by Leila James
“Let’s get you to the nurse.”
“No. I’m fine.” I clench my teeth together and suck in some air, wincing when I try to move my head.
“I’m sure you are, but she’ll let you rest in there.”
“But I’ll miss class.”
“I’ll get your assignments. Mr. Roudebush wouldn’t want you in class like this.”
“But—” As a last resort, I pout.
He shakes his head before he touches my cheek. “No buts, Red.” He scoops me up and carries me down the hall, then turns the corner away from the chaos behind us.
When we get to the office, he sets me down, and looks into my eyes. His are tormented, dark and stormy, like he’s terribly angry, but trying to hold it back for my sake.
“What’s wrong?”
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then exhales through his nostrils. “I’ll tell you more later. I never should have let him near you.”
My brow creases. “Xander, what’s the deal? I’m confused.”
“That piece of shit? He’s my stepbrother.”
Chapter 37
My mind whirred with questions the entire time I’d been in the nurse’s office. We’d called my aunt, no way around that, but I’d downplayed what’d happened and insisted that I stay for practice. By the time I’d gotten to the locker room after school, word had reached Coach Lance that there’d been an incident, and he’d refused to let me go out and run with the rest of the team today. So, unless I want to walk home or call my aunt back, I’m kind of stuck here.
I lean against the fence and watch the football team practice. I’ve never been a huge football fan, but I have to admit I like watching Xander run around and catch the ball. I especially like the way his ass looks in his practice pants. All ogling aside, he’s like poetry in motion. The way he darts past the defense and then turns at just the right moment to have the ball drop into his waiting hands is fluid, almost graceful. I have no idea how he makes it look so effortless, but I guess it has something to do with running the same plays over and over again and the relationship he has with his teammates. Xander may not be the quarterback, but he is the team captain, and they listen to every word he says as if he’s king—and it very much works to his advantage, both on and off the field.
In fact, at the beginning of practice one of the guys had whistled when he saw me standing here and called me Red. I’ve never seen someone move so fast, but Xander had a hold of the other guy’s facemask and yanked him in close so no one else could hear what he was saying. Whatever it was, that guy hasn’t so much as looked this way since.
Yep. They listen to him, that’s for sure. And I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of his fury if I were them. He goes from zero to ninety in no time flat, just like a race car, and I can’t say it doesn’t freak me out a little bit. And now with what Justin hinted at earlier? I have to wonder what Xander’s dad is like. The deeper into Xander’s world I go, the more concerns I have—but I can’t help it. I’m spellbound. It’s like he’s sunk his claws into me and isn’t going to let me go.
And I don’t want him to.
Once we’re in Xander’s SUV and on the way home, I can tell he’s still stewing over everything that happened today.
“Talk to me, Xander. Your silence wigs me out.”
“First—I’m sorry you had to wait. I wish I could have just brought you home, but coach vetoed me cutting out on practice with the big game coming up on Friday.”
“I understand. It’s no big deal.” I bite my lip. “You didn’t get into trouble for punching Justin, did you?”
He gives a swift jerk of his head at the same time he lifts his hand from the wheel, flexing and straightening his fingers as if he’s testing them. I didn’t get a good enough look earlier, but his knuckles are bruised up, and the skin is split open on one of them.
I gasp, hands flying to my face. “Oh my God, Xander. The last thing I want is for you to not be able to play because of me.”
“I’m fine. But I want a chance to explain myself.”
My brows draw together. Explain himself? This sounds—ominous.
He glances at me before returning his gaze out the front windshield. “I hate that I’ve exploded like that twice in front of you. My dad was abusive—both physically and verbally—toward my mom and me. It was like that for us right up until we left when I was about ten. I’m sorry, I just can’t stand Justin around you with his tendencies. He was only eleven when his mom married my dad. He’s been through some shit in the last few years.”
The pieces of the puzzle that are Xander Grey shift a little bit, and I see a glimpse of why he reacts so strongly when he sees a perceived threat. “Xander, is that what Justin meant? What you both learned from your dad?”
“Yeah. Only, what we learned is being applied differently.”
“What do you mean?”
“He uses his strength to make those he perceives as weak cower. He takes what he wants and he gives no fucks who he hurts in the process.” His voice hitches. “Like what he was going to do to you at the party.”
I suck in a breath, but nod. “And what did you learn?”
“To protect. From an early age, it was ingrained in me that I had to defend myself and the ones I love.”
He gets quiet after that, and I sense from the rigid set to his jaw he doesn’t want to discuss things further.
I think about what Xander said all the way home. Apparently, he and Justin have seen abuse at the hands of the same man. I feel terrible for both of them, and for their mothers as well. I wonder what finally made Xander’s mom leave. And what it must have been like for Justin and his mom when they realized she’d married a real asshole.
One final thought pops into my brain right after Xander drops me off. Is it possible that what he was doing—trying to get me to leave the school—had been a form of protection? He’s said once before that he’d always protect me. I don’t think I’m ready to ask.
I’m terrified of the answers that lie in wait.
Chapter 38
Late Friday night, I get a text from Xander that makes me blush twenty shades of red.
Xander: Is it bad that all I could think about at the game was the way your face gets all pink and glowy when you come for me?
Xander: It’s pretty damn distracting.
Me: OMG. Stop. Aren’t you on a bus full of guys on the way home from the game?
Xander: Yep. I am. Fun times being at half-mast sitting next to Micah while he snores away.
Xander: But it’s true. Your pleasure is becoming an addiction for me.
I nibble on my lip, not used to this kind of intimate text exchange with anyone.
Me: I’ve been thinking about you, too.
Oh my God, that was totally lame.
Xander: Tell me what you think about.
I roll over onto my stomach in bed. I can’t tell him that I’ve been worrying about the whole situation with Justin. What the real deal is with him and Aria. And whatever the hell is going on with my weird-ass scholarship. Oh, and the cherry on the fucking sundae, that the Unknown Number continues to harass me, asking if I’m looking into things from my mother’s past, which may or may not have included Aria’s aunt.
The honest truth is that I don’t know if I want to know any of those answers, and I’m barely keeping my head above water between school, practice, and work—all of this extra bullshit is distracting. And draining.
And then there’s Xander, who has moved rather quickly in my thoughts from Why are you doing this to me status to O-M-G please do that to me again. Yeah. Enough said there for now.
I cringe, then tap out what I hope is a sexy—but not too sexy—message.
Me: When you told me you guys won the game, I thought about you stripping off all your football gear, all naked and sweaty.
Xander: I can’t fucking wait to see you tomorrow night.
Me: Same.
Xander: We just pulled up at the academy. Night, Red. D
ream of me.
Me: Night, Xan. I’ll wake up touching myself, and it will be all your fault.
Xander: You just had to fucking say that.
Xander: Full. Blown. Hard-on.
Okay, so maybe I do know what I’m doing. My lips curve into a smile as I set my phone back on my charger, then flop back onto my bed.
Don’t mind if I do dream of him …
Chapter 39
My heart is all aflutter. With the exception of Xander walking me from class to class—and he’s been especially vigilant after what went down in the hall with Justin—we really haven’t done anything that would shout that we’re actually together—except maybe the kissing in the parking lot at school. Are we even together? I don’t know. Not really. I’ve continued to eat my lunches with Daphne and Max, but to his credit, Xander has refused to allow Aria to sit on his lap. It kind of irks me that she still hangs on him a bit, but whatever. Girl obviously has some issues. Who doesn’t? She still hasn’t spoken a word to me since the hot tub incident. I wasn’t really expecting her to. It’s cool, though. I’ll just keep right on holding my grudge.
Other than that, we’re just ourselves in class together. Xander’s still putting his arm on the back of my chair, touching me when it’s not entirely appropriate—but it’s different now. He’s teasing me, not taunting me. And there is a huge difference between the two. He’s no longer trying to provoke me, he’s simply being playful. Showing me affection? I think this is how he demonstrates it.
And I like Xander’s affection. I like being the one he looks at in adoration. I like the way his eyes go dark when he whispers promises of all the dirty things he’d like to do to me.
We pull up to the spot where the bonfire is being held and there are already a good three dozen cars in the field surrounding a ginormous fire. People are milling around, talking to friends, and setting up chairs in groups. There is a bunch of food laid out on a picnic table to one side, and another one full of assorted drinks—mostly alcoholic beverages. Maybe Beau will bartend later. I’m unsurprised by the red Solo cups in every single person’s hand because this seems like a stereotypical high school activity—get drunk in the middle of the woods with a hundred of your classmates.
I’d told Aunt Liz this morning that I was attending a big academy bonfire and then maybe spending the night with Daphne afterward. Daphne and Max had opted for movie night instead, and she said she’s fine with being my cover in case I want to stay out. The plan is for me to text Aunt Liz when I decide what I’m going to do and where I’m going—and I will. I don’t want her worrying. Should she be worried? Maybe.
Xander claps his hands together. “Ready for this?”
“I have no idea. But it’ll be fun to find out, right?”
Once we’re out of the SUV, he takes my hand firmly in his. I glance down at them. Okay then. We haven’t been holding hands at school. I guess Xander is at the end of the patience he’d talked about.
I lean into his body as we walk around, surveying the entire area.
He dips his head down toward mine. “You okay?”
“I’m good. What do you want to do?”
Just as I utter the words, we hear a whoop that sounds kind of like a battle cry from the other side of the bonfire. I grin. “Micah sounds like he’s letting loose.”
“He doesn’t do it often, but when he does, better fucking look out.” He laughs and aims crazy eyes at me, shaking his head with a laugh.
Just then Beau scrambles toward us, two cups extended. “I mixed up something special just for the two of you.”
My brows raise as I glance at Xander. “Is this safe for me to drink?”
Beau scoffs. “Of course it is. It’s the drink I made you last week.”
“And that went really well.”
“Good point. But Justin hasn’t shown his face. Pretty sure it’s a mess.”
I feel Xander’s body stiffen beside me. Under his breath, he mutters, “Fucker better not show up.”
Lifting the cup to my lips, I take a careful swallow, and then squeeze Xander’s hand. “Let’s not think about him. Come on. Beau, where’s everyone hanging out?”
Beau leads us over to a bunch of logs situated in a semicircle. He pops a squat on one next to Danica, and I swear his hand immediately goes right for her ass, squeezing it and making her shriek in delight. He puts his face next to her ear, and whatever he says makes her giggle really hard. Pretty sure she’s already tanked. His hand still hasn’t left her ass. All right, then. That’s how it’s going to be.
I press my lips together, then gesture with my cup to a spot next to Micah and Farrah. We sit down and Xander’s arm automatically circles my waist and pulls me closer. I spend a few minutes looking around, enjoying the spirited atmosphere and the warmth of the fire. As I take inventory of who is here, I realize who isn’t. I don’t know what possesses me, but I blurt out, “Where’s Aria?”
Farrah’s brows go up, and as I watch, Micah’s hand grips her wrist and squeezes a warning.
Danica takes another sip of her drink, eyeing me over her cup. “She’ll be here later. Alora is with her.”
“Gotcha.”
After a while, everyone seems to be having a really good time. Music and laughter fill the air. A small group is dancing in front of the fire, which is fun to watch because they are definitely drunk.
I’ve noticed a few couples have disappeared into the woods together, and I can only imagine what’s going on out there.
True to Rose form, someone had convinced their parents to rent a super fancy bathroom set-up for us so no one has to stumble around to pee in the dark. The more everyone drinks, the longer that line gets.
Beau has refilled my cup twice, and before I know it, I have to go. My lips tingling, I press them to Xander’s neck, then whisper, “I’ve got to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“You want me to come with?”
I shake my head. “No, that’s okay. You hang with your boys for a bit.” I get up, steady myself, then walk across the field to get in the back of the line. Conversation between two girls a few feet ahead of me drifts to my ears.
“Is she actually with him, or did he just give her a ride?”
“I don’t know. They’ve been holding hands all night.”
“Who does she think she is?”
“No idea. Aria is going to be super pissed when she finds out.”
One of the girls giggles. “Might serve her right.”
When the two girls pass by me on their way back to the bonfire a few minutes later, I’m surprised to discover it had been a pair of cheerleaders talking like that. I guess it must be hard to be Queen of the Roses. Aria’s subjects seem less than loyal, that’s for sure. They pass by me, eyes bugged out a little, and whisper to each other. Yes. Yes, I heard you.
When I get back to Xander, I reach for my drink, chug the rest of it, then hold my hands out to him. “Dance with me?” I press my tingly lips together when he doesn’t respond right away.
But then he stands, drags my body to his, and whispers huskily in my ear, sending hot sparks of energy shooting through my whole body. “I dance now, you’ll do what I want later?”
I turn around, swiveling my hips to the beat in answer. Even though I hate skirts, I’d worn one just for him. When he steps up behind me, pressing his front to my back, I get lost in it—the music, the feel of his body close to mine, the words he whispers next to my ear as he holds me close.
“Red, do you feel how hard I am for you?”
In answer I push my ass back into him and throw a dreamy smile over my shoulder.
“Fuck, the things I’m going to do to you.”
“Yo, you two, get a room. Or go behind a fucking tree or something.” Micah howls with drunken laughter and Beau joins him. Their whispered comments drift to me on the cool night air.
“She’s got to be driving him out of his mind.”
“Yep, I think he’s a goner.”
Every slide
of our bodies against each other, every time Xander’s hands grip my hips, fingers pressing into my skin—all of it only serves to excite me. Does he really want me the way his friends think he does?
I turn around, wrapping my arms around Xander’s neck. His hands slide down my back until he grips my ass and pulls me tightly to him. I sense a slight hesitation in him, knowing we have an audience, but then his mouth collides with mine. It’s hot and wild, tongues tasting, lips rubbing, teeth nipping. I think he’s about to swallow me whole.
Every lick, every growl sets me on fire until I can’t think about anyone but him. Xander’s hands are all over me, sliding under my shirt, skimming along the waistband of my miniskirt, and I’m loving every second of it, impervious to everyone observing our make-out session.
We go on like that for several minutes before he lets go and takes my hand. “Come with me.”
I laugh, stumbling behind him. “What? No more dancing?”
Beau shouts behind us, his voice loud and boisterous, “That wasn’t dancing! That was foreplay!”
Chapter 40
We break away from the crowd, and I shake my head, slightly amused, as I follow Xander. Apparently, I’ve had just a little too much of the drink Beau’s been mixing for me. “Where are we going?”
“Back to the Escalade,” he growls.
“What?” I tug on his hand. “But I was having fun.”
He whirls back to me, picks me up, and throws me over his shoulder, one hand landing on my ass and squeezing with his wide receiver grip. “We aren’t leaving, sweet cheeks.”
I squeal, my heart thundering. Oh my God, what are we doing?
He hurries back to where we left the vehicle and rounds the back of it, opening the tailgate. Once it’s open, he sets me down on the edge. His eyes are full of lust as he steps between my legs and lowers his mouth to my neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses up and down the length of it. His hands are on my hips, squeezing my waist, as he finds my lips and kisses me senseless, leaving me gasping for breath. He stops for a second, staring into my eyes before he’s set into motion again. He quickly grabs a blanket that was folded up and spreads it out across the bottom of the back of his SUV. “Slide in.”
