Don’t you ever wish it was like it was before? When it was just you and me? No baby, no nanny? When had Ellie said that? Days before? He’d thought nothing of it. In the light of his fears, the words took on a new meaning. His eyes snapped open again. If Ellie were presented with the opportunity to get rid of Tia for good, would she have taken it?
Wasn’t that why she was on the road to Brighton in the first place?
Maybe she was presented with an opportunity too good to pass up. The detective said both women had made it out of the car and were lying close together. Tia might have been unconscious.
One blow from a rock would have sufficed to cave in her skull.
He gulped. Was he seriously entertaining this idea?
Did he seriously think Ellie capable of murder?
When it was just you and me?
If he was right, was Bill next?
46
Late the next morning, feeling weary, he was relieved to see Ellie come into the kitchen with a smile on her face.
‘Good morning, everyone,’ she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. ‘My goodness, I can’t believe I slept so late. Did Bill have a good night, Mary?’
Mary stopped taking baby clothes from a basket and looked at her in surprise. ‘Yes, Mrs Armstrong,’ she said. ‘He slept until two, had a bottle, then slept until six.’
‘That’s good.’ Ellie put her coffee down. She moved to the cot where Bill lay cooing and stood for a moment looking at him; then, to Will’s amazement, she stooped down, picked him up and cuddled him for several minutes before putting him back.
Will met Mary’s eyes. Maybe things were going to be all right.
In the bright light of the day, his night-time fears seemed preposterous. Ellie was smiling, she looked brighter. Perhaps she’d taken his criticism on board and now things would start returning to normal.
They’d arranged to meet Adam and Tyler for lunch at one. ‘We’d better leave soon,’ Will said, glancing at the clock.
Ellie nodded and finished her coffee. ‘I’ll get my coat.’ Before leaving she bent and gave Bill a kiss on the forehead and then turned to Mary with a friendly smile. ‘I can’t thank you enough for looking after him so well.’
‘Well, well,’ Mary said when Ellie left. ‘She’s like a different woman.’
‘No, she’s like her old self,’ Will said, reaching down to caress his son’s head. ‘It’s just taken her a long time to recover from that terrible crash. Everything will be better now, you’ll see.’
Looking down at his son, he hoped he was right.
They took the tube, getting out at Bond Street and walking through Grosvenor Square Garden. Even on a cold, grey day, the park, though small, was beautiful. With its statue of President Roosevelt, the Eagle Squadron Memorial and the memorial to those who died on September 11, he and Ellie had always joked that it was like having a little bit of the United States in the heart of Mayfair.
He held her hand tightly as they walked through the park and along Grosvenor Street. Usually, Ellie would comment on how much she loved the Georgian buildings but, today, she walked silently, lost in thought.
‘You feeling all right?’ he asked. It was only a ten-minute walk but maybe it was too much.
‘Yes,’ she said, with a quick smile. ‘I feel fine.’
They arrived just before the prearranged time to find the two men waiting in The Mavern’s elegant foyer reading newspapers.
‘Good morning,’ Adam said, folding the paper and dropping it on the table. He gave Ellie a hug, reached out a hand to Will. ‘You look tired,’ he said. ‘Bad night?’
Will waved a hand dismissively. ‘It’s been a difficult time for all of us.’
Adam and Tyler nodded in sympathy. ‘I thought, unless you have another preference, we’d have lunch here,’ Adam said.
Will looked at Ellie who smiled. ‘Sounds good to me,’ she said. ‘I’ve always liked this hotel.’
Tyler dropped his newspaper on the table and stood. ‘I’ll go and make a reservation,’ he said. ‘And get some drinks. What will you have?’
They all looked at Ellie, who suddenly looked flustered. ‘I don’t—’ She stopped.
‘Have a gin and tonic,’ Will said, slipping an arm around her. ‘You always like one before dinner.’
She smiled at him gratefully. ‘Yes, that would be lovely.’
The foyer was too noisy for comfortable conversation. ‘There’s a lounge further back,’ Adam said and led the way to a large room where comfortable chairs were grouped informally around low tables. ‘Better?’ he asked.
Nodding, Ellie and Will sat. Tyler returned followed by a liveried waiter carrying a tray of drinks.
‘Well, I think this calls for a toast,’ Adam said, lifting his glass. ‘To Tia.’
‘To Tia,’ they all chimed.
An uneasy silence followed the toast as they all sought for something unexceptional to talk about. It was Tyler who came up with the old reliable. The weather. ‘It’s hard to get used to this cold again,’ he said with an exaggerated shiver.
As a conversation opener it was banal, but they jumped on it, comparing the advantages and disadvantages of constant sunshine.
‘You must come and visit us, see for yourselves,’ Adam said.
Will laughed. ‘You’re hardly ever there.’ He looked at Ellie. ‘We could do with some sunshine though. Would you like to go? I can look at flights.’
Tyler chirped in. ‘Do come, we go home in a week and then we’ve nothing planned for ages. It would be lovely to have visitors.’
They were still discussing this when it was time for lunch and, by the time they’d finished that, a tentative date had been set.
Adam pushed his plate away and sat back. ‘I hope we get to meet Bill while we’re here,’ he said. ‘I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me about him.’
‘I’m afraid that’s my fault,’ Will said. He picked up Ellie’s hand and kissed it before looking back at Adam, an apologetic expression on his face. ‘I’m so sorry, I was supposed to tell you.’ Dropping her hand, he held his up, palms out. ‘When Bill was born, Ellie asked me to ring you to let you know the good news but, with all that was going on, unforgivably, I forgot.’
‘It must have been a huge adjustment,’ Tyler commented.
‘Huge! He was a fretful baby and cried all hours so Ellie was exhausted,’ Will said, the lies coming far more easily than he’d expected. ‘Tia was great with him though, and she looked after him when Ellie went back to work.’
‘And now? You have an au pair?’
‘A nanny,’ said Will with a smile. ‘A mature, serious woman called Mary.’ He reached into his inside pocket and took out some photographs. ‘There you are,’ he said, handing them over. ‘That’s Bill when he was just a few weeks old.’
‘He’s a handsome boy,’ Adam said without much enthusiasm. ‘They all look the same at that age, don’t they?’
‘Adam’s not into babies, really,’ Tyler said apologetically. His face creased in concentration as he looked at the small, squashed scrap of humanity in the photograph and clearly tried to think of something complimentary to say. ‘He’s lovely,’ he said in the end, handing the photos back.
‘You’ll get to see him tomorrow,’ Ellie said.
Will nodded. ‘Yes, of course. We can call in to see him after the service, if you like, or maybe it would be better after lunch. I’ve booked a Japanese restaurant, by the way. They do the most wonderful sushi.’
Adam and Tyler may have shown a lack of interest in the baby but the mention of sushi had both men’s faces wreathed in smiles and, over coffee, they discussed a recent visit to Japan. Tyler managed to find an endless supply of photographs on his phone to show them.
Finally, Will called a halt. ‘I think we’ll head off,’ he said. ‘It’s Ellie’s first time out since the accident, she shouldn’t overdo it.’
‘Yes, yes, of course,’ Adam agreed, jumping to his feet and rushing around to
envelop Ellie in a hug. ‘Until tomorrow, my dear,’ he said.
Will quickly gave the details for the following morning, handing them a card with the crematorium’s address. ‘It’s arranged for eleven thirty,’ he said, and then, with an arm around Ellie’s shoulder, they left the hotel.
He caught her hand as they walked along the street. ‘You were very quiet,’ he said. ‘You feeling okay?’
She nodded absently. ‘Just tired and a bit emotional.’
Of course. Guilt shot through him. Wasn’t it all bound to take its toll? And she’d had quite a lot to drink too; Adam and Tyler were gracious hosts but a bit heavy-handed when they poured wine. How many bottles had they got through? Three or four?
He saw a vacant taxi approach and quickly hailed it. ‘Let’s get you home,’ he said.
Once there, he encouraged her to go to bed for a couple of hours. ‘You’ll feel better afterwards,’ he said, helping her out of her coat and giving her a gentle push toward the stairs. He watched her go, her bottom swaying in the soft fabric of the dress. There was a time the sight would have turned him on, he’d have followed her up and tried his luck. A lot of things had changed.
The house was quiet. Hanging her coat over the newel post, he went to the kitchen door and held his ear to it, listening for sounds. Nothing. He knew Mary sometimes went for a nap while Bill was having one, having walked in on her once when she was asleep. She’d woken in great embarrassment and he’d had to spend considerable time reassuring her that it was perfectly all right to have forty winks when she could. He didn’t want to repeat the experience. Maybe that’s all Ellie meant by her remark. That it was easier when it was just the two of them and they could do what they wanted in their own home. Of course, he decided, that was what she’d meant.
With a feeling of relief, he retreated to the sitting room and flopped onto the sofa. He felt a headache brewing, too much alcohol in the middle of the day, too little sleep. Kicking off his shoes, he swung his legs up, rested his heat on a cushion and closed his eyes.
He didn’t think he’d fall asleep but he did, just for a moment, waking in a cold sweat when he dreamed he saw Ellie standing over Tia’s unconscious body, a rock in her hand and a terrifying look on her face.
He didn’t sleep again, switching on the television with the sound muted and watching reruns of an old comedy show. But it was the footage in his head that was on an endless loop and, for a moment, he wondered if he were losing his mind.
47
The day of Tia’s funeral arrived with blue skies and a bitterly cold breeze.
He’d slept on the sofa again, bringing a pillow and duvet down without explanation. He half expected Ellie to question him but she said nothing, accepting his decision when he told her without as much as a flicker of an eyelid.
In the morning, he’d showered and dressed in the main bathroom. It took him several minutes to find the black tie he’d bought for his uncle’s funeral several years before. He tied it and straightened the knot. Carrying his dark-grey suit jacket, he headed downstairs stopping at their bedroom door to listen for movement, reluctant to go inside. The hum of the electric shower satisfied him that she was getting ready and he carried on down.
He was eating a slice of toast when the door opened and she came in, swallowing with a gulp when he saw her. She looked stunning. The black sheath dress she wore accentuated every curve and showed off her ivory skin. Normally, she wore more make-up, but today she’d settled for mascara and muted lipstick. She’d left her hair loose, simply pinning it back at the sides with jewelled clasps he’d never seen before.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look more beautiful,’ he said, standing up and planting a soft kiss on her cheek.
She tilted her head, a curious expression on her face. ‘Not even on our wedding day?’
‘Not even then,’ he smiled.
‘Thank you,’ she said, and her eyes shimmered with tears. ‘That means more than you could ever imagine. Especially today.’ She handed him a scarf. ‘Would you fix this for me, please. It’s not black, but it’s the closest I have.’
Will took it and folded it along the diagonal before tucking it around her cast and tying it at the nape of her neck. ‘It will be good to have this off,’ he said, tapping it lightly. ‘Two more days and you’ll be free of it.’
She smiled absentmindedly and walked over to Bill’s cot. ‘Hello, gorgeous,’ she said, putting her hand on his stomach and rocking him gently. He gurgled up at her. ‘He slept well, did he?’ she asked Mary, who stood waiting for the kettle to boil.
‘Seems to have fallen into a regular pattern now, Mrs Armstrong.’
‘Good.’ She rocked the baby gently again and smiled when he gurgled. With a final caress she left him and moved to the kitchen to get coffee. She poured a mug and looked at Will ‘More?’
He shook his head. ‘I’ve had some, thanks. You should have something to eat. A slice of toast or some cereal?’
She shook her head. ‘Just coffee will be fine.’ She took her mug and sat at the table.
‘It’s very cold out, Mrs Armstrong,’ Mary volunteered. ‘I was putting some rubbish out a while ago, that breeze is bitter.’
Will frowned. The black dress was stunning but it was also sleeveless. ‘Maybe wear a cardigan,’ he suggested. ‘Remember, you’re still recuperating.’
To his surprise, she stood and left the room, returning a few minutes later with a black cardigan. She slipped one arm in and pulled the other side over her shoulder.
Touched, Will reached to help her, tucking the empty sleeve neatly into the cardigan’s pocket. ‘Better?’
‘Yes,’ she said with a laugh. ‘I have to admit, I was a little chilly.’
He checked the time. ‘The taxi will be here any moment. Where’s your coat?’
‘On the banisters.’
He fetched it and helped her on with it just as the doorbell announced the arrival of the taxi. Putting on his coat, he said, ‘We won’t be very late, Mary. As usual, any problems, give me a ring.’
‘I hope it goes as well as these things can,’ she said.
Ellie smiled, took a last look at Bill and headed out into the hallway, Will following close behind.
He looked at her from the corner of his eye as they travelled through the usual mayhem that was London traffic. She seemed calm, peaceful even, and a changed woman from a few days before. Perhaps she’d taken what he’d said to heart and decided to make more of an effort with Bill? If so, it hadn’t put his mind at ease; he felt more confused than ever.
They picked Adam and Tyler up at their hotel and arrived at the Whitechapel crematorium with five minutes to spare. They stood, a small, almost pathetic group of mourners to wait their turn.
The hearse arrived from the undertakers, the casket he and Ellie had chosen from their online catalogue gleaming in the sun as it drew up outside.
‘Would you like to carry the coffin in?’ the undertaker asked, his voice pitched low to suit the solemnity of the proceedings.
Adam made the decision. ‘Yes,’ he said firmly, ‘it’s the last thing we can do for her.’
When they were given the signal, they took a corner each, the undertaker taking the fourth, and, hoisting the coffin to their shoulders, they carried it inside.
Ellie walked behind with the celebrant, her head down.
The crematorium was stark and austere, relieved only by the dramatically colourful floral arrangements Will had organised. They sat together in the front pew and listened as the celebrant read the agreed readings. She’d asked if they wanted to give a eulogy, showing no surprise when they’d said no.
Will regretted the decision, one that had been made by Ellie in the tone of voice that said she didn’t want to discuss it. He’d liked to have said a few words, to have said they’d miss her. He’d liked to have said he’d take care of her child, but they were words he could never say. Even now, at her funeral, secrets had to be kept.
He glanced a
t Ellie. What had she said? That their secrets meant he could never leave her? A chill ran through him and he felt his eyes fill. Looking at the sad coffin, he wished they were tears for Tia, but he was honest enough to admit they were for himself.
Thankfully, it was a short service, no sooner started than over. To the strains of ‘We’ll Meet Again’ the curtain slowly moved across, and Tia was gone. Will’s eyes dried as he stared, unblinking. She was gone. His face hardened. And if there was any evidence that Ellie had a hand in her death, that was gone too.
He could live with it, he didn’t really have a choice. But for Bill’s sake, he had to know one way or the other.
48
A taxi took them to the Japanese restaurant, Tyler and Adam making small talk while Will and Ellie sat lost in their thoughts. There were no other customers at the early hour they arrived, the quiet venue adding to the sombre mood of the small party.
Only when the food arrived did they start to speak about Tia. There were few anecdotes they could share to lighten the mood, certainly no funny stories of things she did or happy memories of times they’d had together.
Adam did his best, speaking of times he’d gone to see her at St Germaine’s. ‘I never bothered ringing ahead to tell them I was coming,’ he said, ‘after all, she was always going to be there. The staff would go and fetch her and she’d come into that awful visitors’ room and greet me with, Hi, Adam, as if she’d just seen me the day before. Sometimes,’ he smiled ruefully, ‘there would be months or more between visits but her greeting never changed. We’d sit in that grim room over a pot of tea and cheap biscuits and I’d ask her how she was. She always laughed and said the same thing, I’m okay. She didn’t volunteer much apart from that but she’d ask me about where I’d been and sit and listen to me talk. When we finished the tea, she’d get up, put the cups and saucers back onto the tray, say, Goodbye, Adam, and leave.’
He laughed. ‘The first time I went to visit her, I sat there waiting for her to come back. She never did.’
Secrets Between Us Page 24
