So, I did exactly that. I reached for the door handle, then turned it. I took a step out of the room, then looked left and right. There was a door on the right at the end of the hallway, but the sound of the shower was coming from near the top of the stairs. I pulled in a deep breath, clenched my shaking hands, and moved toward the bathroom. Two doors on the right were partly open, and I remembered Asher telling me they were Cade's and Belle’s rooms when they were growing up. I wondered if they were like Asher’s and still had everything inside of them?
My heart pounded the closer to the bathroom I got, and I did everything to distract myself from what I was about to face. I hadn’t looked at myself in the mirror. I hadn’t seen anything but the few bruises on the bottoms of my legs. I knew they weren’t going to be the worst, but I hadn’t prepared myself. I wasn’t sure anything could prepare me for what I would see.
The steam filled the bathroom as I stepped inside, and I was glad the mirror was fogged up. It would give me time—time to work up the courage to wipe it away and look into my own eyes. I was scared. Afraid of what I would see shining back at me. But I had to do this. This was the first step—or maybe it was the second. The first was getting the rape kit done, so I’d already done the hardest part, right?
Wrong.
I was alone. By myself with only the marks on my skin and the thoughts in my head. I wasn’t sure what scared me more: the memories of what had happened, or the thought of swiping my hand over the mirror to reveal myself.
I closed the bathroom door, then stepped toward the vanity unit. The gray wood mixed perfectly with the modern appliances, and the black doorknobs were shiny. I wasn’t sure why that intrigued me so much. Maybe because I’d never seen a vanity like this one, or maybe because I was stalling.
“You can do this,” I whispered, and lifted my hand into the air. I gritted my teeth as my fingers shook. I was letting him win. I’d always let him win, right up until the point I’d walked away. He may have won the battle, but I would win the war. I wasn’t going to let Knox beat me down, not this time. I’d taken it from him enough over the years, and now—
Fuck. He was winning. I was giving him the trophy without even trying. I couldn’t let this happen. I couldn’t—
“Just do it,” I gritted out, and slammed my eyes closed as I swiped my palm over the mirror. I could feel the water droplets against my skin, and I knew it would only be seconds before the steam fogged it over again, so I opened my eyes, and stared right at my face.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The swelling was settling down, and I was used to the bruises marring my skin. It looked like the last time he’d hit me in the face, but I knew it was so different from the last time. He hadn’t taken anything from me then, but this time, he’d ripped me apart. He’d stolen from me. He’d taken something he had no right to.
“I hate you.” I narrowed my eyes at myself as the steam started to take back over, but I wasn’t sure if I was talking to myself or Knox. I’d let him peck away at me. I’d let him push me down over and over again. I should have seen it coming. I should have known he wouldn’t give up. But when you were in the thick of it, how were you meant to see it? How were you meant to know things were getting worse?
The mirror finally fogged back over completely, but I didn’t move from my position. That part was the easiest, now I had to bare myself and look at the rest of my body. The nurse had helped me shower at the hospital, but I’d kept my eyes squeezed closed the entire time. Now though…now it was just me.
My heart beat an erratic rhythm in my chest, my palms started to sweat, but I pushed through it. I pretended like it was any other day and gripped the bottom of the T-shirt I was wearing. I imagined I’d just practiced my dance routine. I envisioned the sweat on my skin was from the workout I’d put my body through and not the nerves rolling through me like crashing waves, threatening to knock me down.
Goose bumps prickled over every inch of my skin as I pulled the T-shirt over my head and threw it onto the tiled floor. I wrapped my arms around my waist, trying to give myself some comfort, and stepped into the shower. The warm water rained over me, trying to wash away the sins on my body, and it was that that finally broke the dam. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Couldn’t push it down and pretend. Tears streamed down my face. Tears of pain. Tears of sorrow.
I cried for me. I cried for Asher. I cried for every person who had had their choice taken away. I cried for what felt like one hundred hours. I cried until the tears wouldn’t fall any longer. I cried until my body gave in and I slid to the floor.
My hair was wet, my skin unwashed, and I finally glanced over my marked skin. My arms had bruises from his fingers, and scratches covered parts of me I hadn’t even realized had been hurt. I winced at the sting between my legs. The nurse had told me he’d torn me on the inside, but I hadn’t really taken anything in that she’d said. I understood now. He’d pushed his way into a place he had no right, and in the process, damaged it. The dark purple covering my ribs made me wince, and with each inhale it was as if I could feel each of his blows over and over again.
“Elodie?” My ears thrummed at the sound of Lola’s voice, but I couldn’t get my mouth open to answer her. I couldn’t do anything but stare at the marks on my skin. “Sweetie? You’ve been in there for over an hour.” I whipped my head around at the sound of the door handle rattling, but I didn’t move a single inch. “Elodie?”
I wanted to tell her I was okay. I wanted to cover my body so she wouldn’t see. I wanted to wipe at my face and the marks the tears would have been sure to leave behind, but I didn’t. I just stayed there, my gaze focused on her face as she stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
“Oh, sweetie.” Her voice cracked. “Let me help you?” It was a question, one I answered with a blink of my eyes and a sob. I could see the pain reflected in her eyes. I could sense the knowingness she felt. And I remembered her telling me what had happened to her. I remembered her telling me how her own brother had abused her. She could relate to me, but not fully. She hadn’t had this taken from her. She hadn’t had the one sacred part she held closest to her invaded. But she knew pain. She knew pain in the same way I did.
“I’m sorry,” I managed to croak out.
“Don’t ever be sorry for the way you feel, Elodie.” She pulled her jacket off, leaving her in just her T-shirt and jeans. “You never have to apologize for that. You hear me?” I did hear her. Loud and clear. She stepped into the shower and held her hand out to me. “Stand up.”
I swallowed and slowly placed my palm against hers. She gripped it and pulled me into a standing position. I was naked in front of Asher’s mom, yet I felt just as safe as I had when Asher had held me all night long. I wasn’t scared, not right then. If anything, I felt more protected than I ever had.
She grabbed a bottle of shampoo, squirted some onto her hand, and reached for my head. And for the first time I could ever remember, I let someone take care of me. I wanted to tell her I was fine. I wanted to tell her I could do it myself, but every time I opened my mouth, another sob would rip through me and I couldn’t quite find the words.
It was only a matter of moments until she was declaring I was done and stepping out. But I couldn’t get myself to move as she held a towel out for me. I couldn’t get my legs to step forward. I couldn’t overcome the fear.
A door slammed shut somewhere in the house, and I squealed, pushing myself into the corner of the shower and out from under the water.
“It’s okay, it’s just—”
“No,” I breathed out, throwing my hands over my ears as footsteps pounded up the stairs. The door wasn’t locked. She hadn’t locked the door, and I had no idea who—
“Elodie? Mom?”
“It’s just Asher,” Lola murmured. “It’s just Asher.”
I shook my head and tried to back away even farther, but it was no use. I heard what Lola was saying, but it didn’t mean my brain could fully compute it. I was n
aked, and vulnerable. I couldn’t let myself be vulnerable again. Not after Knox. Not after—
“Mom? Where are you?”
“He’s worried.” Lola stepped toward the door.
“No! Don’t open it!” I held my arm in the air and goose bumps danced over my skin. “Please, please don’t open it.”
“Elodie? You in there?” Knocking reverberated through the door. “Mom?”
“We’re in here, Asher.”
“I’m coming in.”
“No!” I screamed, as loud as I could, and dropped down to the floor, curling in on myself and not taking my gaze off the door. I’d been fine this morning. I’d been okay with Lola helping me. But I couldn’t let him see me like this. I couldn’t let him witness the bruises. I couldn’t.
I just couldn’t.
ASHER
Jez and Lara were standing in front of the shop as Dad pulled up outside. The last time I’d looked at this door was that night. The night that changed everything for Elodie and me. If I’d known then what I knew now, I would have done exactly the same thing. I had no regrets about that night. Nothing I wished I would have done differently—apart from not leaving in the first place.
The front door was covered with plywood where it had been smashed, and even though I knew I should have stayed here to fix it up and make sure everything was in order, I couldn’t. Elodie needed me more than anyone else right then, and I wasn’t prepared to walk away and let her deal with it alone. I would be by her side every step of the way. Helping as much as she’d let me.
“You’re making the right choice, son,” Dad said as he turned the engine off.
I turned my head to face him, my stomach churning. I didn’t want to leave Elodie this morning, but I had to make sure we could go away for as long as we needed to. And Dad hadn’t hesitated to hand me the key to the lake house. “I know, I just…” I scrubbed my hand over my face. “I should be making sure this is fixed and—”
“I’ll make sure it gets fixed. I’ll come here every day if I need to.” He tilted his head to the side. “Only once in your lifetime will a single person come into your life and change the way you see everything. A person who will have you questioning anything you’ve ever done. A person who makes you feel whole. A person who has you grinning just at the thought of them. Someone who you can’t see yourself living without.” He paused. “When that person comes into your life, you hold on to them as tight as you damn well can and never let go—no matter what faces you. You hear me, son? Never let it go.”
I nodded, understanding what he was saying. He hadn’t let Mom go when she’d come into his life. He hadn’t let anything get in the way of them being together. He’d sacrificed what he thought he should have been to become the man he was today. Not only did I admire him for the strength that took, but I understood it now. I understood why he risked everything to follow his heart.
He knew without me having to say a single word that Elodie was that for me. So, if it meant I had to take months away from the business I’d built, then I’d do it without a second thought. It was all for her, everything would be for her.
“I hear you.” My gaze didn’t move off his, and I opened my mouth, about to thank him for everything he and Mom were doing, but knocking at my window interrupted me. I turned my head, my gaze clashing with Lara’s, and huffed out a breath. “Let’s get this over with,” I ground out, pushing out of the car. I wasn’t sure how much Jez and Lara knew, but from the somber looks on their faces, I was guessing most of it.
“How is she?” Lara asked, and I wasn’t sure how to answer her because I didn’t really know how Elodie was. She’d blown hot, cold, scared, and fine, but I knew deep down she was putting on a front. She was trying to be how she normally was. She was pretending. And for right now, I let her think I believed her act. As soon as we were away from here, she’d be able to deal with it properly—I hoped.
“As good as she can be.” I moved toward the door and unlocked it. “I made some calls on the way here. New door will be fitted on Friday.” I stepped inside, not sure what I was going to find. The police had only handed it back yesterday once I’d gotten bail, but I should have known it would be ransacked. Tattoo ink was spilled over several surfaces, our machines pulled out, and chairs on their sides. They had no reason to search down here, but they had anyway, and I had no doubt it was because of who Knox’s dad was.
“Motherfuckers,” Dad gritted out, and I nodded in agreement.
“It’s okay, we’ll clean it up in no time,” Jez said, but his deep tone spoke of how pissed off he was. It wasn’t just my equipment kept in the shop, but his and Lara’s too.
I pushed my hand through my hair and gripped on to it as I glanced around. The large mirror where our clients checked out their tattoos had been unscrewed, and several of our drawings had been torn off the walls. I couldn’t deal with this right now. “I’m going away,” I blurted out. I flicked my gaze to Lara and then Jez. “Elodie needs to get away from here for a bit and…she needs me. I need to be there and—”
“Ain’t gotta say another word, Ash,” Lara interrupted. “She needs you more. Tell us what needs doing here and we’ll get it done.”
“I’ll…make a list.” I blew out a breath, not knowing where to start. I had no doubt Elodie’s apartment would be in even worse condition, but I couldn’t worry about it right then, I just needed to get her some things and get back to her. The quicker I was, the sooner we could get out on the road. “I need to head up…” I left the words hanging in the air as I made my way to the back of the store and to the bottom of the stairs which led up to Elodie’s apartment.
I promised her she’d be safe here. I’d let her believe nothing could get her. But she’d been a moving target. I’d turned my back for a second and he’d pounced. Fuck. How could someone do this? How could they want to hurt someone so bad that they’d hurt them so much?
I didn’t understand it. I’d never understand it.
“I’m gonna help them start to clear up,” Dad said from behind me, but I didn’t turn to look at him. My gaze was firmly planted on the half-open door at the top of the stairs. They hadn’t even closed it behind them.
“I’ll get some of Elodie’s things and then we can go.”
“Okay, son. Take your time.”
I didn’t want to take my time, I wanted to be in and out of there as soon as I could, but my feet weren’t working at their normal pace. My body felt heavier and heavier as I took each step, and when I finally made it to the top, all I could see was what I had four nights ago. Knox on top of Elodie. Knox taking the last thing she held. Knox ripping her apart in more ways than one.
Blood stained several areas of the floor, and I knew without a doubt which one was Knox’s and which one was Elodie’s. I stared at both stains for several seconds, then finally moved on to the bedroom. It was the only place which looked like it hadn’t been touched. I wasn’t sure how I felt about going through Elodie’s things. I was invading her privacy, but I wasn’t going to let her come here and pack everything up. We only needed the necessities, but as I opened up the drawers, I realized she didn’t own much.
I packed up the few clothes she had, including her dance wear, and moved to the bathroom to get her toiletries, and before I knew it, I was heading back through the living room.
“I called Ford,” a voice said, and I whipped my head around to the kitchen. Dad stood there, his arms folded across his chest, and his lips in a straight line. If that wasn’t enough to tell me he wasn’t happy, then the gruff tone of his voice surely was. “He’s gonna find out who did the search and why.”
I snorted. “We all know why, Dad.” I moved past the first stain and halted next to the second one—the one that was smaller, the one Elodie had caused.
“Yeah, we do.” I heard Dad’s footsteps near. “But the motherfucker has no idea who he’s dealing with. His dad may be a judge, but he doesn’t have half of the damn connections I have.” I heard the threat loud and cl
ear, and although I’d never seen this side of my dad, I’d heard stories of it. He may have been in his early seventies, but he was as much of a badass as he was when he was forty. I wasn’t in this alone. Elodie wasn’t in this alone. It was clear we had people on our side, but I wasn’t sure whether it would help. I had to go back to court in six months, and more importantly, I had to help Elodie deal with everything.
“I need to get out of here,” I croaked out, not able to tear my gaze away from the stain. It’d never come out, no matter what we did to it.
“We’ll fix it up, son.”
I shook my head. “I’m not even sure I want to fix it up.” My stomach churned, and the nerves that had appeared as we left the driveway of my parents’ house hadn’t let up. I didn’t want to be here. I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to be here again.
“Take some time and think it over,” my dad said, almost as if he could read my mind. I’d spent years building up my clientele, and I wasn’t sure if they’d follow me if I moved to a different part of town. But at this point, the thought of staying in the building had my stomach churning. Dad’s hand clasped my shoulder and squeezed. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
I blew out a breath. “I need to help clean up and—”
“I’ll help them, and then I’ll get Leo and Cade to come over tomorrow. We’ll get it back to how it was, son. Then you can go from there.” I glanced at him and felt like the little boy who’d just fallen off his bike after taking his training wheels off. “You look after Elodie, and we’ll take care of everything else.”
“Dad—”
“Don’t need to say anything. All you need to do is get in your car, go home, and get your own things.” He raised his brow, waiting for me, and I finally nodded. “I’ll meet you back home in an hour.”
I didn’t wait for him to say another word as I walked out of the apartment and back downstairs. I could hear Lara and Jez talking, but I couldn’t bring myself to go back into the main part where they were. I was considering closing the shop down and moving somewhere else. I had no idea if they would come with me or not. This wasn’t just my livelihood but theirs too.
Burned Duet: Asher & Elodie: Fast Burn & Deep Burn (Easton Family Duet Boxsets Book 4) Page 28
