“So what did you fix?” Addi asked. She tossed her poker straight milk chocolate hair behind her back. She had one of those trendy cuts with layers just past her shoulders that I always wished I could wear. My wavy red hair was cut similar but never looked as good as Addi’s.
As a teacher, Addi was always curious how people solved problems. She taught high school chemistry, God help her, and had tough students. Most of them were good, according to Addi, but a few didn’t like to listen to her. She was forever looking for new tools to use to resolve issues. We often traded stories.
It’s amazing how similar high school students were to adults. Both were pains in the ass.
“A guy called up and said his claim wasn’t being paid. I looked into it and the date on the claim was wrong. It’s something Melody should have noticed. I showed Diana and she approved the change to the claim while I was talking to Xander. It was taken care of in about ten minutes.”
They exchanged a look. All three of them. A look that I knew meant they picked up on something. What did I say? I had no idea. But something got their attention.
“Xander? And who is Xander?” Sam chimed in. I saw the smirk in her peaked eyebrow and teasing brown eyes, shadowed behind her red framed glasses.
“Shit,” I said. How could I have been so stupid? I said his name. One fucking word and they were latched on to me like cupcakes on my ass.
Heat crept up my neck and onto my cheeks. I wanted to blame a hot flash, but the nice weather of the day before had turned cold again. It was in the 30’s outside and there was no way they’d believe I was just overheated.
“Are you blushing? What did he say to you?” Claire asked.
I struggled to figure out how to get out of it. I knew it was stupid, thinking about him after one phone call. Yeah, he flirted with me more than any man ever. In my life. But that didn’t mean anything. We didn’t know each other and I knew if we ever met he would run screaming in the other direction.
“It’s nothing. He just said I had a nice voice and wished he could call me again.”
They exchanged another look, this time with raised eyebrows. They were all thinking the same thing…
“Did he call you back?”
The question. The one I didn’t want to answer because it would be admitting that, again, nothing happened. It seemed like forever, since middle school when boys entered my radar, that any time I thought something might be possible, nothing happened. I wasn’t the sort of person that got dates. Guys didn’t ask me out. If they did, they were either also fat or desperate.
I wasn’t shallow, at least I didn’t think I was. But I didn’t always find fat guys attractive. I guess that made me a hypocrite instead of shallow. I got pissed that hot guys didn’t want me but thought it was okay that I didn’t want fat guys.
Okay, so I was shallow and a hypocrite.
I shook my head and took a sip of my hot chocolate. I knew if I said the word ‘no’ they would hear the emotion in my voice and leap all over it. Too bad not speaking was just as much of a trigger.
“You wanted him to, didn’t you?” Claire asked softly.
“Fine, yes. I liked having him flirt with me. It was exciting and empowering. I know it’s stupid, but it felt good for a few minutes to have someone tell me I was beautiful and he wanted to talk to me again. I’d be a fool to think anything would come of it though.”
“You never know,” Addi added. “Crazy things happen all the time. I dream about finding someone who is a decent guy. A hot, sexy guy who comes home to me every night. Passionate sex. Lots of love, too. A few kids. The white picket fence. Maybe even a few cats.”
“Cats are overrated. You should get a dog,” Sam teased. It was an ever-present debate between us. Claire and Sam loved dogs, but Addi and I were cat fans. We argued that dogs are like men, well like men with hot women. They were always happy to see you and hump your leg. Cats were like women, full of attitude and stubborn as hell.
I always wondered if it meant Addi and I tended toward playing for the other team, but I’d never found a woman attractive, and I didn’t think Addi had either. We just liked a quiet home and a pet we didn’t have to be dedicated to.
Of course that also probably meant we weren’t ready for kids.
No, I could answer that one… I was definitely not ready for kids.
You had to have a partner for that. Or at least it was preferred. I wasn’t prepared to be a single mom.
I laughed along with my friends as they debated the good and bad points of having dogs vs. cats, chiming in as necessary to back up Addi.
“Sam, have you photographed anyone interesting lately?” I asked when the animal chat subsided.
Sam rolled her eyes. Her whole body shook like she was trying to eliminate a bad memory. “I had a bride from hell this weekend. She was every bit as horrible as I thought she would be, but she’s done. I meet with her tomorrow to review all the photographs.”
“She didn’t go on a honeymoon?” Addi asked.
Sam shook her head, her long chestnut hair falling over her shoulders, and sipped her black coffee. I don’t know how she handled that, but she said it was something she’d gotten used to. Coffee was usually a standard at photo shoots and taking time to doctor it up, or having someone else do it for you, was not possible with Sam’s schedule. She got used to drinking it black because it was never right any other way.
“Supposedly they’re waiting for the summer when the weather is a little better and then headed to California to tour the vineyards in Napa and Sonoma Valleys. I would have just waited until then to get married.”
“Me too,” Claire said. “I can’t imagine not going on a honeymoon. Even if it’s just a few days away because money is tight, I would insist we go on a honeymoon. You know, if I ever got married.”
“I agree,” Addi said. “With school I would have to wait until classes were out of session, but I would wait to get married over summer break. Plus, the summer around here is the prettiest time of year anyway.”
“Blah,” I added. “I hate summer. Maybe because I sweat so much. I would want to get married in the fall or spring when it’s still nice outside but not so hot that I melt into a pool of goo.”
“Ugh, I wish I had that choice,” Addi replied. “That’s one of the bad things about being a teacher. My time off is limited. I could always get married over spring break or even winter break, but no one wants to be in Winterville in the winter. Hell, the spring is bad enough. Did you guys hear it might snow this weekend?”
We all groaned together, frustrated with the weather. A part of me secretly loved it, but after almost six months of winter, even I was getting a little tired of it. Everyone was.
“So, Mandy, did you look at Xander on Facebook or Twitter? Is he hot?”
I rolled my eyes. The conversation about Xander had passed, but dammit Sam brought him back up. Hell yes, I’d looked him up online. About 3.5 seconds after we hung up the phone. But I sure as hell didn’t want to admit that. Even to my best friends.
“No,” I tried. I knew they’d see through me, but I had to try.
“Oh, you so did. Is he hot?”
“What’s his last name?”
“Carlson,” I answered without thinking. Sam had her phone out and was searching before I knew it.
“No!” I called, diving for her phone. She held it out of my reach while Facebook pulled up Xander’s profile.
Yesterday I was thrilled that he had a public profile and I could browse through all his pictures and updates. Xander was even hotter than I’d imagined. He looked like a model. Unfortunately there weren’t any pictures of him shirtless, but I could tell he was built. His t-shirts stretched across his muscles like a second skin, just enough to tease my eyes but not leaving much to my imagination. His smile was bright and beautiful, and when I zoomed in close, I could almost imagine it was just for me.
Not that I did that.
Much.
But as I watched my friends hudd
le around Sam’s phone doing the same thing I did yesterday frustrated me. I wanted to keep him to myself, like a secret crush. I couldn’t have them looking at him, seeing the truth.
No doubt they would see the same thing I did… a man way out of my league.
“He’s totally hot, Mandy. And he was flirting with you?”
The disbelief in Addi’s voice both pissed me off and hurt me. I wanted to believe maybe someone like me could actually get a guy like him, but Addi didn’t believe it so I had no reason to.
“Yeah, I know, he’s out of my league. It’s not like I had any hope of anything happening. He has no idea what I look like. I’ll likely never hear from him again so it doesn’t make a difference.”
Claire heard the hurt in my voice and tried to do damage control. Sam and Addi traded looks of shock and uncertainty. “You never know, Mandy. He might not be like all the other hot jerks out there. Some guys are decent.”
“He doesn’t know me, Claire. I’d love to think a guy could love me, but I’m happy with my life. I don’t need a guy.”
They all looked at me like I was full of shit. I knew I was too, but I wasn’t going to admit it. Xander had stirred something in me, something that made me want to believe I could have more in my life than great friends and a good job. Something more than a lonely life with no one to come home to.
All that with one phone call. I could only imagine what he would do if I ever met him.
And discovered he wasn’t an asshole.
Three
By Friday of that week I’d almost forgotten about Xander Carlson. Sure, I’d Facebook stalked him a few more times and considered using genetic software to see what our kids would look like, but really, he was as far from my mind as he could be.
My weekend was looking to be pretty boring but I didn’t care. It would be a few days away from Melody and her bitchiness. She’d gotten worse through the week, trying to catch me in everything I did. I’m pretty sure she spent more time reviewing my calls than answering her own.
I really had no idea what her issue was. She was nice to just about everyone else, but never liked me. I tried to shrug it off, but it bugged me. I mean really, what did she have to be jealous about?
Melody was perfect. She had that long flowing blonde hair every woman dreamed of having. She was thin with large, perky breasts. Don’t judge me, she put them on display every day. She always was dressed to the nines in business suits and three or more inch heels. Her make-up was impeccable. She drew the attention of every man in the place, and half the women.
But she was a bitch. With a capital B.
I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I really did. Maybe she had a rough childhood or she was miserable. Maybe she was still sore that Oscar moved on without her. Or maybe she was just a bitch.
Unfortunately, I was pretty sure it was the last one.
“Mandy, I’d like to speak with you. Could you come to the conference room, please?” Diana said as I set the phone down mid-afternoon. She didn’t sound upset, but there was no way of knowing what was going on.
“Sure,” I said, locking my computer and following her down the hall.
In the conference room the whole group had assembled. Melody walked in behind me, her heels clicking on the vinyl flooring. “Are you going to stand there and clog up the entire doorway, or are you going to let the rest of us in?” she snarled.
I shook my head and moved out of her way. She wasn’t worth my time, or my energy, so I just ignored her, but man I wanted to slap the shit out of her. She didn’t come out and say it, but I heard the fat comment in the tone of her voice, and it bugged me.
“Please take your seats, everyone,” Diana said from the front of the room.
I moved to the only open seat left, between Mandy and Pete, the smelly guy who had a cube near the bathrooms. It couldn’t have been worse. I prayed for a quick meeting.
“I’m not sure how many of you have heard,” Diana began, “but I’ve decided to retire. I’m going to finish out this month and next. Starting in June, you will have a new boss.”
Everyone started murmuring around me. I never thought Diana would leave. She was practically an institution around there. Even though I hadn’t been there long, I knew Diana was the backbone of customer service. Having someone else take over would almost certainly mean changes. I just wondered who would step up and do it.
I’d love to, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for the challenge. I was still new. I had a lot to learn.
“How’s it gonna feel to have me as a boss? Diana loves me. And Oscar is her boss, so I’m a shoe-in for the job. Actually, you know what? You’re not gonna have me as a boss because the first thing I’m going to do is fire your fat ass for insubordination. Oh, I can see it now.”
Melody trailed off, letting me imagine her as my boss. I shuddered. There was no way in hell that was going to happen. If Melody became my boss she would make good on her threats. She’d find a way to fire me. Without Diana around I wasn’t sure I’d make it much longer.
“Many of you are qualified for my position,” Diana’s voice broke through my stupor. I looked up to find her staring right at me as she spoke. “I truly hope you apply for my job. You’d be a great fit, and the company would be lucky to have you take on a manager role.”
I knew she wasn’t speaking directly to me, but it felt like it. Or maybe she was, but was trying to make everyone feel like they should apply. Maybe I could step into her job. I was good at my job, why couldn’t I be good at Diana’s?
I left the meeting a few minutes later with everyone else. Melody was right behind me as I walked out the door. “You know she was talking to me when she said I’d be a great fit. The job is as good as mine. And I can’t wait to see you go up in flames. It’ll be my greatest pleasure to have you fired.”
“Really?” I quirked an eyebrow at her. “Your greatest pleasure? I feel bad for you then. I really thought with your perfect body you’d have found men better at sex than that. But if it really will be your greatest pleasure maybe I shouldn’t fight you on it. I really feel badly for you.”
I left Melody sputtering in outrage as I walked back to my cube. I could only laugh.
Diana was in her cube when I passed by so I stopped in to congratulate her.
“You must be excited, Diana. Congratulations on your retirement.”
She spun around in her chair. Her grey hair was tied back in her standard bun, her green eyes shining like they always were. “I am excited. At first I wasn’t so sure, but my husband and I are making plans to tour the country this summer, see some of the places we’ve always wanted to see. We’re going to visit our children and grandchildren. It’s going to be a nice change for me.”
“I’m happy to hear that,” I told her, genuinely happy for Diana. “I only hope our new boss is as wonderful as you.”
She tilted her head to the side as if trying to figure something out. “You know I was talking about you, right? When I said you’d be a great fit. I know you’ve only been here five years, but you have potential. You’re kind and smart and wasting your talents hiding behind the phone. I really hope you’ll apply for my position. I’d love to leave it in hands as capable as yours.”
Stunned, I stood there gaping at her, wondering what to say. “Thank you,” was all that came out. I was shocked and touched. “I will think about it,” I told Diana as I left her cubicle and headed back to mine.
I was still in a daze when my phone rang a little while later. I picked it up, grateful for the distraction to get me through the end of the day.
“Western New York Health, Mandy speaking. How can I help you today?”
“Mandy, it’s good to hear your voice.”
It was him. Fuck! Why was he calling me again? And why were my nipples jumping up to say hi on their own.
“Xander, how are you? Did you get your EOB?” I was breathing heavily, trying not to be too excited that he called me. After all, it was probably another problem with
his claim.
“You remember me?”
“Uh,” I stammered. Shit! I should have let him reintroduce himself. Isn’t the first rule of getting a guy to like you to play hard to get? And wouldn’t making him think you forgot him fall under playing hard to get?
Yeah, there was a reason I didn’t date.
“I, um, I do remember you. Your voice is very distinct.”
‘Very distinct?’ What the hell was that supposed to mean?
“Distinct. And here I got my hopes up that maybe you had the slightest interest in me.”
Did he really just say that? To me? I thought I was going to have a heart attack. And I couldn’t even blame the stairs. I worked on the first floor.
“I don’t know anything about you, Xander. I don’t spend too much of my time wondering about men that I have only spoken to once and don’t know.”
‘LIAR!’ my mind screamed. I made it sound like I hadn’t been on Facebook every day to see if he mentioned our conversation, or added new pictures of himself. Nope, I hadn’t gone through his profile with a fine-toothed comb looking for indicators that he had a girlfriend, or wife. And I certainly hadn’t been thinking about him day and night.
Yeah, right.
“Well, I think we need to change that. I was hoping you would meet me sometime. I’d love the chance to maybe buy you a cup of coffee.”
I smiled. No, it wasn’t a smile. It was a shit-eating grin. I couldn’t stop it from covering my face, making me feel like one of the beautiful people. He was gorgeous, simply stunning. And he was asking me out.
Me!
Mandy Ryan!
We weren’t actually supposed to date our customers, but it was more of an unwritten rule than anything. It’s not like we would always know what kind of insurance people had, but it was generally frowned upon to start dating someone once you knew they were a customer.
Chubby & Charming (Big & Beautiful Book 1) Page 2
