"I will need to take this away with me," she told Drusil tel'Bana, waving a hand at the littered table. "I will require permission to go through his files—the computer. The books."
"Such permissions are on file from the Scholar Chairman of the University. If you find it necessary to take anything else, only ask me, Scholar, and I shall arrange all." The Liaden scholar rose and went to the desk, pulled open a drawer and extracted a carry-case.
"What you have upon the table should fit in here, I think."
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Love: the delusion that one woman differs from another.
—H. L. Mencken
"Sacrifice?"
Er Thom sagged to the edge of the desk, staring at Daav out of stunned purple eyes.
"Anne said it would be a sacrifice for me to become her lifemate?"
"She stopped short of the actual word," Daav acknowledged, "but I believe the sentence was walking in that direction, yes."
"I—" He glanced aside, moved a slender, ringless hand and rubbed Relchin's ears.
"There—must be an error," he said as the big cat began to purr. "She cannot have understood." He looked back to Daav.
"Anne is not always as—certain—of the High Tongue as—"
"We were speaking Terran," Daav interrupted and Er Thom blinked.
"I—do not understand."
"She said that, also." Daav sighed, relenting somewhat in the face of his brother's bewilderment. "She admits to being in love with you, darling—very frank, your Anne! However, she is sensible that a Terran lover makes you vulnerable, as she would have it, and that a Terran wife must make you doubly so." He smiled, wryly. "An astonishingly accurate summation, given that she does not play."
Er Thom chewed his lip.
"She asked me," he said, all his confusion plain for the other to read. "She asked me to guard her melant'i."
"She did?" Daav blinked. "In—traditional—manner?"
"We were speaking Terran," Er Thom said slowly. "Last evening, when I had gone to escort her to Prime. We were about to leave her apartment and she suddenly paused and looked at me with—with all of her heart in her face. And she said, Don't let me make a mistake …"
"And you accepted this burden on her behalf?"
"With joy. It was the avowal I had longed for, which she had not given, though there was certainly sufficient else between us—" He broke off, eyes wide. "It was plain," he said stubbornly. 'There could have been no error."
"And yet," Daav said, "the lady spoke—plainly, I assure you!—of her intention to show you a dry face, when time had come for her to end her guesting and return to University."
"No." Er Thom's voice broke on the denial. He cleared his throat. "No. She cannot—"
Daav frowned. "Would you deny an adult person the right to her own necessities?"
"Certainly not! It is only that there must be some error, some nuance I am too stupid to see. Anne is honorable. To ask for the care of a lifemate and in the next breath speak of giving nubiath'a—it is not her way. Something has gone awry. Something—"
"And how," Daav cut in gently, hating what he must put forth, "if the lady asked not for lifemate's care, but for that of kin?"
"Kin?" Er Thom's face showed blank astonishment. "I am no kin of Anne."
"Yet her son is accepted of Korval," Daav murmured, "which might encourage her to believe herself in a manner— kin—to you."
A vivid image of Anne's body moving under him, a recollection of her kiss, her face transcendent with desire—Er Thom glanced up. "I am not persuaded she believes any such thing."
"Hah." Daav's lips twitched, straightened.
"Another way, then. Understand that I honor her abilities in the High Tongue. However, you, yourself, say her proficiency sometime wavers. How if her understanding of custom is likewise uncertain? How if she should consider that a guest of the House might ask this thing of a son of the House?" He moved his shoulders.
"She has already made one error of custom, has she not?" He asked his brother's stubborn eyes. "In the matter of naming the child?"
"Yes," Er Thom admitted after a moment. "But there is no—" He broke off, sighing sharply.
"I shall endeavor to arrive at plain speaking," he said slowly, "and show Anne—" He stopped, wariness showing in his face.
"Is it—possible—that the delm will allow a lifemating between myself and Anne Davis?"
"The delm…" Daav moved from his chair, took two steps toward the desk and his brother—and halted, hands flung, palm out, showing all.
"The delm is most likely to ask you to consider what this affair has thus far bought you," he said levelly. "He is likely to ask you to think on the anger of your thodelm, who refuses to See your child, and who is prepared to ring such a peal over you as the world has never witnessed! The delm may ask you to look on the disruption your actions have introduced into the clan entire." He took a gentle breath, meeting his brother's eyes.
"The delm is likely to ask you if another coin might spend to better profit, brother, and the Terran lady released to her necessities."
Er Thom was silent, eyes wide and waiting.
"The delm may well ask," Daav concluded, with utmost gentleness, "that you give this lady up."
"Ah." Er Thom closed his eyes and merely sat, hip on the desk, one foot braced against the carpet, hand quiet along Relchin's back.
"With all respect to the delm," he murmured eventually, and in the Low Tongue, so Daav understood that as yet the delm was safely outside the matter. "Might it be—permitted—to mention that one has striven for several years to put this lady from one's mind?" He opened his eyes, tear-bright as they were.
"Whatever the success of that enterprise, certainly she remained in one's heart." He moved his shoulders, almost a shudder. "The delm needs no reminder of one's—adherence to duty—saving this single thing. To give her up—that is to go now, tonight, to Solcintra, and give myself to the Healers."
And have Anne Davis ripped not only from his memory but from his daily mind, Daav thought, overriding his own shudder. Which commission the Healers certainly would refuse.
However, were Anne Davis to depart according to her stated intention, the Healers would very easily agree to assuage what measure of grief Er Thom might experience from the parting.
Daav stared at his brother's face, seeing the pain there, feeling his longing, and his need.
It's ill-done, he warned himself, though he already knew he would fail to heed his own warning. You set him up to fail; you bait the trap that will spring forgetfulness with that which he most desires to recall…
"Daav?"
He started, went forward and enclosed his brother in embrace. Laying his cheek against the warm, bright hair, he closed his eyes, and allowed himself a fantasy: They were boys again, the lie went, and nothing loomed to mar their love. They were one mind with two bodies, neither ascendant over the other. There was no dark power that one held which with a word would change the other, irrevocably and forever…
"A wager," Daav whispered, never caring that his voice trembled. It did not matter. Er Thom would take the bait. He must.
Daav stepped back and met his brother's eyes. "A wager, darling," he repeated softly.
"Tell me."
"Why, only this: Woo the lady while she is here. Win her— plainly, mind—and with full understanding between you! Win her aye, and win all. The delm shall overrule yos'Galan, the lady shall stand at your side, the child shall be your acknowledged heir. All." His mouth twisted wryly.
"Does your wooing fail to sway the lady from her necessities, then the day she leaves Liad is the day you make your bow to Master Healer Kestra."
"Hah." Er Thom's lips bent in a pale smile, eyes intent on Daav's face.
"Shall I lose, brother?" he asked softly.
"I will tell you," Daav said with the utter truth one owed to kin, "that I think you shall."
"So little faith!" Er Thom moved his shoulders. "It is only a con
tinue of the throw made three years past. The game continues." He smiled more widely and gave a little half-bow from his perch against the desk. "We play on."
Daav returned the bow, speechless and grief-shot, in a fair way to hating delm and clan and homeworld and the necessities the weaving of all created—
"Never mind." Er Thom came off the desk and moved forward, raising a hand to cup Daav's cheek, to trace the line of a bold black brow.
"Never mind, beloved," he whispered, and touched the barbaric silver earring, sending it to trembling. "I shall not lose."
Some hours later, Daav leaned far back in his work chair and stretched mightily, fisted hands high over his head.
"Well," he said, righting himself and glancing over to where Er Thom sat beside him, silently perusing the screen. "Does that cover everything, do you think?"
"I believe it is a solid beginning," Er Thom replied, picking up his glass and sipping. "A contract of formal alliance between Clan Korval and Anne Davis. Free passage on any Korval ship. Right of visit to our son…"
"And half your personal fortune," Daav finished, tasting his own wine. "Your mother will dislike that excessively, darling."
Er Thom shrugged, much as he had earlier when this point had been raised.
"Money is easy to come by," he murmured now, dismissing his parent's displeasure as the merest annoyance. "Why should Anne not have comfort in her life?"
"Why, indeed?" Daav sighed. "I do wonder—"
Er Thom flashed him a quick purple glance. "What is it you wonder?"
"Only if the lady's understanding of custom was equal to the knowledge that her child belongs to Korval. I had the distinct impression that she meant to take him away with her when she returned to University." He sipped wine. "Though I could be mistaken."
"I am certain that she understands that Shan is of Korval," Er Thom said. "We had discussed it—several times."
"Quite a donnybrook, as the lady described it," Daav agreed. "Still, I wonder if she does know."
"Since I am already embarked upon a mission of clarity, I shall undertake to be certain that she does." Er Thom frowned. "What is a donnybrook!"
"An argument," Daav murmured, "named in honor, or so I am told, of a possibly mythic town on Terra where fisticuffs is the pastime of choice." He grinned. "A language to love, admit it!"
"I fear my proficiency falters daily," Er Thom said mournfully. Far down the hall, a clock could be heard striking the hour.
"Gods, only hear the time! And I expected early at Port tomorrow—"
Daav eyed him doubtfully. "Are you?"
"Yes, certainly. I must tend some matters on the Passage first, then there are orders to place, people to see…"
"Naturally enough, since you have been away for some time. However," Daav hesitated.
"Your thodelm expects there is no reason for you to go into Port. Or so she said."
Er Thom glanced down at his naked hands; back to Daav's face.
"My thodelm," he said levelly, "is—alas—mistaken."
"Yes," Daav agreed, "I thought that she might be." He waved a hand at the screen. "Get you home, then. I shall send this lot on to Mr. dea'Gauss. He should have the framed contracts to you within a two-day. You and I can then discuss any modifications that may be necessary before the final papers are presented to Anne."
"All right." Er Thom rose and smiled. "Thank you, Daav."
"Thank me, is it? Go home, darling, you're in your cups."
He let himself in through the door off the East Patio and went, surefooted and quiet, through halls illuminated by night-dims.
In the upper hallway, he lay his hand against a door-plate, and stepped gently into the darkened room beyond.
Anne lay in the long, wide bed, fast asleep in the wash of star shine from the open skylight. She looked vulnerable, thus, and incalculably precious: a jewel for which a man must gamble—and never think of losing.
He sighed as he stood over her, for he understood Daav's wager well enough, knew the dangers that dodged his steps and his brother's distress—who could have no less failed to offer the wager than Er Thom declined to take it. To be delm was an awesome and perilous duty. Daav had never wanted the Ring, which was Er Thom's certain knowledge. He had, indeed, begged his delm to pass him by, to place the Ring in abler hands—
In Er Thom's hands.
She had refused, which was wisdom, and Daav was thus Korval, gods pity him. Daav possessed full measure that trait which allowed him to offer such a thing as this twisty wager to his cha'leket, expecting him to fail—for the good of the clan.
It is a terrible thing, Er Thom thought, leaning above his sleeping love, for a delm to have a brother.
Beneath the star-glown blanket, Anne stirred and lifted a hand.
"Er Thom?" Sleep-drugged and beautiful, her voice. He caught her questing hand and bent to gently kiss the palm.
"Hush, sweeting," he murmured, soothing in the Low Tongue. "I had not meant to wake you. Sleep, now…"
"You, too," she insisted in Terran. "It's late."
"Indeed, and I am to go early to Port…"
"Tell the computer to wake you up," she mumbled, her hand going slack in his as she slid back toward sleep. "Come to bed…"
With exquisite care, he lay her hand back atop the coverlet, then stood still in the starlight, watching her and recalling what his thodelm had ordered.
Thinking on Daav's damned, labyrinthine wager.
Woo the lady. Win her aye and win all…
Anne feared that a lifemate's burden of shared melant'i put him at risk in the world. Such fear did her only honor, so he considered it, and proved—if it happened he required proof— the depth of her love.
To win her, he must cross custom one final time, show her his heart and his innermost mind—as if they were already lifemated many years.
There was nothing dishonorable in such a path, as he conceived it. Anne was the one his heart had chosen; his lifemate, in truth, whatever a new dawn might bring.
Decided, he crossed the room to the house console and tapped in instructions to wake him at dawn.
Back at the bed, he removed his clothing and slid under the covers, curled against Anne's warmth—and plummeted into sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
A person of melant'i deceives by neither word nor deed and shall have no cause to hide his face from the world.
—Excerpted from the Liaden Code of Proper Conduct
He entered his office aboard Dutiful Passage, jacket collar still turned up against the rain in the Port below. One moment he paused as the door shut behind him, eyes closed, breathing in the elusive taste of ship's air, listening to the myriad, usual sounds that meant the Passage was alive all around him.
Sighing with something like relief, he opened his eyes and crossed the room to his desk, spinning the screen around to face him.
Twenty minutes later, he was still standing there, quick fingers plying the keypad. He barely registered the whisper of the door opening at his back and very nearly started at his first mate's voice.
"Ah, you are here!" Kayzin Ne'Zame exclaimed in Comrade, the mode in which they usually conversed. "I might have known you'd come up ahead of the early shuttle. Felicitations, old friend, on Korval's acceptance of your child! When shall I be pleased to make his acquain—"
Er Thom took a careful breath and deliberately turned to face her, hands in plain sight.
She chopped off in mid-word, her eyes leaping to his.
"Old friend?" Very careful, that tone, even from Kayzin, who had known him from his twelfth name day. Almost, Er Thom sighed.
Instead, he gave her courtesy, and the gentleness due a friend.
"My rating is intact," he murmured, gesturing toward the computer. "You may call the Guild Hall to be certain, if you wish."
"Yes, naturally." She moved her shoulders. "Ken Rik is concerned of Number Eighteen Pod and requests the captain's earliest attention. The radio-tech sent by the Guild was—una
ble to meet our standards. I took the liberty of dispatching her Port-side. Shipment from Trellen's World will meet us at Arsdred, something about the trans-ship company's credit record. I will look into that, of course…"
Er Thom leaned a hip against the desk and Kayzin drifted over to perch on the edge of a chair, both caught in the business they knew best, no blame nor shadow of doubt between them.
The afternoon among the warehouses was slightly less felicitous than the morning on his ship. There were none who actually refused to take his requisitions, though there were enough glances askance to leave one's belly full down the length of a long lifetime.
One fellow did demand a cantra to "hold" the order, to the very visible horror of his second. Er Thom gave him a long stare, then flicked the coin from his pocket to land, spinning, on the counter.
"A receipt," he said, entirely bland. The merchantman swallowed.
"Of course, Master Trader," he stammered, fingers jamming at the keys.
Still bland, Er Thom took the offered paper and gave it leisurely perusal before folding it into his pocket and going his way, setting his boot heels deliberately against the worn stone floor.
Some while later, he was in the public room of the Trade Bar, having just concluded a trifle of business with Zar Kin pel'Odma. Wily old trader that he was, Zar Kin had not allowed himself even a glance at Master Trader yos'Galan's hands. Which, Er Thom thought, sipping a glass of cold, sweet wine, told as much about Trader pel'Odma's melant'i as it did about the speed at which news traveled, Port-side.
He touched the port-comm's power-off, sipped again at his wine and closed his eyes, wondering if it were worth walking to the Avenue of Jewels on the chance that Master Jeweler Moonel would be disposed to see him.
"Captain yos'Galan, how fortunate to find you here, sir!"
The voice was not immediately familiar, the accent unabashedly Chonselta.
Er Thom opened his eyes and looked up, encountering a pair of hard gray eyes in a determinedly merry face. Her hair was also gray and clipped close to her skull in the manner favored by Terran pilots. It was a style that showed her ears to advantage, and all the dozen earrings piercing each. On her hands she wore, not the expected hodgepodge jewelry of a Port-rat, but a single large amethyst, carved with the symbol of the Trader's Guild.
Lee, Sharon & Miller, Steve - Liaden Books 1-9 Page 187
