“I don’t know, Dad. You keep asking, and I don’t know. I don’t know why they keep coming by. I don’t even know how they know where I live!”
“We can’t have these kinds of people coming into our neighborhood.” Tyler pushed himself away from the wall. He’d made his point clear. “And I’m moving your computer out of your room. You’re grounded. You’re not to use the computer at all. Do you understand?”
Brandon nodded, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand.
~*~
“I don’t want to go to Grandma’s! I want to stay with you! Where’s Mommy?” Celia wailed directly into Tyler’s ear.
It seemed safer for Micah and Celia to stay with his parents for a few days. “It’s only for a couple of nights, sweetheart,” Tyler soothed. “Mommy will be home and Grandma and Grandpa will bring you back. Anyway, you love going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. You’ll have a great time there.”
“No!” she screamed. “Why can’t you come, too?”
“Because I can’t, honey. I’ve got to take care of some things here.”
Lyman, Tyler’s father, pried the screaming child from Tyler’s arms. “No need trying to reason with a five-year-old. Just give her to us. She’ll calm down once we get her home.”
“She’s just upset by everything going on—her mother gone this whole past week…” his mother, Nancy, said softly. She placed her hand on her son’s arm.
He wanted to howl with pain. Looking at his daughter’s distraught face, streaked red with hysteria and glistening wet with tears, proved almost more than he could bear.
Micah, always calm in every circumstance, put his hand on his father’s other arm. His forehead was lined with an all-too-mature concern. “It’s OK, Daddy. I’ll make sure she calms down. You know she gets like this sometimes.”
Tyler pulled Micah close. “Thanks, Micah. I’d really appreciate it if you looked after your sister, OK?”
“Yeah, I know, Daddy. Don’t worry.”
He didn’t know how he’d managed to father four such different children. Micah, the little adult, quiet and responsible even at eight-years-old. Celia, the firecracker—exploding at the most unpredictable moments. Brandon, sullen and withdrawn, barely communicative, impossible to read. And then there was Katherine. It was as if she wasn’t in the world these days. She kept to herself. She didn’t say much, and it was hard to know what she was thinking. In the midst of all of the chaos, Katherine flittered in and out, and he wasn’t keeping track of whether she was supposed to stay with her mother or with him.
Nancy shook her head as she threw a few of Celia’s toys into a bag. “I still don’t understand why you two are thinking about moving across the country. It seems crazy to me when you have such a good life here. And it’ll just be hard on the kids.”
“Mom, I really don’t want to get into all of that. I’m not even thinking about the move right now,” Tyler said. “Right now, I just need to deal with Brandon.”
He helped his parents bundle Micah and Celia into the car. “Give me a kiss before you go.” He leaned inside the car but Celia, her mouth hanging open in a silent, shaking scream, tried to push him away.
“We’ll call you a little later, once we get them in bed.” His father’s face was drawn and sad.
“And you’ll call us if you need anything, won’t you?” his mom asked as she climbed into the car.
“Of course, Mom. And thank you for this. I really appreciate it.” The weight of the situation settled upon him. He could almost sense his father’s disappointment and the thoughts rolling through his head: his son’s dead-end job, failed marriage, troubled son, and now some harebrained plan to move across the country. Would he ever make his dad proud?
14
Kaki
Saturday, December 10
“Damien told me to make sure you buy some higher heels,” Sydney said as they drifted from mall lingerie shop to shoe shop. Sydney flashed Damien’s credit card. “I think you’d look cute in those.” She pointed at a pair of shiny, blood-red pumps with a black heel that looked like a spike long enough to kill a vampire.
“I don’t think I can walk in those.”
“You don’t have to walk in them.”
Kaki hated clothes shopping with Sydney. She used to go out with her mom and buy sports-tees, shorts, and track shoes—gear good for running. Now, all the clothes were about tight, short, high—shackles to prevent her from running.
“Come on.” Sydney grabbed the box containing the shoes and thrust it under her arm. “Let’s get these in your size and go. We got an earlier start tonight. House parties in the ’burbs start earlier than city gigs.”
Through the window of the shoe shop, a scene just outside the store caught her eye. Two girls sitting on a mall bench—Kaki knew them from school; one of them had run track with her—were looking up into the face of a guy Kaki had seen around. He was a gang member. As he turned his head and flashed a wide smile at the girls, the head of a dragon tattoo peered out from the top of his white collar. The girls giggled at something he said, their faces alight with intrigue, probably flattered at his advances.
Kaki’s stomach rolled. She wanted to run over and warn the girls to stay away from him. Run! He was danger. He was the death of their lives as they knew them. He was—
“You ready?” Sydney’s vice-like grip on her upper arm propelled her from the store and away from the girls and the gang member. Even so, his head turned as he saw them, his black stare darting back and forth between hers and Sydney’s. His eyes seemed to say, “I’m watching you.”
~*~
Sydney didn’t drive all the way into the cul-de-sac. “I gotta run get ready for the party,” she said as she pulled up to the corner. “We’re all meeting out at The Diggs tonight.”
Kaki said nothing as she climbed out of the car. Before she closed the door, Sydney called out to her, “Hey, what’s wrong with you? You seem all drippy and emo. You need something?” She started to dig in her purse. “I got some anti-depressants with me.”
Yeah, she did need to take something. All the time now. She never had a normal feeling anymore. In fact, she never knew what she was feeling from one moment to the next. “No, thanks. I got some in the house.”
Sydney nodded and put her hands back on the steering wheel. “OK. See you later, then.” She gunned the car and sped off.
Kaki turned and made her way into the subdivision. She glanced at her cell phone. It was five o’clock. She had about five hours until Damien or Sydney—or someone—picked her up. She’d head back to the house and take something to sleep until then. What else was there to do? Otherwise she’d just sit around dreading the passing hours.
Molly was at her mailbox, and Kaki gave a half-hearted wave. Molly waved back.
“How’s the dog?” Kaki crossed the street.
“She’s doing fine. I think she’s going to have those puppies pretty soon.”
“You keeping her?”
Molly nodded and smiled. “I think so. She’s a little cuddle-bug. She’s pretty much been on my lap all afternoon.”
That would be wonderful—relaxing all afternoon on a couch with a dog curled up in her lap—no worries, no men waiting for her, no Damien. Kaki lingered for a few seconds just in front of the driveway. Her legs were tightly pressed together as she tried to keep out the cold.
“Anyway, I won’t hold you up. You must be freezing,” Molly said, waving her on. Kaki was happy to talk to someone normal. It took her mind off of the things she would have to do that night. “It’s OK. I’m used to it. Hey, could I come by and see the dog sometime?”
“Do you want to come in now?”
“Just for a second.”
Clasping their arms around themselves and against the biting wind, they made their way inside. Stepping into the dry, warm air, Kaki shivered against the contrast.
The little dog was curled on the couch, the fleece throw bunched up underneath her. She looked up as though she’d a
lways lived there, her tail thumping.
“You’ve just made yourself right at home, haven’t you?” Kaki said, a reflexive smile spreading across her face. It was impossible not to smile when looking into this little dog’s doe-eyes. Kaki had always loved animals, and especially dogs, although her family had never had one. Her mother claimed she had enough to take care of with two kids, and although Micah and Celia had begged for a dog repeatedly, her dad kept putting them off. Still hugging herself, Kaki sat down next to the little dog and stroked the top of her head. “Aw. She’s so cute!”
Molly smiled down on the mutt as though she were a proud parent of a newborn baby. “Yeah, she is pretty cute. We’re calling her Trixie.”
“Trixie. She looks like a Trixie.”
“I used to read a lot of Trixie Belden books when I was a kid. Did you ever read those?”
Kaki shook her head. She wasn’t much of a reader before, now she couldn’t remember the last time she’d picked up a book.
“Oh, well, Trixie was this young girl who went around solving mysteries… the stories would probably seem pretty dated if you read them nowadays.”
Kaki ran her hand over the dog’s soft fur. “That’s so cool that you took her in. You rescued her. She probably would’ve died out there.”
“Well, I couldn’t leave her out there in the freezing cold. But I don’t want to let myself become too attached. The owner may come looking for her.”
Kaki shook her head, remembering the heartbreaking scene of the car speeding away from the cul-de-sac and leaving the cold and confused dog behind. She wiped at a tear in the corner of her eye. She figured it was just her eyes watering in the dry heat. Her finger came back with smeared eye makeup. She’d put on a lot before going out with Sydney. “I don’t think so. If they were throwing her away, they won’t want her back.”
Hugging the mail close to her chest, Molly shuddered, still shaking off the chill. “Can I get you anything warm to drink? You want some hot tea or hot chocolate or something?”
Kaki shook her head, unable to take her eyes off the dog. “No, I’m fine.”
Molly set the mail on the coffee table and sank down onto the couch on the other side of Trixie. “You going out tonight with your boyfriend?”
Kaki nodded. Her stomach dipped with dread at the thought of what she would be doing that night. “Umm…yeah, sure.”
“How long have you been seeing each other?”
“A few months.”
“Where’d you meet him?”
Molly asked so many questions. It was probably the teacher-thing rearing its nosy head, prying, reporting any strange behavior. These days all of the teachers were on high alert to make sure the kids weren’t depressed or planning to kill themselves. Just last week her school had set up “safe zones” where kids could go during the day if they were feeling overly stressed and needed a break. Anytime she passed by them, they were filled. She only wished they really were safe zones. She’d live there. “I met him at school.”
“Oh.” Molly eyebrows raised. “Does he go to Runnymede?”
“No. He came to one of my track meets in the fall.”
Molly nodded. Her lips set in a line. Kaki longed to change the subject.
“What’s his name?”
Kaki didn’t know if she should tell Molly his real name, but she didn’t want to make something up. “Damien.”
Molly laughed a little, her eyebrows raising again. “Damien? Wow, that’s quite the name. That makes me think of that movie I saw when I was little. Actually, I wasn’t supposed to see it, but I had a babysitter keeping me, and my grandparents didn’t know we were watching cable TV. Anyway, this movie came on about this kid named Damien who was evil—possessed by the devil or something.”
That description wasn’t too far off of her Damien. Kaki gave a terse smile.
Molly waved her hand, dismissing the conversation. “I’m sure you feel like you’re getting a lesson in seventies pop culture today. I’ll shut up now.”
Kaki was relieved they were moving away from the boyfriend topic. “No, it’s fine. My mom talks a lot about movies she used to watch and stuff. I’ve seen some of them from the eighties. I think there was one called Sixteen Candles?”
Molly’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I loved that movie! That was my favorite movie when I was growing up. I must have watched it twenty-five times when it came out on video. I knew practically every line. And the lead actress shared my name, so I thought that was pretty cool, too.”
Kaki laughed. “Yeah, it was a good movie.”
Molly pulled her long, dark braid over her shoulder. “You know, high school was tough in the eighties, too—lots of cliques and bullying and all that—but I think you guys have it a lot harder. You just have so many things competing for your attention now. Technology pressure, social pressures, pressure to get into a good school. I had the situation with my mom to deal with, but school was OK.”
“What was the deal with your mom?” Kaki was curious.
Molly’s dark eyes met hers. “Oh, my mom was a drug addict. I was raised by my grandparents.”
“Wow. I didn’t know that.” Molly seemed so normal and well-adjusted. But she was almost forty. Maybe people got over stuff by then. Maybe she would too…if she made it to that age.
“Yeah, my mom kept disappearing for days at a time. She’d leave me with this friend and that friend, and finally my grandparents stepped in. They got legal custody of me when I was around six.”
“What about your dad?”
“I never knew him. Don’t have a clue who he is.” Molly’s eyes shifted and her mouth tightened. “That probably gives you some insight into my mother and her dealings with men.”
What would Molly think of Kaki and her dealings with men? “Where’s your mom now?” Kaki asked.
“Haven’t heard from her in years. We think she might be living out in Arizona somewhere but can’t say for sure.”
A silence settled. Kaki looked down at Trixie. She hadn’t stopped petting her. Now the dog was sleeping—her eyes closed, her paws twitching with dog dreams.
“It’s starting to snow,” Molly said, pointing out the window.
White flakes rained down, coating the tips of the grass with a white gloss.
“Later in the week, I think they’re calling for a heavy one. Maybe enough to get us out of school.”
Kaki hoped so. She’d love to have a couple of days of being snowed in where she couldn’t get out of the house and no one could get to her.
“Hey, you hang out some with Sydney Diaz, don’t you?”
Kaki’s muscles tensed. “Sometimes. Why?”
“Well, she’s rarely in school. I’m concerned about her.”
“She told me she’s failing your class.”
“Yeah, but it’s more than that. Her attendance has never been good. She hardly turns in any work, but when she takes a test, she does well. She’s smart, you know? I can just tell she’s got other stuff going on that’s more important to her.”
“Yeah, I don’t think school’s at the top of her list.”
Molly’s gaze rested upon Kaki. “Tell her…if she needs to talk or she wants—or needs—anything…she should come talk to me. I’ll do what I can to help her. I try to keep a professional distance from my students most of the time, but I have a special burden for girls like Sydney. Maybe because I lost my mom to drugs and bad men…I know the signs, you know? All too well. I’ve lived them.”
Kaki’s chest tightened. Molly’s heart was in the right place, but Sydney was too hardened. She didn’t think she needed any help. Kaki wondered if the same thing was happening to her.
15
Tyler
Sunday, December 11
Tyler had stopped going to church. It had been an integral part of his life when he was growing up. No matter what was going on, if the church doors were open, his parents had taken them to church. When he was a teenager and had gotten his first car, his father told him and his
brother in a stern voice, “You can ride with us or you can drive yourself, but once your mother and I are sitting in the pew, I’d better look over and see your faces somewhere in there.”
Lyman Jones was not a man to be questioned. When Tyler and his brother Brett were kids, they lived with the fear of their father’s leather belt—the administrator of justice. He snapped it before he used it on them—that always made Tyler mad. “Just use it already!” he’d wanted to scream at his father. But he wouldn’t have dared. To do so would be to show disrespect—the one thing Lyman Jones never tolerated.
Before Tyler and Brett were born, his father had fought in Vietnam, and when he returned, he’d set up a successful real estate business. Lyman often told his boys that he was proud he had forged his own way in the world. Unlike many of his fellow soldiers, he had not returned with PTSD—or if he had he did not know it—and he wasn’t bound to anyone or anything. He was his own man with his own success. He encouraged both of his boys to do the same thing. “Don’t work to make someone else money. Be innovative, boys. Find what you’re good at and do it. Put your own money in your own pocket. That’s what this country is all about.”
But Tyler figured that when his father said those words, he had not imagined that Brett would find that he was good at playing guitar. Once he was old enough, he moved to Los Angeles to play in a rock band. They rarely saw him but once every three or four years. Lyman had probably not figured that Tyler would end up being good at running government projects—a job that required him to be tied to an employer—and the government. Both things his father hated. So both sons were probably great disappointments to him.
Tyler sighed and looked at the clock. Twelve thirty-eight. Too late to go to church now. An unsettled and restless feeling swept over him as he glanced at his laptop resting neatly on the dining room table. Lana wouldn’t be home until this evening. Micah and Celia were at his parents’ house. Katherine and Brandon were still sleeping. Maybe he should wake them up. Then there would be accountability…
With a surge of anticipation tinged with an underlying sense of guilt, Tyler made his way over to the laptop. With all the stress he’d been under, he deserved a few minutes on his favorite sites. He’d been pretty good this week and had only looked once or twice. Now was the perfect time. This evening, Lana would be home, the kids would be home, and he probably wouldn’t have opportunity.
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