by Lila Kane
“Maybe we shouldn’t go out tonight,” Ryan says.
“Maybe we should,” I counter. “We’re celebrating Myra feeling better. And I’m all dressed up. We all are. We need to keep living our lives here, not staying cooped up inside.”
“I agree,” Myra says.
Logan glances at her. “Of course you do.”
“She deserves it,” I tell him. “We all do. I want dinner.” When he lifts his eyebrows, I say, “I’ll go without you if I have to.”
Ryan sighs and claps Logan on the shoulder. “I’ll let you deal with this one.”
He’s laughing when he strolls off and my mouth drops open. “You’re an ass!” I call after him.
“And you’re stubborn.”
Cheyenne nods her head. “I agree. But I still love you.”
She grabs Myra’s arm and they follow Ryan inside.
“Let’s get up on the porch,” Logan suggests.
I walk quietly next to him. But when he doesn’t say anything else, I turn and point my finger. “We’re going out.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, and we’re going to figure out what to do about Selena.”
“Maybe we can talk about this inside‒”
“Actually, we’re going to make a plan because I already know what to do about Selena.”
He steps forward and grips my chin gently in his hand. He kisses me on the lips. “Willow.”
“Yes?”
“Please, sweetheart. Let’s go inside.”
“Oh.” I step back, my heart fluttering at the endearment. “Sure. But we’re still talking about this.”
“I don’t have the energy to deter you right now. Let’s check with the others, though.”
Inside, Myra’s telling Ryan about cooking in Paris, and to my surprise, he actually looks interested.
“So…” Cheyenne props her hand on her hip. “Should I order pizza?”
“No. We’re going out.”
Logan sighs. “I thought we were going to compromise.”
“I’m not hiding in the house. We’re supposed to be celebrating. Besides, there are a lot of us. We can take on anyone.”
Ryan winces. “No offense, but I don’t think you should try to take anyone on.”
“I’ll be there.” Myra slings her arm over my shoulder. “I’ll be your bodyguard.”
“Me too,” Cheyenne says.
Logan shakes his head and glances at Ryan. “I guess there’s no sense in arguing.”
“I’m not sure whether it’s cool or ridiculous I have an entourage.”
“It’s cool,” Myra says as we walk into the restaurant at the Shadow Hill Hotel.
Inside the restaurant, there’s a piano player in the corner and waiters in tuxedos serving nicely dressed customers. We’re seated near the bank of windows and I spot the hedge maze in the waning early summer light.
As I sit, for just a brief moment, there’s a flash of someone at the corner of the entry to the maze. Selena. Ice shoots straight through my heart. She’s still around and I don’t know how much longer she’ll leave me alone.
Something touches my arm. “Willow.”
I whip around, breath catching.
“What’s wrong?” Logan asks.
He’s sitting next to me at the round table, chair scooted closer to mine than the rest. Everyone’s looking at me.
“I thought I saw Selena,” I say quietly.
Logan’s jaw shifts and he reaches out under the table to curl his fingers around mine. “We’ll deal with her.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Can we order something to drink before you start arguing?” Cheyenne asks with a smile.
“I’m not arguing, just stating a fact. We have to deal with her as soon as possible.”
The waiter stops by and we order wine. Ryan skims his menu for a moment before meeting my eyes over the top of it.
I narrow mine at him playfully. “What?”
“You should talk to your mom.”
“Excuse me?”
“If you want to stop Selena,” he says with a nod. “Talk to her. See if she’ll help you.”
“I was hoping I’d find the book in the cave and that would help.”
“If you decide to go there, it would be smart to have someone else with you. Someone that can go in the cave.”
“I agree,” Myra says.
Logan casts her a sharp glance. “I don’t need you weighing in on this‒”
“Logan.” I pull my hand free from his. “Don’t be rude. She’s allowed to have an opinion on this. We’re all involved now.”
“Yeah,” Myra says, accepting her wine. She waits for the waiter to leave before continuing. “I’d rather not see my brother stabbed if there’s something I can do about it.”
“Exactly how I feel.” I sip my wine. “I don’t want to hurt you. I want this to stop.”
Logan tips his head back with a deep sigh. “This doesn’t sound like celebrating. And if I have to explain one more time that it wasn’t you who tried to stab me, I’m going to be pissed‒”
“Then be pissed,” Cheyenne says, frowning. “I get where Willow’s coming from. If I tried to hurt someone‒even someone as annoying as you‒I’d be hung up about it, too.”
Myra lifts her glass and mumbles behind it, “Me, too.”
Logan’s jaw flexes. He reaches purposefully for his wine and downs half the glass. When Myra explains how she once tried cooking something on the menu, I turn to Logan.
“Don’t be pissed, though,” I whisper. “We can deal with this.”
His eyes are dark and conflicted. “I don’t think you’re looking at this from my point of view.”
I press my lips together, trying to find the right words. I need Logan to understand. And more, I need him to back me up. “No, you’re right. I’m not. I can’t see this from any other point of view but mine. I tried to stab you.” He starts to speak, but I shake my head. “Think about it from my end. What if you tried to do the same to me? Wouldn’t you feel guilty? No matter how or why you were influenced to do it?”
His chest rises and falls with a few breaths as he watches the others talk. I take it a step further.
“What if I was the one sleeping,” I say quietly. “And you came into the room with a knife. What if‒”
“Stop,” Logan says. He meets my eyes. “I don’t want to think about this. I want you safe and that’s the bottom line. But I also don’t want you feeling guilty about something you had no control over.”
I reach under the table and take his hand. “Then help me stop this.”
“How?”
“We need to get Selena’s Book of Shadows.”
Ryan looks over when he hears what I say. “I hope you’re not considering doing this tonight.”
“It would be convenient since we’re already here.” When Logan’s hand tightens on mine, I cast him a smile. “But no, not tonight. I need to be prepared.”
“You shouldn’t go in there alone,” Cheyenne says. “Figure out some way to get one of us in, too.”
Myra nods. “Or your mom. She could help.”
This time Logan nods. “That’s a good idea. Not only that, Selena would probably be less likely to stop her over one of us. Since she’s family.”
“Of course Willow’s family also and Selena tossed her in a well.”
Logan runs a hand over his face and then pushes back his chair. “I need some air.”
I sigh as he walks out of the dining room. “I have to do this,” I say to the rest of the table.
It surprises me when Ryan nods. “You do. But I get where he’s coming from. It’s where I’m coming from, too. It’s dangerous. And there’s not much we can do but stand there and watch you walk right into that danger. It’s not a good feeling.”
I take another sip of my wine. “Okay, I get it.”
“Go reassure him,” Myra says.
I hold Ryan’s gaze. I know he feels like he’s supposed to protect me, f
or more reasons than one. I also know this must be hard for him. Hard to see that not only does Logan have feelings for me, I have them back.
But he’s supporting me. When he jerks his chin to the door as if to tell me, Go ahead, I feel a rush of appreciation for him before standing and following Logan out of the dining room.
I find him outside on the front porch, standing at the rail and looking out into the trees. Off to the side of the hotel, there’s a trail I’ve been on more than once. The one that leads to the cemetery and the hedge maze.
Logan doesn’t move when I step next to him. I nudge his shoulder with mine. “You’re kind of sexy when you’re moody.”
He glances at me, lifting his brows before returning his attention to the trees.
“Do you think I’m sexy when I’m moody?” I ask, trying to lighten the tone of our conversation before I tell him the truth of it all.
“I always think you’re sexy.”
I take his hand and urge him to look at me. He turns, eyes meeting mine.
“I can’t be around you if I don’t deal with Selena,” I say. “So if you still want to be around me, sexy all the time, you’ve got to let me deal with this.”
His jaw shifts and he drops his chin so he’s staring at our connected hands. “That’s kind of a low blow. Saying you won’t be around me.”
“It’s not that I won’t. It’s that I can’t. I can’t let myself be in a situation where I could potentially hurt you again. I couldn’t stand it if I did something.” I squeeze his hand. “Does that make sense?”
“On an intellectual level, of course.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. “But on an emotional level, it’s crazy. I’m invested in you, Willow.”
My lips curve. “Invested.”
He frowns. “That didn’t come out right.”
“It’s okay, I know what you mean.”
I try to wrap my arms around his neck, but he pulls away. “No, I don’t think you do.”
“Logan.”
He meets my eyes. “I love you, Willow.”
My throat dries. All I can do is stare at him, my heart jolting with sweetness at the same time my mind says, Too fast, he doesn’t mean it.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Logan whispers.
I can’t anyway. My tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth. I turn to the rail, placing my hands there to steady myself.
Logan shifts next to me and says, “Okay, actually, it would be really good if you said something right about now.”
He’s trying to trick you. He’ll use you and leave you.
“Willow.”
He’ll break your heart.
“Stop,” I say under my breath.
Logan takes my arms, turning me to him. “What is it?”
“Selena.” My heart hurts. I’m conflicted. And all I want to do is tell Logan the same thing he just told me. But I can’t. “I’m sorry, I…I don’t know what to say.”
He smiles. “You don’t have to say anything. Just that you heard me. Just that you’re not going to back off.”
“No.” I put my arms around his neck and this time he lets me. His breath is warm on my cheek. “I heard what you said, and I…are you sure?”
His arms tighten around me. “I’m sure.”
“But‒”
“I’m sure.”
He kisses me hard, so much emotion in it, I can hardly stand. His fingertips trace the length of my spine and I shiver.
“Logan, I have to do this,” I whisper.
“Do what?” he asks, kissing my neck.
“Get rid of Selena.”
He stops kissing me. He leans back to search my eyes.
“Then I’ll be able to focus,” I add. “Then I won’t have to worry about being around you.”
He’s silent for a long moment. Then he nods and says, “Okay. But I’m helping.”
Chapter 22
Logan lingers after everyone leaves my house.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go home with Myra?” I close the blinds at the front of the house.
“You healed her.” He follows me to the next set of windows. “She can take care of herself. It’s you I’m worried about.”
I flash him a smile and head for the kitchen. “I can take care of myself, too. You should go home.”
I shut the curtains over the sink, peer out the back door. When I don’t see anything, I turn and run into Logan. His fingers are warm and steady on my arms.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” His eyes are dark, fathomless.
I laugh and step around him, walking back to the living room to grab my cell phone, only to realize I don’t have one anymore. I’m going to have to remedy that soon. “I’m just saying, we all need to get our rest for tomorrow.”
“Your mom said she’d meet us, that’s about all we can do. Worrying about it isn’t going to make it easier. Or help you get any rest.”
I take off my heels and flash him a smile. “I’m not worried.”
“You’re lying.”
I sigh. “Yeah, I’m lying.”
I’m worried because I don’t want to hurt Logan. I’m worried because he says he loves me, but I can’t say it back. What if something happens? What if someone gets hurt? It’s not easy to give my heart so fully when it’s been stomped on more than once in the past.
Besides that, my mode of coping is keeping busy. Ignore the fear and worry, and keep going.
Logan steps in front of me and takes my shoes from my hand.
“Hey,” I protest. “What are you doing? I was going to put those in the closet.”
Logan steps closer, enough that I can smell his cologne and feel the heat from him on my bare skin. He sets his hands on my hips. “Yeah, I kind of noticed your compulsion with keeping things clean. And uncluttered.”
“I don’t like clutter.” I lift my chin so I can look in his eyes.
“Even in your relationships,” he murmurs, kissing me.
I freeze even as his lips continue to trail over my jaw. He nuzzles against my shoulder, breathing in a deep breath. “Why did you say that?”
He switches his mouth to my other shoulder, tracing his lips to my collarbone. “Because,” he says, pausing to kiss me again, “You want to keep it nice and simple. You’re afraid to tell me how you really feel and you’re afraid to let me stay here or to let me help.”
“Because I don’t want you to get hurt!”
Logan straightens. His eyes are gentle and his tone is soft. “I understand. Because I feel the same way. So if I’m willing to let you go into that cave tomorrow, you have to be willing to trust me some, too.”
I snag the heels from his hand and stomp down the hallway to the closet. His footsteps are too quiet to hear, but I know he’s behind me. “Willing to let me go to the cave? Like I need your permission?”
His breath eases out in a soft sigh. “That’s not what I meant.”
I set the shoes in the closet, which looks sad and empty. I don’t travel with much so when I came here I only had a few days’ worth of clothes. Now I’m stuck with that because there’s no way I can leave Shadow Hill to get more.
“I meant I’m willing to stop trying to get you to change your mind,” Logan says, propping his shoulder against the wall by the door, “even though I want to. Even though I want to bring you to my house and keep you safe there until this is all over.”
I close my eyes for one long moment and pull my hair off my neck. “It’s not going to be over unless we do something.”
He reaches for me. “I know. That’s why‒”
“Logan, no.” I side-step his hands, knowing it’s harder to argue with him when he’s touching me. “It’s probably better if you go home.”
“No.”
My eyes narrow. “No?”
He steps further into the room but keeps his hands to himself. “You’re scared.”
“What?” I shake my head when I hear the slight squeak in my voice. “You don’t know what yo
u’re talking about.”
His smile is gentle. “You’re shaking, sweetheart.”
I clench my hands together when I realize he’s right. How is it so easy for him to get to me with simple words? “Don’t…don’t call me that.”
“Sweetheart,” he whispers. My heart races. “You’re scared, I can tell. That’s why you’re telling me to leave.”
“You’re a mind reader now?”
He laughs and captures my hands in his before I can back away. “I’ll leave if you really want me to. But not because you think you’re going to hurt me or because you’re afraid of your feelings for me.”
“I’m not‒that’s not‒” I blow out a breath.
“You know,” he says, nudging me to the bed and sitting next to me, “it’s pretty much always been love at first sight for everyone in my family.”
My heart jolts when he says “love” again. I push to my feet, unable to sit still, and start pacing.
“But that doesn’t mean it has to be that way for you,” Logan says. “So if you’re trying to push me away because your feelings aren’t as strong as mine, you don’t have to.”
I keep pacing but shake my head. How does he know what’s going on in my head? How does he always know the right thing to say?
“You really think you know everything, don’t you?” I ask, voice irritated. “Is this really that easy for you? Just say ‘I love you’ and that’s that?”
He stares at me, a small smile curving the corners of his lips. “This feels like a trick question.”
I shove my hands into my hair. “Forget it.”
Turning to the door, I’m prepared to leave the room when Logan’s there in an instant, blocking my way. I yank in a breath. I forgot how fast he can move.
“No, it’s not easy for me,” he says, eyes dark. “I’ve never felt this way about someone before and it makes me uncomfortable.”
“Gee, thanks‒”
“Let me finish, please,” he snaps.
I fold my arms and press my lips together.
“It makes me uncomfortable because I know it’s real. It makes me uncomfortable because I can feel myself changing every day and I don’t want to have to put you through that. But I can’t help myself.”
I blink, surprised he told me the reason. Surprised he opened up to me because Ryan wouldn’t. Not about his past and not about his powers.
