"I regret, sir. My child requires attention. Another time and we shall talk."
"Another time." Fil Tor Kinrae bowed precisely. "An honor to meet you, Scholar Davis."
"An honor to meet you, as well." Anne barely knew what she replied. Shan was never—never—afraid of strangers. Her stomach cramped in fear as she turned and walked rapidly down the hall, toward the carport.
The patient driver settled them in the back of the car and wasted no time in putting the campus behind them. Gradually, Shan's shivering stilled. He sighed and snuggled into her arms.
"OK now, Shannie?"
"Uh-huh."
Anne rubbed her cheek against his hair, feeling decidedly better herself. Really, she thought. Of all the foolish starts, Annie Davis…
"What happened?" she asked her son softly.
He pushed his face against her neck.
"No sparkles," he whispered—and shuddered.
She was leaving the nursery, her thoughts on finding Er Thom, when she was intercepted by no less a personage than the yos'Galan butler.
"Scholar Davis." Stately and austere, he inclined his head. "Thodelm yos'Galan requests the pleasure of your company in the Small Parlor."
Which request, she thought wryly, had the force of command. She stifled a sigh and inclined her head.
"I shall be delighted to bear Thodelm yos'Galan company," she said, glad that the Mode of Acceptance leached any flavor of untruth from her words.
"Follow me, please," the butler replied, and turned briskly on his heel.
"Wine for Scholar Davis," Petrella yos'Galan directed and wine there was.
Mr. pak'Ora also refreshed the cup on the table at the old woman's side, then left, the door snicking shut behind him.
Petrella took up her wine and sipped, her movements firm and formal. Anne followed suit—a solitary taste of wine, and the glass put gently aside.
"You are comfortable in our house, Scholar?" Petrella's choice of mode this evening was Host to Guest.
Anne inclined her head and responded in like mode. "I am extremely comfortable. Thank you for your care, ma'am."
"Hah." Petrella glanced down, made a minute adjustment to the enameled ring she wore on the second finger of her left hand. Abruptly, she looked up, faded blue eyes intense.
"Your command of the High Tongue is praiseworthy, if I may extend a compliment," she said with formal coolness. "It is perhaps not to be expected that your grasp of custom be so exact." She smiled, slightly, coolly. "Indeed, I know well how slippery custom becomes, world-to-world. One would require Scout's eyes, to never err. Few of us, alas, are able to achieve so wide an understanding."
Anne eyed her dubiously, wondering if the old lady were going to give her a tongue-lashing for missing dinner. She inclined her head carefully.
"One hears that Captain yos'Galan's cha'leket had been a Scout."
"So he had. The children of yos'Phelium are often sent to the Scouts; it's found the training tames them." She paused. "The Scouts teach that all custom is equally compelling, which may well be true in the wide galaxy. On Liad, matters are quite otherwise."
Anne kept silent, hands folded tightly in her lap, waiting for her host to come to the point.
A smile ghosted Petrella's pale lips and she inclined her head as if the younger woman had spoken.
"A word in your ear, Scholar Davis?"
"Certainly."
"You have," Petrella said after a moment, "borne my son a child. Understand that we are grateful. At such a time in the clan's history, when the Line Direct is become so few, every child, no matter how irregularly gotten, is a jewel. You must never doubt that the clan's gratitude shall show itself fitly, nor that the child shall receive all care, nuturance and tutelage."
She paused, eyes sharp, and Anne hoped fervently that her face was properly bland, giving away nothing of her bewilderment.
"Necessity, however, exists," Petrella continued slowly. "It existed before the advent of yourself and the child you give to Korval. It exists now, unchanged. As much as your son shall be a treasure to the clan, it cannot be denied that he is but half of the Book of Clans. Such a one cannot be accepted as the heir of he who will soon be Thodelm yos'Galan. The a'thodelm is aware of this. He is also aware that a contract-wife has been chosen for him and that he is required now to wed. Indeed, a gathering in honor of the to-be-signed contract shall be held in this house two evenings hence. You are welcome to attend the gather, should you care to wish the a'thodelm and his bride happy."
Care to wish him happy? Anne thought, around a jag of icy, incredulous grief. Could ye not have waited until I was gone? She wanted to scream the question at the woman across from her. Instead, she swallowed and remained silent, hands fisted on her lap, face determinedly smooth.
Once more, Petrella's faded eyes scrutinized. Once more, she inclined her head as if Anne had made some fitting reply. "My son speaks highly of you, Scholar. I believe that such if I delight as you shared must long remain in fond memory.
However, it is now time for the a'thodelm to do his duty. He will expect you to stand aside." She glanced down, rubbing her ring with an absent forefinger.
"Surely," she murmured, eyes coming back to Anne's face, "even among Terrans a pleasure-love must yield to a wife."
Sleep again, darling, Er Thom murmured tenderly in memory.
Confusion washed through her, threatening to tear away her fragile mask of calm; she thought she must be trembling. Fatal to call Thodelm yos'Galan's word into question. Even to ask for a clarification of Shan's status in Clan Korval would expose weakness, make her vulnerable…
Carefully, she inclined her head.
"I am grateful for the care of the House," she said, concentrating on keeping precisely to the mode of Guest to Host. "Naturally, one would not wish to be untoward…" It was all she could think of, but it seemed it was sufficient.
Petrella smiled her cool, ravaged smile and raised a hand on which the thodelm's enameled band spun loosely.
"Pray do not say more. It is the honor of the House to guide the guest."
"Yes, of course." Anne stood, desperately willing her trembling legs to support her, and made her bow to the host. "I am certain you will forgive me for leaving you so soon," she said, though she was certain of no such thing. "My day was long and somewhat arduous. I feel the need of rest."
"Certainly," Petrella said, moving her hand with a remnant of grace. "Good health to the guest."
"And to the host," Anne responded properly, and forced herself to walk, slow and steady, from the room.
CHAPTER THIRTY
A Healer should be contracted to attend every birth for the purpose of keeping the mother's soul attached to her body and for easing the way through childbirth.
Such attention is doubly necessary in the case of one who has the honor to bear a child for an allied clan. In this instance, the child's clan must instruct the Healer in addition to blur memory and assuage any painful emotions the mother may otherwise experience.
A Healer should also be summoned before the one who gave the child-seed rejoins his own kin.
—From The Liaden Code of Proper Conduct
The child shall receive all care, nuturance and tutelage…
Sleep again, darling…
Even among Terrans, a pleasure-love must yield to a wife…
I am not a thief, to steal our son…
No sparkles!
The clan shall show its gratitude—
"Anne?"
Gasping, she spun, hands outflung, half-curled and protective.
Er Thom caught both, his fingers shockingly warm, reassuringly strong. Her friend, her love, her ally against Liad and the terrors of Liaden custom—
Who had lied, after all, and stolen her son; who came to bed with endearments in his mouth even as he planned to wed someone other—
"Anne!" His grip tightened; worried violet eyes looked up at her out of a face that showed clear consternation.
She m
ade a supreme, racking effort. Fatal to antagonize Er Thom. Fatal to assume, to assume—
"You're hurting me." Her voice sounded flat, cold as iron. Cold iron, to bane an elf-prince…
His fingers eased, but he did not let her go. Face turned to hers, concern showing plain as if it were real, he bespoke her in the Low Tongue.
"What has happened, beloved? You tremble…"
"I've just come from your mother—" She blurted the truth in Terran before she considered what lie would best cover her agitation.
But it seemed the truth served her purpose very well. Anger darkened Er Thom's eyes, his mouth tightened ominously.
"I see. We must speak." He glanced around the hallway. "Here." He tugged on her hands. "Please, Anne. Come and sit with me."
She let him lead her down the unfamiliar hall, into a room shrouded in covers, illuminated by the dusty light from a center-hung chandelier.
Her mind was working now, smoothly and with preternatural efficiency, laying out plans in some place that was beyond pain and bewilderment, that was concerned only with necessity.
"Here," Er Thom said again, his Terran somewhat blurred—a certain sign of his own agitation. He left her to swirl a dust-sheet from the sofa before the dead hearth, rolled the cloth into a hasty bundle and cast it aside.
"Please, Anne. Sit."
She did, curling into the high-swept corner. Er Thom sat next to her, turned sideways, one knee crooked on the faded brocade seat, one elbow propped along the back cushion. He looked elegant, all grace and beauty in his wide-sleeved shirt and soft-napped trousers. Anne looked away.
"My mother has distressed you," Er Thom said gently. "I regret that. Will you tell me what she has said?"
She considered that, deliberately cold. First and foremost, she must have verification of her worst suspicions. Yet she must gain such verification without alerting Er Thom to her plan.
"Your mother—confused me—on a couple things. I thought I understood—" She hesitated, then forced herself to meet his eyes.
"Shan is accepted of Clan Korval, isn't he?"
Something flickered in Er Thom's eyes, gone too quickly for her to read.
"Yes, certainly."
"But your mother said that he wasn't—wasn't good enough to be your heir," Anne pursued, watching him closely.
Anger showed again, though she sensed it was for his mother and not for herself. He extended a slim, ringless hand. "Anne—"
"It's just—" She glanced at the dead hearth, feeling how rapidly her heart beat. Gods, gods, I'm no good at this…
"It's that—" she told the cold bricks, "if Shannie's going to be a burden on your clan, maybe it would be best if I just took him back to University—"
"Ah." His hand gripped her knee very briefly; her flesh tingled through the cloth of her trousers. "Of course Shan shall not be a burden upon the clan. The clan welcomes children— and doubly welcomes such a child as our son! To snatch him away from kin and homeplace, when the clan has just now embraced him as its own…" He smiled at her, tentatively.
"Try to understand, denubia. My mother is—old world. She has held always by the Book of Clans, by the Code—by Liad. To change now, when she is ill and has lost so much in service of the clan—" He moved his shoulders. "I do not think that she can. Nor, in respect, must we who hold her closest demand such change of her." He seemed for an instant to hesitate. One hand rose toward her cheek—and fell again to his knee.
"I regret—very much—that she found it necessary to speak to you in such terms of our son. If you will accept it, I ask that you take my apology as hers."
A rock seemed lodged in her throat, blocking words, nearly blocking breath. That he could plead so sweetly for a parent who showed him not an ounce of affection, who ordered him to her side as if he were her slave rather than her son… Anne managed at last to get a breath past the blockage in her throat.
Verification, announced the strange new part of her mind that was busily molding its plans. We proceed.
"I—of course I forgive her," she told the hearth-stones. "Change is difficult, even for those of us who aren't—old— and—and ill…" She cleared her throat sharply and closed her eyes, hearing her heartbeat pounding, crazy, in her ears.
"I find I'm to wish you happy," she whispered, and there was no iron in her voice now at all. "Your mother tells me you're going to be married—"
"No."
His hands were on her shoulders, his breath shivering the tiny hairs at her temple. Anne shrank back into the corner of the sofa, a sob catching her throat.
"Anne—no, denubia, hear me…" His hands left her shoulders and tenderly cupped her face, turning her, gently, inexorably, toward him. "Please, Anne, you must trust me."
Trust him? When he had just confessed to lying, to kidnapping, to using the trust she had borne him to—no.
On Liad, you won. Or you lost.
It was absolutely imperative that she win.
She allowed him to turn her face. She opened her eyes, looked into his and saw, incredibly, tenderness and care and longing in the purple depths.
Er Thom smiled, very gently, ran his thumbs in double caress along her cheekbones before taking his hands away.
"I love you, Anne. Never forget."
"I love you, too," she heard herself say, and it was true, true, gods pity her, and the man had stolen her son.
Never mind, the cold planner in the back of her mind told her. Disarm him with the truth, so much the better. Put any suspicions he may have fast asleep. Then the plan will work.
He sat back, reluctantly, to her eye, and folded his hands carefully on his knee. The face he showed her was earnest, the eyes tender and anxious.
"This marriage which my mother desires," he said softly. "It is old world, and as a dutiful son I should accept the match and give the clan my heir, which is duty long past fruition." He tipped his head, anxiety overriding tenderness for the moment. "You understand, this is the—manner in which things are done—and no slight to you is intended."
"I understand," she said, hearing the iron back in her voice.
Er Thom inclined his head. "So. But it happens that there is you and there is our son and we two—love. There is that bond between us which—after even such a time—remains unabated. Unfilled. That is true, Anne, is it not?"
"True." True…
"I had thought so," he said, very softly, and she saw the shine of tears in his eyes.
"Since we wish not to part—since we wish, indeed, to become lifemates—this marriage that my mother hopes for is— a nothing. I have taken counsel on the matter. A lifemating between us shall be allowed, does the delm hear from your lips that it is your desire as well as my own. Alas, that my mother has sought to—to force the play—striving to divide us and burst asunder the bond we share." He reached out and took her hand; her traitor fingers curled tight around his.
"If we stand together, if we hold now as the lifemates we shall soon become, she cannot win," Er Thom said earnestly. "It will be difficult, perhaps, but we shall carry the day. We need only give her what she desires—in certain measure. She desires to have the lady here to meet me. So we acquiesce, you see? The lady is a child. She does not want me. She wants the consequence of bedding an a'thodelm, of having borne a child to Korval.
"The—infelicity—of the proposed match can easily be shown her, gently and with all respect, in the course of such an affair as my mother plans." His fingers gripped hers painfully, though Anne made no demur.
"We need only stand together," he repeated earnestly. "You must not allow yourself to be frightened into leaving our house. To do so ensures my mother's victory. You must only attend the gather and show a calm face. Why should you not?
When the gather is done, we shall go hand-in-hand before the delm and ask that he acknowledge what already in fact exists."
Lifemates? For a moment it seemed she spun, alone in void, the familiar markers of her life wiped clean away. For a moment, it seemed that here w
as a better plan, that kept her son at her side, and her lover, too, with no duplicity, no lies, no anguish. For a moment, she hovered on the edge of flinging herself into his arms and sobbing out the whole of her pain and confusion, to put everything into his hands for solving—
The moment passed. Cold reason returned. Er Thom had lied. From the very beginning, he had intended to steal Shan from her, though he swore he would do no such thing. There was no reason to believe this plea for lifemates was any truer than his other lies.
"Anne?"
She stared down at her lap, at her fingers, twisted like snakes each about the other, white-knuckled and cold.
"Your mother," she said, and barely recognized her own voice, "will be just as well served if I shame you."
"It is not possible," Er Thom said quietly, "that you will shame me, Anne."
She had thought herself beyond any greater agony, foolish gel. She stared fixedly down at her hands, jaw clenched until she heard bone crack.
"We may go tomorrow into Solcintra," Er Thom continued after a moment, "and arrange for proper dress."
"I—" What ? she asked herself wildly. What will you say to the man, Annie Davis ?
But she had no more to say, after all, than that bare syllable. Er Thom touched her knee lightly.
"Lifemates may offer such things," he murmured, "without insult. Without debt."
Oh, gods… From somewhere, she gleaned the courage to raise her head and meet his eyes levelly.
"Thank you, Er Thom. I—expect I will need a dress for— for the gather."
Joy lit his face, and pride. He smiled, widely, lovingly. "We play on," he said, and laughed lightly. His fingers grazed her cheek. "Courageous Anne."
She swallowed and tried for a smile. It was apparently not an entirely successful effort, for Er Thom rose and offered his arm, all solicitude.
"You are exhausted. Come, let me walk you to your rooms."
In the moment of rising, she froze and stared up into his eyes.
"Anne, what is wrong?"
"I—" Gods, she could not sleep with him. She wouldn't last through one kiss, much less through a night—she would tell him everything, lose everything…
Lee, Sharon & Miller, Steve - Liaden Books 1-9 Page 189
