“How could such an evil practice become legal? How could intelligent judges in their wisdom make such a ruling that legalizes the killing of millions of innocent, helpless infants!? Could they not foresee the devastating consequences upon the mother’s that do that, too? How can they sleep at night? It’s all so senseless! I’ve been involved in this for as long as I can remember starting with my mom and I still can’t understand it. What is it that I am not seeing, Auntie?”
Chloe began to cry and the phone grew silent. Tears filled Jenny’s eyes too. She had no answer. It was impossible to make such a deep, terrible wrong appear right, a gross injustice appear just, it was an evil that must be stopped.
“People around the world must see it for what it is. A holocaust in our midst!” blurted out Chloe. “Every minute of every day, many defenceless babies’ lives are terminated through abortion and all the while we stand idly by and let it happen.”
“I think the majority of people know that it’s wrong and a horrible thing but they remain silent because it’s legal and they don’t want to appear to be condemning of women who have had an abortion.”
“But Auntie, the law needs to be changed! And people need to realize that it is not a matter of choosing pro-life over women who have had an abortion. We condemn the act… not the woman! We welcome them and love and care for them and want so much to help heal their pain and sorrow.
“That’s what people need to know and understand, Chloe. Remaining silent only perpetuates the evil of abortion, it doesn’t change the law. No one is condemning the women, but rather the act of terminating a baby’s life.”
“Oh, Auntie Jen, I hope people will begin to speak out. They just have to. It’s clear that politicians will never act on their own. Most, if not all, sit on the fence waiting to see which way the wind blows. If only more would have the courage to stand up to this inhumanity!”
“It’s like we said, Chloe, politicians will only act when it affects their votes. If the silent majority ever begins to speak up, watch out, Chloe. There is tremendous power in the voice of the people.”
“Yes, I saw evidence of that all this week. Perhaps you saw it in the news as well about a mother and father who abused their daughter by locking her up in a room in the basement for days on end when she disobeyed. There was such uproar by the public in the newspapers, radio, TV… as there should be…”
“And I know exactly what you are leading up to, Chloe. How is it that so many speak up when they see abuse of children and yet remain silent and ignore the daily killing of innocent helpless infants?”
“That’s exactly right, Auntie!” Where are all those people now? Is the killing of infants considered less than the abuse of a child?
“Well, Chloe, the more you talk and champion this cause the more people will come onside. I certainly let my member of Parliament as well as the prime minister know that something must be done.”
“Did you know Auntie, that out of the millions of infants that are aborted each year, less than 1% of the babies are due to rape and incest?”
“Oh Chloe, your reasoning is so clear, simple and honest. I have to agree with you, Chloe, that the reasons for abortion in my opinion, are not necessary and in most cases aren’t justifiable if at all. Unfortunately they are legally allowed to have an abortion and all too many doctors are willing to do it.”
“Yes, that’s the part I just can’t get, as you said, Auntie, to understand how a doctor can terminate the life of a baby one minute and then in the next try his hardest to deliver an infant! Surely they can see what they are doing; that in both cases it’s a human life that they are dealing with.”
“Exactly!”
“You’re right, Auntie. It just seems like such an uphill battle. Maybe Dad’s solution is best of all. He says what the world needs now more than anything is prayer. God answers prayer. If enough people get down on their knees and pray, he believes God will change hearts. He will fill people up with his Holy Spirit so that when they rise off their knees they will be filled with such power and courage that they will shout from the roof tops to stop this insanity.”
“You know, Chloe, I think your dad is right! Prayer is what is needed in the world. It’s what we have turned our back on. The prayers of those who realize its importance are always answered by the Father. And He will change those who don’t. God is the one who can change the heart of those who now don’t understand and will help stop the terrible things we do to one another.”
“One of the things I remember Mom always telling me when I went with her to the counseling centre was to always remind the ladies who have lost their way in life and come there for help, that Jesus loves them and wants to heal them and that He forgives them. The wounds he suffered on the cross do not reveal condemnation but His great merciful love for them.” And after a moment of silence, Chloe added, “I finally understand what Mom meant.”
“Chloe, that is a beautiful way to end this discussion. Let’s make sure we don’t leave our talks three weeks apart again.”
“For sure, Auntie, but before you go I just wanted to say that I will never forget that day we strolled in the garden after Mom died and a butterfly followed us. Do you remember how it rested on my hand when we sat down on the swing in the gazebo? I believe it was Mom’s spirit.”
“I do too, Chloe. It was late in the fall and all of the Monarchs had left for their trek back to Mexico and that one stayed behind for some reason.”
Jenny could hear Chloe crying. She missed her dear friend, Tammy, so much too.
In between sobs, Chloe continued, “I’ll never forget how we said the Guardian Angel Prayer, the one you taught Mom, and she passed it on to me. Can we say that together now?”
“Yes, Chloe, and let us add your Mom’s deepest prayer that all of God’s children have the right to life. May her spirit touch the guardian angel of all mothers the world over to ever prompt their charges to never consider abortion as an option but to give life to the precious gift within their womb as God intended from the beginning of all time…
“Oh Angel of God my Guardian dear
To whom God’s love commits me here.
Ever this day be at my side
To light and guard, to rule and guide.
Amen.
“I love you dearly, Chloe.”
“I love you too, Auntie!”
*Rachel’s Vineyard was established in 1996. Time-line has been changed to draw awareness to the outreach program.
Chapter Ten
After a light lunch, Jenny left to visit her mother shortly after one o’clock. It was Saturday afternoon so she didn’t have to contend with the weekday noon-hour rush. Her mother’s care home was only fifteen minutes away. They’d purposely chosen it for that reason. However, with Jenny’s plan to move to an apartment in the west end, it would take at least thirty minutes to make the trek.
“Oh well, I’ll just have to try to drive over when the traffic is not so busy,” she reasoned.
Her mother was sleeping when Jenny entered. She looked so peaceful and at rest. Jenny tiptoed over to a nearby chair and sat down. As she waited in the silence, she thought about how her mom’s life hadn’t been so fulfilling, either. Her father had been both a workaholic and an alcoholic. Though her mother had never shared her feelings, Jenny knew it had to be painful to see both conditions eventually kill his body and spirit. He had given so much of his life to his company and in the end, it was all for naught; he was forced to resign.
Jenny slipped into one of those rare philosophical times she allowed herself. Life had been so cruel to her on the outside, but really, many of the things had happened because of her thoughts and choices. She hadn’t heeded her father’s advice and lived 22 years in a loveless marriage that had come to an end.
“Oh, Jenny, don’t be so morbid about it all,” she chided herself. “Sure you’ve made some fo
olish choices, but it’s never too late to start over. Each and every moment in the present is an opportunity to begin again. Each and every day is a new day. Look how well you started out today. Just get on with it, create your own future by living fully in each and every moment. You are now free of James’ hold, you are still young, just make the best of the time you have left.” And then more audibly she added, “Amen.”
Her mother’s eyelids fluttered open and her gaze fell upon her daughter sitting in the chair off to the side. She smiled as she took in her daughter’s beauty. Jenny’s eyes drifted back towards her mother’s bed.
“Oh, hi, Mom. I see you are awake.”
“Yes, I was just admiring my beautiful daughter. You look lovely in yellow, Jenny. It so compliments your golden wheat hair.”
“Thank you, Mom. You looked so peaceful I didn’t want to disturb you. I thought I would just wait until you woke up.”
“Oh, please don’t in the future. I so look forward to your visits and am sad when you leave. Every moment you are here is precious to me, so please wake me should I be asleep.”
“Okay, Mom.”
“I couldn’t get to sleep last night. I began to think about what you were going to tell me today. It has to do with James and you, doesn’t it? You said you and James had drifted apart.”
Jenny sat there motionless and emotionless, staring back at her mother. Thoughts about how she would tell her mother had consumed her on the drive over and now, her mom opened the door for her. Jenny made up her mind to be totally open, to allow her mom to enter her real world.
She let it all out. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she revealed her real life with James. She held nothing back, not even what J.J. had said at the bookstore.
“Oh, Mom, I feel partly responsible for not telling James from the beginning about Camilla. But then, James could have been more understanding, too. Another man would have easily accepted it.”
Her mother motioned for her to come closer.
Jenny shuffled her chair nearer to her mother without getting up. When she was near enough, her mother extended her hand and Jenny reached out to receive her mother’s compassion and understanding.
Tears welled up in Edith’s eyes, as well, as slowly the sorrow of what her daughter was going through registered in her mind. She recalled only too well that Sunday evening during dinner when she had unthinkingly revealed Jenny’s rape. James reaction was terrifying.
Oh, my sweet Jenny. What have we done to you? If only she and Ted hadn’t interfered with Jenny’s relationship with that boy in Regina. Jenny had just been so young and they had never realized how much in love they both were. They had thought they knew what was best, but that “best” had ended in disaster. Ted had been right, and Edith realized her husband suffered so much by following her decision. Although Edith never had any doubts about it from the start, she couldn’t deny over the years the anguish her decision had caused.
How unhappy my little girl has been over the years, marrying someone I approved of, someone I thought could buy prestige and happiness. Oh, how wrong I was.
A sharp pain of regret clenched around her. She tightened her grip on Jenny’s hand, trying to squeeze out some measure of forgiveness, without having to tell Jenny the horrible truth of what they had done. How they destroyed all the letters that she had written to Henry and all the letters that Henry had written back to her.
No… not all the letters. There was still one left. Edith wondered if Mrs. Pederson had saved the one for Henry, too? She recalled the pact she and Mary Pederson had made back then, to keep the letters from their children. Edith remembered that at the time, Henry was about to be married in a matter of days and Jenny was planning to marry James the following spring. The revelation of the letters would have complicated things too much and hurt too many people. Had they been wrong in keeping the letters from their children? Would it have been better to bring everything out back then? Just looking back at the years of heartache Jenny had gone through since seemed to confirm that and more.
And what about Henry, Edith wondered? How had his marriage turned out? How many lives had they ruined by their decision to control the lives of their children?
Jenny’s eyes looked red and puffy as she sobbed. Sharing her life and divorce had brought with it so much buried emotion. Edith was glad Jenny opened up to her. This was perhaps the first and only real conversation they’d had as a mother and daughter for years and years, if ever.
Edith no longer wanted to control or convince Jenny that she was wrong, or suggest some quick advice. She finally listened with her heart, instead of her head. Edith chastised herself for not doing so long ago.
“Well, Mom, there it all is. Not very happy news, is it?”
“Oh, Jenny, I truly am so sorry for it all. Please forgive me for not really listening to you sooner. You have carried this all alone for far too long. Oh, where have I been? Please forgive me.”
“It’s not your fault, Mom. You tried your best, and your life hasn’t been easy, either. You have had enough to bear, without me adding to it.”
“But, Jenny, it’s easier to carry a load together than alone. Had we been closer, perhaps we could have talked things out and helped one another.”
“Well, that’s in the past, Mom. What is done is done. What has happened has happened. Hopefully, we have learned from our past and it will make our futures brighter and happier.”
“So, what are you going to do now?”
“Well, I’m moving out the first of next week. I called the landlord of an apartment I saw two weeks ago and he is holding the suite for me until I put down a deposit. And then, after that, I just don’t know. I guess I’ll just take one day at a time as the saying goes.”
“Yes, perhaps that’s all you can do for now,” Edith concurred. “What about J.J.?”
“I just don’t know, Mom. He’s so upset with me and blames me for destroying our marriage. He is so blinded by it all, and so esteems his father, he just won’t listen. And I feel trapped in a way. I don’t want to turn him against his father by trying to convince him to be more understanding and considerate of what I have been going through, how lonely I was and that I had no life at all.”
“Just be patient with him. He’ll come around.”
“I hope so, he’s all I have left and I do love him so.” And after a long moment, she added, “There is Camilla, too. She was 29 years old this past May 24th. I was thinking about calling up the welfare agency to see if there is any chance I might find her. I’m afraid that she has found out she was adopted and hates me for giving her up.”
“Oh, Jenny, you have such a tender heart. Come here.”
Jenny bent over enough to fall into her mother’s extended arms. They warmly embraced one another as Millie walked in with mid-afternoon tea and a plate of cookies.
“My, my, isn’t this a pleasant sight to see. Mom and daughter hugging one another.”
Jenny and Edith separated.
“Oh hi, Millie, just what we both need, a nice cup of tea,” said Jenny.
Millie didn’t linger, but rather walked to the far end of the room, placed the tea and cookies on a table with wheels and then rolled the table between them.
“Thank you, Millie,” said Jenny.
“Oh, you are so welcome, my dear,” replied Millie, as she bustled out.
Edith and Jenny quietly sipped the hot tea and munched on oatmeal cookies.
“These are sure good,” Jenny said, trying to change the subject to something cheerier.
“Yes, I like the way the cook makes them so soft and chewy. I never could get mine that way. Always so hard just like me,” she muttered.
“What was that, Mom?”
“Oh, nothing, Jenny. I’m just angry with myself for not being more observant. I guess I always felt things were not right between you and James, but I always swept it unde
r the carpet, afraid to really look at it, afraid of what I might find and of not being able to handle it; to deal with the truth.” Edith groped for words she was not used to expressing.
“Please, don’t blame yourself. It’s my doing, I could just have easily told you.”
“Well, from now on, no more secrets between us. Everything out in the open,” Edith said, with a tone of conviction.
Thoughts of truth, openness and honesty formed on Edith’s lips. She was getting ready to tell all, but nothing would come out. She had lived a lie for so long. The truth in this situation was too alien to her. She so feared the consequences of what might happen. What if Jenny never forgave her and never wanted to see her again?
“Is there something wrong, Mom, you look so flushed?” Jenny studied her mother and a thought from the past popped in her mind. “It reminds me of a time so long ago, when we were sitting in the kitchen of our home on the estate shortly after Daddy died and there was that brown paper bag sitting on the kitchen table. There was something inside it that you didn’t want me to see. You have the same look on your face now, as you did then.
“What was in that bag, Mom? I’ve always wondered about it.” Jenny looked at her mother, waiting for an answer.
Edith’s heart jumped to her mouth, she was speechless and didn’t know how to answer. She was trapped between truth and consequences. Convicted by her own words just moments ago.
“Mom, what is it? Please, you just said we should start to share all.”
Edith stared at her daughter, trying to think of the right words to say, words that would soften the blow, words that would carry enough sorrow to elicit forgiveness, words that would evoke and draw forth understanding, words that would justify their reasoning as to why they did what they did. But those words failed to come to mind. For the first time in her life, Edith found herself speechless. She was sick of the hollow words that carried no feeling or truth from her heart and, yet, she just didn’t know how to express it. This was an area of life that was foreign to her and she felt lost and alone. Tears flowed from her eyes as the gush of her wrongdoing flooded her being. She became too overwhelmed to speak. It would have been the perfect time to share what had happened and what she had done, but she was so afraid of Jenny’s reaction.
The Angelic Occurrence Page 12
