by McLean, Jay
“For what? To be with me?”
“No.” She takes a step toward me. Just one. But keeps her eyes downcast. “I wasn’t made with the strength to do it all. Taking care of my mom is as much as I can do, and even then, I’m already spread so thin. You told me the other day that you were at your limit, and I think I passed that point a long time ago, Connor. I can’t be trying to take care of her and trying to be focused on you and being insecure about us all at the same time.”
I kick off my car, take one step forward and retake her hand. “You don’t have to be insecure about us,” I plead. “Nothing happened with Karen. I swear it, Ava.”
Her eyes lift, lock on mine. “Then why did you lie?”
“About what?” I ask, even though I already know. So does my heart, because it’s trembling in my ribcage.
“You’re the only one who left with her. And you weren’t home at midnight, Connor, because I was banging on your window—” Her voice wavers and she clears her throat. “If nothing happened,” she says, tears welling in her eyes, “then why lie to me?”
I shake my head, sniff back the burn behind my nose, and look down at the ground, shame forcing my shoulders to drop. “Because I didn’t want you to worry,” I admit. “Clearly, I had my priorities wrong.” I swallow the knot in my throat and peer up at her again. “But this isn’t your reason is it, Ava? It’s your excuse.”
Her sob has me looking up, watching her wipe at her eyes frantically. “It’s too hard,” she cries out, her entire presence shrinking with defeat. “I can’t…” The weight of her cries halts her words, and I exhale, wait for her to finish. “I can’t be the person I want to be when I’m with you. I can’t forget that… that my mom needs me more than I need you. And I did that. For one split second, I forgot. Because I love you, Connor. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you…” She falls into me, her arms going around me, holding tight. “But I can’t be with you.”
I take in her words, breathe them into me. “You were my end game,” I whisper, knowing she can’t hear me through her cries. I wipe the wetness off my cheeks against her hair and clutch her head to my chest, her ear to my life source.
She quiets her sobs.
Waiting.
Listening.
But she won’t find what she’s searching for.
Because: “There’s no magic in a broken heart, Ava.”
To be continued…
Also by Jay McLean
More Than Series
More Than This
More Than Her
More Than Him
More Than Forever
More Than Enough
Preston Brothers Novel
Lucas
Logan
The Road Series
Where the Road Takes Me
Kick Push
Coast
Combative Trilogy
Combative
Redemptive
Destructive - Coming Soon
Boy Toy Chronicles
Boy Toy Chronicles
Darkness Matters
Darkness Matters
About the Author
Jay McLean is an international best-selling author and full-time reader, writer of New Adult and Young Adult romance, and skilled procrastinator. When she’s not doing any of those things, she can be found running after her three little boys, investing way too much time on True Crime Documentaries and binge-watching reality TV.
She writes what she loves to read, which are books that can make her laugh, make her hurt and make her feel.
Jay lives in the suburbs of Melbourne, Australia, in her dream home where music is loud and laughter is louder.
For publishing rights (Foreign & Domestic) Film or television, please contact her agent Erica Spellman-Silverman, at Trident Media Group.
