenue to carry out their mission in life; to reach out and serve their fellow man.”
Henry stopped for another moment and sipped his cold tea.
“I so desired to emulate him, but not without a lot of bumps and hard knocks along the way. It wasn’t until I followed another one of his precepts that I finally started to make some progress.”
Brenda leaned forward and closer to the edge of her seat. Her actions reminded Henry of himself seated on the edge of the old grey crate behind the store waiting for Mr. Engelmann’s next tidbit of wisdom.
“What helped me to grow and follow somewhat in Mr. Engelmann’s footsteps was when I began to acquire the habit of daily meditation and prayer.”
“Do you mean being on your best behaviour at all times so as to be an example to others?”
“Well, that’s very important and we so need people to be models in this day and age. But what I was getting at was the importance to continually examine your life and prepare for the day. Perhaps you meditate already, Brenda, and realize this.”
Henry studied her for a brief moment, but Brenda didn’t respond.
“Unless one examines his or her life continuously, and checks the direction in which one is heading, one can easily get stuck in a rut, get caught up with just trying to live out the day, then go to bed, get up the next morning, only to think basically the same thoughts and perform the same actions and behaviour all over again. Many of us spend our lives this way, as sad as it may be, it is a fact. I know I was guilty of it and still am many times.”
Brenda was about to say something when Henry blurted out, “It all comes down to how one starts each and every day. The heart must be fueled daily with a restful solitude, meditation, thoughts of gratefulness and faithful prayer. Without this, success is difficult, the road a struggle. We spend day in and day out with the same self-defeating behaviours and thoughts.”
They both sat in silence, sort of staring at one another. What was supposed to be an interview to learn about Henry’s business and his background had somehow turned into a philosophical and spiritual dissertation.
“Well, Brenda, this is really not getting you any further in your interview about the article you want to write. You can see, however, how all this influenced me and the choices I made throughout my life.”
“Yes, I can definitely see that, Mr. Pederson, and it’s all very enlightening.” After a further reflective thought, Brenda added, “It is so true how easy it is to get stuck in the process of daily living and not really grow. And it is true that we do have a tendency to think the same thoughts over and over.”
“After learning so much about human behaviour and helping others from Mr. Engelmann, I was motivated to become a teacher, and then after four years of that, I went on to become a guidance counselor. After that, it was time to pursue my love of art and then business. My four years working with and for Mr. Engelmann very definitely led me to do and realize all these career choices.”
“Yes, I am beginning to understand and for sure, I see what you mean. He has been a big influence on your life…” Brenda’s voice trailed off, like she didn’t know what to ask next.
“You know, Brenda, an article about Mr. Engelmann would indeed be highly interesting.”
“Is he still alive?”
“Well, yes, he is. In fact, around 1960, shortly after his wife died, he decided to enter into a new career, a natural for him.”
“He became a psychologist?”
“Well, in a way he did, but he became someone even better, at least I think so. He went into the seminary and became a priest.”
“Really? That’s fantastic.”
“Yes, it certainly is. And would you believe, he is still active as a priest today, at St. Mary’s Church. I think he’s somewhere in his eighties, looks like he’s in his late sixties and acts like he is in his forties. The Archbishop has been trying to get him to retire for years, now, but he always says, ‘next year.’ He maintains that his flock still needs him and that he, the shepherd, is still able to walk the hills and valleys.”
Henry smiled and quickly added, “But I do think he is beginning to think seriously about retirement of some kind. Last Sunday after Mass when I talked to him, he mentioned that he might want to move into a care home. He sees all too many lonely people in there when he visits them, living day in and day out just waiting to die. ‘Perhaps I can help,’ he said to me. So, he has something up his sleeve.”
“So, what is next on the agenda for you, Henry?” Brenda popped the question with a sparkle in her eyes.
“Well, Brenda, I have always wanted to write a novel, but that is on the back burner for now. At the present time I have a crew that is completing several major renovations to other revenue property I have, including an office building just down the block.”
“So, you’re a developer, too!”
“Yes, sort of. Like I told you before, I love renovating. I acquire houses, fix them up and either sell them or rent them out as another source of revenue. I love doing that. I derive great satisfaction out of taking something that is run down and turning it into something beautiful. That is what motivates me in my painting and everything I do. Starting with a blank canvas, for example, and turning it into a beautiful prairie landscape, taking an old house and turning it into a work of art, just as we did to the gallery and then the café and so on. I’ve always been like that.
“In short, Brenda, I like to make the world a better place. I get a lot of satisfaction when people come into our business and tell me how much they love it here and how good it makes them feel. That’s what it’s all about.”
“It’s amazing how you still manage to find time to paint as an artist.”
“Yes, I hear that all the time. But like I said, it requires commitment, hard work, and long hours. It’s like they say, if you want to get something done, give the job to a busy person.”
“Hmmm, that’s interesting. A busy person doesn’t procrastinate and gets on the job right away,” Brenda analyzed.
“I certainly don’t paint as often as I used to. In most cases I just do it and get at it in a very committed way, so in a way you are correct,” Henry replied, “but I must admit I am guilty of procrastination. If I overcame that, I would really get a lot more done.”
Brenda’s eyes grew wide with a look of disbelief. “As I listen to you, you have really accomplished what most people only dream to do. Most of us fail to act on our dreams and visions.”
“That’s so true and a very sad state of affair
s,” Henry said with a nod. “Perhaps one of the biggest factors why people don’t do things or act on their ideas is the fear of failure. I have seen it over and over again, not only as a counselor, but also talking to people who tell me how they envy my success. Perhaps they always dreamed of opening up a café, but for them, all it was was a dream; they never acted on their vision. When we decided to open a café, over and over business people advised me that a café would never work…”
“Yet, you still went ahead,” Brenda interrupted.
“Yes, I believe when you do something, do it to the best of your ability, don’t cut corners, do it right the first time and just believe that it will work. Wasn’t it William James, the well known psychologist, who said ‘our belief at the beginning of a new venture is the one thing that insures the successful outcome of your undertaking?’”
“I’m not sure who said that, but it’s true. We do tend to attract what we think.”
Henry nodded with a smile.
Brenda looked up. “I really must say I am very impressed by your total commitment to life.”
“Thank you, Brenda, that’s very kind of you to say. But really, if I can do it, so can anyone. I’m just an average Joe. I suppose that’s what I have learned is that to make it happen you must do one very important thing.”
“And…?”
“You have already alluded to part of it earlier when you said one must ‘act’ on it. To achieve anything in life, to realize your vision or dreams, you must begin to do it and keep at it until it’s done. So many of us have great ideas, profound visions, but instead of acting on them, we snuggle into our security blanket of safety and comfortableness, afraid to act. Slowly we watch one dream after the other whither and die or see it realized by another who dared to act.”
“You said that’s part of it, what is the other part?”
The Angelic Occurrence Page 3
