Wearing My Halo Tilted

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Wearing My Halo Tilted Page 10

by Stephanie Perry Moore


  Melvin glanced over at me before looking back at the road. “I just told you how nice you look. I don’t give out undeserved compliments. Besides, you’re not getting me in trouble with the boss. The place he is taking you to is casual so you’re fine anyway. And y’all won’t have much time. Only an hour or so before I have to pick you both up and get you over to the Houston Civic Center. Then I’ll make sure the bags get taken to your room.”

  Melvin dropped me off in front of a Japanese restaurant. I thought I was having déjà vu. How’d I feel about Bryce assuming I wanted to go out with him again? The thought of him just making plans without consulting me made me uneasy inside. However, the moment he opened up my car door and I saw Bryce waiting at the entrance with flowers, all of my resistance melted away like snow does when the sun shines bright. Trying to hide my excitement, I showed all of my teeth, something I rarely did because I hated them. When I noticed what I was doing, I quickly shut my mouth and looked away.

  “Come on, smile,” Bryce said. And before I could get all into him for not checking with me before making plans, he apologized for it and said everything right.

  “You look beautiful and you smell great. You’ve just made me more excited about taking the stage tonight.”

  We were sitting on the Japanese floor. As he studied my squinted face, he read my mind once again. I was thinking, Finally, someone else likes sushi just as much as me. I could eat it again and again, but Dillon, being a steak and potatoes man, would never go for sushi more than once a month, much less back to back. Bryce was connecting with me in many ways. I couldn’t help but feel relaxed.

  “I hope you don’t mind that we’re eating sushi again.”

  “No,” I uttered in such a soft whisper that I could have been on Mars and been satisfied. “I don’t mind at all.” I started smiling again and looked away.

  He caught me that time, pushed my cheek back to face him and said, “Why do you do that? Why do you hide your smile?”

  “My parents kept braces on me when I was younger and like a stupid head I didn’t wear my retainers. My teeth have shifted. I truly hate my smile.”

  “It’s not ugly, Shari, it’s sexy. It’s you. Plus, you learned a hard lesson, don’t beat yourself up. You should’ve worn your retainers though. But you can get braces again or you can get overlays.”

  “Yeah, right, like I can afford it.”

  “Why do you keep making money jokes? I’m gonna fix that tonight.”

  “What do you mean you’re gonna fix that tonight?”

  “I’m gonna fix that tonight, pretty lady. You watch me.” Bryce might not have realized what he was doing, but he fed me raw fish.

  With his skin as the extra sauce, the raw fish and rice tasted mesmerizingly delicious. It was so good that I sucked his finger as it exited my mouth. When his eyes appeared as if they wanted to devour me, I realized how much I was turning him on. I couldn’t hide my smile then. The twinkle in my eye proved I had the hots for a man that was not my husband. Lord, help me.

  After I made sure my books were set up nice and neat, I felt a little hungry. So I went around backstage to the greenroom. Before I could enter the door, I heard fierce yelling coming from the room.

  “You haven’t returned any of my calls and I don’t understand what’s going on!” the familiar voice of snooty Lacy screamed out.

  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who she was talking to and I didn’t even peek into the room. Yet I was correct when the next voice I heard was that of Bryce’s. It was five minutes away from show time. The backstage hallway was completely empty. Most of the actors were on the side wing waiting for the curtain to let up because the first act was a big musical number including the whole cast. The two leads were back here in a heated discussion. I know I should’ve walked away, but I was frozen solid when I heard Bryce speak.

  In a voice fit for a doctor telling a family there was no hope for their loved one, he said, “Look, I’m sorry. It’s over, okay? I don’t want to hurt you, but that’s just the way it is?”

  “You’re just saying that ’cause you found some new floozy to mess up your mind.”

  Okay, I started sweating then. Did she know about us? And was there even an us to know about?

  “I tried to cut ties with you before this play even started.”

  Lacy ranted, “You said you were going back to your wife not going back to some other—”

  “Don’t even go there,” he said, cutting her off before any negative, nasty words could come out of her mouth.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Lacy changed her voice to that of a pitiful one. “If you leave me, I can’t make it. Anyway, no one knows you like I do. We’d have nothing standing in our way once you get your divorce.”

  “It’s over,” Bryce said with force as I heard footsteps toward my direction.

  Bryce was probably headed toward the stage. I couldn’t have either of them catch me listening in. The desperation in Lacy’s voice was truly a lady in love with a broken heart, and a part of me did feel for her. But I wasn’t her doctor and I wasn’t trying to make her feel better. She wasn’t a nice person to me or others. Whether Bryce and I got together or not. He didn’t need to be with her.

  “Please don’t leave me, please.”

  “You gotta let go of me,” he yelled as I saw his foot inch out the frame of the doorway.

  I stepped into view, and said, “They’re waiting for you guys onstage.” What a quick save, I thought in my mind.

  “Great.” Bryce looked at me, and said, “Just in time.”

  He left the two of us alone. Lacy fell to the floor, water all over her face. She clutched her knees up to her chest and rocked back and forth. She appeared in a trance like his words and the separation had really destroyed her. I did completely feel sorry for her at that moment. No woman should be so down that when a man says it’s over she can’t go on. I went over to a table with scarce appetizers on it, from where the cast had gobbled them up before the show, and grabbed one of two napkins left.

  “Here,” I said to her. “You’ve gotta get back in makeup. We need you on stage.”

  As if she wanted to harm me, she uttered, “You.”

  I guess I gave her enough motivation that she stood to her feet quickly. The diva got all up in my face waving her hands around. It took all my composure to give her the benefit of the doubt.

  To take it up another level, she started spilling out false accusations. “It’s because of you he doesn’t want me anymore. Look at you, you can’t even compare to me. I know he’s interested in you. But I swear, it’s going to wear out and one day you’ll be just like me. Enjoy the ride while you can, because it doesn’t last long. And he won’t even pull over and let you out. You’ll feel like he’s going ninety miles an hour and then he’ll open the door and push you.”

  Lacy didn’t grab the napkin out of my hand. She rolled her eyes, grunted at me, and grabbed the last one left on the table. But she wasn’t hurting my feelings with her ugliness.

  She walked out saying, “I don’t need anything from you.”

  Leaning back on the door, I sighed. She vented words of a sore loser. But Bryce and I hadn’t even committed to anything. Did she really sense I was taking her guy’s interest? Plus, Bryce belonged to someone else anyway. She didn’t need to get upset with me.

  For me, the night was starting out like any other. Nothing spectacular in terms of my sales numbers; four or five books sold. Leading up to intermission, Mel frantically came over.

  “Come on, you gotta grab your stuff,” he huffed, out of breath.

  “What do you mean my stuff? All my books?” I asked with a dumbfounded glare.

  Motioning for me to hurry, he said, “Well, just one book should be good I think. Also, get your purse or your personals. I gotta take you backstage. We don’t have much time.”

  “What for?”

  Mel placed his hand on my shoulder. “Bryce needs you onstage. Come on,
come on, come on! Girl, you ’bout to be large, come on!”

  I got the point then. Bryce wanted to introduce me. I hustled up my black Brighton bag. I had just splurged on it at the airport. Then I picked up one copy of my book.

  “There isn’t much time.” He grabbed me by the arm as we went to the left wing of the stage.

  Bryce was on stage talking to the audience. He looked over at Mel in the wings, and Mel nodded. As I stood there able to see the packed audience from behind the curtain, I remembered that Bryce had given me a hint he was planning to do something special for my career. People had given me praise before, but never had the star of a play taken time during intermission to say jack about me or my work. Whether his gesture helped or not with sales, I was impressed by the action it required for Bryce to even do this.

  Bryce motioned for me to join him on stage and without hesitation, I did. Lord, thank You, I thought. Holding out his hand for mine, the butterflies came as we stood there connected. He mouthed that it was going to be okay and then he squeezed my hand.

  He looked into the lights and said to the audience, “How many of y’all out there like to read? Shine the lights on the audience and turn the house lights up please.”

  I couldn’t believe all the hands that were up when we could see all the folks out there. It had to have been all twenty-five hundred people with their hands up. If even a tenth of them bought the book, I’d be really doing something.

  He continued, “Well, this play, I’m sure y’all heard, is based on a book. But you might not have heard, and you probably definitely didn’t read it in the program, that the author is traveling with us for some stops. Ladies and gentlemen of Houston, I’m proud to introduce to you tonight, Ms. Shari McCray.”

  Folks started clapping. Bryce let go of my fingers to applaud me as well. I was blushing and felt overwhelmed.

  “This sista’ can make the pages come to life. You need a copy of her title, Luv Right or Git Left. Again I say, you need a copy. The play doesn’t even begin to touch the surface of the message that God has laid upon her heart to share in the pages of her novel. We make it a little funny up here, but in her book she keeps it real. You gotta love God, man. And if you gonna say you’re His child, you gotta do it all the way or you’ll get left behind. I don’t want y’all just raising y’all’s hands saying you read. All y’all folks that really read, give her your support and make her sold out. Don’t just buy one for yourself. Buy two more as gifts.”

  A lady shouted out, “I know that’s right!” The audience chuckled.

  “So help the sista’ out. Would you like to say anything?” he said, looking over at me.

  “I’ll say a little something,” I nervously whispered over to him.

  “I’m gonna buy a book ’cause she’s fine!” a man blurted out from the audience.

  I touched him lightly on the arm and took the mic. “I’m just so thankful right now to be before you guys. I know it’s intermission and I don’t wanna take a lot of your time ’cause some of you are ready to get to them chicken wings.” I got tons of laughs. “Seriously though, there’s a big message in the book. Life is tough and sometimes we wonder where in the world is God in the midst of all our problems, when we’re the ones that walk away from Him. My book is about a character that is loving all the wrong things. He’s loving and seeking earthly fame and fortune. And to you that might be a big house, big car, a big job, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when loving things of the world take over your heart and cause you to sin then watch out.”

  As I talked I got choked up. Where was I in my walk with God. Was I loving worldly or heavenly things? Certainly I wasn’t sinning, but was that what I was headed for. I shook out the negative thoughts I was having.

  After a pause, I said, “But the character learns that he needs to love God and realizes that once he follows Him everything will work out. We all got issues. We all got trials, but I know a God up there that can solve all your issues and get you through all your tribulations. Give the book a try and get blessed.”

  “Amen sista’!” another lady shouted out.

  “How much is the book?” somebody else yelled out.

  “Regularly fifteen ninety-five, but today we got it for thirteen dollars!” I handed him back the mic and gave him a light hug.

  Bryce said, “Clean as you all look I know everybody in here can afford that.”

  I couldn’t hold back the tears when I got back to my table that had been empty for a week and saw a line longer than the one for the chicken wings. People didn’t just want one book. Like Bryce encouraged, folks were walking away with three and four. My hand was finally tired from signing. What a joy it was to be able to have support. I had two hundred and fifty sold before intermission was over, I only had six left. It was amazing. It was unreal. Then I thanked God, because it was for real.

  When the play was completely done, I had another long line. Yet, I only had six books to sell. Twenty-five people walked away with flyers saying they were headed to Borders, Barnes & Noble, Wal-Mart, or whatever black bookstore they could find to buy my book. Others said they were going to e-mail me and let me know what they thought. It was really a blessed time. I felt better about that signing than I did about getting an award. God had to be doing something, because too many great things were happening. And I wanted it to stay that way. Ever since Bryce had come into my life, my dreams were coming true. Was that a sign that he was right for me?

  As I signed the last book, I thought, Lord, let me love the right way now. Even in my own life, help me to do it Your way and not miss what You’re trying to tell me.

  The next two weeks were more of the same. I was riding high. I went from selling two hundred and fifty books a night to five hundred plus. It was unbelievable.

  Bryce and I were having more and more one-on-one dinners. I was really starting to see the brotha’ was deep. He cared for his children and was so torn about the separation. He listened to me as well.

  Though I hated I didn’t see my girls daily, I was happier than I’d been in years. Making something of my life was fulfilling. And my mother was pleased to see me finally fully utilizing my talents. I talked to Stori and Starr before they went to bed each night though. But I was missing them. But for a woman who’d been overwhelmed with motherhood, this break was mentally healthy. If I was going to return home a single mom, taking time away from the girls to blow my name up as an author was crucial. I’d be able to support myself.

  In the next few cities we went to, people started to hear about the novel and I didn’t have to wait until intermission to talk about my book. Bryce had me onstage at the beginning of every show. I gave my testimony and encouraged folks that if they had a dream they could reach it too.

  My agent, Tina, couldn’t believe the success she was hearing. So when we got to her town of New York City, she came and couldn’t believe her eyes. My books were flying off the table. Like the play, the book was a big success.

  We were backstage in the greenroom after the New York show and Tina was just acknowledging my praises when all of a sudden Bryce came up beside us, wrapping his arm around me saying, “Oh, yes, she is the bomb and I can’t wait to read her new book.”

  All of a sudden the pressure was on. That’s when it dawned on me, I hadn’t written a word. Just then I felt the creative juices flowing. I was ready to produce. Though I hadn’t had a lot of quiet time with God, I felt so close to Him. I could feel Him breathing into my soul what He wanted me to write down on paper.

  “Well, she better get to writing it soon,” Tina replied with one hand on her hip and her neck stretched out looking me eyeball-to-eyeball. “Or the publisher might have to drop her.”

  I didn’t speak. I just looked at her like, Come on. You gotta step in and help me out with them. She caught my vibe, and said, “But with all this good press the play is giving her, I’m sure dropping her will be the last thing they’ll do. But you gotta get to writing, Shari.”

  Lookin
g more pitiful than a kid that got in trouble stealing out of the cookie jar, I said, “I will, I will, I will. I’m planning to do a little creative stuff tonight.”

  Tina sternly said, “Good then.”

  “I’m awfully proud of her,” Bryce said as he stroked my back.

  Just the very touch of his hand made me feel warm in places that had been cold for months. Bryce and I had spent time together, but we’d managed to keep physical advances from entering those moments. Now, I was so flustered that I immediately looked into Tina’s eyes for advice.

  She noticed that I had the hots for this guy so she said, “Excuse me, Bryce, let me borrow her for a second.” And pulled me over in a corner. “What are you doing?” she questioned me.

  Of course I said, “What? What do you mean?” as if I had no clue to what she could be talking about, trying to avoid a big confrontation.

  “I mean he’s a star, he’s a hottie, he’s fine. But girl, he’s married and so are you. I know you and Dillon have been having some issues.”

  “Issues? How about I’m ready for a divorce.”

  “Well, you’re not divorced.”

  “Why do you care? I can’t believe you’re saying this to me. It’s not like you really like Dillon anyway.” Tina stood before me with her mouth open, not believing I called her out on what was true.

  Tina asked, “What would make you think that I don’t like your husband?”

  “What would make me think that you do like him? He’s always held up info you need back from me. His mind has been poisoned against you by other authors that have had bad experiences with you. And he’s been a little verbal with you before because you know sometimes you’re mean to me.”

  “Oh, I just tell him to get over it.”

  “I know, I know, but I mean he’s my protector.”

  “We always get into it,” Tina boldly admitted.

  “So I know you don’t like him.”

  “Well, that’s pretty strong of you to say. My philosophy is if you like him, I love him for you. But right now I know I love the institution of marriage and I don’t want you to get yourself into something—a big old mess. You’re a Christian author. Christian. That stands for a whole lot of things. Your morals don’t need to go out of the window.”

 

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