We are finally out of the hospital, after several grueling hours of testing and crap like that. My mom had to come up to the hospital to sign the papers for me to get out. She tried talking to me, but I plugged in my headphones and ignored her. I know I seem harsh, but I didn’t want to talk to her.
She really hurt me, and I don’t want anything to do with either of my parents. I mean, I haven’t even talked to my dad since the accident, and that was three and a half weeks ago. He doesn’t deserve my attention.
“Autumn, you should really talk to your mom,” Cameron told me.
“No, I’m not gonna talk to her. She’s not ruining my perfect day like she and Dad ruined my life,” I said seriously, as a small tear slipped out of my eye.
“What makes this day so perfect, Autumn-Cakes?” Cam asked, while wiping away the tear.
“Well, Cammy-Boo, I am getting out of the hospital.” He nodded with understanding.
“Ready to leave, babe?” Hayes asked, walking over.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Everyone started laughing, and I started to giggle.
Bailey helped me over to the bathroom—which was pretty hard, considering Shaelyn was at the cafeteria—then handed me my clothes.
I changed into a Marvel cropped hoodie, some sweatpants, my Vans, my glasses, one of many Vans backpacks, and, to top it off, a messy bun.
After I did my bathroom routine, I wobbled out and was about to fall, but Hayes caught me. That’s the second time in twenty-four hours!
“Thanks,” I said, kissing his cheek.
“No problem, Auts,” he said, kissing my lips. I blushed while I tried to stand up, but epically failed.
He picked me up bridal style and set me down gently in my wheelchair. He acted like I was a piece of glass, about to break at any second. Which I really was. I was physically and emotionally unstable, but Hayes being there helped. A lot.
Hayes
I can’t wait to meet Ella officially. She makes Autumn so happy. It makes me jealous at times, but then I think back that Autumn hadn’t even met or seen her in thirteen years, so my jealousy dies down. I just want my baby to be happy.
I carried Autumn over to her wheelchair and sat her down gently. I didn’t want to drop her and hurt her any more than she already was. I hate seeing my girl in pain.
As I wheeled her down the hallway, we stopped to visit Callie. We told her we would see her after Autumn gets settled back at home. She’s going to be staying at our house for a while because she and her parents aren’t on speaking terms. We already have her clothes and everything in my room since all the guys who are visiting are taking up the guest bedrooms.
Cameron offered to let Aut share his room, but she declined, so Ella can stay with Cam when she gets here from her hotel. I heard that Ella liked him when they were younger, and he supposedly likes her.
Hayes
Ella, the girl who came by a few days ago, was walking over toward our group. Autumn’s smile brightened as she approached. Ella wrapped her arms around Autumn tightly, gently kissing her forehead. Everyone smiled at the sight.
But Cameron was a different story.
He stood there, pale as a ghost, not moving. You could barely tell he was breathing. I then remembered that he hadn’t been at the hospital when Ella first showed up.
“Hey, guys. I want you to meet her officially. This is my sister, Ella, or Ellie,” Autumn said with a huge smile. You could tell she was really happy. Everyone introduced themselves, knowing that we had barely gotten to speak to her for the short time she was here a few days ago.
“E-Ellie? I thought y-you left!” Cameron stuttered, stunned.
“I came back because I was concerned about Autumn, and I missed you a lot, Cam,” Ella said, looking at him intently.
Cameron
“E-Ellie? I thought y-you left!” I stuttered, stunned. It’s like a baseball bat just hit me square in the face.
I can’t believe my Ella is back. I thought she was gone.
“I came back because I was concerned about Autumn, and I missed you a lot, Cam,” Ella said, looking directly into my eyes.
I ran up to her and pulled her into a tight hug. The next thing was unexpected because I never do this, but I started to cry. I cried only when Ella left and then when Autumn went into a coma.
“I’m so happy you’re back. I can’t live without you, Ella. I thought I’d lost you forever!” I bawled into her shoulder.
“It’s okay, Cameron. I’m here now, and I will be till the end. I couldn’t live without you, either,” she said also crying at this point.
“Okay, now that that’s over, I want to introduce Ella to the girls and guys!” Autumn exclaimed, holding on to Hayes for dear life. You could tell she could barely stand.
I let go of Ella, but kept my arm around her waist. She put her head on my shoulder and I put my head on hers.
“I missed you, Ella-bug!”
“I missed you, too, Cam-Cam!” I kissed her cheek.
“Not to ruin this love fest, but can we go? My back hurts!” Autumn whined.
“We better go because everyone knows that Autumn never whines!” Tez exclaimed. Everyone started laughing while Hayes helped Autumn into her wheelchair and pushed her to the car.
We had two cars for everyone, so we wouldn’t all be packed into one.
When we got home, we immediately went down to the basement to watch a movie. Apparently, since Autumn just got home, it was her choice. I knew exactly what she was going to choose: The Breakfast Club.
Autumn
While we were driving home, I was in the middle row with Hayes, holding his hand, and talking to Ella. It was probably just me, but I think I saw Cameron’s face drop as he looked back at Hayes and me. I wonder why.
Anyway, when we got home, we grabbed some candy, went straight down to the basement, and started to watch a movie.
Since I had just gotten home, I got to pick the movie, and I picked one of my many favorites: The Breakfast Club!
On the couch I had Ella on my left and Hayes on my right. Everyone else was scattered around the room, on the couch or on the floor.
“Hey, why don’t we invite Alyssa over after this movie?” I asked everyone. They all nodded, but Ellie looked confused.
“Alyssa is a girl Shae and Bailey met in the airport. She’s supposedly really sweet!” Cam whispered in her ear. She nodded and put her head back on his shoulder.
“Yeah, totally! I’ll call her after the movie,” Bailey answered.
We all said okay and went back to watching the movie.
At the end of the movie, I was snuggled up into Hayes’s side, with my head on his shoulder, half asleep. Ella and Cam were sprawled out on the couch asleep, which, may I add, was so adorable. Nash was half lying, half sitting with Shae on his side; Nash was awake, and Shae was asleep. Daniel and Bailey were lying on the couch about to pass out at any second, and the guys were cuddled up with each other on the floor in front of us sleeping.
“Autumn, you have to get a picture of the guys,” Bailey said groggily.
“Yeah, and one of Cameron and Ella, so we can show it on their wedding video,” Nash said, zombie-like.
I laughed and said, “Okay, Hayes, grab my phone, please!”
Hayes handed me my phone and I shot a photo of the guys and one of Cam and Ella. The photos were so cute!
“Can we just call Alyssa to come and swim tomorrow—I just want to sleep.” Hayes yawned.
“Yeah, I agree,” I said, snuggling my head into his neck again. He picked me up and arranged us in a more comfortable position while I just enjoyed his presence.
“Okay. Can you go swimming with your back, Aut?” Bailey asked.
“No, but I’ll just tan or watch you guys. Y’all have some fun. I’m holding you guys back from so many fun things,” I said tiredly.
“Shut
up—no, you’re not. I’ll just stay with you. I don’t feel like swimming anyway!” Hayes said sternly.
“Whatever, let’s talk about this tomorrow. I love you,” I told him.
“I love you more.”
“Not possible,” I said, already half asleep.
“Could you guys stop? Y’all are too cute for me to function!” Nash yelled.
“Shut up, we’re trying to sleep! And thanks, Nashy-Boo,” I told him.
Hayes kissed my forehead, and I drifted off into a deep, dark sleep.
Autumn
I woke up to cameras clicking and unfamiliar faces. That must be Alyssa and some other people I do not know about. I yawned and snuggled up against Hayes’s chest.
“Ugh, why does everyone always take pictures of us?” Hayes groaned, and wrapped his arms even tighter around my waist.
“’Cause, y’all are the cutest couple eva!” Bailey said, jumping around. God, she’s crazy.
“Can y’all shut up, I’m trying to sleep here,” I said. They probably couldn’t hear it, though, because my face was stuffed into Hayes’s chest.
“But we have people for you to meet!” Bailey said, pulling me out of Hayes’s grasp and onto the ground. Well, thanks, Bailey, that didn’t hurt at all.
“Goodness. Bailey, back, couch, now! BAILEY!” I screamed in pain. That stung.
“OMG, Autumn, I’m so sorry! I totally forgot about your back!” She scrambled me up to the couch like the madwoman she is.
“It’s fine,” I breathed out, laying my head back on Hayes’s chest.
I then realized that there were seven other people who I didn’t know.
“Um, guys, not to be rude, but who are they?” I said awkwardly.
“Oh, yeah. Um, Autumn, this is my girlfriend, Gabby Elliot,” Alec said to me.
“Yeah, this is my girlfriend, Jordan Bird,” Tez said.
“This is my girlfriend, Abbie Summers,” Jonah said.
“This is my girlfriend, Abigail Jackson, or Abby,” Bart said.
“This is Alyssa James, my girlfriend. Not the Alyssa who Bailey and Shaelyn met at the airport,” Aaron said.
“This is Alyssa Dowell, or Aly,” Bailey said. I smiled and winked at her.
“And this is my girlfriend, Ashley Leonard,” Carter said, wrapping his arm around a girl whose face was caked with makeup. Did she stop at the Crayola store on the way here or something?
“Hi, guys, I’m Autumn! It’s nice to meet y’all! Especially you, Aly!” I said, while getting up and shuffling the literal step over to Aly and giving her a hug.
“Come on, babe, you know you can’t walk,” Hayes said, pulling me back down on the couch and wrapping his arm around me.
“I know y’all said they were cute, but not this cute!” Aly gushed.
All the other girls nodded in agreement, but Ashley just scoffed. What crawled up her butt and died this morning? Must be something big . . .
The girls and I all looked at one another—except for Ashley, of course—and gave one another weird looks. Bailey gave the look that said, We can talk about this later, and we all nodded slightly in understanding, so the guys and Ashley wouldn’t see.
“Well, I’m hungry, so can we make some food or something? Ooh, Cammy-Boo, can you make me your special pancakes, please?” I pleaded.
I felt like having a home-cooked meal, and who wouldn’t after spending three and a half weeks in the hospital?
“Sure thing, Autumn-Cakes!” Cameron said, then headed upstairs to the kitchen.
“GRACIAS!” I yelled up the stairs as Hayes helped me to my wheelchair.
“Babe, that was my ear!” he said, clutching the side of his head.
“Sorry, hon!” I said, and kissed his cheek.
“Now onward, my trusty steed!” I said to Bailey, who insisted on pushing me up the stairs because it would be “fun.”
Let’s just say I’m happy Hayes is strong and was right by my side the entire time . . .
In the end, Nash ended up carrying me up the stairs while Hayes carried my wheelchair. God, I feel handicapped and I hate it.
I laid my head on Nash’s chest and sighed.
“What’s wrong, little Auts?” Nash asked worriedly. I guess that came out louder than I intended.
“I feel so handicapped, and I hate it. Y’all have to watch my every move, and you can’t do anything like you’re used to. I’m just holding you back,” I explained.
He nodded to Hayes, Bailey, Ella, and Cam to come upstairs, and we all went to his room and sat on his bed. I still had my face in Nash’s chest, feeling like I was about to cry at any second. Why do I have all these emotions? I never cry, ever! I barely even cry when I break bones!
“What’s wrong?” they asked in unison.
Nash explained to them what I had said, and they looked at me sympathetically. I looked Hayes in the eyes, and I don’t know if it was just me, but I saw hurt. And that’s when the tears started coming, one after another.
I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I got up and limped to Nash’s bathroom. It hurt, but what hurt more was knowing that I put my boyfriend in so much pain.
I closed and locked the door, then slid down slowly onto the floor with my back against the tub. I pulled my knees up to my chest, laid my head on them, and bawled.
I could hear the banging on the door, but it was faint. I had tunnel vision, and it was leading me right to a razor lying on the edge of the tub. I had never thought about using a razor to cut myself, just for shaving.
I picked up the razor and held it as I started to think. Maybe I was overthinking things, because I started shaking and I didn’t know what to do.
Should I just cut myself and take away all the pain, or should I not and continue to live the miserable life I have at the moment with this stupid concussion and my stupid parents? The only things that were keeping me sane were the Grier family, my friends, my sister, and Hayes.
I can’t do this. I won’t do this. I have to be okay for Hayes, for Ella, for the guys and girls—well, not Ashley, because she’s a witch. But for Elizabeth, Johnnie, Will, Chad, and for Sky. I can’t do this.
I was crying uncontrollably, still holding the razor in my hand. I was thinking about life, about how my life would be if I didn’t have deadbeat parents, if I didn’t have the guys and girls, if I didn’t have Cameron and Momma Dallas, if I didn’t have Nash and his family, if I didn’t have Hayes.
That’s when . . .
The door broke down.
Autumn
“No, Autumn, what are you doing?” Hayes yelled, running toward me.
He grabbed the razor out of my hands and threw it against the wall. I just dropped to the ground, curled into a ball, and cried waterfalls.
He picked me up and pulled me into his chest. I don’t even know who was in the room; it felt like just Hayes and me at the moment.
“Why?” he asked, his voice cracking in the end. I could feel small teardrops landing on my hair.
I couldn’t muster up the courage to talk, so I just sat there and kept bawling. “You don’t have any reason to do this,” he whispered.
“YES, I DID!” I sobbed. “HOW COULD I PUT YOU GUYS THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN AND JUST COMPLAIN?! THAT’S ALL I DO—SIT AROUND AND COMPLAIN! I CAN’T DO ANYTHING LIKE I USED TO DO, AND Y’ALL CAN’T, EITHER!” I paused to take a breath. “I’M MAKING YOU GUYS DO SO MANY THINGS FOR ME AND PUTTING YOU THROUGH SO MUCH, AND I CAN’T DO ANYTHING TO REPAY YOU! I’M DONE WITH ALL OF THIS DUMB CRAP THAT THIS CONCUSSION IS PUTTING ME THROUGH! I KNOW IT’S ONLY BEEN A WEEK, BUT IT FEELS LIKE YEARS, AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS!” I screamed. And then I cried, “I just want to die. Leave me alone to die.”
I felt so weak. I could barely breathe from all the crying. I couldn’t take it! I just wanted to die.
/> “Autumn, don’t say that. We’re doing these things because we love you. I love you. If you died, I wouldn’t be able to live without you. I would just die with you or be alive and miserable without you! Would you want that? Sometimes I don’t like doing these things, but then I remember I’m doing them for you, the person I love most in this world. And what do you mean, you complain all the time? We usually have to pull the complaints out of you because you’re too stubborn to admit anything! Please don’t do this again, I don’t want to see you go through this. It hurts, sweetheart,” he said. I looked up at him, and he had tears running down his cheeks.
I, Autumn Nicole Brown, made Benjamin Hayes Grier, the kid who I’ve never seen cry, cry. Wow, I’m a bit impressed with myself. I wiped the tears off of his cheeks and gave him a long, passionate kiss.
“I love you, too, Hayes. And I won’t do it again,” I said.
“Pinky promise?” he whispered.
I giggled. “Pinky promise.” We interlocked pinkies and I kissed his damp cheek.
“Autumn Nicole Brown, you better not scare me like that ever again,” Cameron said, running up to me, swooping me out of Hayes’s arms, and giving me a giant hug.
“Okay, Cammy-Boo, I promise. I love you, bubby!”
“Love you, too, Autumn-Cakes.”
“Please don’t do that, Auts! I’ve practically lost you once; I don’t wanna lose you again,” Ella said in tears.
“Don’t worry, Ellie, it won’t happen,” I said as a tear ran down my cheek.
“MY MUCHACHA BETTER NOT DO IT AGAIN, OR BAIL’S GONNA CUT A BISH!” Bailey yelled. She ran up to me, then spun around with me in her arms.
“I promise, muchacha, it won’t happen!” I laughed.
“I love you, little Auts,” Nash whispered, while crying and giving me a bone-crushing hug.
“I love you more, Nashy-poo,” I told him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
I limped over to Hayes, who was still on the floor, and sat down on his lap. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He kissed my forehead, and right then I heard a camera shutter.
Love Heals All Page 5
