Jenny wondered if it was wise to agree to give J.J. power of attorney. Does it really matter? It doesn’t seem like I’m going to be around much longer. The thought sent shivers down her spine. Perhaps, though, she could provide for Nora and her grandson should some prenuptial agreement be in place that leaves them in a predicament. When the lawyer visited, tomorrow, she would ask to see him privately about changing her will.
Chapter Fifty-Six
Once again, Jenny waited anxiously for J.J. and his family. It was almost 10:30 a.m. and still no sign of them. If they would at least phone. She had prayed since she woke up that she and her son could reconcile and free themselves from the terrible bondage that separation and unforgiveness had kept them in.
Jenny knew her son was suffering as well, but was too proud to admit it. He simply doesn’t realize how his anger, hatred and unforgiveness was cheating him out of a happy life. His future will forever be shaped by this present turmoil. Oh Lord, please help him and…us.
Jenny knew that unless they healed their relationship she could never tell J.J. of his half-sister. It would be so wonderful for him to know of Camilla and that she was a part of their family. It concerned Jenny that if Camilla ever searched for her birth mother and she were gone that J.J. would never accept his step-sister. And if Camilla approached J.J. without their reconciling, he probably would hold it against her. He would see Camilla as the result of her mother’s promiscuity only adding more proof of her illicit relationship with the bookstore dealer. The entire situation was a mess and Jenny simply didn’t know how to deal with it. Nervous exhaustion crept in, but she didn’t want to ask for a sedative. If she fell asleep they might just come and go and not wake her.
At noon, an attendant brought Jenny her meal.
“Hi, Ms. Hamilton, I hope you’re hungry. The asparagus smells so good I’m tempted to snitch some.”
Jenny smiled and remained silent. She was trying to conserve all of what little energy she had left. The lunch before her grew cold and remained untouched. She felt so forlorn, lonely and rejected. For the first time since leaving James, her centredness was threatened and feelings of unworthiness attacked her self-image. J.J.’s behaviour and cold attitude saddened and wounded her. For twenty two years, she’d put up with that kind of a relationship in her marriage and now it was perpetuated by her son. He was the perfect clone of his father. James had taught J.J. very well.
The minutes ticked away and grew into an hour and then another. Finally, shortly after 2:00 Jenny heard them approaching her room. By now she was tired and exhausted from the waiting and the tension she was experiencing over their relationship. This time, J.J. walked in first with Mr. Dalham behind.
“Hello, Mrs. Hamilton, it’s been awhile since I saw you.”
“Hello, Mr. Dalham.”
“So, how are you feeling?”
“Way too exhausted to go through with all the paper work about to take place. I’m so glad to have J.J. home to help me.” She looked appreciatively towards J.J..
“Hi, Marjorie,” said Nora, as she entered, holding James the Third.
“Hi, Nora.” She looked a little tired. She hoped they weren’t quarrelling on her part. Turning back to Mr. Dalham, Jenny asked, “So, do you have some papers for me to sign?” She wanted to dispense with that as quickly as possible.
“Yes, J.J. told me that you wished to give him power of attorney to look after your estate.”
“Yes, that is correct.”
“It is my duty to inform you, Mrs. Hamilton, that once you sign these papers J.J. will have the right to deal with your estate as he sees fit.”
“Yes, I realize that.”
“I might also add that at any time while you are able, you can terminate this agreement if you feel he is not acting in your best interests.”
“Oh, I’m sure J.J. will do a fine job.” Although Jenny indicated trust in J.J., she was relieved by Mr. Dalham’s comment.
Mr. Dalham rolled the eating table over to Jenny’s bedside. He opened his satchel and pulled out a small tape recorder, turned it on and set it on the table. “I’d like to record the conversation just as a backup in case there is any dispute down the line. Is that okay with you, Mrs. Hamilton?”
“Yes, that’s fine.”
Mr. Dalham looked towards J.J. and he nodded. He turned back to Jenny. “J.J. signed these papers in my office. Please look them over carefully, I think I have all the information correct. Your full name is Marjorie J. Hamilton and your birthday is 1941, March 20th.”
“Yes, that is correct.”
“I have your social insurance number on file from last time.” He handed the three papers to Jenny.
“I will never be able to read all this.”
“Essentially, Mrs. Hamilton, you are giving complete power over to your son to look after your affairs. Now, until such time as you are completely unable to do so, you can still override his wishes if you so desire and you can also remove his power at any time,,” Mr. Dalham reiterated.
Jenny stared at the lawyer and was reminded of the last time she signed the spousal agreement without fully understanding the meaning of what she was signing. She hoped she was doing the right thing.
“So, where do I sign?” Jenny said. Time was running out and she still wanted to talk to J.J. alone and spend some time with her grandson.
Mr. Dalham flipped the papers to the last page. Jenny saw J.J.’s signature on the paper and Mr. Dalham’s signature beside as a witness. Jenny picked up the pen on the table and signed the paper. Mr. Dalham took a duplicate set from his briefcase and asked Jenny to sign a second copy.
“Most institutions take a duplicate copy, but some still insist on seeing the original, should J.J. have any difficulties securing your funds to look after you when you require it.”
After Jenny signed the papers, Mr. Dalham witnessed it. He placed one copy in a brown envelope and handed it to J.J.. The second copy he kept for his own records. He turned off the tape recorder and returned it to his briefcase. “It’s been a pleasure seeing you again, Mrs. Hamilton.”
“Perhaps in a week or so Mr. Dalham if you can make the time, I would like to see you again.”
Mr. Dalham studied Jenny for a moment.
“It’s in regards to my will. There is something I want to add.”
“Certainly, Mrs. Hamilton, I will call ahead, next week, and make an appointment with you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Dalham, it was very kind of you to come to the nursing home.”
“No problem, Mrs. Hamilton.” He turned and shook hands with J.J. and Nora and touched little Jimmy on the head and left.
“Well, I’m glad that’s over with.” Jenny felt tired, hot and flushed.
“Are you okay, Marjorie?” asked Nora, as she walked over to where Mr. Dalham had stood before.
“Oh, yes. All this business, papers and such, it’s all too much for me.”
“Yes, I know what you mean. J.J. looks after all that in our household, too.”
That last comment only added further tension to Jenny’s nervousness. She wanted to encourage Nora to take an interest in the family finances, but now was not the time. She turned to J.J..
“Thank you for coming to Regina and helping me with all this, J.J..”
J.J. nodded with a look of indifference.
It was almost 3:30 p.m. “Oh my, it’s getting late, I so hoped you would be able to come this morning.”
“By the time I signed the listing papers with Ben Walker and then meeting with the lawyer, it took up most of the morning.”
“Here, Nora, please push the table away and bring Jimmy down to me. How is my boy, this afternoon?” Jenny said, as she received Jimmy beside her in bed. She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. “Oh, I could spoil you in no time.” She tickled him in the tummy and he laughed. Jenny did it, again, and little James laughed harder. “Oh,
that’s my boy.” Jenny hugged him, again.
J.J. hopped from one leg to the other. Jenny knew he felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave.
Oh, J.J. How simple and easy life can be, how happy we can be. Please don’t let this opportunity of healing slip away. Lord help him come to me, let us both feel liberation and freedom from the past. It will cripple J.J. and doom us to a life of mediocrity and regret.
Perhaps J.J. felt her mind messages of hope for peace between them, but the only awareness he gave of anything to was his watch.
“Oh, I can’t believe it’s time for you to go. This is all so quick; hardly had a chance to visit. Did you manage to see a little bit of the city?”
“There’s not much to see,” J.J. said. “We can’t believe how dead everything is after 5:00 p.m. The streets are deserted.”
“Yes, the downtown shuts down pretty quickly, but there is still a lot of activity, especially in the south and east ends of the city. People usually stay closer to home rather than come way back downtown after work.”
“But it only takes a few minutes, not like in Ottawa where it can take an hour or more,” challenged J.J..
“Well, that’s the difference between a large and small city.”
“I can’t believe you moved here. There’s nothing—”
“Oh, but I love it, here,” interjected Jenny. “I like a smaller city. Since spring I have made some very good friends. It’s so easy to get around and there’s theatre and the library and very nice restaurants, just like in a bigger city, only on a smaller scale perhaps.”
“Well, you would never get me moving to a place like this. And flying here, I noticed there is no landscape to speak of, just flat land, don’t you miss the trees?”
“Actually, the city and the prairies grow on you, you can see for miles and miles, almost to the end of the world and the sunsets and sunrises are spectacular.”
“Well, the sunsets in Ottawa look pretty good to me.”
“Now, J.J., Marjorie likes it, here, and that’s the important thing.” Nora interjected, once again trying to come to the rescue. “Actually, Marjorie, I like small cities, too. I would feel very safe here raising a family.”
“Ottawa is safe, too. I’m sure the crime rate is about the same,” J.J. countered.
“Well, enough of that, when are you coming back for another visit?”
J.J. didn’t answer.
“Maybe next summer we may be able to come back, again,” said Nora and then her eyes brightened with hope. “Perhaps you will be well enough to come to Ottawa.”
“Yes, I sure hope I get over this nonsense. I would so much like to travel and see all the places I’ve only read about in books. But authors have a way of making everything sound so exotic and romantic. I get easily drawn into that.”
J.J. shuffled. Jenny realized that he took her last comment as confirmation that she was easily drawn into romantic ventures, especially with the bookstore dealer. Jenny quickly changed the subject.
“I suppose you are very busy at work, J.J..”
“Yes, very busy, Marjorie. I am taking over more and more responsibility since dad’s operation.”
“Oh? What kind of operation, J.J.?”
J.J. hesitated and then said, “He had cancer removed from his prostate. The doctors got it all and he’s back at work, now.”
“I’m so glad he’s better.”
J.J. stared at his mother questioning her sincerity.
Once again, Nora came to the rescue. “Yes, J.J. is hardly at home—”
“Well, someone has to make a living.”
“Really, J.J., I suppose what I do isn’t considered work,” she tried to say in a teasing way.
J.J. shook his head.
Jenny couldn’t get over how much J.J. was like his father. Mr. Know It All and perfect in every way, no time for anybody or anything. It’s all work, and more work, and business and more business.
“Will we be able to have a little private chat before you go, J.J.?”
J.J. winced.
Nora looked at J.J.. “We do have a little time. I will take Jimmy for a walk down the hall and you can have a talk—”
J.J. checked his watch again, “It’s almost four, we have to get to the airport, return the car, and it would drive me crazy if we missed our flight and had to stay another night. Maybe next time, Marj,” said J.J. tersely and with a furtive glance her way, “We really must go now.”
Nora looked upset with him and lowered her head trying not to show her disappointment. Jenny too, used every ounce of strength she had left to hide her distress and fend off complete devastation.
“Well, it’s been so nice to meet you in person, Nora, and to finally see my little treasure, here.” Jenny looked down at Jimmy and squeezed him.
“Yes, it’s been so nice to see you, too, and you’re right, we must see each other again, soon. That’s what family is all about.” Nora said, not daring to look at J.J..
J.J. shuffled, again, holding back a remark his wife would surely hear as soon as they left.
Nora hoisted Jimmy onto her hip. “Say good-bye to grandma. Well, good-bye, Marjorie. I wish you all the best. I will keep you in my prayers.”
“Thank you, Nora.” Nora bent down and kissed Jenny’s cheek.
Jenny reached out and touched Jimmy’s head at the same time. J.J. was about to turn and walk out when Jenny said, “Please, J.J., come over and give me a good-bye kiss?”
J.J. looked at her.
“Please, J.J.,” Jenny pleaded.
Nora glared coldly at her husband almost in disbelief. J.J. shuffled a bit and then walked to her bedside. Jenny grabbed his hand. It felt stiff and cold. She reached up towards him with her other arm. J.J. bent down and rather than kiss his mother, he turned his cheek towards her. Her trembling lips touched his cheek briefly and he immediately straightened. They looked at each other for a brief moment. Jenny was still holding onto his other hand and could feel him resisting slightly and then he pulled his hand free.
“Thank you for coming, J.J., and thank you for looking after everything for me. I really need you. You’re all I have.”
J.J. didn’t respond for a long moment. “Take care, Marj.”
“Oh, please, J.J., call me ‘Mom.’”
J.J. looked at his mother. “Yeah, sure.” For him to swallow his pride and give in to his dying mother’s final request was as impossible for him as it would be for Jenny to hate. His heart had hardened too much under the tutelage of a father who was incapable of instilling love for others.
Nora had tears in her eyes in embarrassment and disgrace over her husband’s lack of compassion, and heartless behaviour. She wanted to call Marjorie, Mom, but didn’t want to upstage her husband or force him into yielding to his mother’s request. It had to come freely, from his heart to be of any value.
“Bye, Mar…Jenn. Yes, bye, Jenny,” Nora dared say, offering some consolation, as she walked out of the room.
Nora’s gesture pushed tears to the edge of Jenny’s heart. Fear that she would never reconcile with her son before her death gripped her stomach into such a tight knot it restricted her breath. She brought both of her hands up to her chest and with her right hand she clutched her guardian angel.
“Bye, J.J..” Her lips quivered, her eyes begged for some sign of love and warmth.
J.J. just stood there, frozen in time. At that instant he had the power to change destiny for himself, his mother and not only be a model for his family to admire, but change his own family life for the better. He didn’t realize how close he was to what really mattered in life. It was right under his nose and he didn’t see it. Love, family, forgiveness, understanding, kindness were the values that would give him happiness and true success.
In his world, however, such ideals and principles were almost alien to him. His values w
ere based upon pursuit of money, wealth, possessions, acquisitions and retaliation. He had bought into the belief that happiness would soon be his. One more buyout and he would be at the top, but it never was. The void he was trying to fill could never be filled. He was trapped in a vicious cycle, always in pursuit of a false dream, an illusion.
J.J. looked into his mother’s pleading eyes. He knew what she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear that she was loved, a word of affection, but all he said was, “Good-bye.” Neither ‘Marjorie’ nor ‘Mom’ could further utter from his stiff cold lips. He turned and walked out the door, not realizing he’d failed to close the biggest deal he could ever have made in all his life. Just a few words of kindness and love could have purchased him a treasure beyond his wildest dreams.
Jenny held back for as long as she could until they were far enough down the hall before she burst into tears of sadness and sorrow, her feelings of utter despair.
“Oh, God, why is this all happening to me?” Her knuckles turned white as she squeezed the pewter angel in her hand, trying desperately to wring out any love she could. Even the metal angel gave her more comfort and warmth than her son, her own flesh and blood.
In the days which followed, Jenny was too sick and heavily sedated to think about her home. She didn’t know that J.J. had never gone back to her house and sorted things out. All of her private things were left exactly as they were. Potential buyers and real estate people traipsed in and out, uncaringly handling Jenny’s precious things. Whoever would purchase Jenny’s house would literally take possession not only of the house, but another person’s inner life as well.
Many people viewed the house and had very positive comments. In fact, most ranted and raved over the layout design and the tasteful furniture. The realtors were surprised it hadn’t sold instantly. Perhaps if it had been summer time and people had seen the beautiful garden Jenny had created, the house might have sold sooner. But perhaps, it was just waiting for the right buyer, a very special buyer who would completely appreciate the house and the treasures therein.
The Angelic Occurrence Page 53
