by Zoe York
“I didn’t even think of a change of clothes,” Olivia said quietly.
“I brought my gym bag from my locker, and I can probably hit an open-late Wal-Mart tonight too. Don’t worry about that.”
Jake disappeared for a few minutes, returning with a cardboard tray of takeout coffee cups and a couple cookies. They munched and flipped unseeingly through magazines. At some point Jake noticed that Rafe’s case number now read out that he was in recovery, and then Olivia’s heart rate took off. How long until she could see him?
Too damn long, she decided by the time a nurse called out her name. She jumped up.
“Rafaelo Minelli is your husband?” She nodded. Minor technicalities didn’t matter. “He’s still in recovery, but he’s the only person in there right now, and he’s asking for you.”
Olivia whispered her thanks and followed along meekly, as if the gift of seeing him might be yanked away at any second.
The nurse led her into a large room, empty save for a single gurney partially obstructed by two curtains pulled shut to the patient’s toes.
Rafe. Olivia’s heart leapt into her throat. She edged forward, nervous at what she might find.
The first thing she noticed was how pale he looked. Dark stubble and harsh, bruising circles under his eyes made the white of his face even starker. His eyes were closed, and she held her breath for a minute, wanting to collect herself fully before she had his attention. Her gaze raked over the huge white bandage and cast contraption covering his right arm and much of his chest. He had an IV in his left hand, but he didn’t look like someone on his way to intensive care.
For the second time that day, she was scared to touch him, but it was her turn to be strong. She pulled up tight against the gurney and leaned in close. “Hey, sweetie. I’m here.”
He slowly blinked his eyes open and offered a weak smile. “They keep taking me away from you. That has to stop.” His words were slow and slightly slurred.
“I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
“I’m going to marry you again, Liv. And I want to have babies.”
She tried to tell herself the words were driven by drugs and life-altering trauma, but they still took her breath away. She wanted that more than anything. “Whatever you want, sweetie.”
“Four kids. And a dog.”
“That’s sneaky, adding the dog on after I’ve said yes.”
“Did you?” he murmured, his eyes drifting closed again. “Did you say yes?”
The silent tears returned and she nodded, but he couldn’t see her.
— —
He was sick of the beeping. And even though Liv was a constant visitor, between his temporary cast and the drain and the damn pain medication, he felt like it had been weeks since he’d properly held her. Not to mention the stream of doctors, nurses, medical students. And earlier that day, he’d had to put up with an SIU investigator as well. Forty-eight hours had somehow stretched into an eternity. He was being released in the morning, but they weren’t going far. He needed to stay close to the hospital for a week of outpatient care before transferring his care back up north, so the police association had arranged for a short-term furnished condo rental. Dani and Jake had driven home the day before, and his parents arrived today. He would have insisted they stay in Pine Harbour, but they drove down separately, his mom bringing Liv’s car so they’d have a vehicle in London.
And they’d promised not to stay long.
The door to his private room swung open and the glorious scent of deluxe pizza made him drool.
“How’s my boy?”
Rafe grinned at his dad’s booming voice. Probably wanted a pretty nurse to come and tell him to keep it down. “Hungry.”
“We brought you pizza and salad, I can only imagine what blech the hospital served you for dinner.” His mom moved the pile of papers and oversized water cup from the moveable table and plunked down his food.
The Jello had actually been pretty good, but Rafe wasn’t about to tell her that. He took as deep a breath as he could manage without jarring his shoulder. His parents stood side-by-side at the foot of his bed trying really hard not to look worried. He smiled. “Thanks.”
“Gianni, go ask one of the nurses for another chair.” His mom offered him a polite smile. “Olivia will be here in a minute. She drove herself.”
Shit. “Did she tell you I asked her to?” No, of course she hadn’t. That silly ninny. “Ma, I appreciate you guys offering to drive her back and forth from the hotel yesterday and helping her get settled at the condo today, but we haven’t had any time alone since this happened. She’s going to stay here for a bit tonight after you go.”
“Visiting hours—”
“Don’t apply to my wife.” He made sure his tone left no room for negotiation. He might be a temporary invalid, but he didn’t need Liv to put up with any flack on his behalf. “Got it?”
His dad pulled Anne in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “We got it.”
“Go, chair, now,” she shooed him away, but she was smiling for real now.
Liv slid in just as his dad returned and after a quick hand squeeze and a kiss to the forehead, they dug in to dinner. While they were eating, his evening nurse came in and introduced herself, took his vitals, had a quick look at his incisions, and left them alone again. Now that he’d mastered getting in and out of bed pretty much on his own, she’d have no reason to bother him for another four hours when his next vitals check would happen. He’d offered to take his own damn temperature but that didn’t get any traction.
As soon as he politely could, he started yawning. Get out, get out, get out, he wanted to tell his parents. His mom studiously ignored the cue, but his dad gave him a broad wink and started packing up. “We’ll take the leftovers back to the condo. What time do you think you’ll be busting out of this place tomorrow?”
He repeated what the resident had told him earlier, that it would be after rounds, but the paperwork could take a while. Probably mid-morning.
While his parents were bundling up in their winter coats, Liv yawned for real and he felt a pang of guilt for asking her to stay. You want to go? he asked with a wrinkle of his brow. She shook her head and traced her index finger over the back of his hand with a little smile.
As soon as they were alone, he shoved away the table stretched over his hospital bed. “Come here, baby.”
She stood gingerly and looked at the narrow strip of bed between his left side and the railing. “Uhm…”
“We’ll make it work.” His voice caught on a weird note and he felt hot, prickly tears well up in his eyes. Oh, hell no. He gruffed up his voice. “Damnit, Liv, here, now.”
She laughed and moved the table fully out of the way, then slid onto the foot of the bed.
He awkwardly patted his hip. “I won’t bite.”
“How disappointing,” she whispered, and slowly crawled toward him, carefully avoiding putting any pressure on his body. He wanted to tell her it was fine, but it probably wasn’t. Even the sophisticated pain management schedule he was on didn’t keep him fully comfortable. He’d been warned it would get worse before it got better, as he figured out his limits.
She settled in the crook of his arm, her head on his chest and her hand on his abdomen. He wiggled his left leg and she made a contented noise as she finished entwining their bodies. He said a quiet prayer of thanks as they lay there, just breathing together.
Fuck me, I could be dead right now. A hard knot formed in his throat and he closed his eyes.
“Rafe?” Her voice was shaky and small. He squeezed his arm around her as best he could. “I talked to Dani this afternoon. Lynn’s funeral will be the weekend after next. After we get home.”
He grunted. It was the best he could do without crying and he sure as shit wasn’t going to do that. He needed to talk to Ryan. No, first he needed to talk to Dean. Find out what he needed to know about why Lynn had been there. How it all had gone so terribly wrong.
And then he needed
to man up and call his friend. There weren’t any words to properly express his grief at not being able to save her life. Fuck.
“It’s okay,” Liv whispered, and he realized he’d lost his fight against the tears. Motherfucker.
She held him as he composed himself, and then they talked quietly into the night. He told her all of the things he’d been thinking in the weeks before the shooting. That he couldn’t change his work habits in big ways, but he’d make whatever shifts he could to prioritize their relationship. She told him it didn’t matter, but it did. It mattered more than anything else, especially now.
— TWENTY —
“DON’T even think about it,” Olivia warned as Rafe reached for his keys on the hook by the door.
“You’re seriously bossy, you know that?”
She’d never been in the past, but almost losing Rafe had changed that. She never wanted to let him out of her sight. “I’ll drive you to your physio appointment.”
“You’ve got work to do.”
“And I’ll do it when we get back.” Dancelight had been really good about letting her cut her hours back until after Christmas. The temporary loss of income had been mitigated nicely by the fact that she wasn’t carrying the mortgage on her own anymore. While they were in London, Rafe’s family had packed up his apartment and moved him back into their house, at her request.
They’d been home for two weeks. Rafe was cut out of the plaster cast before they left London, and at first blush he looked like his old self.
But there was no way he’d be able to brace his arm against the wheel if he hit black ice or quickly shift the truck between reverse and drive if he needed to rock his way out of a ditch. They’d had four days of snow and freezing rain. There was no way he was driving himself all the way to Owen Sound and back. The distance alone would be tiring for him.
“I’m driving. End of story.”
He lifted his eyebrows, obviously choosing to be amused instead of annoyed. But as she got closer, he flipped the keys to his left hand and raised them over his head. “Sure thing, short stuff.”
She batted at his arm, but she wasn’t going to haul on him. What was he thinking?
“Come and get them, Liv,” he repeated, his eyes darkening as he looked down at her. “Tackle me to the ground if you can’t climb me.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, sweetie. Come on, we have to get going.”
“We’ve got a couple of minutes. This is important.” He slid his right hand around her waist and brought her in close enough so she could feel the beginning of an erection. He lowered his voice to a husky whisper. “You need to stop thinking of me as an invalid.”
“I don’t—“ She cut herself off. Yeah, maybe she had been. But he’d been shot. “I’m just being careful.” You’re too important to me. God, just the thought of losing him made her teary.
“It’s going to be a long time before I can shoot a gun or play basketball, but I can drive. And Liv…” He nudged her cheek with his lips on his way to her ear. “I can accept blow jobs like a champ. Just sayin’.” She growled as he pressed the keys into her palm. “Come on. I’ll nap while you work up a good rage, and then I can drive back while you blow me.” He was good. Her lips twitched as he gazed down at her. “I’m. Not. Broken.”
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head at some point?”
He shrugged. “It’s possible.”
They held hands for much of the drive. She dropped him at the clinic and went grocery shopping, and on the way back he actually did fall asleep. See? She wanted to tell him. You’re not one hundred percent. But he wasn’t an invalid, either. She thought about that box of lingerie she’d ordered and never had a chance to wear before their lives were disrupted. She’d been thinking of bringing one of the outfits out at Christmas, now just ten days away. A formal reintroduction of intimacy to their relationship. She’d read articles on range of motion and the best positions, but still…it had seemed scary. And now Rafe had just ripped off that bandage with ease.
Or at least peeled up the edge.
She glanced across the car to her sleeping man. She did have work to do, a couple of hours of proofreading location schedules, and that needed to get done today. But as soon as she’d sent that off, she was going to shave her legs and put on something silky.
— —
When they got back to Pine Harbour, Rafe convinced Olivia he could safely drive across the village to his parents’ house while she did her work. He ignored the deep tug as he looked over his shoulder reversing out of the drive. You’re fine. Just park on the street in front of their house.
One of the first things he’d done when they came back from London was dig through Liv’s jewelry box. He didn’t want to give her a different ring. When he held that band he chose at a mall store six years ago, he was reminded of all the hope that younger man had had for the future. He didn’t want to give up on those dreams. But he also wanted to mark this renewed commitment to their relationship—a stronger, more understanding, more patient commitment. One that would never end.
He’d slid her engagement and wedding band set to Dani the next day with a pencil sketch of what he wanted. She’d driven to the jewellers in Owen Sound that same day. They’d called yesterday to confirm the rings were ready for pick-up, but he couldn’t very well ask Olivia to stop there with him.
He gave his sister a sheepish grin as he climbed the front stairs. She glowered at him. “It’s a good thing I love Olivia.” It had only been a bit out of her way since she’d had an early shift today and was already in Wiarton when he called, but still…he’d been relying on all of them for a lot this past month.
“Much appreciated, and I’ll happily return the favour some day.”
“If I have to send you to pick up my engagement ring at some point, I don’t want it.” She handed over a square velvet box. “Here.”
He flipped the box open. He already knew what they looked like, the jeweller had sent him a couple of photos via email, but seeing the delicate infinity band wrap around her engagement ring, the opposite side to her original wedding band…it was better than he imagined. “Shit. They’re…perfect.”
“You going to wait for Christmas?”
He shook his head. “That was the plan. But I think I’m going to do it tonight.” And then he was going to make love to his wife, even if it crippled him tomorrow.
A shadow crossed his sister’s face, and he tipped his head to the side. “You think that’s a mistake?”
“No. No! Ignore me, I’m just grumpy about being single for yet another holiday.” Rafe winced and Dani was halfway to punching him in the arm before she pulled her hand back. “Sorry, usual reaction to stupid brothers being stupid.”
“Come on, I don’t want to think of you being violated by a dirty boy, I can’t help it.”
“Oh yeah? And what are you going to do to Olivia if she says yes?”
Violate the heck out of her. Probably best to move on. “What do you mean if?”
“Seriously, I’m the wrong person to talk to about this. Let’s go inside where it’s not flippin’ freezing.”
“Not a word to Ma.”
He made it through an hour of coffee and cookies before he realized he needed a nap if he was going to make it through a special night. Damn. There was no pretending inside his head that he was fine. Lots of bargaining with a higher power, though. That desperation was an unpleasant feeling that he’d be happy to soon be rid of.
As if his ears were burning, Dean chose that moment to call and Rafe excused himself with a quick kiss on his mother’s cheek.
“Hey man, what’s up?” He took the steps down the front of the house carefully. Speed—or lack thereof—made all the difference. Gravity was a fucking bitch.
“Listen, sunshine, you need to keep your appointments with the shrink.”
“I only missed one.”
“All of them. You need to go to all of them, or you can’t come back to work.”
&nbs
p; I’m not ready. He could admit it to himself, even if he didn’t want to tell anyone else—not Dean, and definitely not a doctor he didn’t know and couldn’t trust. His career hung in the balance. “I’m on sick leave until February. There are plenty of appointments that I will keep between now and then.”
Dean made a doubtful noise, then changed the subject, although that didn’t make the conversation any easier. “Ryan’s taken a leave of absence from work.”
“Yeah, he told me.” They’d had one awkward-as-fuck conversation at the funeral, and another equally painful talk two days ago while Olivia took the Howard kids tobogganing in their yard. Rafe didn’t share any more—didn’t tell Dean about the tears, his or Ryan’s. Dean might have been there when Lynn died, but it wasn’t the same. “It’s a good move.”
“I’m worried about him.”
“You know what? He’s worried about himself, too. And that’s a good thing. Listen, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you soon.”
He clicked out of the call before Dean could interject. That wasn’t what he wanted to focus on.
It mattered. It really did. But he wouldn’t let the tragedy consume him.
Besides, he still needed that fucking nap.
Olivia was still reading away at the computer when he returned. He kissed her, long and deep, the type of kiss that he’d promised her daily and that had been missing over the last few weeks. Then he took two pills and put his head down.
He woke hours later with a jerk. Before he could wrench himself out of bed, Liv rolled herself into his side and murmured a gentle reminder to take it easy.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to sleep that long.” He huffed out a long breath, then scrubbed his face.
“I made a pot roast for dinner, if you’re hungry.” Her beautiful face drifted into better view as she lifted herself above him. He blinked, doing a double-take at the fancy lace and ribbon slip she was wearing. Holy—
