by Karen Kay
“It would have been so simple,” Black Bear said, “to make your need known. I imagine there were many a widow only too willing to share her blanket with you.”
“I wanted a maiden, a particular maiden…”
“Before marriage?”
Prince Frederick shrugged. “Yes. How was I to know such things are not done? As you can see,” he said, “I had much to learn about your society. A mistake I will not allow you to commit. Come now, let us review again the proper utensil one uses for soup…no, no the bigger spoon. See…”
And so it had continued, lesson after lesson, some more tedious than others, until at last they arrived in England.
Black Bear wondered again as to the whereabouts of his two friends and the German Prince. The four of them had been separated at the parade.
Slowing his pace, Black Bear spared it no more thought. His friends would find him.
Black Bear glanced over to his right. The river here in the park had become narrower and as he glanced around, he noticed a horse path to his left. He trod toward it.
The path was tree-lined and sandy, and upon it rode a steady traffic of fancy-dressed ladies and gents sitting atop fine-looking animals. The women rode their horses strangely in this country and Black Bear sat for a while pondering the why of it.
That’s when he saw her, leading a procession of her lady’s maid and a stable boy, who followed discreetly.
She wore a green outfit that rivaled the very treetops in color. She had tied her blond hair back with ribbons of the same color and placed a hat upon her head. She, too, sat sidesaddle, and Black Bear almost laughed at the incongruity of it, for she had been taught to ride Indian-style, upon Indian ponies.
But he didn’t laugh. She looked too beautiful.
And he couldn’t have her.
Black Bear snorted, angry all at once.
That was that, then, he decided, a bit too quickly. He would leave. Before the day was out, he would arrange passage back home, whether he found the Prince and his two friends or not.
He would not stay here a moment longer and watch the woman he loved become slowly transformed by another man.
He would not do it.
No more.
He turned to go.
But something caught his attention. Not a sound, not something he could see or even feel. No, it was a sense that all was not right.
He glanced around him, at the trees, the bushes, finding nothing that could account for the premonition.
A bush shook.
Black Bear stood poised, not making a sound, not making a single movement.
No wind. The bush moved again.
He crept toward it, his moccasined feet making no sound on the dewy grass, his toes turned inward for control.
Slowly, cautiously, soundlessly, he crept forward.
He caught an image of a man, of the barrel of a gun, pointed—he glanced toward the road.
His stomach dropped.
Waste Ho…
Chapter Eight
Estrela had gone to her room directly after breakfast. She’d seen Black Bear leave the house, but she would not follow. What she did was for the best. It had to be.
She stood now at the doors in her room, too angry to have stayed in the breakfast parlor, too embarrassed to return.
She should never have said anything to Black Bear.
She should have taken his scolding without reaction. She should have just smiled at him demurely, as though nothing he said bothered her. She should have.
This wasn’t, however, what was.
How could he? How could he have chastised her? In front of the others, no less? It did occur to Estrela, though, that no one else appeared to have noticed the chide. Estrela was still uncertain of her welcome within the Colchester household and Black Bear’s criticism, along with his chastisement of her did not endear him to her.
“Oh!” It was all she could think to say as she began to pace, up and down, back and forth.
“Mistress?” Anna called out, knocking quietly on the door.
“Come in, Anna.”
Anna entered the room, although she didn’t advance into it. She closed the door and leaned against it.
“I ’eard.”
“You did?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“Estrela.”
“Estrela, then,” Anna said, smiling. “It would be my guess t’at geese are not t’ be discussed?”
Estrela flicked her gaze upward, wishing she had not confided her humiliation at the incident to her friend. The maid saw too much. “’Tis not funny,” she said, glancing at Anna.
“If ye say so, Mistress.”
Estrela spun away, tossing her head back as she gazed outside. “Why does he torture me?” she asked softly, causing Anna to strain forward to hear her. “I have provided him with the perfect excuse to leave. And believe me, Anna, I do this for him, not for me. Were I to have my way, I would never let him go again.”
“Then don’t.”
Estrela twisted back around. “What do you mean?”
Anna shrugged. “Don’t let ’im go. Keep ’im ’ere as an…escort…or a—”
Estrela gasped.
“What? ’Tis done all t’ time. Many a lady from t’ aristocracy whose ’usband ignores ’er ’as taken a…another from time to time. ’Tis only necessary t’ be discreet. And in this case, ye don’t even know yer ’usband. It would be easy.”
“Anna, ’tis exactly what I fear. ’Tis what I am trying to prevent. Black Bear already thinks me no better than an adulteress. And if he remains in England, close to me… Anna, I am not immune to him. If I give in to him, what then? I cannot marry him. I cannot return with him. I cannot give him what he wants. I am bound by a promise; a vow that does not include Black Bear in my life.” Estrela stared solemnly at her maid. “No, if I would ever make love with him, I would earn no more than his contempt.”
Anna paused. She looked at her friend and mistress, then away. At last, with a deep sigh, she said, “Pardon, M’lady.” She averted her eyes, gazing downward. “But ’ave ye not already succeeded in gathering just t’at? What ’arm would it be t’—”
Estrela groaned.
Anna glanced up quickly. “I should not speak t’ ye as such. Forgive me and me wayward tongue. Ye ’ave been kind to me and I only meant that ye ’ave nothin’ to lose if ye—”
Suddenly it was too much. Estrela turned away from the doors, stepped across the room, and threw herself onto her bed. As she cradled her head in her arms, the Earl of Langsford’s image swept into her mind, unbidden, unwanted.
“Come here, child.”
The ship lunged at that moment, and Estrela was forced to brace herself on a handrail, making her way unsteadily toward where the Earl lay.
Hearing the Earl gasp in air, Estrela grew annoyed, thinking this another ploy of the Earl’s to try to bring her under control. She did not believe him to be in danger when he grabbed his heart. Hadn’t he done much the same thing, play-acting, only yesterday?
And so she just stood there, her chin thrust forward, her arms folded over her chest, her temper flaring. How she wanted to scream at him, stamp her feet, rave at him, anything. But she didn’t. She stood, unflinching, glaring.
So far she had bickered and argued with the Earl the entire trip. She didn’t want to return to England. She didn’t want to be on this sea voyage. And she grew tired of the Earl’s evasions to her questions.
“I haven’t much time,” he said again.
Still Estrela did nothing, just glared at him.
“Child,” he pleaded, and this time, Estrela noted that there was about him a strained quality. Slowly she moved forward until she came to him, kneeling at his bed, gazing at him, studying him.
“I must ensure your safety,” he said, and she snorted, sure now this was simply another ploy.
“Don’t worry yourself over me,” Estrela said, waving her hand. “My future is already assured. After we arrive in Englan
d, I intend to book passage back to the Americas immediately. And there is little you can do about it. Now come, my friend,” she said, moving to help him.
“Sit up. You are well now. I will it.”
But the Earl didn’t respond in kind as she had expected. Instead he smiled at her.
“Ah,” he said to her. “You are just like your dear mother. She, too, thought she could change things simply by willing them to be different.” He coughed then, but Estrela was not to be put off. And so she remained seated at his bedside, staring at him. “But it cannot be this time,” he continued. “I have little time left. Augh! Come closer, child.”
She did as he asked, and as she did so he clutched at his chest, whispering, “I must see that you marry…now—”
“Marry?” she asked and it took every bit of will she possessed not to laugh at him. But she didn’t, asking him instead, as though she believed he were entirely serious, “What do you mean marry?”
“Child.” He gazed at her, and Estrela saw a look in his eyes then that should have alerted her as to what was to come. But it didn’t. All she noted was that his eyes beseeched her. “’Tis my duty,” he said. “I must see you married. I must ensure your safety. Quickly, now. Go get the Captain.”
Estrela wasn’t startled by the unusual request. It was what she expected from the Earl. But she didn’t move, she wouldn’t, asking simply, “Now?”
“Yes,” he whispered in return. “It must be.”
“But Uncle,” she said to him, her tone flippant, “how can I marry Black Bear now? We are at sea and I—”
“My child.” He took her hand in his own then, and had Estrela not been so convinced that the Earl played with her; she would have seen the truth to be witnessed there in his eyes. She didn’t, however, and so when he said, “I know you love the Indian brave. But duty demands that a marriage between the two of you can never be.” Estrela didn’t really hear. But he continued talking, saying, “My child, you are—” He coughed. “Quickly, go fetch the Captain.”
But Estrela merely shook her head.
“You must marry another,” he said, “and now.”
“I will not,” she responded at once, reacting instead of thinking, pulling her hand away from the Earl’s and jumping to her feet. She turned her back on him. “I think the joke has gone on too long. I know you play with me and I cannot understand what game you are about now. You must know that I cannot, will not do as you ask. This time you have gone too far.” She swung back around to face him, venting the full force of her fury on the Earl, saying, “How would you know what I feel? How can you seek to dictate to me what I should do? You,” she went on, “who can never stay in one place long enough even to know love. You, who even now can speak of love with great detachment. You must know that what you ask me to do is ridiculous and that I will not do it. I do not know why you seek to control me in this manner. I don’t understand what it is you have to gain from it. But know this. I love Black Bear. I will love no other—ever. I have promised to marry Black Bear, and I will marry only him, because I love him, because I promised I will marry him, because I will not break my vow.”
She stuck her chin up in the air and, looking down upon the Earl, knew her mistake at once. He was not playacting; he was not using a ploy. Had she been doing anything but reacting, she would have seen it long before now. It was there in the dull grayness of his facial coloring, in the dilated fullness of his eyes, the listlessness of his manner. She knew it then with full certainty. The Earl lay dying before her.
Sudden realization made her weak.
She moaned deep in her throat and rushing back to his side, she knelt down beside him.
“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I did not realize… I… You have been my friend ever since I can remember. You have been my family when I had no other, my father. I thought that you…” She gazed at him while tears threatened at the back of her eyes. “’Tis not important. Can you ever forgive me my wayward tongue?”
“Child,” he said, smiling up at her. “I would most likely forgive you anything. But you’re wrong, you know.” He reached out for her hand then, his fingers, his arms shaking. “You,” he said, “never knew your mother, did you? Of course not,” he answered for her. “But my child, I loved your mother as I have never loved another. She was willful, she was”—he glanced away—“perfect. No, child, you’re wrong. I have loved well. And I have loved you, her own child, as though you were mine. All my life I have devoted to her, to your grandfather, to you. And child…” he turned his gaze once more to Estrela, “…do not fret that you break your promise. It is not the same thing. You simply don’t know who you are. But—” he gasped, his every word strained. “I have no time left. All I can ask is that you trust me, the faithful servant who has never had anything but your best interests in my heart. Trust what I ask you to do. It is my final request. For child, even if I were not so anxious to settle your future, you could never marry the Indian.” He was racked with pain now and, unable to speak fully, he signed his next words in the Indian sign language they both understood. “Please, I have little time left.”
“No!”
“Estrela,” he managed to whisper. “Listen to me. I must settle your future. Please believe that I am only holding onto life so that I can do this for you.” He was unable to speak any further. And again, he resorted to Indian sign language, saying with his hands. “Hurry. Get the Captain.”
“I…” Tears had welled up in her eyes, were even now blocking her vision.
“I am a dying man,” he managed to say, his voice no more than a gravelly blur. “I do this because I must. You must be protected once you reach England, and if I am not there, someone must do it.”
“I… Uncle!”
“Estrela, please.” He inhaled sharply. “’Tis my last request. Can you deny me?”
All this time, she hadn’t really believed it. All this time, she’d been certain he was play-acting. All this time, these, his last minutes on earth, she had wasted.
She gasped in reaction to what she had done, what she had said. And to state she felt remorse was surely an understatement. As she knelt there beside him, she took his hand into her own and, silently, so that he wouldn’t see, she cried.
“I love you, child,” he went on speaking. “I always have. And I would never rest in my grave if I were remiss in seeing to your future. Please.”
Estrela sat before him, then, realizing the extent of her loss.
“I have made you my life,” his voice, as he spoke, ever softer. “All I have done, I have done for you, for your grandfather, for your mother, god bless her soul, the woman I have loved above all else. You must promise me you will marry whom I say. You must promise me you will never break this vow. Do you love me, child?”
And Estrela, unable to say anything, unable to do anything, simply nodded.
He sighed. “You must marry him, Sir Connie. Promise me you will. You will be safe with him. You must tell him about me, tell him who you are.” The Earl tried to smile at her, Estrela saw it, witnessed the amount of effort the Earl expended on the simple gesture. “Promise me this, child. Promise me you will honor this marriage. Promise me you will find him.”
And Estrela, unable now to stem the stream of tears did the only thing she could. She nodded.
She agreed.
“What was that, child?”
“Yes,” she whispered at last, her throat constricting.
“Say it, child. Say the whole thing.”
“Yes,” she mumbled it. “I will honor the marriage. I’m sorry, Uncle, I didn’t know—”
“There, there,” he said and as he raised a hand to pat her, he added, “So be it.”
Estrela rolled over onto her back and gazed up now at the pink and gold headboard of the bed. “Anna,” she said, “I have no choice in the matter. I never did. I must make Black Bear leave. For my sake, and for his.”
Anna said nothing.
Estrela drew a deep breath, then another. �
��But come,” she said at last. “I feel I need a ride.” She paused, sighing softly. “Yes, I need to ride. And though ’tis still morning, the majority of traffic on the horse path in the park should have died away by now.” She rose then and ever so slowly, so very gradually, she paced over to her wardrobe before saying, “Anna, you must come with me. I can dress myself this morning. Please, I feel I need to get out immediately. Go to the stable quickly, won’t you, and ask the groom to prepare a mount for me and one for you?”
“Mistress, I couldn’t,” Anna exclaimed. “A ride through ’yde Park is for me peers. I—”
“I have an extra riding habit,” Estrela said it quietly, softly, yet she earned a smile from Anna all the same.
“Ye drive a ’ard bargain, ye do.” And then, still smiling, Anna said, “’Tis done.” And with this last, Anna hurried from the room, never fully observing, nor seeing that at that moment, her mistress cried.
Dressed in a bright-green velvet riding habit and top hat with veil, Estrela coaxed her gelding into a faster gallop, while Anna rode alongside on a smaller pony. A groom from the Colchester House followed behind the two women.
Estrela sat up straight in the sidesaddle and gazed around her while the rush of air ruffled her hat and blew tiny whisps of blond hair back from her face.
Estrela rode well, having learned the basics of riding at an early age. She closed her eyes, luxuriating, if only for the moment, in the feel of the horse beneath her. She almost smiled, a sad, self-reflective smile.
She listened to the wind as it rushed past her, relishing in the flutter the air made, wondering if the wind would speak to her now, or if Black Bear might use it again as a medium, but she heard nothing, only the silent passage of air; no message. She pushed her gelding onward, not realizing till too late that she had left Anna and the groom far behind.
She pulled up on the reins, stopping her mount as quickly as she had set him into a run. She quieted him with soothing words while she deftly maneuvered him, bringing him under control. Stopped, the animal pawed at the ground in protest, but Estrela calmly sat upon him, in full control.
