by Ginna Gray
How he wished that he could spend his final days just taking in those simple pleasures, instead of worrying about the business and what was to become of his family if they lost it.
He couldn't let that happen. He had to do something.
But what? He'd already tried everything he could think of, short of borrowing from the bank, and he'd be damned if he'd do that. He wouldn't give that prick Rupert a toehold into Malone's, even if the man was his darling Laurel's father-in-law.
Maybe Martin was right. Maybe the offer from Bountiful Foods was the only way to ensure a secure future for Lily and the girls.
The instant the thought slid through Jacob's mind, everything inside him recoiled from it. No. No, dammit, there had to be another way. There had to be.
"Are you all right, Jacob?"
The gentle touch of Nan's hand on his forearm brought him back to the present. Only then did he realize that he was gripping his cup so tightly it was rattling against the saucer like a castanet. "Yes, of course. I'm fine." He quickly drank the rest of the coffee and placed the cup and saucer on the table.
"You sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Actually, I'm having one of my better days. It seems to go that way. I have days when I feel I'm on a fast downhill slide, then for no apparent reason, I have a good day or two when I don't feel half-bad. There's no explaining it, but I'll take what I can get."
Nan put down the toast she was buttering and touched his arm once again. Her blue eyes, so like his own, swam with painful emotions. "Jacob, I'm so sorry. I'd give anything if I could—"
"I, know, sis." He covered her hand with his free one, giving it a little squeeze. "I know."
Deep affection for his sister filled him. Like all siblings, he and Nan had teased and tormented each other as youngsters and they'd had differences over the years, but they shared a special bond that neither time nor distance could diminish. The raw pain and sorrow in her eyes made him ache for her.
Nan had arrived the evening before. As always, she'd brought a mountain of luggage with her, which had forced Katherine to pick her up at the Dallas airport in Lily's Cadillac instead of that impractical sports car of hers. By the time they returned last night he'd been so tired he'd barely done more than kiss his sister hello before retiring.
As though just thinking about her had somehow conjured her up, the door from the kitchen opened and his oldest daughter stepped out onto the terrace. At once, Jacob's tender smile faded. He tried to remain calm and indifferent, but as he watched her walk toward them the old resentment rushed up inside him like bile rising in his throat, and he clenched his jaw.
Nan withdrew her hand from his and quickly dabbed at her eyes with her napkin before turning to the girl with a welcoming smile.
"Well, good morning, sleepyhead. I was wondering when you'd wake up. Come, join us. As usual, Ida Lou has made twice what Jacob and I can eat. Which ought to be just about enough for you," she added with a teasing twinkle in her eyes that irritated Jacob all the more.
He'd never understand his sister's attachment to the girl. There was no doubt that she loved Laurel and Jo Beth, but she'd always had a soft spot in her heart for Katherine—or Maggie, as everyone else insisted on calling her. It had been no surprise to him when she had turned to Nan for sympathy seven years ago. Or that his sister had given it.
"Actually, I've been up for hours. I went for a run at dawn, then had a snack with Ida Lou before I showered."
"Mmm, but I'll wager you can still eat some breakfast, right?"
She grinned. "Right."
Changing direction, she went to the food cart and piled a plate high with pancakes and bacon and scrambled eggs. "Where's Momma and Jo Beth?" she asked as she took a seat at the table and poured a cup of coffee from the carafe.
"They've gone to early church service. Something that wouldn't hurt you to do once in a while."
"I'm sure you're right, Daddy," she replied with an impudent grin, and scooped up a bite of pancake dripping with butter and syrup. She chewed thoughtfully, then waggled her fork at him when she'd swallowed the bite. "But you know, I'm not too sure Brother Taylor and his congregation would be pleased to have a sinner like me at their Sunday morning service."
"What nonsense. Shame on you, child, teasing your daddy that way," Nan scolded. "And as for you, Jacob, I don't know why you assume she doesn't go to church. Maggie and I attend services together every Sunday morning when she's in New York."
Jacob knew he should be pleased by the information, probably should offer an apology, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Instead he felt his frustration rise another notch. Trust Katherine not to do what you expected.
Ignoring him, she glanced at her wristwatch and addressed Nan. "We can make the next service if you'd like."
"I'm a bit jet-lagged this morning, love. You go on without me. I'll just sit here and visit with Jacob."
The kitchen door opened again, and Ida Lou stuck her head out. "Maggie, there's some woman named Val on the telephone for you. You want me to bring the phone out there?"
"That's okay. I'll take it inside." She took two more quick bites of pancakes before dabbing at her mouth. "That's Val Brownley, the head of the modeling agency. She probably wants to twist my arm to take a job."
"A job?" Jacob snorted. "Surely you don't call what you do work? It's an embarrassment, is what it is. Posing for pictures wearing practically nothing.
"Why, the whole town was buzzing about that sports magazine cover a few months ago. There you were, prancing around on the beach in two little scraps of cloth, for all the world to see."
Maggie laughed. "It's called a swimsuit, Daddy. A very expensive one, I might add, by a top designer."
"You wore more than that to go swimming when you were a baby."
"Ah, but I'm not a baby anymore."
"You made that patently obvious to every ogling fool who cared to look. Every place I went in town, there was that magazine with that picture of you on the cover, flaunting yourself like a prostitute. It was embarrassing.
"I didn't send you to Harvard to become an exhibitionist. You have a good brain and a master's degree, but do you use them? No, you'd rather take up a useless, narcissistic career that doesn't require an ounce of intelligence and allows you to make an indecent spectacle of yourself."
As usual, his anger didn't find a target—not with his daughter, at any rate. Nan bristled and muttered, "Jacob, really!" but Maggie merely shrugged and flashed another impudent grin.
"A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." She rose and patted his shoulder as she passed him and murmured, "Look at it this way, Daddy. Every family has to have a black sheep."
She headed for the house with that sassy walk of hers, as though she hadn't a care in the world. Simmering, Jacob watched her go, the old corrosive feelings he'd thought he'd buried years ago churning inside him.
"You're an idiot, Jacob Patrick Malone. A complete dunderhead."
"Don't start, Nan. I don't want to hear it."
"Well, you're going to hear it!" she snapped, jumping to her feet. "For your information, being picked for the cover of The Sports Gazette is an honor. Every model dreams of snagging that job.
"And another thing," she went on before he could respond, angrily thumbing her chest. "If you've got a complaint about her career choice, take it up with me. I'm the one responsible for Maggie becoming a model. Believe me, she would never have considered it on her own. In fact, the first time I suggested she give it a try, she was so startled she burst out laughing."
On a roll now, Nan began to pace beside the table, punctuating her words with sharp hand gestures. "Growing up in this family with a mother and two sisters who looked like Dresden dolls, the poor girl had always thought of herself as homely and awkward.
"Granted, she did go through an unfortunate stage during her early teens, but what no one, most of all Maggie, seemed to notice was that by eighteen she had blossomed.
"At first, she resisted the idea, but
I kept badgering until finally she gave in and went to the Valentina Modeling Agency just to shut me up. She was convinced they'd take one look at her and laugh her out of the office, but to her surprise, they signed her to a contract on the spot. Within a year she became one of the most sought-after models in the world. And with good reason. In case you haven't noticed, Jacob, your oldest daughter is a stunning beauty."
He opened his mouth to make a pithy comment, but she cut him off.
"Regardless of what you think about the modeling profession, at that time it was the best thing that could have happened to her. When Maggie arrived on my doorstep she was a shattered wreck, thanks to you. Modeling has given her poise and self-confidence and rebuilt her sense of self-worth."
Nan stopped and regarded him, her accusing expression tinged with sadness and confusion, and when she spoke again her voice was soft, almost pleading. "How could you do that to her, Jacob? How could you throw her out of your life that way? Your own precious child."
Jacob clenched his jaw so hard his teeth hurt. Trust Nan to take him to task. Ever since he was diagnosed with cancer his family and friends had tiptoed around him, treating him with kid gloves, but mollycoddling had never been his sister's style. It was a trait he'd always admired in her. Until now.
Dammit, she didn't understand. No one did.
"Katherine didn't leave me any choice. What she tried to do was unforgivable."
"You mean what Martin claimed she tried to do," Nan shot back. "I'll never understand how you could take that little worm's word over your own daughter's."
Jacob shot his sister a stern look. "Kindly remember that you're talking about the man Laurel loves."
Nan responded with an unladylike raspberry and rolled her eyes. "Oh, that's right. Heaven forbid anyone should fault Laurel for anything, even if it is only her poor taste in men. God alone knows what she ever saw in Martin Howe. Oh, he's a good-looking charmer, I'll grant you that, but underneath he's still the spoiled, overbearing bully he was as a child.
"Frankly, we both know if he wasn't married to Laurel you would have given him the boot years ago. If I were running the company, I'd do it, anyway."
"Now, Nan, you're too hard on the boy. Martin does his job," Jacob protested, but deep down he knew his sister was right. He would never have tolerated such poor performance from any other employee. Much as it galled him to do so, he'd turned a blind eye for Laurel's sake, but the truth was, his son-in-law was a slacker. He had to constantly prod and push the man just to get him to do his job.
"Oh, please, Jacob. The man's a complete screw-up and you're a fool for siding with him against your own child."
Jacob stiffened. "Regardless of what you think of Martin, Katherine's reputation didn't exactly inspire trust."
"That may be the excuse you've given yourself to ease your conscience, but we both know that your animosity toward Maggie started long before that night."
"That's absurd."
"You've always doted on Laurel and Jo Beth, but you're distant with Maggie."
"Not this again," he groaned. "Look, Nan, I've told you at least a hundred times over the years, I don't treat Katherine any different than her sisters."
"Horsefeathers. If either of the younger girls was one of the world's top models you'd be busting your buttons, but you rake Maggie over the coals. You can deny it until you're blue in the face, but you know and I know that from the day Maggie was born you've tried to ignore her existence."
"That's ridiculous. She's received exactly the same advantages and privileges as her sisters—a good home, a top-notch education, dance lessons, music lessons, nice clothes, almost everything she ever wanted. Even a car when she was sixteen."
"Things. Those are all things, Jacob. Not once did you ever show her the least bit of love or warmth."
Unable to deny the charge, he gritted his teeth and looked away, but Nan was relentless.
"Admit it, Jacob. You know I'm right."
"If I didn't show her as much affection it's because Katherine wasn't an easy child to love," he muttered. "She still isn't."
"What rot. For the first twelve years of her life she practically turned herself wrong side out trying to please you. I'm telling you, it was painful to watch.
"Maggie was born with an exuberant nature, but she clamped down on it and struggled to become the perfect child—quiet, helpful, studious. Obedient and polite to the point of nausea. And she did it all to win your love and approval."
"Well, she certainly made up for lost time when she hit her teens," he snapped. "She should have been valedictorian. She had the highest grades of anyone in her high school class. But because of her abominable behavior her mother and I had to sit there and watch that Janowich boy give the valedictory speech at graduation."
Nan stared at him and shook her head. "You just don't get it, do you. What did you expect? After twelve years she finally figured out that pleasing you was hopeless, so she said 'To hell with it.'
"I think, subconsciously, she decided that if she couldn't get your attention by being good, she'd get it any way she could." She paused a beat to let that soak in, then added, "And it worked, didn't it, Jacob?"
"Oh, she got my attention, all right. It's easy for you to criticize, but that girl has caused her mother and me many a sleepless night and quite a lot of embarrassment and expense. I was constantly being called to the school. And I had to make reparation for those stupid stunts she pulled, you know."
To Jacob's astonishment, a grin twitched Nan's mouth. "Oh, I don't know," she drawled. "Personally, I thought some of them were quite clever. Smuggling that cow onto the second floor of the high school in the middle of the night, for one. I would have loved to've been a fly on the wall when Principal Davies arrived at school the next morning.
"By the way, did they ever find out how she did it?"
"No. But that little prank cost me a bundle. I had to hire a crane and have the animal hoisted out a window. I also had to pay a cleanup crew to scoop up the mess the frightened beast left behind and have the entire second floor repainted and fumigated. Dammit, Nan, stop laughing. It wasn't funny. There was cow dung everywhere."
"Actually, it was hilarious."
She stifled her chuckles and studied her brother's angry profile. "Tell me something. Didn't Maggie always own up to what she'd done? Did she ever once try to deny her guilt, or put the blame on someone else or feign ignorance of a deed?"
"No. I'll give her that," he admitted grudgingly.
"Yet … you chose to believe Martin."
Surprise, then a niggle of guilt rippled through Jacob, but he scowled and ignored both. "They're not the same things at all."
"Hmm. Anyway, my point is, you've wronged that girl, Jacob. And that isn't like you. She's a bright, beautiful, warm person, but you've always been distant with her. Why? How could you treat her that way all these years?"
He looked away toward the orchard, emotions boiling inside him. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Dammit, Jacob, you're dying. For your own sake, as well as hers, you have to make amends while you still have the chance. For pity's sake, she's your daughter!"
Something inside Jacob snapped. He shot his sister a furious glare. "That's just the trouble," he snarled. "I don't think she is mine."
The statement had the impact of a bomb going off. Suddenly it felt as though all the oxygen had been sucked right out of the air. Slack-jawed, Nan could only stare at him for several seconds.
"Oh, Jacob. You can't believe that Lily was unfaithful to you."
"Of course not! Don't be ridiculous." His mouth thinned, and he looked away, the muscles in his jaws working. When he looked back at her, fury and reluctance warred inside him. Fury won.
"She was raped," he said in a flat voice. "Exactly eight months and twenty-three days before Maggie was born."
"Dear God, Jacob!" Nan sank down onto the chair beside his as though her legs were suddenly too weak to support her. "I didn't know. All this time, a
nd I had no idea."
"No one knows. At least … no one in this town. Just Lily and me and the Houston police."
"It happened in Houston?"
He nodded, staring into the middle distance, only remotely aware that Nan had taken hold of his hand. "I went there to call on several of our accounts, and Lily went with me to do some shopping. I dropped her off at Neiman Marcus that morning on my way to my first appointment. She returned to the hotel before I did. When she unlocked the door to our room a man pushed her inside."
Shaking his head, Jacob squeezed his eyes shut against the painful rush of memory. Other than the police who investigated, he'd never told the story to anyone before, had tried not to let himself think about what happened, but now that he'd started he couldn't stop.
"She fought him, but she didn't stand a chance. I found her an hour later, beaten unconscious, so bloody and bruised I hardly recognized her. Oh, God," he groaned, cupping his free hand over his eyes. "I blame myself. If I had just come back sooner, instead of having a drink with my last customer, that bastard wouldn't have touched her. Or if I'd taken her with me. I should never have left her alone."
"Jacob, don't! It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. The blame lies entirely with that animal who attacked Lily. Not you."
"That's … that's what the police said, but—"
"No buts. They were right. And I'm quite sure that Lily doesn't blame you." Nan massaged his hand and shook her head mournfully. "Poor Lily. No wonder she's always seemed so fragile. Did the police catch the man who did it?"
He shook his head, and Nan made a disgusted sound.
"Lily and I stayed in Houston until her physical wounds healed. We let everyone, even Dad, think that we were taking a long vacation. Lily couldn't bear for anyone in Ruby Falls to know what had happened to her.
"But it was the emotional damage that animal inflicted on her that worried me most. For months after we returned she was still like a zombie. She was so shattered I was afraid to leave her alone, for fear that she'd take her own life."
"Then she found out she was pregnant, and she snapped out of the depression instantly. It was like flipping a switch. It never seemed to occur to her that the baby might be her attacker's. I think she blocked the whole thing out of her mind.
